The Cowboy's Babygirl: A dark cowboy romance

by Lee Savino

  I’d thought it was bad when Victoria left. But this was so much worse. I felt like my sternum was being ripped wide open, and my heart was being torn out. I was in love with my little one, and she was leaving me. My whole world was crashing down on my head.

  I charged out of the house, snatched up a saddle and bridle from the tack room, and strode over to the stables. My thoughts crackled in my head like an electrical storm—hectic and unpredictable. I barely felt in control of my own body.

  When I opened the door to Rex’s stall, he was calm. He’d gotten used to me. I’d made good progress with his training lately, and had even gotten him to accept the saddle on his back. Next session, I’d been planning to throw my weight over him, too. But now, when I slipped the rope bridle over his head, led him out of the stall, and fastened the saddle over his back, I mounted him.

  Right away, he reared up with a squeal of surprise. But I clung on. He reared and bucked and screamed, trying everything to get me off. But I kicked him in the ribs and rode on out of the yard. He was barely ready for riding yet. It was madness. But right now, I didn’t care about anything.

  He bolted for the wide open plains, and I clung tight, wanting to obliterate every single thing in the world.

  Carrie

  I rushed out the house after Steele. But it was too late, he’d already gone. And Rex’s stall was empty. Steele had ridden off on that crazy horse! I started to run after him, across the fields, but it was madness. They were galloping full pelt, already a speck in the distance.

  I returned to the yard and sat on the steps, staring at the spot where Steele had disappeared from view, terror clutching at every muscle in my body.

  He shouldn’t be riding Rex. He knew the horse wasn’t ready. And he was only doing it because of me. My heart was breaking. I thought I’d cried myself out, but I discovered I had more tears. Steele hated me now, and I didn’t blame him. We’d said forever to each other, and now I was leaving.

  Going back to Texas was the dead last thing I wanted to do. The thought of seeing Enzo again—full of vengeance—made me sick to my stomach. And my mom—I knew I had to take care of her. She couldn’t help that she was weak and had never learned good morals. But right now, I hated her so bad. I knew she was using Destiny to get at me. And it was working. There was no way I could refuse to take care of my baby cousin. I had to keep her safe from Enzo.

  All this happiness. All this love here with Steele. It already felt like a beautiful dream, fading away.

  I’d never really believed Steele and I would last, never believed I deserved a guy like him. And the fact was, I didn’t. Because my background was a part of me.

  Steele was so, so mad at me. This was nothing like when I did something bad and he punished me. The hurt in his eyes had destroyed me. I wanted to take it all back. Take back every hurtful word. Toss my phone away, and forget about everything except for Steele and me, and our beautiful life together.

  He’d never forgive me for this, and I didn’t blame him. He’d promised me the world, and I was rejecting it in favor of my miserable trashy life in Texas. That fucking Enzo. For the first time, I wished I really had killed him. It would have saved my mom and Destiny, and maybe I could have spent the rest of my life hiding out here with Steele.

  No. That was crazy. Because that would have meant Steele would be guilty of aiding and abetting a fugitive. I had to go back and face my own destiny. I got up and paced around the yard, worriedly. Steele had been gone at least an hour. I was so terrified for him on his crazy horse.

  I didn’t know what to do. Part of me thought it would be better if I just grabbed my stuff and left before he got back. But I’d be walking, and he’d catch up to me, and I couldn’t leave until I knew he was safe.

  I forced myself to get started on the chores. No reason to leave the horses in their own mess because my world was falling apart.

  I was halfway through cleaning out Moonshine’s stall when I heard the pounding of hooves in the distance. My heart leaped.

  There—galloping across the snowy field—was Steele. He was coming in fast. I rushed toward him.

  But his face was like thunder, and there was mud all down his right side. He’d had a fall. I felt sick.

  “Are you hurt?” I demanded, gut churning.

  Rex looked exhausted, drenched in sweat, his muzzle covered in foam, and mud splattered over his belly. Steele dismounted, hauled off the saddle, and tied him to the fence.

  “I’m fine,” he grunted. He wouldn’t even look at me. He hated my guts. My heart broke all over again.

  He snatched the rake from me and started mucking out Rex’s stable with violent, careless movements. I stood behind him, watching, wringing my hands.

  “I’ll take you to the airport, put you on the plane,” he said in a hard tone, over his shoulder.

  “B-but…” I stammered.

  “Go find out when the next flight is. I’ll give you money for it. And go get your stuff together.”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again, tears springing to my eyes once more.

  “I’m sorry,” I whimpered to Steele’s broad back. But even his back seemed to hate me.

  I couldn’t stand the sight of him being so furious with me anymore.

  I turned tail, and ran back into the house.

  I’d hoped I could spend a little more time at the ranch, getting used to the idea that I was leaving. But Steele wanted me gone ASAP. I guessed I couldn’t blame him, but that didn’t stop it hurting.

  With trembling fingers, I went on the Internet and found a flight that left from Vancouver late that afternoon. It meant a night in the airport, but whatever. I wasn’t about to hang around where I wasn’t wanted. When Steele burst into the house, slamming the door shut behind him, I told him stutteringly about the flight, and he grabbed the laptop and bought me a ticket.

  “Can I say goodbye to the animals?” I asked.

  “Whatever you want,” was his grunted reply.

  I stopped by the cowshed and stroked Daisy. I’d come to enjoy the peaceful rhythm of milking her every day.

  Then I went to the stalls and said goodbye to the horses. I was sad to see each one for the last time, but when I went to Megan’s stall and pressed my face against her soft nose, yet more tears leaked from my eyes. I was going to miss her so badly. Steele had said we were bonding, and he’d mentioned that maybe I could take her to some local shows in the spring. Well, that wasn’t going to happen now. This life wasn’t mine any more. I was going to have to get used to junk food and cigarette smoke and blaring TV again.

  And no Steele.

  The thought echoed around my insides like an endlessly ricocheting ball, hollowing me out with each agonizing blow.

  I hardly put anything in my backpack. I couldn’t stand to take all my beautiful clothes out of the closet—all the things Steele had bought for me with such care. Instead, I grabbed the couple of scrappy things I’d been wearing when I arrived, and a few toiletries.

  Steele came into the mudroom when I was still deliberating over whether to bring the cowboy boots with me. “Ready?” he demanded.

  There was such coldness and brutality in his eyes, I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. “Guess so,” I replied.

  Before I knew it—long before I was ready—we were in the truck, and Steele was driving me away from my home for the last time. He wouldn’t look at me, and I couldn’t stand to see him like this, either. His cold fury was unbearable. But I deserved every drop of it.

  The sky was yellowish, and the landscape was blanketed in snow, and it all looked desolate and alien. I had a sense that I was leaving behind every part of myself that mattered, as if I was splitting in two, and the good parts of me were staying at the ranch like a ghost, while my old self was returning to Texas.

  Three hours later, Steele pulled up in front of the departures sign at the airport.

  “Here you go,” he said.

  I turned my head to look at him, and was stunned by
the anguish in his eyes.

  “You know I have to do this, Steele,” I told him. “But I really don’t want to.”

  “You made your choice, Carrie,” he replied brusquely.

  “Maybe I can come back one day—” I started to say, then realized that was a shitty thing to say. He was hardly going to welcome me back with open arms when I’d left him like this.

  He held out his arms. “Come here.”

  I fell into him with a gasp, but his embrace was stiff and cold.

  And he drew back fast. I choked up again as I turned to open the door and climbed out of the truck.

  I couldn’t bear to look back, but I heard him drive away before I’d even entered the revolving doors of the airport.

  I’d never been on a plane before, but I was too miserable to be nervous about the unfamiliar process. The border officer asked why I didn’t have an entry stamp. I played dumb and said I’d come in on a bus tour and they must have forgotten to stamp it. She scanned my red eyes and trembling mouth, and her eyes turned soft. She told me to be more careful next time.

  I trudged to the departure gate, and before I knew it, I was up in the sky, looking down on endless white fields. My eyes were stinging but dry. I felt flat, deadened with loss.

  I’d been messaging with Destiny, and she was saying what a dick Enzo was being. Apparently, he was more full of himself than ever since he’d gotten back from hospital, because he really believed he was some kind of hero. I didn’t want to ask her if he was being sleazy and risk putting the idea in her head. But I could imagine those piggy eyes of his gawking at her. She was pretty and innocent, and Enzo just loved breaking things. The sooner I got back there, the better—I knew that.

  But it didn’t make me feel any better about Steele.

  I arrived in Denver airport two-and-a-half hours later. Steele had given me a wad of cash, even though I’d tried to refuse it. My wages for five hours’ work per day since I’d been at the ranch, he told me. And somehow that hurt as much as anything. He was trying to act like I was an employee who’d come to the end of her employment. Maybe that was how he’d think about me in future. He’d told me to get a hotel at the airport. But I didn’t even go look. I didn’t want to be comfortable. Instead, I got chicken nuggets, then I lay down on a bench in the quietest spot I could find, and prepared to wait out the hours until my connecting flight took off.

  It was a long, miserable night. The lighting was bright, the air-con was freezing, and there were noisy announcements all the time. I tossed and turned on the bench, guilty and sad and missing Steele like crazy. Wishing more than anything that I was back in bed with him.

  My first night without him. In all these weeks. I wondered if he was asleep, too. If my empty spot in the bed was an insult to him.

  I’d done a terrible thing. We’d made a promise to each other—he was my daddy, and he’d made me his little one, and I’d thrown it away like it was nothing.

  Every part of me, every nerve in my body, called out to him. I wished I could take it all back. Things had seemed so simple—just the two of us and the animals, and the ranch our whole world. But all the time, I’d been scared to trust our happiness, to fully let down my guard. I’d always been worried that Enzo would pop up again and ruin things. And now it had happened.

  I could deal with Enzo; I’d have to. But in the process, I’d hurt my daddy. Every time I thought of the confusion and anger in Steele’s face yesterday, my gut churned and I felt like I was going to be sick.

  What we’d had was so special. Once in a lifetime. I’d had one good thing in life—I’d been lucky enough to find the best man, and I’d blown it. Whatever happened, he’d never let me come back now.

  Chapter 19

  Carrie

  Just after seven a.m., my phone alarm went. I needed to get up and take myself to my departure gate. I hauled myself up off the bench and stretched my sore muscles. My eyes were gritty, my head was pounding, and my mouth felt like sandpaper. I grabbed my water bottle from my bag and had a swig. As I straightened up again, I saw a tall cowboy was walking toward me from the far end of the building. It was a mirage created by my sleep-deprived brain.

  I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my vision.

  The figure was still there—tall, broad-shouldered, and wearing a black cowboy hat—striding purposefully toward me.

  It can’t be.

  Could it?

  My broken brain was playing tricks on me. I sat paralyzed, staring stupidly as he approached.

  Then my heart began to flutter like a bird taking flight.

  “Steele?” I croaked as a familiar, much-loved face came into view. Unmistakable.

  He walked faster, swept in, and caught me up in his arms.

  “I’m here, babygirl,” he said. He lifted me right off the ground. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, clinging to him like a child.

  I gave a big shudder, then my whole body relaxed. That feeling of home washed through me again.

  “When did you… What happened—” I stuttered.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said into my neck.

  “Wh-why?”

  “Carrie, I should never have put you in that position—made you feel like you had to choose. I should’ve respected your relationship with your family.”

  He released his hold on my legs, and my feet slid down to the ground. I let him guide me to the bench and we sat down together. There were dark shadows under his eyes and tense lines around his mouth. He was exhausted.

  I shook my head, confused. “I don’t understand—”

  “Let me finish, Carrie,” he continued, squeezing my hand. “Of course you want to take care of your cousin. It’s because you’re a good-hearted person, which is one of the things I love most about you. I shouldn’t have seen it as a rejection of me. I was just…” He broke off and stared up at the ceiling. “I’ve been scared of losing you. This whole time. So when this situation came up, it just seemed like confirmation.”

  I blinked. “But why were you scared? I’m the lucky one to be with you.”

  He shook his head, a smile playing at his lips. He raised my hand and kissed it. “Carrie, you’re a very special person. You have no idea. But I always thought you might run off one day, like a wild pony. You might wake up one morning and realize you don’t enjoy our dynamic anymore.”

  I stared at him in amazement. “Are you kidding? Being with you, as my daddy, makes me the person I was always supposed to be.”

  He sighed. Then he looked at his watch. “I’ve been a fool. But I’m going to fix that now. I still don’t want you going to Texas, Carrie. It’s dangerous. So I’m going to go instead. Deal with Enzo, once and for all.”

  I gaped. “But how?”

  He got that serious look on his face again—his Daddy look, as I called it to myself. “I need you not to ask me anything about this. I just need you to trust that I’m going to act in your best interest, and in the best interests of your mom and your cousin. Can you do that?”

  “I-I don’t know,” I stuttered, my thoughts spinning. Can I go back to the ranch and leave Steele to deal with my family? “Why don’t I come with you?” I said instead.

  “Because I’ll be better off by myself,” he said gently.

  “Enzo has guns,” I said.

  “Where?”

  “Usually shoved down the side of his pants.”

  “Any others? Does he have an ankle holster?”

  “Not that I’ve ever seen. He’s a slob. He’s too lazy to prepare himself like that.”

  “Does your mom keep guns in the house?”

  “No. She hates them, actually. Guess she’s had too many dickweed boyfriends waving them around over the years.”

  “Okay, good.”

  “Steele, I’m worried about you doing this.” I clutched his arms. I had no idea what he was planning, and I was scared. I knew Steele was way tougher and smarter than any wannabe gangster. But I also knew he wasn’t used to guys like Enzo—loser gangsters
who didn’t hold their own lives in high regard, never mind anyone else’s.

  “Carrie, I need you to trust and to not worry about me. I used to be in the military. I know what I’m doing.” He pulled something out of his back pocket. “I’ve got you a ticket back to Vancouver.” He thrust it at me. “Go back to the ranch and stay safe, and I’ll be back in a few days.”

  I stared at the ticket blankly. “I don’t like this.”

  “It’s the only way. I’ll be safe, and no one’s going to get hurt. I promise.”

  I gazed into his eyes—eyes that were full of love and care for me. I did trust him. And this was the only option that didn’t involve me playing right into Enzo’s hands.

  “Okay,” I said reluctantly.

  He broke into a smile. “You’ll go back to the ranch?”

  I nodded. “Yes, I will. And this time, I’m not leaving.”

  “That’s the best news.” There was a catch in his voice, and he hugged me tight. “I have to go get this flight.”

  I followed him to the gate, and he gave me one final hug and kissed my forehead, then my lips. “Take a taxi to the ranch. I’ll be back before you know it.” His mouth dipped to my ear. “Daddy’s taking care of things.”

  Shivers ran through me, and I nodded.

  I watched until he disappeared, giddy with the emotions hurtling through me: shock, relief, and worry. It had all happened so fast; my brain was still catching up.

  And my flight was boarding right now, from the other end of the airport.

  My legs were wobbly, but I started to run.

  The snow was heavy on the roads as the taxi brought me back to the ranch. It had only been twenty-four hours since I’d left, but I felt like I was returning to a long-lost friend. And as we turned onto the dirt road that led to the ranch, and Steele’s land came into view, my heart gave a ridiculous leap. I was back again. I could stay here with my daddy, and I didn’t have to go back to Texas. I rushed up the steps of the decking and retrieved the key from behind the bench, where he’d left it for me. I wished so badly that Steele was here, too. But I had to trust that he was taking care of himself. Doing something to help me.