Lucky Me

by B. B. Donnelly

  “Asher, you are not your father.” He visibly flinches at that.

  “I just think it sucks that you wouldn’t give us a chance. I’m stronger than what you think. I can handle things as long as you were honest with me, but you chose to throw us aside. I can’t change your mind. So, I feel sorry for you. We could have been amazing, and we were lucky to find each other. There isn’t much more I can say. I love you with everything I have, but I guess I have to give it to someone else. You don’t want it.”

  “I think it’s for the best.” He says, but he sounds doubtful.

  “Okay then. Goodbye, Asher. Good luck with your tour.” I say and start for my truck.

  “Charleigh.” He sounds anguished.

  I turn back towards him. He grabs my arm, pulling me into him. He cups the back of my head and kisses me. It’s a bittersweet kiss and I know this is the end. I kiss him back, knowing deep down this is our last kiss. It’s our goodbye. When we break apart, he takes his thumb and wipes the stray tear from my cheek. He is wearing sunglasses, but his cheeks look damp. Why is he doing this to us?

  “Bye.” He says softly.

  “Goodbye.” I say and walk swiftly away from him. I climb into my truck without looking back. I sit there for a few moments letting the tears fall. This birthday sucks….

  I get back to Roxy’s apartment and she is ready for me.

  “We got to get going! They are waiting. I will do your makeup and hair there.” She says excited.

  I dump my school bag in my room and follow her to her car. She takes us downtown and pulls up in front of a warehouse.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask, eyeing the warehouse.

  “Yes, it’s going to be epic.” She says, laughing. We enter the warehouse and it is set up with lights. People are setting up all kinds of equipment.

  “I probably should have asked earlier, but what is this shoot for?”

  “It’s for Ride or Die Motorcycles Magazine! This will be featured everywhere!” She says with an excited smile.

  “Okay.”

  “You are eighteen now, right?”

  “Today is my birthday.”

  “Oh my god, happy birthday! We will totally celebrate tonight!” She exclaims. She introduces me to a few people but rushes me into a curtained off area. It’s filled with leather pieces of clothing.

  “I can’t wait for you to meet the male model. SOOO sexy!” Roxy says with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

  She gestures for me to sit down on a stool and she immediately gets to work on my makeup and hair. She pulls my hair up in a high ponytail and my makeup is really dark. I look more mature and definitely sexy.

  She grabs a black leather bra and cropped leather jacket. She pairs it with black leather pants. I struggle with the pants because they are so tight. Finally, I’m ready and she sweeps back the curtain.

  There is a guy waiting for us and he leads me over to where some motorcycles are sitting. They are beautiful and the guy on one of them…. holy shit, hot. He has some gorgeous tattoo work on his arms. He has jet black hair that falls to his shoulders. I’m watching him as they take pictures of him and he has the smoldering look down. I’m getting a little nervous. This guy is a professional.

  “Okay, thanks Zach. Let’s add Charleigh.” The photographer yells out. I walk up to them and Zach holds out his hand.

  “I’m Zach.” His voice is delicious. If I wasn’t so heartbroken over Asher, I would be crushing hard on him.

  “Charleigh.” I say, taking his hand. He lifts it up and kisses it. Wow….

  “Okay, Charleigh, climb on behind him and wrap your arms around his waist.” The photographer directs me.

  For the next hour, we model different positions and are very close for many of them. When the shoot is over, Zach gives me a hug.

  “You did awesome!” He says.

  “Thank you, this is all new to me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I’ve only done one other shoot before.”

  “Wait! Aren’t you the girl that performed with Asher Stewart? I thought I recognized you! Aren’t you two together?” He asks.

  “That’s me and we are no longer together.”

  “Oh, that’s right, you got yourself into some trouble.” He says.

  “Shit, that was rude.” He says quickly.

  “It’s fine. I messed up.” I say with a short laugh.

  “Hey, I like bad girls.” He says with a wink. Is he flirting with me?

  “Well… I better go…. it was nice meeting you.” I say, stepping away from him.

  “This isn’t goodbye.”

  “Okay…”

  “No, I mean, we will have some follow up appearances to promote these beauties. It’s in the contract.”

  “Oh yeah, see you then.” I say, with a wave. How freaking awkward can I be?

  Roxy comes into the curtained area where I’m changing into my clothes.

  “Oh my, girl, you are a natural! I can’t wait to start saying ‘I knew her when.’” She says and I laugh at her expressions.

  “No, seriously, I heard the owner say that he is putting one of the photos on a billboard! He was talking about having you guys do a commercial too.”

  “That’s so weird.” I say, crinkling my nose.

  “Get ready, your luck has changed. You are going places, my girl.” She says, more excited than me.

  The next two weeks are a blur. I have more modeling jobs offered to me and Roxy was right, we are featured on the front of the magazine and there is a huge billboard with my face on it. School is odd. People start giving me more attention, some good, some bad.

  Our music class is getting ready to leave for Nationals and I’m ready for this one stress to be gone. Trying to juggle everything is starting to take its toll. I have to get through this weekend. Two more weeks and I will graduate. Prom is next weekend, but I doubt I will go. I don’t have a date and there was only one guy I wanted to go with.

  The Orphans are everywhere. They are playing in packed stadiums all over the country. I talk to Michael and he seems to be doing okay. I want to ask Asher about Michael, but I can’t talk to him. It’s too soon, but I know I will break because I’m worried about Michael. I pray he isn’t using…

  I’ve watched a few interviews where my name was mentioned, and Asher doesn’t confirm that we are over. I wonder why? They ask where I am, and they say I have a few obligations to do before I can join them. I asked Michael about it and he said he wanted me to have options. He keeps stressing that I should join them when I graduate, but I’m not sure I can handle seeing Asher.

  I haven’t spoken to my mother and I’m finding that my life is so much better without her in it. It’s a sad thing, but I’m making new friends within the modeling world. I’ve been asked on a few dates from my male coworkers, but my heart isn’t ready. I’m so thankful I have Roxy. She is amazing and has been my rock. She has been guiding me through this lifestyle and I am so lucky to have met her.

  The week has passed with my crazy schedule keeping me occupied from thinking too much about Asher. The day has come to leave for Nationals. I climb into the bus that was rented by the school to take us to Florida where Nationals are held.

  I sit in a seat with an empty one beside me. I pop in my music and settle down for the long drive. I seem to love to punish myself because I find myself listening to The Orphans over and over. I watch the concert of us on YouTube and I hide the few tears that fall. We were beautiful on stage together. There is no denying the chemistry. Why can’t he see what is right in front of him?

  I’m pretty sure Michael said he would be in Florida next for a concert. We were going to check dates, but it slipped my mind. We were going to get together if that was the case. I send him a text to see where he is.

  Sorry, I was mistaken, it’s next weekend we are in Florida. – Mikey

  Bummer- Me

  I know, hope to see you soon- Mikey

  I was looking forward to seeing him, but oh w
ell. I sleep for a couple hours and when we arrive, I join my classmates. They take us to a hotel and split us up into rooms. I’m roomed with Brynn, thankfully. She is sweet, but totally in fangirl mode over Asher. She wants to know everything about him and I’m struggling with not strangling her. She finally leaves me alone in the room to hang with the others.

  We perform tomorrow and it can’t come soon enough. I go over the lyrics and I find that I’ve missed singing and writing. With my modeling and schoolwork load, I’ve put it aside.

  I pull out my songbook and open it to a clean page. I think about Asher and I pour my heart and soul into the words. My hand starts to cramp from how fast I’m jotting it down. When I’m finished, Brynn is coming into the room.

  “What are you up too?” She asks.

  “Just writing.” I say.

  “I wish I could write like you.” She says with a sigh.

  “You can, anyone can.”

  “Yeah right.” She says, pulling down the comforter on her bed.

  “Mr. Brown says it’s lights out.” She tells me.

  “Okay.” My screen lights up from an incoming text.

  Good luck tomorrow. - Ash

  My heart speeds up at the sight of just his name. I miss him so much.

  Thanks- Me

  With that sent, I turn off the light and try to fall asleep, but visions of his kisses and his touch cloud my mind. I toss and turn all night wishing he was here with me. I hope I can do our song justice tomorrow. I tell myself if I can perform in front of thousands of people, I can handle a few hundred tomorrow. But Asher won’t be on stage with me this time, reassuring me with his presence. God, I have to get some sleep!!! Stop worrying and overthinking!!!

  After what seems like hours, I finally fall asleep. Too soon, our alarm goes off. Brynn jumps up and gets to the shower first. She takes forever in the bathroom. When it’s finally my turn I have to rush. I let my hair fall in waves and put on some makeup. I don’t have Roxy’s magic touch, but I don’t look too shabby. I don the black skirt and white button up that we are all wearing.

  We meet everyone for a quick breakfast and head to the facility. We do our group warmups and watch the many high schools perform before us. Some are absolutely amazing. My nerves are starting to get the best of me. I get up from my seat and step outside to get some fresh air.

  “What are you doing out here?” A familiar voice asks.

  “Michael!” I exclaim.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask.

  “Surprise!” He says, opening his arms for my hug.

  “It’s so good to see you!”

  “It’s only been a few weeks! We’ve gone longer than this before.” He says with concern.

  “I know, but that was when I was drowning in self-loathing and severe jealousy.” I tease. He chuckles.

  “Now, my little cousin is making a name for herself. Hottest model out there!” He says, proudly. I shrug.

  “It pays the bills.” I joke.

  “I can’t believe you are here.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.” He says. I glance behind him, but he isn’t there.

  “He isn’t back there. I know who you want to see.” He states. I look down at the ground.

  “Where is he?” I ask.

  “He didn’t want me to tell you.” He says. That hurts.

  “Hey, everything is going to be okay. You have to trust me. Everything will work out how it’s supposed too.” He says, before I can ask him what he means, he continues.

  “You get out there and kill it! I’m so proud of you, Charleigh. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” He says with a smile.

  “Yes, we have. Thank you for always being there even when I pushed you away.”

  “Always, Char Char, always.”

  “Love you Mikey.”

  “Love you Char Char. Now go. I want to hear this amazing song you guys wrote.”

  “Okay. Could you video tape it for me?”

  “Sure! I’ll see you after the show. I can’t wait!!” He says.

  I leave him to find my classmates and Mr. Brown. I finally find them gathered in a room outside of the auditorium. Everyone is talking at once and then silence when I enter.

  “There you are!” Mr. Brown exclaims, excited.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing, nothing…” He says, shaking his head and giving a warning glare to my classmates. Natalie is seething. I look at them, trying to figure out what I’m missing.

  A man wearing a headset comes walking into the room.

  “You guys are on in five.” He says and then abruptly leaves. Excited voices suddenly erupt throughout the room.

  “Okay, calm down everyone. Remember what we talked about. Let’s go!”

  “Wait, what did you talk about?” I ask, panicked.

  He takes me by the shoulders.

  “Charleigh, you will be amazing. Just do what’s natural.” He says in a soothing tone. He pushes me through the door.

  All I can think is…. What the hell is going on?

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I follow the chatter of my classmates and try to figure out why they are all excited, except Natalie. She has a resting bitch face on. Mr. Brown keeps telling everyone to be quiet. I’m so confused.

  We stand on the sidelines and watch the school before us perform. They are really good, and I feel like throwing up. I don’t like disappointing people. What if our song isn’t good enough? What is I don’t sing it well? What if I choke?

  “Charleigh, breathe.” Mr. Brown demands. He must notice how jittery I’m getting.

  “Everything is going to be fine. Trust me.” He says.

  I just nod. I watch the rest of their performance and try to clear my head. This is my time to prove that I’m a singer and a song writer. I will prove it to my mother, I’ll do it for Michael, I’ll do it for me and… I’ll do it for Asher. This song was ours and I’ll perform it with all that I have.

  “Next up is Wellington High, performing an original song called Lucky Me written by students Charleigh Matthias and Asher Stewart.” Someone announces from on stage.

  There is a surprised murmur throughout the auditorium at Asher’s name. My classmates walk out from the sidelines and climb the risers set up on the stage. I stand on the sidelines for a brief moment. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I walk onto the stage and take my spot in the front and center.

  There are two mics and a stool. Apparently, they forgot to take the extra mic off the stage. I stand in front of the one without the stool. Maybe I can pretend that Asher is sitting there. I adjust the mic and wait for the music to start.

  I don’t focus on the people in the crowd, I look over them into the darkness. The music starts and I start singing softly. I close my eyes and pour my soul into it. I want these people to know what’s in my heart.

  I start to take my breath to begin the next verse when suddenly the crowd roars and I open my eyes as Asher begins singing. He’s here and staring at me so intensely that my heart is pounding in my chest. Why is he here? How is he here?

  He sings the verse, walking closer to me. I think I forgot how to breathe. He gives me a huge smile and I can’t help but smile back. He nods at me because it’s my turn. Back and forth we sing to each other never losing our eye contact. We sing our song like how it was always meant to be sung.

  Our classmates join in making it the most powerful song I have ever heard. Their voices combined with ours gives me the chills. This moment will forever be ingrained in my memory.

  Asher and I hit the highest notes and the chorus is so powerful I feel tears fill my eyes. I blink them away quickly because I never want to forget how Asher is looking at me. The song is coming to an end and we give it our all.

  Asher takes my hand as we sing the closing verses. He pulls me in closer to him and sings directly to me. I look him in the eyes, and I can hear the emotions in both our voices as we sing the last notes.

  When we finish, the cr
owd fades away as he puts a hand on my cheek and then his lips find mine. This kiss is singing its own song about love, sadness, loss, and forgiveness. When he gently pulls away, the world comes to life and the crowd is on their feet, cheering loudly for us.

  I look out and see so many smiling, excited faces. A few are wiping tears from their eyes. I look back over at Asher whose eyes have never left me.

  “Why?” I ask, shaking my head in disbelief.

  “Because I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want you by my side. I want you to travel the world with me. I can’t keep living in this world without you.”

  “Asher….”

  “I know it may take you awhile to forgive me for what I’ve put you through. I thought I was doing what was right, but I was wrong, so wrong.”

  Before I can say anything, our classmates join us, patting us on the backs and giving us hugs. We exit the stage so the next school can perform, but Asher never let’s go of my hand. Once on the sidelines, Asher only let’s go because Mr. Brown is grabbing me in a hug.

  “I’m so proud of you Charleigh.” He says with warmth.

  “Thank you and thank you for believing in me.” I say with emotion. He will always be my favorite teacher. He saw me when others chose to ignore me.

  The other students grab his attention with their excitement. He congratulates us and we are free until the awards ceremony. The rest of the students go to sit in the auditorium, but Asher grabs my hand, leading me away from them. He takes me to the entrance area of the facility, leading outside. We sit down on a bench side by side.

  “You were amazing.” He says almost shyly.

  “How are you here?” I ask.

  “I’m still technically a student. I never dropped out officially. We worked and pulled a few strings… and here we are. Michael wants to finish high school. I agreed to put off the tour again. We did all the mandatory shows and we are not going back until after we graduate.” He says, still grasping onto my hand.

  “Charleigh, I meant what I said on stage. I want to be with you if you will have me.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  “You were always there. Everywhere I looked I saw you. Every concert… I swore I saw you there. I was miserable. When we first came back, I had so much anger from watching what happened to my parents. I blamed your mom and I blamed you.”