Survive

by Ashley Shannon

  His mind raced through all the places he had seen his dad at through the years. Once Nolan had gotten his license, Frank had used him as a taxi service. He even got Nolan a cell phone so he could call him at all hours to have him come and pick him up somewhere. More than once Nolan had been spending time with his girlfriend, Sada, when his dad had called.

  “Him again?” She would ask, before nuzzling back into the space between Nolan’s chin and shoulder. Her lips would tickle along his neck, kissing softly, knowing the answer before he spoke.

  “Yeah,” was all he could say.

  Sada always begged him not to go, but Nolan couldn’t do that to Frank.

  “He’s all I got.” Nolan would say while putting on his jacket.

  “You’ve got me,” Sada said softly, before pulling Nolan in for a kiss goodbye.

  In the freezing truck, his breath hanging in the air like mist, Nolan punched his steering wheel. His horn blared, startling a few older ladies out to get their morning coffee.

  He cursed again. This time very loudly.

  “Where are you, Frank?” He didn’t get an answer. Not that he had expected to.

  The clock taunted him, its red numbers reading 7:51 a.m. Nolan had been late so many times that if he was tardy again he wouldn’t be able to graduate. As much as he wanted to go out and look for Frank, that just wasn’t an option right now. Nolan fired up his truck and let her purr for a minute before pulling away from the police station and heading towards the school.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Rion could always tell when her mother was angry with her. Her mother’s southern roots took over and she said things she didn’t normally say, like “y’all”. On this particular Saturday morning, her voice was smothered in a deep Kentucky accent. Cupboards were banging in the kitchen, followed by drawers slamming, and silverware rattling. Rion tried her best to ignore the fit that was happening in the kitchen. She pulled a brush through her long blond hair. The girl that she saw in the mirror in front of her seemed like a stranger to her. Was it really her, with this large, swollen belly? It reminded her of when she was little and would put a balloon under her shirt and pretend she was going to have a baby. Now, she wasn’t pretending. Rion was eight and a half months pregnant. The tattered old Tim McGraw shirt she loved was stretched tight over her stomach. It use to fit her trim frame well, but now it would never be the same. Rion sighed. Nothing would be the same.

  “Some notice would’ve been nice Rion. I ain’t gonna be able to find anyone to watch Emmy and I can’t miss work.” Her mom hollered down the hall.

  “I’m sorry Momma, I didn’t know I was gonna get detention for having to pee.” Rion hollered right back. She took one last glance in the mirror and then headed out of the bathroom.

  Rion could feel her Mother seething as she watched her begin to gather her things. Guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders, but there wasn’t anything she could do. The day before in her fourth-period history class, Rion realized that she wasn’t going to make it through the period without using the bathroom. She raised her hand, but Mrs. DeWitt ignored her. After lowering her hand, Rion tried every trick she knew to hold it. She crossed her legs, thought of anything she could to take her mind off the condition of her bladder, but nothing worked. The usual tricks don’t work when you’ve got a tiny being tap dancing on your bladder.

  She cleared her throat. Mrs. DeWitt didn’t even look in her direction. Her hand shot up in the air again and this time she snapped trying to get her teacher’s attention. Mrs. DeWitt was married with four children, she had to understand what Rion was going through. But that was the problem. Mrs. DeWitt was married and also very active in the town’s Baptist church. The look she gave Rion each day when she came into class was just short of disgust.

  “Mrs. DeWitt,” Rion finally spoke, “may I please use the restroom?”

  By the way Mrs. DeWitt reacted to Rion’s question, you would have thought she was committing a heinous sin right there in the classroom.

  “I am in the middle of my lecture Rion. No, you may not use the restroom. You have time before and after class to take care of those things.” She then turned back to her lecture on the civil war. Rion was left speechless. Her hands began to sweat. The back of her neck began to burn knowing every student was looking at her. How could a woman who clearly knew what her student was going through be so heartless? Did this woman expect Rion to relieve herself right there in front of her fellow students? Unable to hold out any longer and unwilling to give the girls who made fun of her any more ammunition, Rion stood up and collected her things. Without permission, she headed to the bathroom, unwilling to add wetting her pants in front of the class to the already embarrassing display.

  After the run-in with the overzealous teacher, Rion had landed herself in detention. It wasn’t her fault that Mrs. DeWitt was such an uptight Christian that she wouldn’t allow a soon to be an unwed mother to use the school’s facilities. She didn’t understand why her mother couldn’t see that it wasn’t her fault.

  Rion knelt down by her sister Emmy, who was eating a bowl of cereal and watching cartoons. She mussed up her curly blond locks a bit. Emmy looked up at her much older sister and smiled. A pang of regret struck Rion. Emmy often got the short end of the stick in their family and here she was getting it again. It wasn’t fair. Rion didn’t want her sister to be home alone, but she knew things would only be worse for her if she didn’t show up to detention. Graduation was just around the corner. If she kept up with her school work and kept out of trouble, Rion could graduate not long after the baby was born. The poverty statistics for teen moms who didn’t graduate from high school were staggeringly high. She’d read all about it in the books she checked out from the local library. Their mom was an example of how having kids too young could sentence you to a life of food stamps, welfare, jobs without insurance, and the inability to afford a home. While Rion appreciated how hard her mom worked, she wouldn’t let herself follow her mother’s footsteps too closely. She wanted to give her child an incredible life, that didn’t involve her working in a truck stop diner for crappy tips.

  “I’m sorry momma. Maybe you can try Tracey? She’s probably home since she got laid off at the factory. But you’ll probably have to pay her.” Rion pulled on her heavy winter coat.

  “And what exactly am I gonna pay her with?” Her mom leaned against the kitchen counter, checking the reflection of her teeth in a butter knife. She rubbed her finger then rolled her tongue over them, before she looked at Rion.

  There was a twenty dollar bill in Rion’s pants pocket. She retrieved it and sat it on the counter by her mom. It was the only money Rion had. The father of her baby had given it to her to buy something nice. It wasn’t much, but he didn’t make much, and Rion was just glad for the help.

  “It’s all I have.” She said, looking at her mom and hoping this would make the situation better.

  “Where did you get this?” Her mom snapped at her. “Is this from him?” She drew out the word him, so Rion knew that she was talking about her the father of her child. Rion looked sheepishly at her feet. She hadn’t told anyone, not even her own mother who the father was. It wasn’t that she didn’t want people to know who he was and how amazing he was to her, she wanted to tell everyone in her life. But he had asked her not to and she respected that. Rion’s mom had told her over and over that any man who has the sense to get a girl pregnant should have the sense to be responsible for taking care of it. All Rion could do was shake her head. Someday, maybe, they would be together as a family but if she pushed him into it now, that may never happen. Rion was willing to hold out hope and wait for the right time so that her little family could be together.

  “I guess it will have to do.” Her mother sighed, tying her waitressing apron across her hips. Her mother then turned away from her, affectedly dismissing Rion to head out the door.

  The screen door shut with a snap behind Rion. She trudged down the snow covered steps from the front door to the trailer
that she shared with her mother and sister. The wind whipped her hair around her, covering her face and eyes. She pulled her hat down to cover her ears, then tugged at the zipper of her coat. It wouldn’t budge. It was futile to try, Rion hadn’t been able to zip her coat for over a month, but the bitter air caused her to attempt it anyway. The black bubble coat stopped covering Rion’s belly once she had hit the halfway mark of her pregnancy. She pulled it around her best she could, then held it in place with her arms. A coat that always fits, she thought, adding it to the list of things she would make sure her baby had. Rion didn’t want her little one to have to go without as much as she did.

  Meadow Grove had always sounded like the name of a quiet little neighborhood, hidden behind a gate. Rion didn’t think it was a very fitting name for a trailer park. Counting the trailer her family lived in, Meadow Grove had six trailers, all connected by a dusty gravel road. There were no sidewalks, so Rion walked along the road. With each step her feet sunk deep in the snow. The old tennis shoes she wore were soaked through before she made it to the highway. Her mom hadn’t though to buy Rion snow boots and she knew better than to ask. Momma didn’t like when Rion asked for things. Money had been tight for as long as Rion could remember and it always made things worse when Momma had to say no to something they needed. Snow boots would be something to add to her list of things she would remember to always buy her child. Pushing on, Rion passed the sign that read Meadow Grove, the letters faded and the paint peeling. Turning left, she headed to school.

  The Meadow Grove trailer park was located on the edge of Dyersville, a small, sleepy town in northern Iowa. It was quaint and homey, where everyone knew your name and waved when they drove past. The town didn’t boast much, a restaurant, a few businesses along Main Street, and a pharmacy that served ice cream and malts. Rion and her family had moved to Dyersville from Kentucky five years ago. Momma never told her why they moved. They had no family or friends here. She had always wondered if it had to with a guy, but never asked.

  Cars passed casually, even at this early hour, as Rion walked down the side of the highway. She ticked off the days on her fingers, counting how many had to pass before her due date. Dr. Mitchell told Rion that there was only a seven percent chance her baby would come on her due date.

  “I just have this feeling, Doctor, I know that he or she is gonna come on that very day.” Her doctor would smile weakly at the sixteen-year-old girl with the round belly on her table. There was a look of sadness in the doctor’s eyes each time she looked at her. She knew it was the same look that she got from just about everyone in Dyersville when the saw her big belly waddle toward them. ‘Lost cause’ ‘wasted youth’ ‘irresponsible’ were all the things their eyes would say, even if their mouths wouldn’t.

  When Rion found out she was having a baby, the thought that her entire life was going to change was instantly on her mind, but it didn’t scare her. She wanted her life to change. At night she would say her prayers as her grandmother had taught her to do and she would ask god to change her life. She didn’t know when or how it would happen, but when the doctor told her she was pregnant, Rion knew this was her prayers being answered. The thought sound crazy, even to her, which is why she had never spoken it aloud. No one would understand, but as she rubbed her belly without thinking, wondering what her child’s face would look like, she knew, whatever higher power there was, granted her the one thing she needed.

  The sky grew lighter as she walked up the cement walkway to the double doors of the high school. There were only a few lights on and they guided her towards room 106. She felt the cold metal doorknob under her fingers and she turned it. The door came open with a creaking sound.

  All the desks were empty except the teacher’s desk which was occupied Mr. Sales, the high school literature teacher. He had a charming smile and soft green eyes. A lot of the female students thought he looked dreamy, and just then, sitting in a relaxed manner reading, he did look very dreamy to Rion. He glanced up from a book he was reading and smiled. Rion tried to smile back but only managed a look that resembled more of a grimace. She put her head down and walked to a desk. She hadn’t known he was going to be the teacher in charge of detention today. Rion wished she had stayed home to watch her sister.

  “Hello, Rion.” Mr. Sales said, placing a bookmark in his book and closing it. “How are you this morning?”

  “Fine.” Her voice was as quiet as a whisper.

  “That’s good to hear. You forgot to put your cell phone in the basket.”

  Mr. Sales had a rule that every student had to put their cell phone in a basket that sat on the edge of his desk. This kept them from texting during class and not paying attention, or cheating. Rion dug through her pocket and took out her phone. It was a beat up flip phone that had first been her mom’s, but it still worked just fine. She trudged up to the front and dropped in the basket.

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” Mr. Sales said as he returned to her desk. His tone was sugary sweet. Rion’s stomach twisted and turned. She felt like she was going to throw up. The clock read 7:43, so she still had some time before detention started. Rion exited the classroom and headed for the bathroom. She was grateful Mr. Sales didn’t try to keep her from leaving or ask where she was going.

  The mirror showed how pale and clammy her skin looked. She turned the faucet on and splash some cold water on her face. It didn’t fix her stomach issues, but it did make her feel a little better. A small foot pushed against the side of her stomach. Rion’s lips broke out into a grin. When her little one moved or kicked it always made her smile. This time it felt as if her unborn baby was telling her it was going to be okay. She wasn’t alone and they could get through this together.

  “Thanks, baby.” She said, rubbing the side of her belly where the baby had kicked. Walking back to the classroom, Rion wondered if she was going to have a little boy or girl. It didn’t matter to her, but she couldn’t help but wonder. She felt better opening the door to the classroom this time. Thinking about her little one always made her feel better. There was someone else in detention with her now. Nolan must have shown up when she was gone. Rion was much calmer when she took her seat for the second time. She pulled out her own weathered copy of Emma and began to read while she waited for detention to begin.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Drew’s mouth tasted stale. She had brushed her teeth before she left home, but her breath still tasted gross. The very used Tahoe she drove pulled into the parking lot without much leading. Her body was running on autopilot, her mind unavailable to help guide her. It was too busy crawling inside itself to get away from the throbbing headache. Drew felt like someone shoved a knife over and over into her temple every time she looked toward the sun. The over priced sunglasses she had bought at the mall in Dubuque weren’t doing her any good. She rested her head on the steering wheel and tried to block out the sunlight as best she could. The sun had barely risen, but it didn’t matter. Any light caused her head to pound like a college drum line during homecoming week.

  Soft sounds of music played from her radio. The song was one she felt like she knew. Her fingers twisted the nob slightly to turn up the volume.

  Just a minute or two. That’s all I need. She thought to herself as she started to drift away. Drew began to relax, her body giving in to the fatigue that followed a night of too little sleep and too much partying. Without much prodding, she fell asleep.

  Fifteen minutes passed.

  An emergency signal sounded over the radio, jolting Drew awake.

  “There was an attack at Dubuque University early yesterday evening.”

  Drew listened as she checked her reflection in the mirror. Darkness encircled her eyes, causing her to resemble a raccoon. Makeup from yesterday clung to her eyelids but was smeared in the corners. She licked her finger and tried to smudge it back into place.

  “Professor Jeanette Carson attacked a teacher from an area high school. The victim’s name has not been released as of this time. If anyone has
been in contact with Professor Carson the police urge you to reach out to them. She is considered armed and very dangerous. Do not approach her.”

  Drew took a sip from a water bottle sitting on the passenger seat. It was a mixture that her girlfriend, Kimber, had made for her the night before. She would have preferred some water or maybe orange juice, but this would have to do. With a sigh she took one last look at her makeup. It would have to work. She replaced her sunglasses and locked up her truck.

  The story on the radio had been weird, but it soon was forgotten and Drew’s thoughts turn to the night before. She wandered through the dark hallways towards detention. The memories of the evening prior were a bit fuzzy. Some parts were clear and other parts were blurred at the edges. She remembered a bonfire. There were a lot of people there. Paige and Mitch had set it up. Kimber was friends with Paige. Drew couldn’t stand her, but she had to admit that Paige threw some killer parties. That was enough for Drew to put up with the snobby antics of Paige and her friend, Sada.

  Kimber…

  Flashes from the night before swam to the surface of Drew’s mind as she made her way down the hallway. The hurt look on Kimber’s face when Drew’s lips parted from the boy she had kissed. His name was Jo, he was a quiet, nice boy, but a little geeky for Drew’s taste. She hadn’t meant to kiss Jo, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to, but it had happened. Jo leaned in and stole a kiss. It had ended quickly and hadn’t gone any further, but Kimber had seen it and was devastated all the same.

  Drew remembered rushing after her and calling her name. Kimber wouldn’t stop. Drew was stumbling, pushing past the other party goers. Her mind was swimming, her heart racing, but she couldn’t catch up with her girlfriend. Gravel spit out from under the tires of Kimber’s car as she drove away from the party. Drew was left standing alone, tipsy and crying. The rest of the night was gone from her memory. She knew that she had too much to drink and was out too late, and now she had to pay the consequences.