Good Lies (A Wild Minds Novel)

by Charlotte West

Once upon a time, I’d unburdened on Warren, leaned on him. That had turned to dust. I wouldn’t love so freely again.

  “So you’re just going to follow me around and rub my bruised neck at night?”

  “Aye,” Kelly said in a low voice. “That’s my only skillset, following wee lasses around and giving them massages.” Though joking, he had voiced my heart’s desire.

  We turned a corner into a corridor lined with big black speakers. There were a few doors painted black like the hallway. Behind them, I heard people—private dressing rooms for the bands. Warren could be in one of those rooms. Best to hightail it someplace else. Maybe to the other side of the arena. Maybe to the other side of town. You couldn’t be too careful.

  Just my luck, a door opened and out emerged Warren.

  “Addy,” Warren said. He was in front of me in an instant, his big hands gently cupping my jaw. “How’s your neck?”

  I swallowed. Warren wore a crisp white T-shirt along with well-worn jeans that I knew would be soft to the touch. From his belt, a wallet chain hung. A dated fashion statement, but on him it worked. Part of his “I’m bigger than you and don’t give a fuck” attitude. His hair was loose and as he looked down at me, a lock fell over his eye. Then my gaze focused on his lips. I wanted to kiss those lips. I wanted to confess I’d heard everything he’d said in Rome, that he’d married me for money and revenge against my father. Then I wanted to beg him to tell me that none of it was true, that it was all a horrible mistake.

  “Careful, lad. She’s still sore.” Kelly was behind me. Not close enough to touch, but close enough I could feel the heat from his body. I was in a murse-rock star sandwich. Super awesome.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Warren’s eyes flashed.

  “I’m Kelly.” He circled around me, hand extended to Warren.

  A muscle in Warren’s jaw worked repeatedly, as if he was gnashing his teeth. Kelly’s hand went unshaken.

  “Billy hired him to take care of me. He’s my new security detail. And he’s a nurse,” I offered into the heated silence.

  “Well, Nurse Kelly,” Warren ever so helpfully enunciated the words. “Do you mind if I have a word alone with my wife?”

  My wife. The term registered immediately, dropping into the conversation like a two-ton weight. How could Warren be so careless? What was he thinking? My eyes darted around the hallway. Nobody else had heard, thank goodness. Still, I couldn’t believe Warren had said it. I needed to refute it, as quick as possible. I smiled at Kelly, who showed no outright reaction to the revelation. “He’s joking. Tell him you’re joking.”

  “Yeah, I’m a real comedian,” Warren said, not smiling, not a hint of humor in his voice. “We’ll be right back.” Then Warren had a hold of my hand and was dragging me through one of the black doors.

  “I’ll just hang out here in the hallway,” Kelly said. “Where hopefully the walls aren’t too thin. Just in case, I’ll put my fingers in my ears.”

  The door slammed behind us. We were in a janitorial closet of some sort. It smelled like lemons and bleach. There weren’t any windows. My eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark but I knew Warren was close. I could feel his breath fanning my face.

  “Addy.” His hands were on my shoulders, then lightly skirting up my neck and to my cheeks. He held me so tenderly it made me want to weep. “You okay?”

  Physically or emotionally? I wanted to ask. “I’m okay,” I said instead.

  “When you didn’t come back from the hospital, I thought you pulled a runner again.”

  My hands covered his. “You shouldn’t have told Kelly I’m your wife.”

  “You are my wife.”

  “I don’t want to be your wife anymore.” Gah, it hurt to say it aloud.

  “You don’t mean that.” His thumbs caressed my jaw. “I don’t like your nurse.”

  “He makes my neck feel better.”

  “I’ll make you feel better.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. A slow burn started in my belly. Why did he have to smell so good? Like leather and sweat and sweet cologne. I put my hands flat on his chest. He cradled the back of my head. “Does your neck hurt now?”

  Honestly I could say, it didn’t. “No.”

  “See? I made you feel better. Get rid of your nurse. All you need is me.”

  He sounded like a jerk. Adrenaline pumped through me. “Were you born this arrogant or did it develop over time?’

  I felt one of his shoulders rise and fall. “You bring it out in me.”

  I pushed at him. His hand tangled in my hair and pulled me into him, bringing my lips to his. I wished I wore a suit of armor. Maybe then his body wouldn’t have felt so hot against me. His tongue licked the seam of my mouth. And just like before on the bus, I melted into him as easy as snow into a rain puddle. I was helpless. His kiss was gentle and probing. Not tentative. But tender, like he could feel my bruises inside and out.

  Warren momentarily drew away. “You’re so sweet. As sweet as I remember you,” he said against my lips. “I want you to come stay on the bus with me. We can work out whatever bullshit is between us.”

  I could just make out his fierce features in the dark. Yes, I wanted to say yes. Yes, please, Warren, make it all better. Care for me like Nurse Kelly. I want it to be you. I always wanted it to be you.

  “Where the fuck is War?” Ash barked from the other side of the wall.

  “Shit.” Warren leaned his forehead against mine. “I’ve got to go.”

  I needed to set Warren straight. The kissing had been fun, but it was only a distraction. I steeled my spine, reinforced the walls around my heart. “Warren, you can’t do this. We can’t do this.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I need you to sign the divorce papers.”

  He stiffened. “Fucking hell, Addy, if I hear you say one more thing about fucking divorce papers—”

  “Warren?” Ash hollered again, and by the sound of it, from the hallway.

  “Sign the papers, Warren.” I was standing my ground. His words in Rome replayed in my head. Her old man is loaded. Someday he’ll die and all that money will be ours. Motherfucker had us booted from his tour. It took us years to come back. It’s going to be sweet when he finds out I’ve defiled his little girl. I can’t wait to watch his head explode when she calls me her husband. “The terms are really generous.” I felt like a little girl again, locked in that dirty apartment waiting for my junkie mother. Hurt, lost and abandoned, willing to do anything to be free. “You get half of my trust and upon my father’s death you’ll get half of whatever I inherit.” I’d given Warren exactly what he wanted except for one thing. “The only caveat is, you have to sign a non-disclosure agreement that bars you from discussing our marriage or anything having to do with me.”

  “What the fuck? Is that what you think? That you can just throw some money at me and make everything you want to forget go away?”

  I couldn’t answer him, too afraid he’d hear the tears in my voice. And I knew he was just pissed. The money wasn’t enough. He wanted his big fuck you to Billy. I was his pawn. I wouldn’t let him use me to hurt my father.

  Warren stepped away from me and it was like the Grand Canyon had opened up between us. “Derren was right, you are a cold-hearted bitch.”

  With that, he slammed from the room. My only consolation was Warren had gotten it wrong. Derren had said I had a black heart. I chuckled to myself but it was dry, devoid of warmth. Then I collapsed into tears.

  When I left the closet twenty minutes later, Kelly was waiting for me.

  “Is the coast clear?” I asked, poking my head out.

  “Nobody but me, lass.”

  I stepped out, squinting against the fluorescent lights in the hall.

  “About what just happened…” I gestured vaguely down the hall toward where Wild Minds was warming up. “I’m hoping we can keep it between us.”

  Murse Kelly looked at the ground and shuffled his feet. “You don’t want your da to kno
w?”

  “I’m taking care of it.”

  “Ach, yeah, it looks like you’ve got a handle on everything.”

  Sarcasm on Murse Kelly was not attractive. I gave him an exasperated look. “You going to tell or not?”

  “No, lass. I’m not going to tell. Your secret is safe with me.”

  “I can trust you?”

  “I spent ten years in the British equivalent of the Secret Service as a medic and another two serving as private security for European royalty. Now those are some fucked-up families. You can trust me.”

  Nodding, I said, “Thank you.”

  “It’s just a shame, lass,” he said, coming to stand right in front of me. His thumb touched underneath my eye, where I was sure mascara had run. “That in all my years and all my experience and all my medical training, I never learned the cure for a broken heart.”

  Cue the waterworks again.

  I gazed out the window, watching the scenery blur by. About fifty miles ago the sparse tree landscape had turned red and rocky. The air was dry. We were definitely in the desert. We’d be in Phoenix just two days, then we’d be making a big jump to L.A. The entertainment capital was home to both bands. Everyone would get a chance to sleep in their own beds, shower in their own bathrooms.

  Billy’s house had never felt like a home to me. A modern architectural wonder, the house was made up of sharp angles and floor-to-ceiling windows. He’d never meant to have a kid there. It wasn’t built for a family. When I was little and we weren’t touring, we only spent short bursts of time in the glass box. Inevitably, Billy would grow restless. Staying in one place too long made him anxious. He wasn’t meant to put down roots. I’d wake up to Billy packing our bags, booking us tickets to France or Spain or Japan. I believed he secretly missed his real home in the U.K.

  Years before I was born, he’d had a falling out with his parents and they hadn’t spoken since. Billy said they never understood him. His soul was meant to wander. I didn’t know if mine was. I loved the road and the concerts, but when I was young, I had wanted nothing more than just to be still.

  Nearby, Jett and Chord sat in flanking armchairs, strumming acoustic guitars. Chord sat next to me, headphones on and eyes closed. Daisy and Billy had disappeared to the back. We were in a lull. I guessed I understood why Billy liked nonstop action: because in these moments of quiet you were forced to think. And lately my thoughts centered on one tattooed lead singer. Besides some scalding looks, Warren hadn’t spoken to me. You are a cold-hearted bitch. There was some irony in that statement when he was the one who had made me that way.

  Kelly plopped down beside me, greeting me with a smile. “Your neck looks good today, lass.”

  The bruises were almost healed, but there were some residual aches. “Yeah, I’m almost all better. You’ll be out of a job soon.” Murse Kelly and I had grown into an easy, casual friendship, like siblings.

  “I don’t think so. Billy wants me to stay on as your muscle.” He flexed his bicep and grinned. He had nice forearms, thickly muscled and veined. “Plus I’ve been helping look after Daisy too.” Today, his long hair was pulled back in a man-bun.

  My eyes strayed to the back of the bus. The master bedroom door was closed. Since our hotel stay back in Seattle, Daisy’s sickness had grown worse. She’d been too sick to appear at last night’s concert. I wasn’t worried. I had an inkling what was going on. Daisy was pregnant. My cabbie in Seattle had been right. I was just waiting for Billy and Daisy to confirm it.

  I swallowed and it felt like glue was lodged in my throat. Why hadn’t they told me yet? As if he could read my thoughts, Billy emerged from the back room, closing the door softly behind him.

  He looked as tired as Daisy was.

  “How’s Daisy?” I asked him.

  “She’s good. Fine.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “Maybe I should go check on her.” I rose to stand.

  “You stay, lass. I’ll check in on Daisy.” Kelly got up, bypassed Billy and knocked softly on the bedroom door. “Daisy, it’s Kelly.” There was a murmur from the other side and Kelly slipped through the door.

  Billy took Kelly’s seat on the couch next to me. “Thought he was a she,” he said, nodding to the door as Kelly shut it behind him. “Never would have hired him if I’d known. I fancied a woman bodyguard and nurse. You know I’m an equal opportunist.”

  I shrugged, unwilling to engage him in the conversation. Billy was prone to rants.

  My father tapped his thumbs on his thighs. “I hate these long stretches of road.”

  “Maybe Daisy should go see a doctor,” I blurted. For some reason, I decided to push and prod at Billy until he told me the truth. Poke the bear.

  Billy spread his arms out so they rested on the back of the couch. He gazed out the window, avoiding eye contact again. “She’ll be fine, yeah. Just some bad food poisoning or something.”

  I gulped and wanted to hide. Warren had said the same thing to me back in Rome. I hadn’t had food poisoning and neither did Daisy. “Still, if it’s that bad maybe we should call a doctor. Kelly’s great and all but maybe Daisy needs to have some tests done or something.”

  “Fucking hell, little bird.” Now, Billy’s eyes were on mine full force, the color of emeralds and just hard, they weren’t kind. “Just leave it alone, okay? She’s fine. She’ll be fine. If you want to talk about something why don’t we talk about you and that prick Warren?”

  Stupefied, I turned from him. Now it was my turn to avoid eye contact.

  “You think I don’t notice things, but I notice everything. You think your old man is some stupid sap who doesn’t see the way he still looks at you and the way you still look at him.”

  Wow, Billy, way to launch an offensive. “Nothing is going on.”

  Jett chose that moment to join the conversation. He swiveled in the armchair and faced us. “Are you talking about Addy? Ain’t possible, mate. She’s got herself a boyfriend.”

  Billy snorted. His thumbs drummed faster on the back of the seat.

  “I would never screw around behind Gabe’s back.” How had we gotten into this discussion? We were talking about cheating on my fake boyfriend with my very real husband. I wanted to throw my hands up at the ridiculousness of it all.

  Billy leaned forward, head in his hands. White blond hair poked through his fingers. “You’re right, little bird. I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Daisy.”

  I uncurled myself from the sofa, moving closer to Billy. “It’s all right.” I patted his back. My smile was a touch brittle.

  He straightened. “I need a drink. Let’s drink and play some music.”

  Jett and Chord joined him in a chorus of, “Hear, hears.”

  Billy roused Turner and together they played a full Johnny Cash acoustic concert. When they started Ring of Fire, I plucked a lighter off the kitchen counter and held it up. No matter what, I’d always be their biggest fan.

  The Phoenix concert ended just after midnight. The noise increase outside the stadium and along the security fences alerted me. I’d skipped the show, curled up in my bunk with my Kindle. Fans chanted, willing the bands to exit the back door. Jett, Chord and Turner would definitely go out, find an after-party somewhere. The bus door opened. I heard two sets of footsteps accompanied by Billy and Daisy’s voices in the cab.

  A soft knock sounded on the wood paneling. “Little bird? You awake?” Billy called quietly.

  I stuck my head out of my bunk. “I’m here.”

  “Come on out, Daisy and me need to talk to you.”

  My steps were sluggish. I stretched a five-second walk into a full minute. Daisy and Billy sat on the couch. I folded myself into a wingback chair that swiveled. “Where’s everyone?” Kelly had been with me, settled up front reading the paper.

  “Jett, Chord and Turner went to an after-party and I asked Kelly to wait outside. This is a family matter,” said Billy.

  I raised both my brows. “Sounds ominous. You sending me back to Pete and Mel�
��s again?”

  Daisy smiled feebly. “Nothing like that. It’s good news. At least I think it’s good news. I hope you think it’s good news too.”

  A beat of silence passed.

  Finally, Billy placed his hand over Daisy’s. “Right. Better to get it all out there. Daisy’s pregnant. You’re going to have a brother or sister. I’m going to be a father.” Brief pause. “Again.”

  Daisy’s smile brightened but it looked a little sickly, fake.

  Billy just looked grim.

  “Oh,” was all I could say. I was stunned. I had figured it out, but to hear it was a completely different matter. To say it was shocking was an understatement. My mind exploded with bad thoughts. Billy didn’t want more kids. At least that was what he’d told me, what he’d promised me. Of course, now as an adult I couldn’t possibly hold him to it. But his vow had wiggled its way into my brain. I was content to be an only child. It made me feel special. I’d taken Billy’s words to heart. How could I want more children when I already have the perfect one?

  Daisy and Billy were starting a family. Without me. The timing couldn’t be better. I was in college. Billy was retiring. They could set up house, a home, in L.A. This baby would have all the things I’d longed for but never had the courage to ask for as a child.

  “That’s all you’ve got say?” Billy asked, green gaze never leaving me.

  I tried to smile but failed. “Congratulations. That’s great news.”

  “Really?” Daisy said, relief evident in her voice. “I was so worried about telling you. We’ve been trying for a year.” Wait, what? “I’m almost five months along. I wanted to tell you right away, but Billy wanted to wait. We had some complications. Then once we found out everything was okay, Billy was arranging this whole tour.” I started to feel sick as the full weight of her words sunk in. And then she dealt the death blow. “It’s so amazing, Billy decided to retire for the baby. He wants to be there for everything…” She trailed off as my mouth opened and closed, stupefied. That was okay, she didn’t need to finish. I knew where she was headed. He wanted to be there for everything because he wasn’t there for me.