Lucky Me

by B. B. Donnelly

“You know it’s true. I need you more than you need me. I need you to get better. I can’t lose you. Please, I beg you, don’t leave me in this world alone. Please, do what they tell you too. I’m not lecturing you; I’m pleading for my life as well as yours.” I say, tears running down my cheeks.

  “Charleigh, I am here.”

  “That’s what I want. I need you to be here. Please, get better for me.”

  “I’m going to rehab, aren’t I?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about you? What’s going to happen when Tim and your mom get back? Who’s going to protect you?” He asks worried.

  “I will.” Asher states from the doorway. I wonder how long he has been standing there.

  “Promise me, bro. Promise me you will help her.” Michael pleads.

  “It’s done.” Asher says, not looking at me.

  I want to say I can take care of myself, but I don’t want Michael worried about me. I want him focused on getting better.

  “See, all will be fine. We just need you to get well.” I repeat.

  “I swear, Charleigh, I’m going to do this. I’m never touching that shit again.”

  “I’m glad. Just remember your mom. It can happen to you too.” He looks away and there is a distant look in his eyes.

  “I can’t believe I did this. I swore I would never be like her. It just…. everything got out of control.” He whispers.

  “It’s okay and it’s not too late.” I whisper back.

  “I love you, Char Char.” He says, squeezing my hand.

  “I love you too, Mikey.” I kiss him on the cheek.

  “I’m going to give you guys some time. I’ll be back.” I tell him. Asher switches me spots and I leave the room. I head down to the waiting area and pour some coffee.

  I check my phone and see a picture from my mom. She is on the beach with Tim and they are showing off their rings. My gut drops. It’s official. Tim is my new stepfather. Fear like I’ve never had before creeps over me.

  I sit down and take some deep breaths. I can’t think about how she has betrayed me. She really did it. She doesn’t love me at all. She is so selfish.

  I push myself up from the seat. I can’t sit here and mope. Michael needs me. I head back to his room but stop when I hear them talking.

  “I’m not attracted to her at all.” Asher says.

  “Come on, man, I see how you look at her.”

  “She is not my type. She’s like an annoying little sister.”

  “Well, you need to protect her from Tim.” Michael insists.

  “I will.”

  “Damn, I really thought you two would end up together.”

  “I’m with Natalie.” Asher says, stabbing me even further in the heart.

  “Dude, come on, she is just a hook up.” Michael says.

  “Look, I’m not interested in Charleigh. I’ll help her out and look after her while you are gone, but nothing will ever happen between us. I’ll never like her like that. She is not even that attractive.” Asher says, pissed. I’m so hurt by his words. How could he?

  “Hey!” Michael says.

  “Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

  “Ash, you need to quit blaming her for what her mom did.” Michael says. What did my mom do and why does he blame me for it?

  “Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

  “She is nothing like her.” Michael says, angrily.

  “Look, let’s just drop it. I will take care of her, but trust me, that’s all.”

  “You are no picnic either.” I say, making my entrance. I’m tired of him bashing me. Guilt crosses his handsome face.

  “Eavesdropping?” He asks.

  “Whatever asshole, like I would ever give you the time of day.” I say and he has the gall to smirk.

  “Seriously, there are some women that will not fall at your feet. Plus, you touched Natalie, definitely not touching you with a ten-foot pole. I don’t want an STD, thank you very much.”

  Michael laughs and Asher rolls his eyes. Asher’s phone rings and he steps out into the hallway.

  “You okay?” Michael asks.

  “I’m fine. Here.” I hand him my phone and show him the picture of my mom and Tim. He swears out loud.

  “Michael, it will be fine. They aren’t coming home until next week. Then I’ll be really careful. If I need anything I can go to Tammy.” I insist.

  “Char, come on tour with us at the end of the year. We need you. You will be eighteen and there is nothing she can do.”

  “I’ll think about it. You need to get better so you can get back out there. Your fans need you.” I say.

  “We have a problem.” Asher says, coming back into the room.

  “That was Liz. We have some contracted appearances that we scheduled. Remember the deal, we do these jobs, and they would let us come back to high school?”

  “Shit. I forgot.” Michael exclaims, swearing more under his breath.

  “Yeah, well, they didn’t. We have to make an appearance on some radio shows and podcasts which I can cover, but the performances….”

  “Charleigh can step in.” Michael says.

  “What?” Asher and I say in unison.

  “Sure, she knows all the songs. Hell, she wrote them, and she can sing. Besides, it should have been her the whole time.” He says, closing his eyes.

  “Michael…. I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. I need you to do this for me.”

  Asher and I exchange looks. He searches my face, then nods his head at Michael. I look over at my cousin. He is unhealthy and we need him focused on getting better. He doesn’t need any more worries.

  “Okay, I’ll do it.” I say. Michael opens his eyes and smiles.

  “That’s my Char Char. Got get em’ girl. Show them how great you are.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “Charleigh, we all know that it was your dream to make it big. Your mom took it away from you. Now, is your time.” He says, exhausted.

  “Okay.” I say and walk over to him. I kiss him on the cheek.

  “Get some rest.” I leave the room and walk into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I round the corner and slide down the wall to the floor. What am I getting myself into?

  .

  I don’t know how long I sit there with my head hanging when Asher stands in front of me.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Thinking.”

  “Okay… well, they are keeping him overnight and then he is being transferred to a rehab center in California.”

  “I’ll stay with him.” I say. Asher nods.

  “I’m going to pack his bags and be back tomorrow morning.”

  “Okay.” I mutter. He holds out his hand. I look at him in confusion.

  “I need a key.”

  “Use the code. It’s the same.” I say. He nods and then hesitates.

  “Look, about what you heard…”

  “I get it, Asher, I’m ugly as fuck and you can’t stand me.” He laughs.

  “That is not what I meant.” He says smiling. I roll my eyes and smile.

  “You seem to forget that you kissed me first. So, my question is… why are you lying to yourself?” I say with a raise of my eyebrows.

  He shakes his head.

  “I’m with Natalie.” He states.

  “Does she know about the kiss?” I ask. I like making him uncomfortable.

  “It didn’t mean anything. Look, we have to work together, so you need to forget it ever happened. I understand that it was probably mind blowing for you, but it meant nothing to me.” He says with a smug smile. Oh, what a conceited jerk!

  “Actually, it wasn’t that great. I would think with your whoring ways, that you would be a lot better actually. Frankly, I was disappointed.” I say, with a shrug of my shoulders.

  I see the challenge glint in his eyes, but he swallows hard.

  “I see, well, good thing it’s not going to happen again. See you around.”

 
; He stalks off and I catch myself checking out his ass. I’m not the only one. The nurses are staring at him too. Damn, gorgeous man!

  He can tell himself anything he wants, but I know deep down, he was affected by our kiss.

  I guess the only question is… Do I want him and how badly do I want to prove he wants me too?

  I return to Michael’s room. We watch television together and talk about his life on the road. He tells me about the performances and what to expect.

  “Do you want me to call my mom and tell her about you?” Since Michael is nineteen, he doesn’t need a parent’s consent on anything.

  “No, just tell her I’m working, if she asks why I’m gone.” He says.

  We don’t talk anymore, and Michael falls asleep while we are watching a reality show. I sit next to him and open my phone to the notepad. I start typing the lyrics to a song that has been in my head.

  It’s the most emotional song I have ever wrote. It’s my own personal demons. I put into words everything I’ve felt and gone through with my mom, Tim, Blake, Asher, Michael. I’m crying as I write it.

  The next thing I know, Asher is shaking me. I look at him and uncurl myself from the chair. I put a hand on my neck, trying to rub the kink out. Asher is standing there holding my phone. The sun is coming through the window. I must have fallen asleep.

  “You really need to password protect this.” He hands me the phone.

  “Did you go through my phone?”

  “It was open to your notepad. Those lyrics are pretty intense.” He says. Is that concern I see?

  “Hey.” Michael says, sleepily.

  “Hey, buddy, are you ready?” Asher asks. I notice three suitcases.

  “I guess.” He says.

  “Well, they are going to release you and we are taking the back exit. You will get into a black van and they are taking you to the airport. From there, you will enter into the facility for sixty days voluntarily. We are hoping the media doesn’t get wind of this, but if they do, we will handle it.” Asher explains. Michael nods.

  “I love ya, buddy.” Asher says. I have tears in my eyes, but I blink them back. I have to be strong for him.

  Michael is released and we walk him to the van.

  He gathers me in a hug and Asher steps away to give us privacy.

  “Be strong, Mikey. I love you.”

  “You too. Please…. please go to Asher if you need help.”

  “I will, you have my word. Don’t worry about me. I’ve been doing this on my own for a while now. I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay… I love you, Char Char.” He hugs me tight and we are both crying. We pull apart and I give the boys a chance to say goodbye.

  “You got this, man.” Asher says. Michael nods.

  “Take care of her.” He says. Asher nods. They do a bro hug and Michael gets in the van. Asher steps beside me and we watch as he drives away.

  “Do you think he will be okay?” I ask.

  “He is strong and knows we are here for him. I just hope…”

  “What?”

  “I just hope this time he kicks the habit for good.”

  “Me too.”

  “I’ll take you home.” He says and we walk to his car. I need a shower and a nap.

  We discuss what Liz was talking about and how we are going to handle Michael’s situation.

  “What are you going to say to explain Michael’s absence?”

  “We are working on it.” He says, steering us through the traffic.

  “Michael and I decided that it was time the world knows who our songwriter is. We are introducing you to the world. Are you ready?” He asks.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “Charleigh, it’s a whole new world. People will try to take advantage of you.”

  “Asher, my whole world has always been about people trying to take advantage of me.” He flinches at that.

  “It can’t be any worse than what I’ve already had to deal with.” I say, sadly.

  “You’d be surprised.” He says and I see anger reflecting in his eyes.

  “Besides, you’ve had other songwriters since me.”

  “Your songs are the ones that made us famous, these other songs are rubbish. We all know it. We sing what we are given, but we all know they are not even close to our original stuff.”

  “Why do you sing them then?”

  “Our managers and the label makes us.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yeah. We don’t have a say anymore. That’s what I mean when people take advantage of you. Michael and I made some mistakes in the beginning. We put our trust in some people and let’s just say… they didn’t have our best interests at heart. We are trying to rectify our mistakes, but there is a lot of legal matters in the mix.”

  “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

  “Yeah, it’s not as glamorous as people think.”

  “It’s hard to imagine you letting anyone tell you what to do.”

  “You know me so well.” He says with a laugh. It’s the first time we’ve had a conversation without insulting one another. Asher opened up to me like old times.

  When we get back to his house, I walk the short distance between our houses alone. I walk into my empty house and miss Michael. It’s weird how I survived for years without him. At least, I have a week left before my nightmare begins again….

  Chapter Ten

  The next few days fly by. With the house empty, I do my homework and work on a few new songs. My keyboard is getting more action in these last few days then it has in years. I haven’t seen Asher except from a distance. Sometimes I see him through his window. I think I imagine him glancing over in my direction, but he never says a word. I know he can hear me singing and playing, but only silence on his end.

  At school, he is back to playing the asshole. He is with Natalie and laughs when they sling their insults my way. He never says anything, but he laughs. I don’t understand him at all. I try to push him out of mind and my severe attraction to the broody rock star.

  Blake has been leaving me messages and calling me. The messages start out with apologies and then when I do not answer, they turn insulting. I don’t know what I ever saw in him. Trix has been leaving me messages too and I find myself softening towards her.

  The doorbell rings and I make my way down the stairs. I look out and I’m surprised to see who it is.

  “What are doing here?”

  “I wanted to talk to you in person.” Trix says. She sees me hesitate.

  “Please, Charleigh.” She sincerely looks upset.

  “Fine.” I say and let her into the house. We go into the kitchen and she sits down on a barstool. I stand behind the counter.

  “I want to apologize.”

  “I got your messages; I know you are sorry.” I say, not giving an inch.

  “Well, the thing is…. Blake and I used to date.” She says. I look at her with wide eyes.

  What the hell?

  “When you came into the picture…. Blake dropped me. You guys started hooking up and I was hurt.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “We were already friends by that point. At first, I was so angry, but then I realized you had no idea that we had been together. I was really angry at Blake. He was the one that dumped me, not you. I could have been mean, spiteful, or jealous of you, but I truly liked you.”

  “I wish you would have told me or even Blake…”

  “I meant what I said about him. He is an asshole. A controlling, abusive asshole. I tried to warn you, but… I know from experience that you have to see it firsthand. People told me the same things about him, and I didn’t believe them. In fact, I would get angry and I destroyed some friendships defending him. I didn’t want that to happen between us.”

  “So why were you kissing him?”

  “I honestly don’t know.” She says, tears filling her eyes.

  “I had a weak moment and he was telling me things I had wanted him to say for a long
time.” She says as a tear rolls down her cheek.

  “He said he was so sorry for how we ended things. He apologized for the hurt he caused me, some physical.” She says, hanging her head.

  In that moment, I realize why I always related to Trix. She was a survivor like me. I can’t stay mad at her. I don’t even care about Blake.

  “Then he kissed me. As soon as we kissed, I remembered how many times he fooled me into thinking he changed. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” She gives out a sad chuckle.

  “I swear, Charleigh, I want nothing to do with him, but I am so worried that we will never be friends again. I don’t want him to ruin anymore friendships in my life.”

  “Trix, I was drunk, and I was hurt, but not really because of Blake and you. There is so much going on in my life. I guess I just thought it was another kind of betrayal.”

  “I get it.” She says, sadly.

  “I forgive you.” I state. She looks at me with hope.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, come on, let’s watch some chick flicks and get drunk on wine.” I say and she smiles.

  “Sounds great!” She says. She walks around the counter and hugs me tight.

  And just like that, I have my friend back. We have a blast, blaring music in my room and dancing like crazy people.

  “Turn it down!” Asher yells from his window.

  “Fuck off!” I yell back, still dancing. Trix laughs.

  “Jesus! Turn down the fucking music!” He yells out again. This time I strut to the window. I’m feeling bold from the bottle of wine we shared.

  I start dancing like what I think a stripper would dance like. I probably look like a moron, but watching Asher’s face… I must be doing something right. He starts biting his bottom lip and his gaze is intense. I slowly pull off my shirt and sway to the music in just my bra. I reach up and undo my ponytail, letting my hair fall in waves. I hear Trix laughing in the background, but my eyes are focused on Asher.

  I cup my breasts and lick my lips. I watch as his knuckles turn white on the windowsill. His jaw is clenched and finally he let’s out a deep breath.

  “Show’s over, hot stuff.” I wink and blow him a kiss, closing the window and shutting the curtains.

  “Holy shit! That was awesome!” Trix exclaims as I pull my shirt back on.