The Playboy of Harley Street / Doctor on the Red Carpet

by Anne Fraser

  ‘It used to work with you,’ his father said. ‘Mind you, you were riding on your own when you were three years old. You always refused to be led.’

  It was a revelation to Kendrick. Nowhere in his memory was there an image of his father teaching him to ride.

  ‘You had barely started at school when you were clearing jumps twice the size of yourself.’

  Kendrick thought he must be mistaken. Surely that wasn’t pride he heard in his father’s voice?

  ‘Come on, you two,’ his mother called from the doorway. ‘Supper’s ready.’

  It was strange sitting down to a meal with his parents in his childhood home. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that. And even stranger seeing Elizabeth opposite him. His mother was too polite to ask Elizabeth too many searching questions, even though he could tell the curiosity was almost killing her.

  ‘Oh, honey, I meant to tell you and I completely forgot!’ Kendrick’s mother, Susan, said, a look of dismay on her face.

  ‘What is it? Is something wrong?’ Kendrick replied, sounding alarmed.

  But his mother was smiling widely. ‘No, not wrong at all. Your Aunt Camilla phoned me while I was away to tell me that Fabio is getting married. He’s finally found the girl for him. Like you should.’ Susan flicked a look in Elizabeth’s direction. She couldn’t have made it more obvious if she tried.

  ‘Fabio! Getting married. Well, I’ll be damned. Sorry, Mother.’ Kendrick turned to Elizabeth. ‘My cousin Fabio is the last man I’d expect to tie the knot.’

  ‘That’s what happens, darling, when you fall in love,’ his mother said with another pointed look at Elizabeth. ‘They’re getting married in Brazil. In three weeks’ time. I know he would like you to be there.’

  ‘I’m surprised he didn’t let me know himself. Perhaps he was frightened I’d talk him out of it.’

  His mother’s frown told him he’d said the wrong thing. Couldn’t she just accept he wasn’t going to get married? ‘But wild horses wouldn’t keep me from Fabio’s wedding. Filming should be finished by then.’

  ‘What about you, Elizabeth? Will you go?’ Susan asked.

  Elizabeth gave a small shake of her head. The sad look on her face made his chest tighten. He should have kept away from her.

  Finally, the meal over, Susan served the coffee.

  ‘We should leave soon, Mom,’ Kendrick said. ‘If we’re to make it back before midnight.’

  His father cleared his throat and Kendrick knew he was ready to have his say.

  ‘I was talking to your commanding officer a couple of days ago,’ he said.

  ‘Ex-commanding officer,’ Kendrick corrected mildly.

  ‘Yes. Well. That’s the point. He wants you back. Says he’s prepared to forget all about that other business.’

  ‘I’m not going back to a desk job, Dad,’ Kendrick said tiredly. He had lost count of how many times they’d had this conversation.

  ‘It’s a good life, son. They’ll give you back your rank in a year. Maybe sooner. And, besides, it’s not a desk job.’

  Kendrick’s ears pricked up. The main reason he’d left the army had been because they wouldn’t let him fly after he’d damaged their helicopter. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just because of the damage, more to do with disobeying orders, but that hadn’t been the only reason he’d left.

  ‘I’m not going back to fight in Iraq, Dad. I know you don’t want to hear that.’

  A look of dismay—or was it repugnance?—crossed his father’s face. As a colonel and a career soldier, Kendrick’s disgrace had reflected badly on him. But he was done trying to be the person his father wanted.

  ‘They want you to come back and teach new pilots how to fly Apaches. They say no one knows how to do it better than you.’

  That was different. He’d be flying again. And teaching the kids straight out of flying school how to keep themselves in one piece.

  ‘What is an Apache?’ Elizabeth asked. She’d been sitting listening quietly.

  Hugh explained and Elizabeth looked even paler than she had done earlier.

  ‘I don’t know, Dad. It’s a possibility. How long do I have to think it over?’

  ‘As long as you like,’ Hugh said. His smile was the first genuine one Kendrick had seen in three years. ‘But he’s keen to know your answer.’

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ Kendrick said. He drained the last of his coffee and stood up. ‘I want to ride Satan one more time before we leave, if that’s okay with you, Elizabeth?’

  ‘Sure. I’ll help your mother clear away while you’re gone.’

  ‘You don’t have to help,’ Susan said as Kendrick and his father left the room. ‘Why don’t you take your coffee back outside onto the veranda? I’m used to having the kitchen to myself.’

  ‘I’ll have it at the kitchen table if that’s okay?’

  When Susan nodded, Elizabeth sat down and took a sip of her coffee. She liked it here. Despite the tension between Kendrick and his father, it felt comforting to be in someone else’s kitchen.

  ‘Do you think Kendrick will go back to the army?’ she asked Susan.

  Susan wiped her hands on a tea towel and studied Elizabeth for a moment. ‘I don’t know how much you know about the reason he left,’ she said slowly.

  ‘I know he got into trouble for disobeying orders,’ Elizabeth replied. ‘He told me.’

  ‘Did he tell you that the reason he got into trouble was because he went to rescue a group of soldiers who were pinned down by enemy fire and that one of the soldiers who was caught in the ambush was his girlfriend Amy?’

  Elizabeth was stunned. ‘No, he didn’t.’

  Susan folded her lips as if Elizabeth’s response was what she’d expected. ‘Just as I thought. He doesn’t talk about it to anyone.’ Susan turned away and looked out of the window. ‘We all loved Amy, especially Kendrick’s father. We hoped that they would get married, that at long last Kendrick would settle down.’

  ‘Loved her?’ Elizabeth’s throat was dry.

  ‘She died before Kendrick could reach her. He left his helicopter to try and get to her. She was the reason he disobeyed orders. But it was no use. He was too late. He managed to pull two other soldiers to safety, but he blames himself for not getting to Amy sooner. I sometimes think his father blames him too.’

  Elizabeth’s head was swirling. It explained so much about Kendrick. The haunted look she saw in his eyes when he thought no one was looking. His attitude as if every moment had to be squeezed out of life. His reluctance to get involved. Like a jigsaw, all the pieces fell into place.

  ‘But now he’s met you.’ Susan turned back to Elizabeth. ‘Maybe he’ll have a reason to think about the future. Maybe he can find happiness again.’

  It was on the tip of Elizabeth’s tongue to tell Susan that she wasn’t the person to bring Kendrick happiness. She had too many of her own demons to deal with, but she swallowed the words. Perhaps she and Kendrick could find some solace together, if only for a little while.

  Elizabeth waited until they were a good bit along the road before she raised the question that had been bothering her.

  ‘Your mother told me about your girlfriend,’ she said.

  The darkness hid Kendrick’s expression from her.

  ‘Did she now,’ he said softly.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘There was nothing to tell. I loved her. She’s dead.’ He couldn’t hide the pain in his voice.

  ‘So that’s why you risked everything? To try and save her?’

  ‘How the hell did anyone expect that I would leave her there? Even if I knew she was dead, I couldn’t leave her.’ His voice was ragged and it tore through Elizabeth. She knew his pain.

  ‘Pull over, Kendrick,’ she said.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just do as I ask.’

  He pulled the car onto the side of the road and they sat in silence for a few moments.

  ‘Is the reason you’ve been avoiding me anyt
hing to do with her death?’ Elizabeth asked.

  ‘Lizzie,’ Kendrick said. ‘Every time I look in your eyes. Every time you talk about your child, I’m reminded. And I don’t want to be reminded. I want to forget.’

  ‘Is that why you live the life you do? I know that feeling, Kendrick. I know what it’s like to not want to feel. To keep your mind full so you won’t think. It only works for a little while.’ She reached over and took his hand in hers. ‘I think what we have is good for us both. It helps us both. We’ll never forget them, Kendrick, but what’s wrong with finding peace where we can?’

  He took a long, shuddering breath. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Lizzie. You’ve been hurt enough.’

  Reaching up, she threaded her hands behind his head. ‘Nothing can hurt me any more,’ she said. She pulled his face down to hers and tasted a salty wetness that made her heart ache. ‘I want you, Kendrick. Even for a short while. I know once we leave here we’ll go our separate ways, but for now just love me.’

  CHAPTER NINE

  AS FILMING drew to a close, the days on the film set were quieter. Every evening, when filming had finished for the day, Kendrick saddled up Buster and they went riding. Elizabeth was delighted to find that she and her mount had developed a rapport and soon she was happy to canter for long distances.

  Sometimes they stayed out after night had fallen and Kendrick would make camp. They would sit with their arms wrapped around each other, listening to the sounds of the desert. They talked a little but never of their lives. Mostly they made love. Every evening Kendrick came to her and spent the night, rising before dawn so as not to draw attention, although Elizabeth doubted they were fooling anyone. It was the happiest she had been since Charlie had died and she tried to forget that one day soon it would be all over. Kendrick would walk out of her life and she out of his and they would never see each other again.

  She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She would face the future when she had to and not a moment before. All she knew was that she wouldn’t be going back to her home in the UK. It had been sold and a new family was due to move in before she got back. Elizabeth hoped they would be happy.

  Jack still hadn’t returned. Philip was on edge and his anxiety permeated the camp. Kendrick told her that Philip had filmed all the stunts he could, but now had to wait for Jack’s return before filming could start again.

  ‘He’s worried,’ Kendrick said. ‘If the film goes over budget, it’s his responsibility.’

  ‘There’s nothing he can do about Jack being ill.’ Elizabeth did wonder though. Jack’s food poisoning should have disappeared by now.

  ‘Gossip has it that he’s taken himself off to Las Vegas for a couple of days,’ Kendrick said. ‘Whatever, Philip can’t continue until he’s back. Luckily he was ahead of schedule so has a couple of days in hand before he falls behind. In the meantime, he’s given everyone the weekend off. He’s determined filming will start again on Monday. I suspect I’ll be sent to strongarm Jack back to the set if he doesn’t appear on Sunday evening.’

  Kendrick studied her with a crooked smile. ‘What do you say we take ourselves off for a couple of days? I’ll go crazy if I have to hang around here with nothing to do.’

  Elizabeth hesitated. ‘What do you have in mind?’

  ‘A day in LA, then we could drive up the coast. Remember that place I told you about? Built into the cliff? I’ve booked us a night.’

  Still Elizabeth hesitated. She was unsure why. Perhaps it was because she could no longer kid herself that she wasn’t falling for Kendrick. She felt an unexpected ache in her heart.

  ‘Why not?’

  The next couple of days were the happiest Elizabeth could remember since Charlie had died. They did all the touristy stuff in Los Angeles. Trying to fit their handprints in those of the famous film stars, walking down Sunset Boulevard.

  They spent the first night in Kendrick’s cabin, sitting on the beach in the moonlight, watching the surf rolling in. Kendrick sitting behind her with his legs on either side, her leaning against his chest. He taking her by the hand to his cabin where they made love, the sheets tangling in their limbs, laughing at nothing, nibbling on salt crackers and cheese.

  Then setting off up the coast on Kendrick’s motorbike, she holding him tightly as he whizzed along the road. Stopping for a picnic lunch of fruit, cheese and bread that Elizabeth had picked up from a delicatessen. Back on the bike with the wind in their hair.

  Elizabeth was smiling when, just as evening was falling, they reached the place Kendrick had booked for the night.

  The hotel was built into a mountain, the rooms set so far into the cliff they were almost invisible to the naked eye. Each one was like an isolated pod, with an open fire for cooler winter evenings and a large double bed covered in soft throws. A small plunge pool in front of their room looked out over the cliff and out to sea. Each cabin had been positioned for maximum privacy. As Elizabeth looked down on the crashing surf below an eagle flew past, almost at eye level.

  She sighed. It was perfect.

  ‘Would you like to have dinner or do you fancy a swim first?’ Kendrick said. His eyes darkened as he looked at her and Elizabeth felt the familiar feeling of lust coil in her belly. She could never get enough of him. But it wasn’t just lust.

  When he grinned, his eyes crinkled at the corners and his eyes seemed to glint like diamonds. Whenever she was with him, it was as if the outside world disappeared and nothing mattered except that they were lost in each other.

  Thinking about Charlie still made her heart splinter, but it was no longer unbearable. Instead of the all-consuming pain, she was occasionally able to think about her child without wanting to curl into a little ball and shut out the world. Was her heart at last healing a little? She would never forget her child, there was no question of that, but she was beginning to envisage a time when she could remember her daughter with gratitude for the time they’d had together. The pain, the desperate sense of loss would never go, but she welcomed the temporary lifting of the searing grief she had been carrying around with her these last few months.

  Kendrick had pulled her towards him and was slowly unbuttoning her blouse, looking into her eyes all the time.

  She had this man to thank for easing some of her pain.

  He slipped her shirt off her shoulders and moved his attention to the top button of her jeans. Elizabeth moaned softly as he undid the button and eased her jeans over her hips.

  ‘I think dinner and swimming might have to wait,’ Kendrick said, his mouth on her belly.

  As heat spiralled through her she knew that somewhere along the way, despite her resolve not to, she had fallen for this man. She was in love. For the first time in her life. What she’d felt for Simon had been nothing compared to how she felt about Kendrick. She loved him heart and soul. For ever.

  The realisation chilled her to the core. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Hadn’t she told herself that the only reason she was with him was because he didn’t see a future for them any more than she did?

  And then as he picked her up and into his arms, all thoughts were swept away.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ELIZABETH looked at the faint blue line and felt ill.

  Pregnant.

  Definitely pregnant.

  At first she’d tried to pretend that the tender breasts and nausea were signs her period was due, but as the days passed, the gnawing suspicion wouldn’t go away. Then when Tara had come for her antenatal check-up, the penny had dropped. The symptoms Tara was experiencing were exactly those Elizabeth was going through.

  She had been in denial. It hadn’t occurred to her she might get pregnant. Charlie’s conception had been almost a miracle. She was certain there was no way another one could happen. And just in case, she had put herself on the Pill. No way did she ever want to get pregnant again. She simply couldn’t cope with the possibility of having another child who could die. Neither had she expected to be in a position to find herself pre
gnant. After Simon she had told herself she was done with men. Yet she had slept with Kendrick and now the worst had happened.

  She was pregnant. The food poisoning. Why hadn’t it occurred to her that being sick might have made her contraception unreliable? Because she hadn’t been thinking. At least, not with her head.

  What was she going to do about it?

  She got to her feet and began to pace. Although the chances of Kendrick having the defective gene were remote, it wasn’t impossible. What if the same thing happened to this baby as had happened to Charlie? How could she bear to go through all that again? What, then, was the alternative? To terminate the pregnancy?

  Elizabeth slid down the wall until she was on the floor. What choice was that? A termination or loving and losing another child? But this baby was another miracle. Twice in a lifetime was almost unbelievable, but three times? No, she would never fall pregnant again, even if she wanted to. Terminate this pregnancy and she would never have another child. No question.

  ‘What should I do, Charlie?’ she whispered. ‘Would it have been better for you not to have lived at all than to have lived your life?’

  The image of her child, smiling at her as she inspected her toes came flooding back, to be replaced almost immediately with one of her in pain. Not understanding why Mummy couldn’t take the pain away. Not understanding why doctors had to poke and prod her. It was one of the reasons Elizabeth had taken her home. There had been no point in letting the doctors run constant tests on her child if it was not going to change the outcome. When she had finally made herself accept that, it had been almost liberating. Away from the hospital, at least she and Charlie had had some sort of life together. And among the sadness and grief there had been happy moments. Moments when she had held her child against her, knowing that her touch had let Charlie know she was loved.