by Anne Fraser
Rose was already on her way out of the door. ‘I gather her invitation was for her plus one, so you could stay.’ She paused. ‘She might need a shoulder to lean on, and I’m guessing the shoulder she needs is right in front of me.’
Fabio’s phone was ringing but he ignored it. ‘Would you ask Jenny to field my calls? Perhaps Jonathan could pick up any patients who need seeing.’ He stopped. ‘I owe you both. Meet me outside. I’ll bring the car round.’
Rose was waiting outside the clinic and jumped into the car as Fabio screeched to a halt.
‘The results for Lucy show a slightly elevated white count and CRP but nothing to cause concern. I can organise another blood sample while I’m there if you like.’
‘Did I ever tell you that I love you, Rose?’
Rose smiled. ‘You did once—at my wedding, if you remember.’
Fabio pointed his car in the direction of Katie’s flat and pressed his foot to the accelerator. Too bad if he got a speeding ticket.
‘A Dr Aubrey called to speak to you. I asked if it was urgent and she said no, but you should ring her at home when you got a chance.’ She passed Fabio a slip of paper with a number. ‘Nothing I can do, is there?’
He shook his head. ‘Not right now. Maybe later.’
‘You’re in love with Katie. Aren’t you?’
Fabio didn’t bother to pretend. He knew Rose would see right through him.
‘Yes,’ he said simply.
‘So what are you going to do about it?’
‘I don’t know. All I know is that making her happy is the most important thing in the world to me and if I can’t do that, she’s better off without me.’
Rose touched his hand lightly. ‘Why is it you men think you know what is best for us?’
‘You can talk,’ Fabio retorted. ‘Didn’t you think you knew what was best for Jonathan when you kept your illness secret?’
‘Touché. Are you telling me you have something wrong with you?’ Her voice was anxious. ‘Because even if you don’t want to tell Katie, and I think you should, you should tell me, or Jonathan. Especially if it’s something that might affect the practice.’
Fabio smiled grimly. ‘I promise it’s nothing that will affect my ability to see and treat patients.’ He took a deep breath. Maybe it was time he shared his conflicted feelings with someone else. And who better than this woman, the wife of his friend, who had been through so much herself?
‘I’m infertile. At least, I’m ninety-nine per cent sure I am.’ The tyres screeched as he turned a corner. ‘Sorry!’
‘I think Katie would prefer to have you arrive in one piece than not at all,’ Rose remonstrated. ‘Have you told her about your infertility? Wait a minute! Dr Aubrey—is that why she was phoning?’
Fabio slowed the car to a reasonable speed. Killing Rose or injuring an innocent driver was not going to help matters. Jonathan, for all his laid-back manner, would take him apart piece by piece if anything happened to his beloved wife.
‘Yes. I decided to have a sperm test so I can be sure.’
‘Have you told Katie about this?’
‘Some of it. I don’t want her marrying someone who can’t give her children.’
‘So you want to marry her.’
‘More than anything in this world. She makes me … feel complete.’ He felt a bit of an idiot saying the words but it was true. Without Katie he’d never be completely whole.
‘You should tell her,’ Rose said. ‘At least she’ll know you love her.’
Fabio brought the car to a halt in front of Suzy’s house. ‘What? Like you did with Jonathan? From what he told me, that’s why you ran away from him. Because you thought you were going to die. And it’s partly why you had the operation. So you could give him children.’
‘You two have been talking! But it wasn’t as simple as that. C’mon. Let’s grab something for Katie to wear.’
Fabio slapped his hand against his forehead. ‘I haven’t been thinking straight. How are we supposed to get in?’
But Rose just smiled and got out of the car. She walked over to a plant pot and lifted it. ‘Ahah! One key!’ She held it up for Fabio to see. ‘She told me one day that she left a spare there. Said she was always managing to lock herself out. I did warn her it was the first place a thief would look, but she wouldn’t listen. Seems your luck is changing.’
When they let themselves into the sitting room Fabio saw an outfit was draped over the back of the sofa with a pair of matching shoes placed neatly next to it. Fabio recognised the dress at once. It was the one she had worn that night on board the yacht. The night when he had truly seen her for the first time. It was perfect.
‘There’s a handbag too. Looks like she had it all laid out ready.’ Rose smiled. ‘OK, lover boy, let’s get going.’
Once again Fabio drove as fast as he could without risking crashing the car. It was almost four o’clock. They had thirty minutes to persuade Katie she had to go, get her into her outfit and get to the palace. Given the London traffic it would be close. Amelia answered the door looking far happier than she’d looked that morning.
‘Fabio, I didn’t expect you back until later.’ Her eyes creased with anxiety. ‘Is there anything wrong? Are the blood results bad?’
‘Don’t worry, Amelia, nothing’s wrong. The blood results are fine. Honestly!’ Amelia peered behind him, noticing Rose for the first time.
‘Rose! What brings you here? Now I’m really worried.’
Quickly Rose explained why they’d come. Amelia was immediately contrite. ‘Katie never breathed a word. Of course she must go!’
‘The trouble is,’ Fabio said, glancing at his watch again, ‘I don’t think we’re going to make it.’
‘You leave getting there to Rose and I. Mark and I owe you both so much, do you think we’re going to let Katie miss this?’
Fabio left Rose and Amelia conspiring and ran up the stairs to Lucy’s bedroom. Katie and Lucy were reading a book together and Fabio was relieved that the little girl’s breathing was back to being as close to normal as it ever was.
‘Hi, Luce. Feeling better?’ When Lucy nodded he took a surprised Katie by the hand. ‘I just need to borrow Katie for a few hours. Is that okay? Rose is here and she’ll stay with you until I get back.’
‘Rose? Here?’ Katie let Fabio pull her outside the room before turning to him. ‘I think you should tell me what’s going on. Has something happened? God, I can see by your face it has. What is it? Suzy? Ricky? For God’s sake, Fabio, tell me.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me your brother was being awarded a posthumous medal this afternoon?’
Katie’s face registered shock. ‘How did you know?’
‘Rose told me. Vamos! We have half an hour to get you there.’ He started leading her down the stairs, but Katie literally dug her heels in. ‘I’m not going. I’m staying right here. Who do you think you are to tell me what I should do? You have no right.’
‘I have more right than you think, woman,’ he growled. ‘We haven’t got time to argue.’
Still looking mystified, Katie let him lead her down the stairs. ‘But I haven’t got anything to wear. There’s no way I can turn up at the palace like this.’ She indicated her work top and matching trousers. ‘They’ll throw me out.’
‘We have clothes—and shoes and handbag. Downstairs.’ As they reached the foot of the stirs Rose silently handed Katie the clothes they had taken from Suzy’s house.
‘How did you get these?’
‘Key. Flowerpot.’ Rose gave her a gentle shove. ‘Go on, Amelia will show you where to get changed.’
‘But there’s no time,’ Katie wailed. ‘I was supposed to be there no later than four.’
‘Mark has our helicopter and a pilot standing by,’ Amelia said. ‘It will take five minutes, and Jonathan’s used his contacts to clear a landing space close to the palace. Now, c’mon.’
‘Or do I have to get you dressed myself?’ Fabio said.
Som
ething in his expression must have made Katie realise he meant what he was saying as without another word she turned and followed Amelia.
It was the first time Katie had flown over London, but she hardly had time to take in the sights before they were landing. She’d been given headphones to wear to drown out the noise of the engine but that had made it impossible for her and Fabio to speak. Her heart ached. Whether it was because of how Rose, Amelia and Fabio had pulled together to make this happen for her, or whether it was because she was going to say another emotional goodbye to Richard, she couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that everything Fabio did made her love him more. And she didn’t want to love him at all.
The helicopter touched down and Fabio helped her jump to the ground—not an easy task in three-inch heels. And then a car was pulling up and Fabio was opening the door for her.
‘You’ll make it. Now go.’
She looked into his familiar eyes and knew, whatever the price, she wanted this man by her side. Through good and bad. Children or no children. He had her heart and without him life had no meaning.
‘Come with me.’ She held out her hand. ‘Be with me.’ She hoped he knew what she was saying.
He hesitated for a moment as if he was going to refuse. Then he grinned and jumped in beside her. ‘The invitation was for you plus one, so I guess they won’t evict me.’
Inside the palace, there were more phone calls where Jonathan had to pull strings once again to get Fabio inside. However, no matter how well connected Jonathan was as Lord Cavendish, even he couldn’t get an unnamed guest into the room where the Queen was bestowing the medals.
‘I’ll be here. Waiting,’ he said. He placed his hands on either side of her face and bent his head to kiss her firmly on the lips. ‘Always.’
The ceremony was as painful as Katie had expected. When Suzy stepped forward to accept the medal after the citation about Richard’s heroism was read out, she had to fight tears. They weren’t the only ones there that day. Too many other families were receiving posthumous medals on behalf of their dead brothers, husbands, sons, daughters, wives and sisters.
Suzy’s parents were distraught, and Katie stood between them, holding their hands throughout the ceremony. When it was finally over she was relieved. She didn’t know how much more she could have endured without breaking down.
Outside, as promised, Fabio was waiting. He stepped forward and introduced himself to Suzy’s parents.
‘My deepest sympathies on the loss of your son-in-law. You must be very proud. I hope you don’t mind me intruding on this day.’ He looked at Katie. ‘I just wanted to check Katie was okay, but I’ll leave you now.’
Suzy reached out a hand and grasped his. ‘We’re going to my parents’ house for a bit and then back to mine. Perhaps you’ll join us there later?’
‘I would be delighted,’ he said. ‘Would it be all right if I came, Katie?’
Katie could read the hesitation in Fabio’s face. ‘You’d be welcome,’ she said softly.
What was going on with him? His usual relaxed charm had been replaced with awkwardness. He was almost shuffling his feet.
Before she had a chance to say anything, he sketched a wave and turned back to the waiting helicopter.
Later, after Katie and Suzy’s family had spent an emotional couple of hours talking about Richard, Suzy, Ricky and Katie returned home. Although there had been tears, there had been laughter too as Katie had recounted childhood escapades. Katie knew that every day she was getting closer to accepting a life without her beloved brother.
‘He’s some guy, your Fabio,’ Suzy said.
‘I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, he’s not my Fabio,’ Katie protested.
‘I’m not sure who you’re trying to kid. Anyone can see that the pair of you are crazy about each other. The way he looks at you. It’s exactly the way Richard used to look at me.’ Suzy’s voice trembled and the two women hugged. They might be coming to terms with Richard’s death but they were a long way away from being able to think of him without pain.
‘I think he does love me. But he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a future with me.’
‘And you believe him?’
‘He was pretty specific. His parents weren’t exactly a glowing example of how to bring up a family, so he pretty much thinks that no relationship can survive. And that’s not all.’
‘Go on,’ Suzy prompted.
‘He can’t have children. And he says no woman should be married to a man who can’t give her a family.’
‘Phew!’ Suzy said. ‘I’m not sure if that’s noble or selfish.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Are you sure it’s not because he doesn’t want to consider adoption? Or sperm donation? There are a lot of ways of getting pregnant.’
Katie thought for a moment. ‘Actually, where does he get off, deciding for me? If he loves me, he’ll consider other options so we can have a family, and even if he doesn’t, I’d rather have him and not have children than not have him. I don’t want to be with someone because of the children they can give me.’
‘Have you told him that?’
‘No. I never got the chance. He’s been keeping his distance. I’m not even sure that he does love me. All this could be a way of letting me down lightly.’
‘Then I don’t believe you know him as well as you think. C’mon, where’s the Katie who would fight for what she wants? I don’t know much, but I do know if you have a chance at love you have to grab it with both hands—whatever the cost.’
Katie grabbed her bag. ‘You know what, Suze? You’re right. If he doesn’t want me, he’s going to have to tell me that and I’ll live with it. What I won’t live with is never knowing what might have been. Now, where are my car keys?’
Fabio emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He couldn’t put it off any longer. One way or another he had to know the results of his sperm test. He wanted Katie. Wanted her more than he’d thought it possible to want a woman. He wanted her with him every day for the rest of his life. But he wouldn’t ask her to marry him as long as he knew he was infertile. He couldn’t do that to her.
He picked up his mobile and studied it thoughtfully. The next few minutes could change the course of his life. Checking Dr Aubrey’s number from the piece of paper, he dialled.
Katie tapped on the door, feeling nervous. All her earlier courage had evaporated. Despite her brave words to Suzy, she knew she’d be devastated if Fabio turned her down.
When he answered the door, wearing only a towel and looking as sexy as hell, it took every ounce of her resolve not to fling herself into his arms. Even if he didn’t want a long-term relationship, something was better than nothing. But as soon as she thought the words, she knew she didn’t believe them. She wanted Fabio, heart and soul, not just a little bit of him.
He was wearing a stunned expression on his face. No doubt he was surprised to see her here.
‘Can I come in?’ she said, and without waiting for a reply squeezed past him. As she did so, she caught the tantalising scent of soap.
‘I was coming to see you,’ he said.
‘I saved you the bother.’ She wasn’t going to let him talk. She was going to have her say, come hell or high water.
She whirled round to face him. ‘I know you love me, Fabio. I don’t care what you say, I feel it in here.’ She pressed a palm against her heart, knowing she was being dramatic, but she couldn’t help herself. She had to make him accept that she wanted him, good or bad, madcap, reckless existence, infertility, the lot. The only part of him she would not accept, of course, was the playboy. That would definitely have to go.
‘You do?’ He was still looking bemused.
‘Oh, yes. I may not have much experience with men but I know when someone is lying to me. You say you can’t marry me, and it’s something to do with not having kids and thinking that we will be like your parents and that we won’t survive. I’m here to tell you
that you’re wrong. We will. Even if we never have children, we will be together for the rest of our lives. The children in Brazil can become our children. And …’ She wagged her finger at him as he opened his mouth to speak. Was that really laughter in his dark eyes? This was so not a laughing matter. ‘And,’ she continued, ‘we could have our own children if we both decide that we want to. We can adopt, we can use a sperm donor. There are ways. But …’ her voice hitched ‘… I don’t care about that. Not if I can’t have you.’
He was looking at her in a way that made her already rapid beating pulse beat harder.
‘You would give up the chance to have children for me?’ he said wonderingly.
She nodded her head vigorously. ‘I would even, God help me, put up with you doing that big wave surfing or whatever you call it—although don’t expect me to go and watch because I couldn’t. We don’t choose the people we love, and when we do fall in love, we shouldn’t want to change them.’
Her words dried up. She had no more to say. He was still looking at her with an odd expression on his face. Had she got it all completely wrong and made a prize fool of herself? She was offering him everything she had and still he made no move towards her.
Her throat tightened and she picked up her handbag. All she wanted right now was to escape so she could lick her wounds in private.
‘I just wanted you to know,’ she said stiffly. ‘But we can forget I said anything. I’ll start looking for another job tomorrow.’
As she turned away, he grabbed her by the arm and turned her, tipping her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes.
‘Say that again,’ he commanded.
‘Which bit? The looking for a job or the other bit?’
‘The bit about loving me. Whatever.’
‘I love you, Fabio. Whatever.’
He crushed her to his chest so tightly she could almost not breathe.
‘And I love you. More than anything in the world. I want you with me every day of my life. I want to make you laugh, I want to make you happy and more than anything I want a little Katie to love and cherish too. And if that means IVF, so be it.’
