by Maggie Wells
“Things are good for me,” Kyle said. “And Dwayne is doing okay. How can I help Aleecia?”
“Aleecia has found her own path, Kyle,” Aleecia’s mom said. “She’s found peace. I’m not sure where this is going long-term, but let’s try to be supportive. Can you do that?”
“Sure,” Kyle said. “I got so caught up in my own world. I haven’t really been in touch as much as I wanted. Is she mad at me?”
“No, sweetie,” Aleecia’s mom said. “She met this new minister and she seems happy. Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
“What should I be doing?” Kyle asked.
“I don’t know,” Aleecia’s mom said. “Try a little harder to stay in touch with her? She seems to have lost touch with reality. We need to try to keep her grounded. Don’t disappear on her the way her father did to me.”
Kyle thought about it. He wanted to be there for Aleecia, but what if Aleecia no longer needed him to show up and be the father? Maybe that is the right thing for her, but is it the right thing for my baby?
Just then, Aleecia entered the room carrying a basket of bread. “Home-baked, y’all,” Aleecia said.
“You’ve outdone yourself!” Aleecia’s mother crowed.
Kyle concluded that the Rivera women found strength in abandonment. They were hoping he would exit the scene so Aleecia could prove herself to be the supermom that her mom had been. Does she need to prove that she doesn’t need me? Kyle felt like he’d been shunted to the side—benched. He was angry with Aleecia’s mom for not taking his side. He wasn’t planning on running away. He wanted to stay and be a dad. He wasn’t like the others. But he felt like he’d already been dismissed.
Kyle couldn’t wait to get out of the house the next morning. Lucifer had texted that she wanted to see Dwayne.
Is Jared there? he texted.
Lucifer: He went to the Keys
Kyle dropped Dwayne off and met up with Steve.
“Aleecia has gotten weird, man,” Kyle said.
“And fat!” Steve said. “She must weigh two hundred pounds.”
“At least!” Kyle said. “What happened to her?”
“I don’t know,” Steve said. “We never see her any more. She doesn’t hang out.”
“I think her friends abandoned her,” Kyle said. “Now, she spends all her time at church.”
“Well, that’s fucking weird,” Steve said.
“That’s what I’m saying,” Kyle said. “I don’t know how to talk to her. Even her mom calls her Saint Aleecia.”
“What does this mean for you two?” Steve asked.
“I don’t know,” Kyle said. “She doesn’t seem that interested in me. It’s really uncomfortable staying at her house. Maybe I should just go back to Tallahassee. There’s this hot cheerleader, Julia.”
“Yeah?” Steve asked.
“She’s really into me but we didn’t do anything because of Aleecia,” Kyle said. “But now, I don’t think Aleecia even cares about me anymore.”
“Well, whatever, you do,” Steve said. “Don’t knock her up.”
“I don’t think Julia would be that stupid,” Kyle said and then immediately regretted it. “I’m not saying Aleecia is stupid. She used to be so smart and lively.”
“And now she’s a retarded water buffalo,” Steve said.
Kyle punched Steve in the arm.
“Ow, man!” Steve cried. “I’m just sayin’.”
Kyle swung by Lucifer’s house and was furious to see Dwayne huddled on the front porch. He threw the gearshift into park and ran to the house.
“Dwayne, what’s going on?”
“Mommy and Jared got into a fight,” Dwayne said, sniffling.
“I thought Jared was in the Keys?” Kyle yelled.
“He came back,” Dwayne said.
“Why didn’t she text me?” Kyle asked.
“Jared broke her phone when she was trying to call 911,” Kyle said. “Then they went to the hospital and told me to wait here for you.”
“Hospital?’ Kyle asked.
“Crystal got hurt bad,” Dwayne said.
“Jared hurt Crystal?”
“She wouldn’t stop crying and she pooped her pants and he hit her,” Dwayne said. “Then she wouldn’t wake up. When Mommy came home from Boyd’s party, Crystal wouldn’t wake up. That’s when Mommy tried to call 911 and Jared broke her phone.”
“Who is Boyd?” Kyle asked.
“I don’t know,” Dwayne said. “Jared said Mommy was fucking him for Oxy. What does that mean?”
“Oh shit!” Kyle said. “I gotta get you out of here.” He thought for a minute. He really didn’t want to spend another week at Aleecia’s house. “How about if we just head back to Tallahassee? We can put up our own tree and have our own little Christmas—just you and me, what do you think?”
“And Cousin Louise?” Dwayne asked. He sounded excited.
“What about Cousin Louise?” Kyle asked. “Do you want to be with her family?”
“She said she had something for me under her tree,” Dwayne said.
“I had no idea!” Kyle exclaimed. “That’s great! What if we run by Big Lots and pick up some toys for her kids and we’ll wrap them up and stuff them in a bag? And then I’ll text her that we’re coming by on Christmas Eve?”
“Just like Santa Claus!” Dwayne cried.
“Yes!” Kyle said. “This year, let’s be Santa Claus!”
TWENTY-FIVE
Kyle
* * *
KYLE PULLED INTO ALEECIA’S DRIVEWAY.
“Stay here,” Kyle said to Dwayne. “I’ll grab our stuff and we’ll go.”
Aleecia was sitting on the sofa, knitting.
“What’s that?” Kyle asked.
“Knitting,” Aleecia said without looking up.
“Knitting?” Kyle asked.
“I’m making a blanket for the baby,” Aleecia said. “Pink, ‘cause I think it’s a girl. They say when you gain weight all over it’s a girl. With a boy, you only gain weight in your belly. With boys, you look like you’ve swallowed a basketball. With girls, you become a whale.”
“So it must be a girl,” Kyle said.
Aleecia chuckled.
“Honey, I think I need to take Dwayne home,” Kyle said.
“Home?” Aleecia asked. She stopped knitting and looked at him quizzically.
“Crystal is in the hospital,” Kyle said. “Jared hit her.” He was hoping this painted a picture for her and created a smoke screen for him. She’d know it was best for them to leave town.
“Oh dear,” Aleecia said. She dropped her knitting and struggled to her feet. “Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”
“Yes, but,” Kyle said. “Look, I think I need to get Dwayne as far away as I can. I think I need to take him home.” He caught himself. “I mean to Tallahassee. I should take him back.”
“What about Crystal?” Aleecia asked.
Kyle took her hands in his. “I know that you could be such a powerful presence for her. Your influence would be so good for her. But my mom and Jared, they don’t know you. It could get ugly, and that wouldn’t help Crystal. I think the best thing we can do right now is to get Dwayne to a safe place. Don’t you agree?”
Aleecia went into saint mode and smiled beatifically. “Yes, of course you’re right. You are a wonderful brother. We are truly blessed.”
Kyle wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, but he felt so glad to be released. He slunk to the guesthouse and gathered all of their stuff and jammed it into the back seat of the car.
Kyle poked his head inside the screen door. “Merry Christmas, Aleecia. I’m sure you’ll be an awesome Mary.”
“Oh,” Aleecia said. “You’re going to miss my pageant?”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Kyle said. “But Dwayne . . . you know?”
“Of course,” Aleecia said. “You’re so good to us.”
Us? Kyle thought. Was he being good to her? He didn’t think so. This sainthood thi
ng scared him.
They had been on the road for two hours. Kyle struggled to find a clear channel on the radio while Dwayne played games on Kyle’s phone.
“Will you miss Aleecia?” Kyle said.
“Why?” Dwayne asked. “Aren’t we coming back?”
“Maybe not,” Kyle said.
“Okay,” Dwayne said, absently.
Aleecia
When Father Rick asked Aleecia to play the part of Mary in the Christmas pageant, she was thrilled. Father Rick was to play Joseph, and Aleecia imagined there might be some intimate moments. She arrived early for rehearsals, excited to spend more time with him. But, Father Rick was also the pageant director, so he was mostly preoccupied with all the other actors. Even the sheep had more lines than Mary.
“When is Kyle coming?” Aleecia’s mother asked one morning at breakfast.
“He’ll be here on Saturday,” Aleecia said. “He’s bringing Dwayne with him.”
Aleecia felt conflicted. Kyle had been the love of her life, the father of her child. Maybe it was because he’d been gone so long, but she wasn’t able to summon the feelings of passion and longing that she’d once had for him. She knew she wanted him in her life, but she wasn’t sure if she loved him, anymore.
“Mama, how do you know if you love somebody?” Aleecia asked.
“Are we talking about Father Rick?” her mother asked.
Aleecia’s face was burning. “No!” she cried. “I meant Kyle. I just don’t know how I feel about him anymore.”
“You’ll know when you see him,” her mother said. “Listen to your heart.”
Aleecia went into her room and logged onto Facebook.
Aleecia: I’m not sure I love Kyle anymore
Luciana: Is there someone else?
Shawna: He’s been away all semester, right? Maybe you just need some 1-on-1 time
Aleecia: That’s what my mom says. But I’m not sure I want to see him
Luciana: Like I said! Is there someone else?
Aleecia: I shouldn’t be saying this
Isabella: There IS someone else!
Aleecia: Father Rick, my minister—well he’s the assistant minister
Shawna: How old is he?
Aleecia: I don’t know. 28, 29?
Jasmine: Is he hot?
Aleecia: Yesssss
Isabella: Watch out Kyle! You have competition
Aleecia: Maybe Kyle doesn’t love me anymore?
Luciana: You’ll find out soon enough—give us an update, girl!
Aleecia sat on the front porch in the wicker chair, anxiously rocking back and forth. She closed her eyes and prayed.
Dear God, please let me feel love for this man who is the father of my beloved child. Father Rick had repeatedly referred to her baby as her beloved child. It felt good when he said that.
When Kyle pulled into the driveway and stepped out of the car, she knew right away. She admired his animal grace, his handsome physique, and his flashing smile. But she knew she didn’t love him the way she had come to love Jesus and Father Rick. A sense of peace washed over her. She was happy to welcome him into her home but she knew that she no longer wanted to be with him.
The next day, when Kyle announced he was taking Dwayne back to Tallahassee, Aleecia was so relieved. She wanted this to be the final goodbye, but she didn’t have the courage to speak her mind. Let’s let some time pass and we’ll see, she thought.
TWENTY-SIX
Aleecia
* * *
AFTER THE VISIT IN DECEMBER, KYLE’S TEXTS ARRIVED less frequently. He sent an emoji kiss on New Year’s Eve and an emoji rose on Valentine’s Day, and then nothing.
Aleecia’s due date came and went. Dr. Janec had warned her that her weight gain (she hated the word obesity) would create complications in labor and that she would most likely require a C-section. They scheduled the operation for April first: April Fools’ Day. Aleecia took delight in that.
She texted Kyle: The baby is coming on April 1. Do you want to be here? Without waiting for a response she texted the same message to Father Rick.
Father Rick responded immediately: Of course!
Aleecia regretted texting Kyle. What if he also wanted to be here, how would she handle that? She took comfort in the knowledge that Father Rick would handle the situation gracefully. And besides, she would be sedated the whole time.
It took a couple of days for Kyle to reply: Sorry babe, I can’t miss class. Send pix!
That sealed it. In Aleecia’s mind, Kyle was no longer the father of her child. She dreamed that Father Rick would marry her and adopt her daughter. Kyle would be forever in the rear-view mirror.
Aleecia’s mother woke up at her usual hour on April first and then rolled over and nodded off, relieved that she didn’t have to report to work today. They were supposed to be at the hospital at seven. At six, she knocked tentatively on Aleecia’s door.
“Aleecia?” her mom whispered.
Aleecia moaned and rolled over.
“Aleecia?” her mom spoke a little louder. “We need to go.”
“Go?” Aleecia sounded confused.
“To the hospital,” her mom said. “Aleecia, wake up!”
Aleecia lay on a gurney in a hallway, wearing only a paper gown and cap, covered with a thin blanket, prepped for surgery. Nurses and interns whizzed by, gossiping and flirting. Aleecia became more and more anxious and she was shivering, not so much from cold but from sheer terror. Did these people know what they were doing?
Someone noticed the tears streaking down her face and wheeled her gurney into an operating suite.
Dr. Janec appeared at the foot of Aleecia’s gurney. The deep circles under her eyes were magnified by her glasses. She looked weary and agitated. Aleecia was petrified by the idea of being sliced open by an angry, sleep-deprived doctor. She became convinced that she was going to die here in this room.
“Aleecia, what is the problem?” Dr. Janec demanded.
“I’m scared,” Aleecia whispered.
An anesthesiologist intern spoke from behind Aleecia’s head. “I could just put her under.”
Aleecia cried out. “No!”
Dr. Janec glared at the intern. “No,” she said.
“Aleecia,” Dr. Janec said. “This baby needs to be born. Are you going to help us?”
“Yes,” Aleecia whispered.
“Good girl,” Dr. Janec said. “Now Dr. Leavitt is going to put you to sleep. When you wake up, your baby—do you have a name?”
“No,” Aleecia mumbled. “Maybe Mia?”
“What did you say?” Dr. Janec asked. “Mia?”
“Yes, Mia,” Aleecia said.
“It’s time for Mia to be born,” Dr. Janec said. “Now be a good girl and let Dr. Leavitt put you to sleep. When you wake up, Mia will be here. Will you stop crying now?”
Aleecia nodded, still weeping.
When Aleecia came to, she was in a hospital room, alone. The door was open and she could see nurses walking in the hallway.
“Hello?” Aleecia called out.
A nurse appeared in the doorway. “Are we awake, Mommy?” the nurse asked. “Would you like me to bring Mia in? Your parents would like to come in as well.”
“My parents?” For a second Aleecia thought that the father she never knew had come to meet his grandchild. Then she heard Father Rick’s voice in the hallway.
“You came!” Aleecia cried as Father Rick entered the room.
“How are you feeling?” Aleecia’s mom asked.
Aleecia tried to sit up and then yelped in pain.
The nurse rushed in, holding Mia. “I told you not to move. You call me first,” the nurse said. “Here, Ms. Rivera, why don’t you sit in the chair and hold Mia?” Aleecia’s mom sat down on the recliner, and the nurse gingerly handed her the baby. Aleecia’s mom made cooing noises and breathed in the baby’s scent.
“Now Aleecia,” the nurse said. “You just relax and I’ll adjust the bed. Your incision is going to be quite ten
der for several weeks.”
Father Rick approached the bed and took Aleecia’s hand in his.
“Have you been here long?” Aleecia asked.
“I came when your mom texted me,” Father Rick said. “We sat together in the waiting room. It didn’t take long—maybe an hour.”
“Can I hold my baby?” Aleecia asked.
“Not until the sedation has worn off,” the nurse said. “I’ll check on you in a bit.”
“Can I hold her?” Father Rick asked. He took Mia from Aleecia’s mom and carried her to Aleecia’s bed. He leaned in close and said, “Look at this beautiful little soul.”
Aleecia was overcome. She had never been this close to Father Rick before. She could feel his warm breath and smell his sweet musk. And the way he tenderly held Mia, she just knew that he loved her and that he would be there for her and Mia, forever.
