He countered by parting my legs with his knee, the material of his jeans soft against the bare skin that my skirt exposed. Within seconds my blouse had become untucked and his fingers traveled under the fabric. I felt a rush of air against my breasts as the hook to my bra gave way, then his hands were there instead. I was positive that he could feel my heart pounding, could feel how my body reacted to him, but I didn’t care.
My hands dropped from his hair to his shoulders, then to the buttons on his shirt. Blindly I worked them open until I felt the skin beneath. I pulled my lips away from his to trail kisses down his neck, his chest, until I found my way to his jeans. Undeterred, my hands undid his fly just as his reached under my skirt and tugged at my underwear.
“Where’s your bedroom?” he asked between labored breaths.
“At the end of the hall,” I gasped.
It took us a while to get there, as we didn’t stop groping or kissing during our trek. We spun ourselves down the hall, bumping into one wall or the other as we made our way. More or less fully clothed, we tumbled inside the master bedroom. Matthew reached his hand out and searched, unseeing, for the light switch. Soon the room was bathed in light. Coming from the shadows of the hallway, it took a moment before my eyes adjusted.
He broke contact with my mouth long enough to hold me at arm’s length. Those ocean blue eyes seemed to search my soul even as they ogled me. “You’re sure?” he asked simply.
I nodded mutely.
“I didn’t bring anything,” he admitted.
My composure slowly returned as I realized what he was alluding to. When I found my voice, I assured him that I already had things taken care of. With the technicalities out of the way, we continued where we left off.
Insecurity didn’t rear its head until we stood before each other, totally undressed. Reflexively, my arms went up to cross over my breasts, realizing that as soon as I did that, I left another area completely visible. Matthew, on the other hand, seemed entirely at ease in front of me with everything on display. Of course, when someone was that perfect was it really that difficult to be comfortable flaunting it?
“Relax,” he whispered, drawing near me. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”
“So are you,” I breathed, “so much better than I imagined.”
“You dreamed about me?” He sounded somewhat surprised.
“It’s been a long five months.”
Then there was no longer time for words, only making up for lost opportunities.
Chapter Fourteen
I slept. It really shouldn’t have been that earth-shattering of a revelation, but given my insomnia during most of my life in Fort Wayne, it was heavenly to wake up the next morning refreshed. Of course, that might have had everything to do with having someone to share the morning with.
So as the first rays of sunshine peaked through my window, I laid against Matthew’s chest, our naked bodies entangled in one another. He had held me all night. Not in a possessive way, but as if he couldn’t stand to be without me for even a split second. As if now that we had broken through all of the confusion of the former months, he couldn’t bear to let me go again.
As though he loved me as much as I knew I loved him.
He slept soundly still, his breathing deep and even. I closed my eyes and relished the sound of his heartbeat, slow and strong in my ear. I had the feeling that I could listen to it for hours and it would never get old to have him that close to me. That I would never tire of feeling the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek, or the smell of his skin intermingled with the scent of exertion and myself.
I basked in the gloriousness of it all for a few moments, even when my bladder gave me indications that it was about to revolt. I didn’t want to wake him during the process of getting up as much I wanted to stay in the moment. Eventually, his breathing sped up and his heart rate increased, and I could tell he was awake but trying to stay quiet on my behalf.
“Good morning,” I said softly.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he responded.
My body filled with warmth at the return of my nickname. If that wasn’t a sure sign that all was right in the world, I didn’t know what was. I squeezed him tightly, a favor which he returned, and I remembered that I needed to get up. Now.
I excused myself reluctantly, blushing when I realized that he watched my naked self retreat to the bathroom. I took care of business quickly, eager to return to him. A quick glance of my reflection in the mirror confirmed what I already knew. I was happy. My hair looked like it had been through a tornado, and yesterday’s makeup was still partially visible, but I was happy.
I heard Matthew’s cell ring and him rustling around amongst the pile of clothes on the floor to find it. I cursed my bad luck and went back out to help him. By the time I had rounded the bed, he had located his jeans and fished the phone out of his pocket. He stared at the display briefly prior to answering, then placed it to his ear.
“Hello, sunshine,” he greeted to the caller.
It was Blake; I could tell by how he answered. I released a breath of relief, unnecessary jealousy flooding out of my body. For just a fleeting moment, I had been afraid it was some other girl on the line. As much as he had every right to do what he pleased, at least up until now, the thought of him being with someone else made my stomach turn.
I could hear Blake’s voice on the other line, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. From Matthew’s expression, she was reading him the riot act. He stood there, buck naked, rolling his eyes as I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.
“We’re having dinner tonight at your place, love,” he said when he was able to get a word in. “Why would I be rude for not being at my house when you showed up unexpectedly for breakfast?”
He paused and held the phone away from his ear as she responded.
“No, I didn’t make it home last night,” he continued with a twinkle in his eye as he looked in my general direction. “No, if I needed you to come and bail me out of jail, do you really think I’d be talking to you on my cell? That was a stupid thing to say, even for you.”
Another pause as she retaliated. I had missed their back and forth banter, how they gave each other as good as they got. I missed them and I had been the one who had deprived myself of it.
“Yes, dear,” he said with a grin, “I am well aware of what I’m doing. It’s nothing that you haven’t done many, many times before.”
This time, I clearly heard a “fuck you” on the other end.
“Well, I gotta go. See you tonight. Love you.”
He hung up before she could fire off a comeback. Just as he opened his mouth to make some sort of a witty comment, my cell rang from somewhere down the hall. I hadn’t brought it into my bedroom with me and set it on my charging dock like normal last night; I had been focused on other things. Remembering that it was probably still in my purse, I took off in search of it, Matthew trailing behind me.
Of course, we were both still naked and my curtains were wide open, so grabbing my phone amounted to running through somewhat of an obstacle course. I got down on my hands and knees, crawling to my purse in its position on the floor.
Thankfully, the phone was still ringing when I got to it. I knew it would be Gracie and if I didn’t answer, the next couple hours I’d be inundated with texts asking me if I was okay. Or even worse, she’d hop in her car and hightail it to my house out of fear.
“Hello?” I answered, noticeably out of breath.
“Lauren? Were you still in bed?” Gracie asked, confused. Instantly, she knew something was up.
“Maybe,” I drawled, unable to keep the giggle out of my voice. If she only knew I was crouched down completely naked in my living room with an equally naked Matthew lurking in the hall, she would flip out. In a good way, of course, but I didn’t have time to deal with her twenty questions right now. Plus, it wasn’t a conversation that I really wanted to have right in front of the subject matter, either.
“Are you okay?�
� Concern marked her voice. Again, a typical reaction coming from her.
“Gracie,” I said conspiratorially, “I am better than okay. Today, I am spectacular.”
I peeked over at Matthew and grinned.
“I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise. But I’m a little bit busy right now.”
“Lauren,” she whined, “what’s going on?”
“Later. I promise. Gotta go. Bye.”
I hung up the phone, cutting off whatever Gracie was saying in the process and collapsed on the carpet in a fit of laughter. It felt so good to just lay there and giggle, so I enjoyed the moment and took it for what it was worth. Matthew also saw the humor in it and eventually joined in beside me. When the laughter subsided, I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to him.
“She means well,” I stated, “but sometimes it’s annoying.”
“So you’ve been on the same kind of suicide watch since January?”
The eyes that looked back at me now were devoid of all humor. His word choice sobered me up the rest of the way and I nodded back at him. A pang of guilt hit me just briefly as I wondered how bad of shape he had been in these past few months. Quickly, I debated with myself if he would ever have considered such a thing. If he had and I’d been the cause of it, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.
“Gracie never outwardly said it, but I think she was scared a couple of times. I eventually began to hide how depressed I was so she wouldn’t worry so much.”
“I know what you mean.” He sat up and offered me his hand to help me up as well. “It was a rough few months. Like nothing I’d ever experienced before.”
He pulled me to my feet and we went back to the bedroom to get dressed. It wasn’t like we could walk around in our birthday suits all day. Or could we? As I slipped on a t-shirt and sweats, his last words repeated in my head. Had he really meant what he said? That losing me, even momentarily, had been worse than being in jail? Or getting disowned by his parents?
Obviously, he only had the clothes that he had come with, and once he had put them back on I didn’t have the nerve to question him further about it. His smile had returned as he ran his hands through his tousled hair, and we were pretending that nothing dark had been mentioned. I was okay with that, because the alternative was very unpleasant to consider.
“So, do I get the official tour of your house now?” he asked with a wink. “I’m familiar with one room in particular already, but I haven’t seen the rest.”
I dutifully traipsed him around the house, giving him the quick and dirty walk through. Even though it was brand-new, it was glaringly sub-par to the home that he lived in. I knew he wouldn’t care, but I felt silly acting like it was the best thing since sliced bread. It was functional and a huge upgrade from the hotel where I had been, but it was no showpiece. Besides, when he had given me the tour of his own home, he hadn’t pointed out all the high end features that Blake had installed. She had been the one to talk it up, what with the double ovens and the huge dining room. He had been refreshingly nonchalant about the whole thing.
My tour ended in the kitchen. I knew this was the point where I was supposed to ask him if I could make him breakfast, but my refrigerator was embarrassingly empty. I could, however, make him coffee, so I set to work brewing a pot.
“I wasn’t expecting company and I don’t usually cook for myself, so I’m sorry that there’s no fancy breakfast menu today,” I quipped as I moved around the kitchen.
He laughed. It was a wonderful sound, one that rang in my ears like music.
“You’re forgetting that I’m like the biggest bachelor ever. I’m not used to eggs and bacon for breakfast every morning. Or any morning, for that matter. Coffee’s good. I was thinking that we could get ready and then go out for lunch, if that’s not a problem.”
“No, that sounds good to me.”
Actually, that sounded better than good. I had been wondering how to broach the subject of what came next for us, and my heart accelerated at my inclusion in his plans for the day.
“So, you and Blake are having dinner tonight?” I asked innocently as I poured him a cup of coffee. I mentally ticked off the hours that he would be in my presence as I slid his mug across the counter.
He grabbed it effortlessly and took a sip as he contemplated what he wanted to say. I could almost see the wheels spinning in his head. I had a feeling that I knew what he was going to say, so when he voiced it I was already shaking my head back and forth.
“I think you should come with me.”
“No,” I disagreed, “I think it would be a bad idea. To just spring it on her like that.”
“So you’re ashamed of what happened?” he asked over his drink. With the way his eyes glinted, I could tell he was merely giving me a hard time.
“It’s not that,” I denied anyway. “It’s just that we have a lot of baggage between the two of us to sort through. I’m not sure that she’d appreciate the ninja intervention.”
“She’ll be fine. And you will be, too.” The last part was undoubtedly added for my benefit, courtesy of his incredibly perceptive mind. He hadn’t lost his ability to read me like an open book when it came to my feelings about anything other than him.
“Matthew,” I protested in vain, following him out to my couch where we both sat down. I knew I wasn’t winning this battle; I would be going tonight.
“You’ll be fine,” he repeated. “She’s not going to bite your head off about anything. She already knows that I spent the night with someone; it’ll put her mind at ease that it was with you.”
“Because you have a habit of picking up strange women in random places and going home with them? Is it in your DNA or something?” My tone was light; I’d meant it as a joke, but something flashed across his features briefly that made me regret it.
“I’m not a serial one night stander like my sister, but there have been a few,” he admitted with a sigh. “Okay, several.”
“I’m not mad,” I said earnestly. “It’s not like I’m expecting you to make notches in your bedpost for all your conquests. I don’t need a number. I don’t even want a number.”
“But I’m pretty sure I only need one guess for what number I am for you.”
“And I’m pretty sure you’d be correct.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I’ll need to count anymore.”
It did make me feel better. It also brought heat to my face and tears to my eyes the way he said it so matter-of-factly. He set his coffee down on the table in front of us, then took my mug from my trembling hands and did the same with it.
“Shhh,” he soothed as he wiped the moisture from my eyes with his thumbs. “Now that I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks for waiting for me,” I whispered.
“Any time,” he said, pulling me close.
“I love you,” I said softly.
“I know. And I love you, too.”
He cradled me in his arms and I closed my eyes, finally at peace with my decision and how things had ended up working out.
So this was how it felt to be with your soulmate.
Chapter Fifteen
Matthew waited for me in the living room while I showered and got ready. He insisted that he would be fine sitting on the couch watching television while I was occupied. Part of me wanted to rush through my routine just to be with him, but he had anticipated that coming and cut me off at the pass by telling me to take my time. I supposed that he was used to living with Blake for most of his years. She’d undoubtedly schooled him in the whole patience department.
I had to admit it did feel good to pamper myself. It had been quite a while since I had seriously enjoyed the task of getting ready. The past few months I had simply gone through the motions as not to cause too much concern. But today was different. I wielded my tools of the trade with newfound excitement and energy.
The same held true for picking out my clothes. It was shaping up to be a beautiful la
te spring / early summer day and instead of reaching for a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt as I totally would have expected myself to twenty-four hours prior, I selected a sundress and a pair of strappy sandals.
I fished through my significantly depleted jewelry box to find a pair of earrings and a necklace to complete the outfit. Most of my accessories had come courtesy of Eric and had been returned to him the day I broke up with him. Because he had insisted on me wearing only pieces he had bought for me when we were dating, my supply of costume jewelry was severely limited. I had really only begun building my collection after I had moved out of Blake’s.
I found what I was looking for, my fingers running over the locket that Eric had given me back during the process. Without thinking, I scooped it up in my hand and pried open the clasp. The picture of my parents on their wedding day beamed back at me from one side. The other half remained blank, as intended. Nothing belonged over there.
I snapped the locket shut and placed it in the bottom of the box. A smile formed upon my lips as I realized it didn’t hurt to look at it anymore. For weeks after Eric had dropped it off at Gracie’s, I had broken down in tears when I thought about what it was meant to symbolize. Even though he had presented it on the surface as a peace offering, deep down I wondered if it hadn’t been an attempt to get under my skin. He had to have known that breaking up with him had been a traumatic experience on my part even if it had been the right decision. It wouldn’t surprise me if returning that particular necklace was his form of having the last laugh.
Moving swiftly to my sock drawer, I pulled out the Christmas card from Matthew. My fingers traveled over the handwriting as I read the inscription that had been committed to memory long ago. I propped it up on my dresser and consulted the mirror one final time before heading out to see what he was up to.
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