The Playboy of Harley Street / Doctor on the Red Carpet

by Anne Fraser

  ‘Katie, it’s Fabio.’ Suzy’s voice came from behind her.

  ‘Fabio!’ Immediately her heart started racing. Had he come to tell her it was all over? Before they came face to face at work? Well, if he had, she wouldn’t give herself away.

  A glance in the mirror confirmed her worst fears. She looked as if she’d spent the night arguing with a hurricane. Her hair was all over the place, she had a smear of baby food on her cheek and she was wearing her oldest pair of tracksuit bottoms. Bloody typical.

  Noticing her hesitation, Suzy gave her a small push. ‘He’s waiting,’ she hissed.

  ‘I can’t see him like this,’ Katie hissed back. ‘Can’t you stall him?’

  ‘What am I supposed to say? Could you wait half an hour while Katie dolls herself up for you?’

  ‘I don’t care what you tell him, just give me ten minutes—or fifteen,’ she added when Suzy raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

  ‘Can I help?’ An amused voice came from the doorway.

  Katie swung around with a little yelp. She had been so busy arguing with Suzy she hadn’t heard him approach. Her nerves thrummed at the sight of him. He was just so damn sexy. And dear.

  ‘It’s okay. I was just putting Ricky down, but he’s sleeping now.’ She made a futile attempt to push her straggly hair behind her ear. ‘Would you like a coffee? I was about to make one for myself.’ Actually, she hadn’t been. She simply couldn’t think of anything to say.

  ‘I wondered if you’d like to come out for dinner,’ Fabio asked. ‘I did try your mobile, but I couldn’t get through.’

  ‘Battery must be flat.’

  Fabio seemed uncharacteristically nervous. No doubt this was where he gave her the boot. Of course he couldn’t say anything in front of Suzy.

  ‘About dinner?’ If he’d noticed that dinner was the last thing she was ready for, he gave no sign of it.

  ‘Tell you what, guys,’ Suzy interrupted. ‘Why don’t I leave you two alone? There’s a casserole in the oven you could have and I’m overdue a visit to my folks. Would it be all right if I left Ricky? I don’t want to wake him.’

  ‘Sure,’ Katie said. She didn’t know which was worse. Being alone here with Fabio or being in a restaurant.

  ‘Home cooking sounds good to me,’ Fabio said. ‘If you’re sure? I don’t want to chase you out of your home.’

  Suzy picked up her handbag and started putting on her coat. ‘Honestly, I could do with a change of scenery. I’ve got my mobile, Katie, if you need me,’ And with a last wave she was out of the door, leaving Katie facing Fabio.

  ‘I should go and change,’ Katie said. ‘I don’t suppose you could give me a few minutes?’

  ‘You look perfect the way you are.’ He stepped towards her. ‘Even the crusty baby food suits you.’ He licked his finger and rubbed at her cheek. Her skin sizzled where he’d touched her.

  ‘Now I’m definitely having a shower.’ If he was going to tell her that sleeping with her had been a mistake, at least she wanted to feel less at a disadvantage. ‘Could you listen out for Ricky for me?’ She picked up a pile of magazines and shoved them at Fabio. ‘Something to read while you wait.’

  Fabio’s mouth twitched. ‘Cosmopolitan? Mother and Baby? Not my usual reading material.’ Then his eye caught one of the feature headlines—‘How to please your man℉—and his smile widened. ‘This one sounds interesting.’ He shooed her away. ‘Go. I’ll be fine.’

  When Katie emerged from the shower, Fabio was walking up and down with a crying Ricky on his shoulder. Katie hadn’t heard the baby above the noise of the shower.

  She went to take him from Fabio but he shook his head. ‘He’s settling,’ he said quietly.

  Katie went into the kitchen and set plates out, checking on the casserole. It had another twenty minutes to go.

  Back in the sitting room, Fabio was still pacing, with Ricky draped over his shoulder. Katie scooted around to his back to check that Ricky was asleep, only to be met with the solemn, wide-awake but content eyes of her nephew.

  ‘Every time I try to put him back in his cot, or stop pacing, he starts crying again,’ Fabio said. ‘I think it’s safer just to leave him where he is for the time being.’

  Katie smothered a smile. Ricky had left a trail of regurgitated milk down the back of Fabio’s shirt. This time it was his turn to look less than immaculate. She peered at him. Something was different. He was growing a beard or something. Well, not exactly a beard. More like six o’clock shadow. Whatever it was, it suited him. He had never seemed more sexy to Katie than now, with baby vomit and a couple of days’ stubble on his face.

  ‘I could always walk alongside you and feed you mouthfuls of casserole if you’re hungry,’ Katie offered.

  Fabio grinned and her heart flipped, then his expression turned serious. ‘I’m not very hungry,’ he said. ‘But I thought we should talk.’

  A shiver of apprehension ran up Katie’s spine. This was it. The part where he told her it had all been a mistake and for the sake of their working relationship, could they just be friends? She steeled herself to pretend she felt the same.

  ‘The thing is, Katie. I think I’m falling in love with you.’

  It was as if a string orchestra had set up home inside her chest. He was falling in love with her!

  ‘But it’s not going to work,’ he added quickly

  Her heart plummeted. She knew now without a shadow of doubt that although she had told herself many times he wasn’t the man for her, it was too late. Her heart had betrayed her. Reckless and a womaniser he may be, but she loved him. She would rather risk her heart with this man than spend her life safe but without him.

  ‘And I think you care about me too,’ Fabio said, his eyes searching hers.

  ‘Really?’ she prevaricated. ‘What makes you say that?’ If she was going to get the brush-off then she was going to damn well hang onto some dignity.

  His smile was sad. ‘Oh, Katie, do you really think you can hide your feelings? It is the thing I love about you the most. The way you can’t pretend to be anything except who you are. Being with you is like being in a harbour. A place of safety from the storm.’

  ‘So why can’t we be together?’ Katie sank down on the nearest armchair as Fabio continued to pace.

  ‘For all sorts of reasons. First, I’m not the marrying kind. I don’t believe that two people can live together without tearing each other apart.’

  Marriage! Did he say marriage? Her mouth went dry.

  ‘Who said anything about getting married? Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a bit?’

  ‘I’m just trying to be honest. I need you to know that wherever this goes, it can’t be permanent.’

  ‘Why? Why do you say that?’

  He smiled, but there was no humour in his eyes. ‘I saw the way my parents almost destroyed each other. They were in love once, they must have been. I was very young when they separated, but I still remember the fights.’

  ‘Lots of couples make it. Your parents had different stresses. It couldn’t have been easy for them to follow careers that took them to opposite parts of the world.’

  Fabio stopped pacing and looked at her. ‘I know my parents weren’t like everyone else’s.’ He started pacing again. ‘Like many in his line, my father lived life too fast. Do you know what I’m saying?’

  Katie shook her head, bewildered. ‘I think you’re going to have to spell it out.’

  ‘My father took drugs and drank himself to an early grave. I watched him destroy himself. I swore then that I would never find my thrills in the bottom of a bottle or in chemicals. That’s why I surf and take risks. It’s the way I get my highs.’ He paused. ‘At least, it used to be. These days I get more of a buzz being with you.’

  Katie’s heart did a little dance and then fell over. He loved her, but he couldn’t be with her.

  Ricky whimpered and Fabio started pacing again. ‘I know that marriages can break down, and that my parents had more pressure than most.
God knows, I see enough of it every day, but that’s not the only reason we can’t be together.’

  Katie’s head was beginning to ache. If only Fabio would stop walking up and down.

  ‘Go on,’ she said quietly, knowing that whatever he had to say, she needed to hear it.

  ‘My folks were so caught up in their own lives that when I got mumps as a child they didn’t even notice. They left me with the housekeeper while they went away for the weekend.’

  He took a deep breath, ‘To be fair, they didn’t know how sick I was going to get. They thought it was a simple case of mumps. Naturally it hadn’t occurred to either of them to get me vaccinated.’

  ‘Was this when you were in hospital? When you decided to become a doctor?’

  He smiled. ‘You remembered.’

  As if she’d forget anything he’d ever told her.

  ‘That came later,’ he said. ‘At first I was too sick to know where I was. All I remember is wanting my mother, and she wasn’t there.’ His voice thickened. ‘I’m not telling you this, Katie, because I want your sympathy. I just need you to understand.’

  When Fabio turned round, Katie saw that finally Ricky had fallen asleep. Gently she lifted him from Fabio and, going to the nursery, placed the baby back in his cot. When she returned to the sitting room, Fabio was staring into space. She had never seen him like this and her heart ached for him. She crossed over to his chair and, sitting on the floor, placed her head on his lap. His hand came out to stroke her hair.

  ‘What happened while you were in hospital?’ Katie asked, knowing Fabio hadn’t reached the end of his story.

  ‘Most kids who get mumps only get mild symptoms. I was one of the unlucky ones. For a while the nurses thought they were going to lose me. This time my mother did come. And my father. I have a vague recollection of them both sitting by my bed. I was happy. I thought it meant that they were going to get back together. If getting sick meant I would live with both my parents, then I was glad.’ He sighed heavily. ‘But as I got better, they started arguing again. Each blaming the other for my illness. The nurses had even to evict them at one point. Not exactly what a child wants to happen.’

  His hands stilled in her hair. ‘I got better, obviously, and I think I grew up then. I decided I would never rely on anyone again. It’s also when I decided to become a doctor. I saw it as a way out. It gave me hope that I could lead a life far removed from that of my parents. You asked me if I ever wanted to be a singer or an actor—believe me, there was nothing I wanted to do less.

  ‘When I got better I returned to boarding school. Most people hated it there, but I liked it. There was no shouting, no arguments, and if there wasn’t love either, that was better than the pain I felt living with my parents. I learned how to depend only on myself.’

  ‘So now you know how not to be with your children. You would be a very different parent from what they were, I think. You’d have to stop taking risks, or at least not as many, but perhaps it would be worth it.’

  His hands gripped her shoulders briefly, before they dropped to his sides. ‘Katie, how simply you see life. Living with me would destroy that. I would end up tearing you in two. I can’t change and you want me to. Despite what I told you about my parents, I will never be the pipe-and-slippers type.’

  Katie scrambled to her feet, feeling a warm tide of anger wash over her. Placing her hands on her hips, she turned to face him.

  ‘I’m sorry, Fabio, but all this sounds like so much hog-wash to me. An excuse why you can’t try and have a loving, committed relationship. If it can’t be with me, that’s one thing, but pay me the respect I deserve, and don’t lie to me.’

  He looked up at her with such an expression of regret and sadness it took her breath away.

  ‘Tell me, Katie, do you want children in your life?’

  The question took her by surprise. ‘I always did. Growing up with only Richard, I always wanted to be part of a big family one day. It scares me sometimes now, especially when I think of Lucy and Richard, and know that I will go through my life terrified that something will happen to my child. But now you ask, I guess it is a fear I’m prepared to live with. I would just need their father to tell me when I was being over-protective.’

  ‘I thought so,’ Fabio said slowly. ‘Anyone who sees you with children knows that you are meant to have them. Three or four, perhaps.’

  ‘Hey, I’m only coming to terms with the fact I might have them one day, I’m not planning to get pregnant any time soon.’ She tried to keep her tone light, but her voice came out with a wobble. The feeling of dread was getting stronger.

  ‘And that’s the problem. It’s not just that I’d be a hopeless risk as husband material, I can’t have children, Katie. The mumps I had as a child left me sterile.’

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ‘How can you be sure?’ Katie’s head was spinning.

  ‘When I was eighteen a girl I slept with told me she was pregnant. As you can imagine, I was stunned. I saw my life going up in smoke. When I told my mother, it was the first and last time I had gone to her for advice, or financial support for the girl at least, she told me that she didn’t think it could be mine. Then she explained about the mumps.

  ‘In some ways, although I wasn’t ready to become a father, I was devastated. I had become used to the idea that there was going to be a child in this world who had my genes and I knew that I wasn’t going to be like my parents and put my own needs first.

  ‘I didn’t believe my mother. I suspected she just wanted me to get out of having a responsibility for the child, in the same way she’d abandoned her responsibility, so I decided to get my fertility checked.’ His mouth twisted in a parody of a smile. ‘As you can imagine, it took a bit of nerve for an eighteen-year-old to put himself through what I had to do. Donating a specimen in a room, knowing that there were people almost right outside, wasn’t exactly conducive to producing the specimen.’

  He rubbed a hand across his cheek. ‘Turns out that my mother was right. My sperm count was so low as to be almost negligible.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Fabio. That must have been hard.’

  ‘It wasn’t so hard at the time. In a way I was almost relieved. At least I knew the child couldn’t be mine, and when I challenged the girl, she admitted there was no baby. It was all a bit of a con to try and extract money from my family.’

  ‘And now?’

  His smile was ghostly. ‘I got used to not being able to have children. I didn’t see the point in marrying. So it didn’t matter. Until now.’

  He stopped his pacing and came to crouch at her feet. ‘I thought it was only fair to tell you.’

  Katie reached out and brushed a lock of hair from his eyes.

  ‘Thank you for telling me,’ she said, ‘but there are other ways to have children, you know. Besides, I don’t care. I love you. You’re enough for me. Can’t you see that?’

  He took her hand and placed it back in her lap. ‘But for how long, Katie? We can’t take the risk that one day you’ll want more. You can’t take that risk. I won’t let you.’

  The blood in Katie’s veins turned to ice. She couldn’t accept what he was telling her. Wasn’t her love enough for him? It should be. He was enough for her.

  Fabio sighed heavily. ‘One thing I have done is to make my peace with my mother—and my childhood. And while I was in Brazil I got to thinking about the kids who don’t have parents. So I’ve set in motion a project to build a home for these kids, one where they’ll get love as well as the best education money can buy. My father left me a lot of money, but I never wanted to touch it. I think he would be pleased that the money he left and the money his estate still makes through royalties will be used to do some good. So, at least if I can’t have children of my own, I’m making a difference to some child’s life. I have you to thank for that, Katie. Somewhere along the way, you’ve made me believe I can be a better man.’

  ‘You were always a good man, Fabio, you just didn’t know it,�
� Katie said.

  Fabio half smiled. ‘If I were a good man, I would have never let you love me. The only thing left for me to do is set you free.’

  After the door closed behind Fabio, Katie sat deep in thought.

  What would it be like to know that children were never going to be part of her future? Because if she and Fabio did find a way to be together, that was what life would be like.

  She stood and crossed over to the window. A car passed in the otherwise deserted street.

  Did it matter? A life without children if she had Fabio? Of course it did, but, as she’d told him, she would rather a life with him than without. And there was the project he’d spoken about. Those children would always be part of their lives.

  There was adoption too, of course. That would be a possibility. But the feeling of unease she’d had since they’d spoken wouldn’t go away. Why was he telling her this? Was it just an easy way out of a relationship he didn’t wish to pursue? She shook her head. She couldn’t believe Fabio would be so cowardly.

  He had no right to decide what she could or couldn’t cope with. Although the thought of never having children of her own saddened her, she knew that she could never walk away. All she had to do now was make him see sense.

  Fabio studied the nervous man sitting opposite him. Luke, the son of a famous TV presenter, had asked specifically for Fabio when he’d made his appointment.

  After spending a few minutes on small talk, Fabio decided it was time to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering this otherwise fit and healthy-looking specimen in front of him.

  ‘Would you like to tell me why you’re here?’ he asked.

  A deep red washed up Luke’s neck and face. ‘Whatever it is, Luke, you can tell me. I promise you, there’s nothing I haven’t seen or heard since I qualified as a doctor.’

  ‘My girlfriend and I were—um—having sex last night when she felt something that didn’t seem right.’ ‘In your testicles?’ Fabio guessed. Luke nodded miserably. ‘Is it cancer?’ he said. ‘We won’t know until I’ve had a look and done some tests. Why don’t you get up on the couch so I can have a look?’