by Maggie Wells
“Will you come back on weekends?” Aleecia asked.
“It’s a six-hour drive,” Kyle said. “I’ll come when I can.”
He could feel Aleecia glaring at him in the dark.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Kyle said. “I’m doing my best.”
“You told Mama that you want me to get an abortion?” Aleecia asked.
“She said that?” Kyle asked.
“Pretty much,” Aleecia said. “You want to run off to Tallahassee and pretend this whole thing never happened? Where would you be living right now if my mom hadn’t offered us the garage?”
“Aleecia, you’re getting emotional,” Kyle said. “But my mom was sixteen, your mom was what, seventeen? What if we didn’t do that? What if we were in our twenties? What if I was playing for the NFL and you had a recording contract? What if we had waited?”
“Well, we didn’t wait,” Aleecia said. “And here we are.” She was sobbing.
Kyle pulled over and gathered Aleecia in his arms. “I’ll be back at Christmas,” he said. “The baby isn’t due until March. The season will be over by then.”
“Will you stay with me tonight?” Aleecia asked.
“In your room?” Kyle said. “Okay.”
Kyle shut the bedroom door very carefully and stood watching Aleecia undress. Her body was full and luscious. He lay down beside her on the bed and pulled her to him. Everything about this feels wrong. We haven’t been together since the night of the prom. He was overcome with desire and guilt.
August passed quickly and soon, it was time to leave. Kyle washed all of his and Dwayne’s clothes and folded everything neatly in black garbage bags. Aunt Georgia’s stepsister, Louise, had agreed to take Dwayne in after school in exchange for two hundred dollars a week. Kyle was wary but agreed to give it a try.
“How about it?” Kyle asked.
“Who is Cousin Louise?” Dwayne asked.
“She’s family,” Kyle said. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick you up after practice every day.”
Aleecia stood in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest.
“So this is goodbye?” Aleecia asked.
“Dwayne, take this bag out to the car,” Kyle said.
Dwayne grabbed the bag and ran out, humming the tune to Pharrell Williams’ “Happy.”
“Aleecia, baby,” Kyle said. He kissed her. “I’m doing this for us—you need to know that. Be strong.”
Dwayne needed to stop every hour to use a restroom. He’d see the sign in the distance—a Wendys, a Subway, a Waffle House—and start the chant, “Ooh, ooh, ooh, gotta go!”
At each stop, he’d beseech, “I’m hungry!”
“Seriously, man,” Kyle said. “What is wrong with you?”
“I never been anywhere but Fort Pierce my whole life,” Dwayne said. “I’m going places!”
“Your whole long life?” Kyle asked. He couldn’t help himself. He laughed. “Well, we’re heading for the big city now.”
With all the stops, the drive was taking a lot longer than Kyle had planned. He looked at his phone. It was already three o’clock. While he waited in the McDonald’s parking lot, he texted Aleecia.
Halfway to Tallahassee. R U OK?
Aleecia replied: Dawn’s here. I’m OK now.
Kyle felt a flood of relief and love for her. He grinned from ear to ear. Good girl, he thought. You’ll make it through.
He texted a smiley face.
When they finally exited at Tallahassee and saw the first signs for FSU, Kyle said to Dwayne, “I found us a room in a rooming house on Craigslist. Let’s check this place out and tomorrow we’ll get up early and drop you with Cousin Louise.”
Dwayne grunted acceptance.
TWENTY-TWO
Aleecia
* * *
THE TRANSITION BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL LIFE WASN’T AS tough as Aleecia had anticipated. Sure, she knew people were whispering behind her back and she felt their eyes surveying her body for any signs of development. But one benefit of her pregnancy was that she was excused from gym class, which she had always detested. Aleecia spent that period with the other pregos in the assistant dean’s office. Ms. Jamison was already plotting a home-study program for the girls so they could stay on track with their studies and graduate on time.
Aleecia looked around the room at the other three girls and smiled to herself, remembering Isabella’s comment on Facebook: “You can form a club. An extra-curricular activity you can put on your resume!” The other girls were much farther along—their babies were due around Christmas.
Aleecia raised her hand.
Ms. Jamison nodded at her.
“How long can I stay in school?” Aleecia asked.
“What’s your due date?” Ms. Jamison flipped through some papers on her clipboard. “March twentieth? We don’t want anybody going into labor on school grounds so we usually send girls home a month before their due date.” Ms. Jamison looked up. “Depending on what your doctor says, you can probably stay until spring break. You’ll home-school for the balance of your sophomore year and you might be able to take your final exams in class with your peers. Sound good?”
“Now girls,” Ms. Jamison addressed the group. “In order to stay in this program, you must have monthly checkups with your doctors and have them fill out a health form each time. Healthy mommies, healthy babies.”
The girls giggled.
Aleecia was eager to get back to singing and arrived early at rehearsal on Thursday night. Something was wrong. Instead of the excited reception she was expecting, everyone seemed standoffish.
Mr. Buckles approached her. “Aleecia, we weren’t expecting you.”
“What?” asked Aleecia. “Why not?”
Mr. Buckles took her by the arm and pulled her to the side of the room. “Aleecia, we can’t allow girls in your condition to sing in front of the congregation. This is the Lord’s house.”
“Oh!” Aleecia cried. She was overcome with shame and confusion.
“Look,” Mr. Buckles said, “Father Rick has just joined us as associate pastor. Why don’t you schedule a counseling session with him? He can help guide your soul in the path the Lord has chosen for you.”
Aleecia turned and walked out of the church slowly, deliberately feigning calm resolve. Her face burned with humiliation but she didn’t want the others to know.
When she got home she logged onto Facebook. Her feed included selfies from the other girls in various stages of pregnancy.
Aleecia: I got thrown out of the church choir. Apparently pregnant girls aren’t fit to sing the Lord’s praises.
Candy: Hypocritical bastards!
Aleecia: I’m supposed to go for pastoral counseling with Father Rick
Jasmine: Who is that?
Aleecia: He’s a new junior minister. Just moved here from California. I heard he is really hot
Luciana: Hot? This could get interesting! Post photos
Aleecia’s phone buzzed. Kyle was texting her.
Kyle: How was rehearsal?
Aleecia: They kicked me out. I gotta go for pastoral counseling
Kyle: That’s bullshit!
Aleecia: How is football practice?
Kyle: Awesome. I’m starting running back. Big game this weekend
Aleecia: When are you coming to visit?
Kyle: Don’t know baby. But Dwayne says hi
On Saturday, Aleecia knocked tentatively on Father Rick’s door. No answer. She rapped a little louder. The door swung open. Father Rick was in his late twenties with broad shoulders, a full head of curly black hair, and a graceful Roman nose.
“You must be Aleecia,” Father Rick said. “Come in.”
Once they were seated, Father Rick began. “Everything you tell me in here is confidential. Nobody will ever know, not even your mother. Feel free to tell me everything that is going on with you.”
Aleecia relayed the whole story—prom night, the broken condom, Kyle moving into her garage and fixing it up. Father Rick was silent, l
etting her keep talking as she went on about Dwayne coming to stay and then both of them leaving for Tallahassee, the home-school program for pregnant teens, and then getting kicked out of the choir.
When she finished, they sat in silence for a moment.
“How old are you, Aleecia?” Father Rick asked.
“Sixteen,” Aleecia said.
“Do you accept Jesus as your savior?” Father Rick asked.
“I do,” Aleecia said.
“That’s good,” Father Rick said. “Take my hand.”
His hand was soft and warm. Aleecia’s nerves were on fire with a tingling sensation that pulsated throughout her body.
“Let’s pray together,” Father Rick said.
Aleecia didn’t hear his words; she felt the vibration of his intonation and her body rocked rhythmically in time with his.
When he was done, Father Rick embraced Aleecia and she inhaled his spicy aftershave. Father Rick released her and held her at arm’s length.
“Aleecia, I want to help you to find the Lord,” Father Rick said. “The Lord can save you.”
Aleecia wasn’t sure what she was being saved from, but she wanted to see Father Rick again. “Yes,” she said.
“Can you meet after school?” Father Rick asked.
Aleecia’s heart raced. “Sure,” she said. “What time?”
“Let’s meet at four every day,” Father Rick said. “Does that work?”
“I have to work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays,” Aleecia said.
Father Rick consulted his calendar. “What if we meet Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at four? And then, I’ll see you after church on Sunday. I’m leading the youth group on Sunday after service. Will you join?”
Aleecia was willing to do whatever Father Rick asked of her. I have always loved the church—it means everything to me. Maybe God could forgive her. Maybe she could find meaning in her choice to have Kyle’s baby.
TWENTY-THREE
Aleecia
* * *
ALEECIA BEGAN PRAYING WITH FATHER RICK THREE TIMES a week. Prayer gave her life some resonance. As an added benefit, she wasn’t missing Kyle anymore. She’d hear about his accomplishments in the halls at school—his forty-, sixty-, or eighty-yard runs for touchdowns—and the Seminoles’ undefeated season. But she didn’t think about him often, didn’t wait with bated breath for him to text her. Aleecia was finding in her relationship with Father Rick a sense of purpose and belonging. Motherhood was her calling; music could wait. Between prayer sessions, she found solace in the Bible.
Kyle had started out the semester by texting her every day about his classes, his practices, and how well Dwayne was doing. She’d respond with a Bible verse and a smiley face. Then his texts started appearing less frequently—four, then three, then one a week.
“How is Kyle doing at school?” her mother asked her one night over dinner.
“Good, I think,” Aleecia said.
“You think?” her mother probed. “You mean you don’t know?”
“I’m not paying too much attention,” Aleecia said. “I think the team is winning but Kyle isn’t a starting player. Something like that.”
“Don’t you think you should show a little more interest?” her mother asked. She sounded worried.
“I’ll tell you what I’m interested in,” Aleecia said, emphatically. “And it’s not football! My Bible lessons with Father Rick are much more interesting than football. Father Rick is so wonderful! The way he holds my hand in prayer circle and the way he listens to me when I’m talking. I think he loves me.”
“Aleecia,” her mother said slowly. “Could you be imagining these feelings for Father Rick? He’s a grown man. He can’t possibly have these feelings for you.”
“You just don’t know, mom.”
“Changing the subject—what does the doctor say about the baby? How is your health?” her mother asked.
“Well, it’s kinda obvious, isn’t it mom?” Aleecia said, exasperated. “I look like a beached whale. Dr. Janec thinks I’m putting on too much weight. But I don’t eat anything, I don’t understand.”
“What about all the ice cream?” her mother asked. “You must go through a quart every night.”
“Mom! I like to eat ice cream when I’m in the tub. And it’s full of calcium—is that so bad?”
As her belly began to swell and her emotional state became more volatile, Aleecia imagined a deeper and more sensual meaning in the words of the Lord. Her sessions with Father Rick became increasingly passionate. Her newly discovered faith comforted and sustained her through the long months of loneliness and isolation. She dreamed about Father Rick at night and imagined herself as the minister’s wife. What would it be like, making love to a minister? She imagined that he would be very gentle and loving.
Kyle
Kyle was becoming concerned about Aleecia’s overtly religious text messages, thinking again how young and impressionable she was. She had told him about the choir director kicking her out and meeting three times a week with the associate minister for prayer sessions. Kyle was worried about what the church was filling her head with. Every time they texted, she’d sign off with “Jesus loves you.” What the fuck? he wondered. He left his phone in his locker and ran onto the field.
“Hey, Kyle.” He heard Julia’s voice from inside the tunnel leading onto the field.
Julia was a freshman on the cheerleader squad. She was from Jacksonville.
Kyle stopped and turned around, slowly, for effect. “Yes, Ms. Julia?”
“I get excited watching you run down the field,” she said.
Fuck, how come Aleecia never said things like that to him? She had never actually seen him play and she didn’t seem at all interested in hearing about football.
“I hope I’m not distracting you from your duties,” Kyle said. He turned and strode onto the field with a shit-eating grin on his face. He wasn’t planning on making a move on Julia but he sure appreciated the attention.
The semester wound down.
Dwayne and me are coming home for Christmas, Kyle texted.
I’m playing Mary in the church pageant on the 23rd, Aleecia texted. Will u b here for that?
Sure, Kyle replied.
The church pageant? he wondered. He missed the old Aleecia and he didn’t recognize this new person. Would she be parading around town on a donkey? Was she becoming delusional? If they kicked her out of the choir, why would they let her be in the Christmas pageant? He was afraid to ask.
Dwayne’s last day of school was the nineteenth so Kyle packed up and drove to Fort Pierce on the twentieth. He wasn’t sure what to expect when they pulled into Aleecia’s driveway.
Aleecia was sitting on the porch in a wicker chair. When she stood up to greet them, Kyle was shocked to see how large she had become. She must have put on a hundred pounds. As Kyle approached her, she took his hands in hers and greeted him in a warm but platonic fashion.
“Hello,” Aleecia said. “It is so wonderful to see you. And Dwayne! How are you?” Aleecia dropped Kyle’s hands to reach out to Dwayne. “Welcome home.”
“Is your mother here?” Kyle asked.
“No, she’s working until seven,” Aleecia said. “I made up the guesthouse for you. And dinner will be ready at six. Why don’t y’all settle in?”
Kyle unloaded the car and carried the bags out back. The guesthouse was exactly the way he’d left it. Imagine thinking that this would be our love nest, he mused. It hadn’t worked out that way. Was it his fault, for bringing Dwayne into the situation? Since he had left for school, clearly she had moved on. This homecoming was not going the way he had expected.
Aleecia appeared at the door. “I have dinner ready for Dwayne. Does he want to eat?” she asked.
“Yes!” Dwayne shouted and jumped up.
“He misses your cooking,” Kyle said sheepishly. “Mostly we eat takeout.”
“What about your cousin, Louise?” Aleecia asked. “Is that working out?”
/> “She watches him after school and when I have to travel to away games,” Kyle said. “It’s okay, she’s nice to him.”
“Oh right, your games,” Aleecia said. “I heard you’re having a great season. I guess you’re like a star?”
“I don’t like to brag,” Kyle started.
“Yeah, me not so much,” Aleecia interrupted. “They won’t let me sing. And Mary doesn’t even have a speaking part.”
Kyle wasn’t sure what to say. Was she trying to be funny?
“Let me feed Dwayne and then you can come help me set the table for mom, yes?” Aleecia said. “Okay then.”
She wasn’t really talking to Kyle; she seemed to be talking to herself. And she cradled her belly in a protective way. Kyle didn’t recognize her. And not just because she had ballooned to three times the size she was when he last saw her. She seemed different in every way.
TWENTY-FOUR
Kyle
* * *
ALEECIA HAD MADE A BEEF STEW AND SALAD. KYLE helped her set the table and carry in the dishes.
“Hi, Ms. Rivera,” Kyle said. “You’re looking well.”
“My, aren’t we formal?” Aleecia’s mom said.
“I’m sorry,” Kyle whispered. “Aleecia seems different.”
“Saint Aleecia,” her mom said. “That’s what we call her.”
“Saint Aleecia?” Kyle asked.
“She’s found Jesus,” her mother said. “And apparently we’re witnessing the virgin birth, the Immaculate Conception.”
“What the fuck?” Kyle asked.
“It’s her way of coping,” Aleecia’s mom said. “I can’t fault her. She’s all alone here—the girls at school and in the choir have ostracized her. I remember going through that.” She paused to take a sip of her wine cooler. “So how are you? I hear that you’re the star running back.”
