Sweet Fire (Into The Fire Series Book 6)

by J. H. Croix

  Emotion tightened my throat. Swallowing through it, I nodded. “I will. I promise.”

  I was relieved when that answer seemed to satisfy her. I wasn’t lying, it was just that I needed to make it happen. After Rachel spun away, I listened for the sound of the door closing behind her and then I called my mother.

  She answered right away. “Where are you? I can’t find your father.”

  It had been a few weeks since we’d had this happen. Yet, that didn’t make the bite of grief any less sharp. I felt as if I were walking a tightrope between my intellect and emotion as I tried to navigate this process with my mother. Again and again, my emotions threw me off balance. I tried to blink back my tears, but I couldn’t. Gripping the phone tightly, I did my damnedest to keep my voice level as I spoke.

  “I’m on my way home soon, okay? I’ll grab some pizza.”

  It was a good thing I didn’t mind completely abandoning any attempt at cooking. Lately, it felt like take out and quick reheated meals were about the best I could do. I actually liked to cook. I just didn’t feel like I had the time.

  Blessedly, my mother accepted that answer. I ended the call after confirming with her that Em had come home straight after school. Her grasp on some things was loosey-goosey. Yet, when it came to schedules, she didn’t forget the details. Other things like whether or not my dad was actually alive seemed more difficult. Swiping at my tears, I took several shaky breaths. I knew we couldn’t turn back time, but it hurt like hell to witness this shift in her. I felt so helpless, my emotions only layering into that sense of helplessness.

  As I picked up the pizza and then drove home, Jesse was burning in my thoughts. I’d heard his message earlier and instantly felt disappointed. Not because he was doing his job. I knew he needed to do what he needed to do. I was disappointed because I instantly felt the sharp pang of missing him. I’d put him off all weekend, and now he’d be gone for potentially weeks. My worry about Em’s reaction had been lingering in the back of my mind.

  Let’s face it, it wasn’t like I’d had a man around recently. In fact, I hadn’t dated in years. It had been me trying to hold together what was left of our family, and Em certainly hadn’t needed to wonder about me bringing a man into our world. I also had to consider that she hadn’t exactly had a good role model for a relationship between adults. Her father had almost never been around, and her mother had hardly dated.

  How Em might feel about me getting involved with someone was a loaded question under the best of circumstances. These definitely weren’t the best of circumstances.

  Whether she knew Jesse and I had crazy hot sex twice now wasn’t really the point. I didn’t know what we were doing, and I certainly didn’t know if it was smart to keep letting things go in that direction. I definitely had other things I should prioritize, such as Em and my mother and getting a grip on my own emotional state, which was shaky at best these days.

  Yet, simply picking up pizza made me think of Jesse. Thinking of pizza had my mind skipping along to his easy presence around my mother. While it wasn’t unique to him, I supposed it surprised me because he was such a man’s man. He exuded an innate power and relaxed masculinity, so I’d been surprised at his warmth with her.

  I knew perfectly well that Rachel and Janet had a point. The best thing for my mother would be for me to get some help. She was alone too much now. I promised myself as I drove home that I would go see Janet in the morning and make arrangements to go with her to the local nursing home where they had groups for seniors.

  Somehow, that felt less invasive than trying to set up someone to come in our home to take care of her.

  I woke early in the morning, after an only partially restless night of sleep. I’d heard my mom get up around one o’clock and had gotten up to check on her. She’d simply gotten a glass of milk and returned to bed.

  My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I rolled over, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Sleepily tugging the phone off the nightstand, I propped myself up on an elbow and glanced down at the screen. It was a text from Jesse. My heart gave a funny little skip, and I suddenly felt sad and I didn’t know why.

  Hey, actually have a little reception here at the fire camp. We’ll be heading out at least for a few days. By the way, I meant what I said. I’ll miss you.

  I sighed, and my heart squeezed. I hadn’t purposefully ignored his message yesterday. I’d finally replied late last night. Yet I hadn’t had the nerve to tell him I already missed him.

  I felt like a coward.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Charlie

  A few days later, I slipped into a chair at a table in Firehouse Café. Glancing around, I took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. While there were people here, the early crowd during the weekdays wasn’t quite as busy as it would be in another hour or so. Janet came bustling out from behind the counter, carrying my coffee. She slipped into the chair across from me. Flicking her braid off of her shoulder and cocking her head to the side, she slid the coffee over to me.

  “So today then?” she asked.

  “Yup. I thought I’d stop by here first and then head back up to pick up Em for school. Do you wanna ride with me?” I asked.

  Janet nodded. “It’ll be fine,” she said, reaching over to squeeze my hand.

  You’d think I was doing something terrifying when all I was doing was bringing my mom with Janet to her friend’s day groups for seniors. I was just so worried about how Mom would react.

  Janet hurried off to take care of a few things while I sipped my coffee. Once she was ready to go, we walked out to my car, a little hatchback that was still holding up after our long drive all the way from Boston. When we got to the house, Em came barreling out with her backpack. Em knew the plan for the day and was on board. My mom followed her out at a much slower pace with her cane. She was being good about using her walker around the house, but didn’t like maneuvering it outside. She hadn’t argued over using a cane, so I took that as a win. She’d already seen Doc for her follow up and was doing okay as far as her hip.

  Em clambered into the backseat, her eyes widening a bit when she saw Janet, but she didn’t miss a beat. “Hey, Janet, how’s it going?”

  “Pretty good. You ready for school?” Janet asked.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be,” Em replied with a little shrug.

  Em leapt back out of the car to help my mom get in. Once my mom was situated in the back, she looked to Janet, her expression confused. After a moment, recognition dawned in her eyes. “Janet, so good to see you! What are you doing here?”

  I breathed a silent sigh of relief she didn’t seem concerned about Janet’s unexpected presence. “We’re going to visit a friend of mine after we drop Em off at school,” Janet replied.

  I thanked the stars Janet had offered to come along because I knew if it were me, my mom would pester me with questions. With Janet, she simply smiled as if it made prefect sense. We dropped Em off at school and headed over to where Janet directed me. Within minutes, we were there. Simply seeing the place helped me feel more comfortable. Though Willow Brook was small, I certainly didn’t know the location of everything here, and I’d never seen this place.

  Inside my mind, I had turned it into a large, medical looking facility. Instead, we arrived at a medium-sized home, and it seemed as if we were truly visiting a friend. Following Janet’s lead, my mom made her way inside with her cane. The hospital in Diamond Creek had been spot on with their assessment. In Doc Johnson’s follow up this week, he’d reported her minor fracture was almost fully healed. Her mobility was limited, but she didn’t seem to be experiencing too much pain.

  She was being a good sport about it most of the time. If only because she discovered she liked having the support of her walker around the house. I’d gotten four of them for the house—one for each bathroom and one for each floor. That way, she didn’t have to worry if she forgot one anywhere.

  We followed Janet into a side door, which brought us into the kitche
n. It was obvious the home had been renovated with the kitchen updated to a more industrial set-up than the average home would have. Through an archway, the living room was an open and airy space with several small seating areas of chairs and two with tables. At the moment, there appeared to be five or six other elderly people here for the day. A woman with short curly gray hair and bright blue eyes glanced over to us from where she was talking with a woman. She had a warm, motherly feel to her.

  “Janet, good to see you,” she called as she patted the woman on the shoulder and then walked over to us. “So glad you could stop by.”

  My mother looked slightly suspicious, but after glancing from Janet to the woman whom I presumed to be Norma, she stayed quiet.

  Janet looked from my mother to Norma. “Olive, this is Norma.” Her eyes bounced to me as she gestured between us. “And this is Charlie.”

  I didn’t know what Janet had said to Norma before, but she seemed entirely on board, chatting casually as if we were friends visiting. I supposed, in a way, we were.

  Within minutes, Norma had my mother situated over with a group of women who were having tea. A few of them were doing crossword puzzles, another was knitting, and another few were playing cards. A video game on the television in the corner provided a soft hum in the background. When my mother glanced that way curiously, Norma smiled. “Howard’s grandson gave him that game, so he likes to practice,” Norma offered with a chuckle

  My mom was delighted with that. Somehow, Norma gradually incorporated my mother into the card game. Once she was busy, Norma walked us to the door. My worry must’ve shown on my face. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you if anything comes up,” Norma said.

  Janet’s steely, but understanding gaze met mine and gave me the fortitude I needed. “What time should I plan to pick her up?” I asked.

  “She can stay all the way through dinner if you’d like. My schedule rotates. Today happens to be one of my late days, so I’ll be here until eight. We have other staff too because we do have some full-time residents.”

  I absorbed that and felt myself slowly nodding. “Well, if she’s having an okay day, why doesn’t she stay through dinner?”

  “Of course,” Norma replied, her cheeks rounding up with her smile.

  Stepping back over to the table, I leaned over. “Okay, Mom. I need to get to work. Norma said you can stay if you’d like. How’s that sound?”

  Blessedly, my mother looked up, almost distracted. “Of course. You go to work. I’m all set here.”

  Marveling at how smoothly that had gone, I left with Janet. Looking over at her once we got in the car, I took a deep breath and let it out with a heavy sigh. “Thank you. We’ll see how it goes, but I needed that.”

  Janet met my gaze, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners with her smile. “I think it will go just fine.” She paused as if considering her words. “You know, I didn’t say something to you about this just because I’m nosy. I’ll be the first to admit I can be a busybody,” she offered with a little laugh. “But I went through something similar with my mother. As I’m sure you can guess with me, I wanted to take care of everything myself. That wasn’t smart. Not in the long run. Just like a lot of people, my mother struggled with change and new things. I would imagine once she’s adjusted, your mom will enjoy spending time there.”

  “I think you’re right. I guess I just needed, well, maybe more than a nudge. Between you, Rachel, and Holly, the three of you were going to make sure I got some help. I need it, and so does my mom. So thank you again.”

  Janet gave a wave when I dropped her back off at Firehouse Café a few minutes later. I headed into the office with a sense of relief. I spun into a busy day at work and completely forgot my worries for once.

  Jesse danced along the edges of my thoughts, and I wondered how things were going for him. Yet, there was no way to find out, seeing as he was out in the middle of nowhere as far as I knew. I contemplated texting so that if he had a chance to check his phone and was in an area where there was reception, he might get it.

  Before I knew it, I’d pulled my phone out and was texting him.

  I hope you’re OK.

  I started at the screen, wondering if I should just tell him what was circling in my mind and heart. The truth was I missed him. Before the thought had come to a conclusion in my mind, I found my thumbs tapping away. It was only three words. The moment I hit send, I wanted to take it back. Because I didn’t know if now was the time. But it was too late since I’d already hit send. My cheeks hot, I put my phone down and hurried onto my next appointment, wondering if I was crazy.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Charlie

  A week later, I sank into a chair across from Rachel at Wildlands. With a few bumps, my mother’s transition to spending her days at Norma’s place was turning out to be a good choice. It might’ve been the best decision I’d made ever since my life became one giant mess after another.

  Today was one of Norma’s late evenings, and Em was spending the night with a friend. That meant I had time to myself that I hadn’t had in years. I’d been at my wits’ end about what to do with it until Rachel had insisted I come to Wildlands with her.

  Rachel glanced over with a grin, her blue eyes bright. “This is so great. You’re actually doing something social.”

  I grinned and rolled my eyes. “You know, it’s not like I had anything against doing something social. It’s just my life’s been a little nuts.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes in return, glancing up at the waitress who approached our table. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket just then. Rachel ordered a bottle of wine for us while I slipped my phone out, glancing down to see a text from Jesse.

  My pulse lunged, and a smile unfurled from the inside out. I’d had one return text from him since I’d stupidly told him I missed him. I’d tried not to let it bother me, but he hadn’t addressed the fact I’d told him I missed him. I felt childish even worrying about it. Hell, he was fighting a fire in the wilderness, he didn’t need me being all mopey and weird.

  This one made my heart dance. We’re flying home. Should be landing at the station in about a half hour.

  “What’s got you smiling?” Rachel asked after our waitress walked off.

  For a moment, I considered shrugging it off, but I could use her advice. “Jesse’s coming back. Tonight.”

  Rachel grinned widely, a slight gleam entering her eyes. “And he’s texting you about it?”

  My cheeks heated, but I ignored it. “Yes, he is.”

  “So what the hell are you gonna do about it?”

  I’d told her earlier this week over lunch at the office about my unexpected—shall we say encounters?—with Jesse and my mixed feelings. She’d point blank told me I should stop letting my life be an excuse.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, I think you should tell him to meet you here. You have the night to yourself, so you might as well make the best of it.”

  “I still have to pick my mom up at eight.”

  Rachel glanced at her watch and then back to me. “That’s almost four hours away.”

  This happened to be one of the days our office closed at 3 PM. We had two early afternoons like this to accommodate for the two late evenings. Before I had a chance to reply, Holly arrived to join us, bringing along her friend Ella. Within the next few minutes, three other women had joined us. Amelia and Lucy, who owned a construction company together, along with Maisie, whom I actually knew.

  I’d initially met Maisie when she came into my office with her husband Beck after a minor hand injury and then had subsequently learned she was the dispatcher at the station. She often called over to our office to give us a heads up when any of the firefighters were headed our way with minor injuries.

  I’d all but forgotten what it was like to relax and spend time with friends. Though these women were mostly acquaintances, I could see how they could become friends. Rachel and Holly were the two I felt close enough with to call friends
.

  Maisie ended up sitting beside me. I was a little tipsy when she glanced over and smiled. “So, I hear you’re seeing Jesse.”

  Huh?

  This was so out of the blue that I had no idea how to reply. Amelia was sitting across from me beside Lucy. They were quite the contrast in appearance. Amelia was tall with amber hair and eyes. She nearly towered over Lucy who was tiny and petite with blond hair. She looked quite like a fairy. Except for the fact that personality-wise she was anything but. She was sly, sarcastic, and blunt.

  I was surprised when Lucy caught my eyes, a hint of understanding there. “Oh, I forgot. You’re kind of new here. It’s a little hard. Everybody knows everything. This rumor all got started because you guys were at Firehouse Café and apparently Jesse took you and your mother to Bird Fest. It’s been determined, according to the rumor mill, that no man takes a woman and her mother anywhere unless something serious is happening.”

  With my cheeks flaming, I took a gulp of my wine and looked around the table. I started out by sputtering, “He lives right next door, he just offered to help.”

  Holly, who was sitting opposite of me from Maisie, elbowed me and shook her head. “Oh no, he was checking you out the first time I saw him at the hospital with you.”

  I looked to Rachel, almost in desperation because she was my friend. I knew I was blushing, but I didn’t know how to navigate this. Muddling my state was the little thrill that coursed through me.

  Rachel was no help. She merely shrugged and laughed. “Yup. He couldn’t stop staring at your ass.”