Dirty Secret

by Chelle Bliss

  “Your mom and I want to come see you.”

  “Oh, it’s not a good time.”

  “It’s never a good time,” he says shortly. “We’ve never even met your roommate, Kennedy.”

  “Why is that such a big deal? I’m twenty-three years old.”

  He sighs heavily. “It wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t just one of many efforts on your part to exclude us from your life.”

  “Exclude you?” I draw my brows together with surprise.

  “You’re full of secrets and evasions, and frankly, I’ve had it. Your mom and I want to know what’s going on with you.”

  I laugh bitterly. “I learned secrets and evasions from the best, Dad.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.”

  Another sigh. “Since when do you disrespect me this way?”

  “Since I figured out that I don’t have to accept whatever scraps you’re willing to throw me.”

  “Scraps?” His offended tone makes me roll my eyes. “I’ve always done my best by you, Kennedy. You know that.”

  “No, actually, I don’t. I know that I grew up feeling ashamed of who I was. Worried that someone would find out the truth and it would hurt you.”

  “It would have hurt a lot of people,” he says wearily.

  “Yes, it would have. But all because of your bad choices.”

  “What’s the point of doing this now? I have four children, and I love all of you equally. I’ve been calling because I’m concerned about you. Why throw things in my face this way?”

  A lump burns in my throat, and I swallow it. “I’ve never gotten to say anything to you that you wouldn’t like. Do you get that? Do you get what that feels like? No angsty teenage drama or complaints about you not being there for holidays? I wasn’t allowed to tell you how I really felt. I had to keep it all inside, smile and take what little time I could get from you. Oh, and I either had to either hide in my house with you or pretend you weren’t really my dad if we were spending time together.”

  “I’ve never been ashamed of you.”

  “But you were,” I say, my voice breaking. “You were ashamed of all of us. You never would have owned up to the truth if you hadn’t gotten busted.”

  There’s a long pause before he says, “I might not have. I don’t know. I never claimed to be a perfect man, Kennedy.”

  “There is a huge difference between perfect and what you’ve done. You never truly loved Mom or Reagan and Abby’s mom because if you did, you couldn’t have done that to them. You would have done anything to protect someone you loved, not cheat and live a lie that lasted decades.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you’ve been holding this in for so long.”

  My shoulders drop as I exhale and lean back against the bench. “I didn’t mean to jump on you so hard, it’s just…you accusing me of being secretive hit a nerve, I guess.”

  “I can understand that.”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you about everything being fine, Dad. I’m a twenty-something living in New York City, and calling my parents isn’t at the top of my mind.”

  “Do you like it there?”

  “I do. I love it.”

  “Are you seeing anyone?”

  I smile as I picture Nix in bed, his hair rumpled and his eyes alight with mischief. And by mischief, I mean a desire to fuck me in some creative and mind-blowing position he hasn’t tried yet.

  “I kind of am,” I say.

  “That’s great. And Kennedy, your mom and I want you to know that we support you no matter what. Whoever he—or she—is, we just want you to be happy.”

  “She? What are you talking about, Dad?”

  “I just mean that if you’re gay—”

  “I’m not.” I laugh at his assumption and at his I’m totally good with this tone of voice. “I mean, if I were, I’d say so. But, no, I’m definitely seeing a man.”

  A man with enough dick and stamina in bed for two men, in fact, but I leave that part out.

  “Okay.” He laughs nervously. “We just thought since you hadn’t wanted us to meet your roommate, maybe it was because—”

  “No.” Olivia and I are so having a good laugh over this conversation later, but for now, I need to get into the office. “Hey, I need to go into my office now, but if you and Mom want to come visit soon, you can meet my…um…boyfriend and my roommate.”

  I just called Nix my boyfriend. That was weird. He’s kind of intense to be anyone’s boyfriend.

  “We’d love that. We’ll text later with some dates.”

  “Okay.”

  “And we can talk some more when I’m there, if you want to.”

  “I’d like that. Thanks, Dad.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too. Tell Mom I love her, too.”

  We hang up, and I put my phone in my bag. I just sit on the bench for a few seconds and watch people walking by, everyone absorbed in their own train of thought.

  I can’t believe I just told my father about the resentment I have toward him. I’ve never said those words out loud to anyone. It felt good.

  When I get up and walk into Beans to an End, I feel lighter. I get a coffee and head for the Greenlight office, still replaying the conversation in my head.

  The office is quiet when I walk in. There are a few agents sitting at their desks working, and many are in a meeting in a glass-walled conference room in the center of our office space.

  Maybe I’ll be able to focus on writing reports and get them all caught up. I still haven’t finished my report from the Dubai trip.

  “Hey,” I say to Rae as I walk past her desk. “What’s up?”

  “Not much.” She shrugs. “How’s the eye?”

  I pat my makeup-covered black eye. “It doesn’t really hurt.”

  “What’d you tell Phoenix about your weeklong absence?”

  “That I was visiting family.”

  She gives me a skeptical look. “Did he buy it?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Well, I’ve got good news about him.” She passes me a sheet of paper from her desk.

  My lips part in surprise as I see a mugshot of Coco, Nix’s friend. She’s got dark eye makeup beneath her swollen eyes in the photo, and it’s obvious she’s been crying. She was booked under her real name, Caroline Dunning.

  I scan the booking information, and my heart sinks. She was arrested for theft. I wonder if Nix knows. But worse…I wonder if he’s next.

  “What did you mean when you said you have good news about him?” I ask Rae.

  “She’s his protégé.”

  I scoff. “I wouldn’t go that far. More like his aspiring protégé.”

  “Well, now we have leverage.”

  I nod as it sinks in. They really do have leverage. Nix cares about Coco, and there seem to be very few people in this world he cares about.

  Shaking my head, I realize it’s not they, but we. We have leverage. I’m a Greenlight agent, and my job is to bring people like Nix to justice.

  He stole more than fifty million dollars in Europe last year. His lifestyle of sipping Cognac and having a driver to take him places is paid for by criminal activity. Nix makes deals with men like Hassan, selling illegal weapons like the gun that was used to murder my uncle Jeff. I didn’t get into this work to fall for a man like Nix; I came here to bring down men like him.

  “So what do we do from here?” I ask Rae.

  “The director wants to bring him in and talk about a deal.”

  “What sort of a deal?”

  “Him for her.”

  I arch my brows skeptically. “Really? You think he’ll cop to everything and spend the rest of his life in prison to get her out of a theft charge?”

  “Not likely, but that’s not all the leverage we have.” Rae’s green eyes lock onto me with a laser-like focus. “Our cybercrime people were able to follow the trail Caroline left back to Phoenix. We don’t have everything, but we’ve at least
got something to work with now. It’s the first hard evidence we’ve been able to get on him.”

  I nod and swallow hard. “And it confirms what we suspected? That he’s a black hat hacker?”

  Rae’s eyes widen. “Of course, he’s a black hat. We knew that, but we didn’t have evidence until now.”

  “Coco’s a dumbass,” I say bitterly.

  “Kennedy, tell me you aren’t sorry we finally got this evidence.”

  I shake my head quickly. “No, of course not.”

  “Listen, it’s normal to develop feelings for the people we’re working. Especially when we’re forced to get physically involved with them. But you have to remember that the job comes first.”

  “I know.” I lean against the edge of her desk and look down at her. “So now what? Is it business as usual for me?”

  “I don’t know. The director will decide. I can’t imagine we’ll want to blow your cover, though.”

  “Rae,” I say, my voice so soft it’s almost a whisper. “I think he may suspect me.”

  “Of working against him?”

  “Of working in intelligence.”

  She puts a hand over her mouth, but she quickly moves it away and gives me a serious look. “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s a big deal.”

  “I don’t think he’d hurt me.”

  Rae glares with annoyance. “You think he’s willing to go to prison over you? After a few good fucks?”

  “No, I don’t…I don’t know. I think he suspects but doesn’t actually want to know.”

  “Then why is he still seeing you?”

  I shrug. “I think he believes he’s untouchable. He’s careful, Rae. Really careful. I’ve never seen a shred of evidence at his apartment.”

  “How hard have you looked?”

  My cheeks warm and I look away. She’s got me there. When I’m at Nix’s place, my attention is completely focused on him.

  “I’ve seen the surveillance footage of him. I get the appeal. He’s got that tall, dark, and handsome thing down. And his smile…”

  My face gets even hotter. “Yeah, his smile…”

  My heart pounding as I study her expression, I ask, “Can I try to turn him?”

  “Turn Phoenix? You think he’d walk away from making tens of millions and work for us?”

  I shrug. “To save Coco, he might.”

  “You’d be blowing your cover. That would mean a reassignment far away from here.”

  “Unless it works.”

  Rae arches her brows, looking impressed. “You’re willing to risk it? Because we can send another agent to try to turn him.”

  “I don’t think anyone else will be able to get through to him like I can.”

  She leans forward in her chair, speaking in a low tone. “This is serious, Kennedy. He could agree and then shoot you in the head at his first opportunity and split. Or not agree and shoot you on the spot.”

  I lift my chin, trying to sound more confident than I feel right now. “I’m the one who’s been working him, and I’m asking for a chance to turn him.”

  “In exchange for dropping the charges against Caroline Dunning?”

  “Yes. And maybe…”

  “What?” She narrows her eyes.

  “I don’t know. Maybe I don’t make Nix into a card-carrying Greenlight field agent. Maybe he just becomes a source for us.”

  “He’s pretty high on the food chain for that.”

  “Just…let me find out what the options are with him.”

  She nods. “I’ll have to get the director’s approval. And I want to go with you.”

  “No. Just me.”

  She shakes her head in frustration. “Do you have a death wish?”

  “I’m just following my gut. My wise handler once told me to do that.”

  “Ha.” Rae gives me a wry grin. “Don’t try to kiss my ass.”

  “Make this happen for me, okay? Please? I know you have pull with the director.”

  “I’ll do my best.” She sighs deeply. “But if he kills you, I’ll be pissed at you for a really long time.”

  “Got it.”

  The door to the glass conference room opens, and people start filing out. The director meets Rae’s eyes and starts walking toward her.

  “All right, I’ll let you know,” Rae says to me.

  “You’re the best.”

  She gives me a sad smile. “I was once.”

  “Still are. I wouldn’t want anyone else at my back.”

  My pulse is pounding as I walk over to my desk. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rae following the director into his office.

  I know Nix is one of the bad guys I’m supposed to bring down. But I can’t do that unless I have no other options. He went to bat for me with Grayson. Now it’s my turn to do the same for him.

  20

  Phoenix

  After three hours at the Loft and no sign of Kennedy, I finish my drink and throw a fifty on the table for Popcorn. Every person who approached me tonight for work or pleasure was sent away without even as much as a second glance.

  After Coco revealed her extracurricular activities, which ended up being a clusterfuck, I needed to blow off a little steam. I figured fucking Kennedy could help bring me back to center. I stalk toward the front door, ignoring each person I walk by even when they try to get my attention, every muscle in my body growing tenser with each step.

  Sliding into the back of the Escalade, I give Crane a quick nod before firing off a text to Kennedy.

  Me: My place. Now.

  My hand is wrapped around the phone so tightly, I can hear the case start to crack in my hands.

  “Home, Mr. Ash?” Crane asks, keeping his eyes on the road and giving me my privacy.

  He already knew I wasn’t in the mood for chitchat from the ride to the club earlier. “Please.” I glance out the window and turn the phone over in my hand, waiting impatiently for Kennedy’s response, but it doesn’t come fast enough before I shoot off another.

  Me: You have thirty minutes, and then I’m coming for you.

  Before I can turn the screen off, I receive a reply.

  Kennedy: I’m on my way. Be there in ten.

  The knot that’s formed at the base of my neck starts to loosen, and I blow out a long, steady breath when I read her reply. Pressing my head into the headrest, I close my eyes and try to push down the anger from the situation with Coco. Kennedy doesn’t need my shitty attitude, but I plan to fuck her in a punishing way. The aggression and aggravation that have built up inside me over the last few hours need to go somewhere, and lucky for Kennedy, her pussy is going to be the recipient.

  When Crane pulls up to the curb in front of my building, Kennedy’s already waiting near the door. Her hands are tucked into the pockets of her jeans, and she’s sweeping her foot back and forth against the cement, scuffing the bottom of her black stiletto.

  As soon as I open the car door and step down, her eyes meet mine. “Nix.” She stills the sweeping motion of her foot.

  “Good of you to join me.”

  Her eyes widen slightly. “Sorry. I’ve had a shitty day,” she says and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, peering down at her feet as she follows in line with me as I walk.

  My hand finds the small of her back, and I usher her through the door at my side. “Good evening, Mr. Ash,” Troy says, smiling from ear to ear when we enter the lobby. “Evening to you too, ma’am.” He tips his hat, stalking toward the elevator to press the button before I can.

  Kennedy’s back is tense under my fingertips. She plasters a smile on her face and twists her fingers together in front of her. “Hi, Troy,” she says with an overly enthusiastic and completely fake happy tone.

  “It’s always nice to see you, Troy. Working the night shift all week?” I ask, trying to make small talk so I don’t seem like an asshole.

  He punches the button with the up arrow. “Yes, sir. You need anything, just ring.” He removes his hat and steps away from the door, giving us a litt
le more space.

  “I will. Thank you, Troy.” My fingers slide underneath Kennedy’s shirt and press into warm skin. “I’ll get it from here,” I tell Troy, ready to be alone with Kennedy and not in the mood for anything but her.

  “All right, Mr. Ash. Have a good evening.” He smiles, placing the maroon hat banded with a black ribbon back on his head. “Night, ma’am.”

  “Night, Troy,” Kennedy says, tensing underneath my touch.

  My thumb strokes the dip of her spine, never missing a beat when the doors slide open and we step inside. She turns to face me before we reach the back wall, but my lips are on hers before she has a chance to speak. My hand tangles in her hair, holding her face to mine and giving her no space to get away.

  The kiss is punishing and demanding as my tongue sweeps inside her mouth, relishing the velvety softness as her tongue slides against mine. My leg comes up, pushing her knees apart, and I press my erection against her leg. Every ounce of my body is craving her, needing the release. She moans into my mouth when her clit brushes against my thigh, rocking back and forth.

  Her eyes are darker, and she’s gasping for air when her tongue pokes out, sweeping against her red, swollen lips. My cock hardens to granite, my heart thumping erratically in my chest from the look in her eyes.

  I grab her hand, pulling her out of the elevator and through the door into the penthouse foyer. “I need you,” I say, pulling her shirt over her head before the elevator doors have even closed.

  “Nix,” she says as I drop it to the floor and bury my face in her cleavage.

  Her perfume surrounds me, luring me into an erotic trance as my tongue sweeps across her skin, tasting her. She moans, digging her fingers into my hair, and her head tips back when I take her hard nipple in my mouth. I’m drunk on her. Stoned on lust. High with need. In this moment, all of that outweighs the fact that she still has secrets she’s keeping from me.

  My fingers work the button and zipper of her jeans before yanking them down far enough to dip a finger inside of her. “So wet,” I murmur against her breast.

  “Nix,” she moans, riding my finger and grinding her clit into the fleshy part of my palm.

  My teeth bite down, grazing her swollen nipple in a back and forth motion as I draw it into my mouth. Everything else around us, everything that we are falls away, and we’re only left with the animalistic desire that’s coursing through us.