Heart of Gold

by J. R. Ward

  “Nick, I…” Her voice trailed off as Buddy raced out the door.

  She took a hesitant step forward, raising her hand as if she was going to touch him, but then she hesitated. As she turned away, he grabbed her and pulled her against his body. Burying his face in her hair, he felt her arms come around him.

  “I don’t want anything to happen to him,” Nick said softly.

  “We’ll find them.”

  Nick pulled back and brushed his hand down her cheek. For a moment, he felt the tension between them dissolve.

  Then she tore out of the house and he heard the four-wheeler roar off into the night.

  Hastily, he scribbled a note to Gertie with the time and the areas they were going to cover. He knew she and Ivan would come as soon as they could. Picking up a flashlight, he leapt outside and broke into a jog. Halfway across the meadow, he wheeled around and returned to the house. A moment later, he reemerged and began running.

  The trip up to the campsite was a blur. Visions of Cort lost in the wilderness spurred Nick on, carrying him up the mountainside. When he arrived, he found Carter and Buddy walking around, their flashlights trained on the ground.

  Carter updated him. “There was no sign of them on the back trail. We’ve been trying to figure out which way they went but it’s impossible with all the footprints around here.”

  Nick searched the dirt himself to no avail. There were prints coalescing at the camp from everywhere: the dig, the river, the clearing. It was like trying to read Braille, and he was losing hope when Ivan materialized like a ghost out of the woods. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

  The woodsman said nothing. Using his flashlight, he trained his eyes downward and circled the camp once. Then he pointed west. “They went to the river. Smart kids. Knew they’d be harder to track that way.”

  The search party headed deeper into the mountain, flashlights scanning the night. When they met up with the river, they followed it at a steady pace, directed by Ivan’s eagle eyes. They had been going along for about twenty minutes when they heard the first cry cut through the night.

  “Help!” Ellie’s voice was hoarse and frayed.

  The grown-ups surged forward, flying over the ground to find her. Coming around a bend in the river, they saw Ellie bent over with her hands on her knees, drawing in great gulps of air. When she saw them, she burst into tears. As soon as Buddy reached her, he took her into his arms, but she pushed him away. Her eyes were wild with panic.

  “Cort,” she choked out. “He’s sick.”

  “Where is he?” Nick asked with cold dread.

  “Up the river. I don’t know how far.” The girl panted between the words. “I marked the place with a yellow shirt in the trees. He’s in a cave, under the rocks.”

  Without another word, Nick and Ivan took off up the river. Carter made sure Ellie wasn’t hurt and then ran off after the men.

  In front, Nick was running flat out, his eyes searching for a streak of yellow.

  It was a lifetime and a little longer until he saw the shirt.

  “Cort!” he called out.

  There was no answer.

  Scanning the vicinity, he saw a group of rocks and ran over to an opening in them. Inside, slouched against the stone, Cort was soaking wet and unconscious. Nick collapsed by the boy’s side. Reaching out with shaking hands, he picked up the boy’s flaccid wrist and felt for a pulse. It was there, beating beneath the skin, but it was way too fast.

  Nick reached into the pockets of his coat and took out a glucose meter. He thought he knew what was wrong but he wasn’t going to chance it. If he guessed incorrectly, he could kill the boy on the spot.

  Trying to ignore the screaming panic in his head, Nick pricked Cort’s finger and spread the drop of blood on a chemical strip. The reading confirmed what Nick suspected. Unlike hypoglycemia, which could make Cort demented and combative because of the lack of sugar in his blood, this attack was caused by ketoacidosis, the result of his body being choked with sugar. They’d been through this before but never in such an isolated place.

  As he fumbled in the pockets of his coat for the insulin and the hypodermic needle, he thanked God he’d decided to go back for the supplies, just in case.

  Just in case had turned out to be just in time.

  Flashing the light on the vial, he double-checked that it was the right one, stuck the needle through the rubber seal on the top, and drew out the correct amount of insulin into the belly of the syringe. The moment the injection was done, he picked up the boy and carried him out of the shelter.

  Carter and Ivan were standing in the cool night air, and he felt their concern reaching out to him through the darkness.

  “I’ll take him down on the four-wheeler.” Nick barely recognized his own voice for the urgent fear in it.

  “I’ll call the ambulance,” Ivan said, taking off.

  As she walked behind Nick, Carter stayed silent, trying not to be overwhelmed with dread. It was close to unbearable watching Cort’s listless head flopping in the crook of Nick’s arm. When the footpath to camp finally appeared, she felt like they’d been granted a small miracle.

  As they entered the campsite, Buddy and Ellie ran up to them. As soon as the girl saw Cort, she gasped and tried to reach out to him. Her father held her back.

  “Let Nick take him down,” Buddy said, searching Carter’s face.

  She met his eyes sadly, having nothing to tell him.

  Nick didn’t stop to talk. As he headed off to the four-wheeler, Carter said to his back, “We’ll see you at the hospital.”

  He didn’t show any signs of having heard her.

  Ellie began crying, and her father wrapped his arms around her. Her sobs were loud until the four-wheeler started up in the distance and drowned them out.

  “We should go,” Carter said gently.

  When they got down the mountain, there was a note tacked onto the windshield of the Range Rover from Gertie, telling them where Cort was being taken. The Swifts and Carter scrambled into the SUV and flashed out onto the main road. As they hurried along, Carter turned and saw that Ellie still had tears rolling down her cheeks. She reached out and took the girl’s hand.

  “We didn’t mean for this to happen,” Ellie mumbled through her sniffling. “We never should have left. I don’t know what we were thinking.”

  “It’s all right,” Carter said, rubbing cold hands in hers.

  “I didn’t know he was a diabetic! We stopped to rest and I opened a bag of cookies. We were eating them, and…” Ellie looked up with pained eyes. “What if he dies?”

  The quiet, shattering words lingered in the speeding car.

  Burlington Hospital, which was situated on the outskirts of town, was the biggest medical center in the area. In the darkness, its lighted entrances and windows glowed. Carter saw them as beacons of hope.

  They found Gertie and Ivan in the emergency department’s waiting room. Together, they passed the time restlessly while Cort was admitted to a bed on the med/surg floor. As soon as they found out the room number, they went upstairs but were turned away. A nurse informed them that there could be only one visitor at a time and Nick was already inside. When she left, the group traded stares.

  Carter thought of Nick, standing vigil by himself, and was overwhelmed by a need to go to him.

  “Unless any of you want to head in, I’m going to,” she said in a strained voice.

  The others looked at her and then, one by one, urged her inside.

  But when she walked into the room, she debated whether to turn back. Nick was standing over the bed with his back to the door, a tall, dark figure hovering over a young body that was too still. He seemed totally absorbed and she was about to leave when he said her name. She looked up and saw him staring at her reflection in the window across the room.

  “How is he?” Her mouth was dry.

  “Stabilized. At least that’s what they tell me.” The breath that left Nick was ragged. “He hasn’t come to, though.�
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  Carter went to the bedside, reaching out for Cort’s hand. It was warm but he didn’t respond to her touch.

  “I’m sure he knows you’re here,” she whispered.

  “Does he?”

  “I think so.”

  Nick wrenched a hand through his hair, his eyes wide and aching as they rested on his nephew. “So what should I do? Am I supposed to pour my heart out, tell him how much I love him? Or do I tell him what I’m really thinking? That I’m so mad I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  Carter stroked the boy’s hand, in case he could hear the anger in his uncle’s voice.

  Nick’s expression was strained by grief. “How could he have taken a chance like that? Going off into the night, without telling anybody. And where was his medication? He obviously didn’t use it. He was irresponsible, utterly irresponsible. This is exactly what I don’t want for him. This horrible situation is so damned avoidable.”

  He began pacing.

  “I keep telling him he has to be careful. Over and over again until it makes us both hate me. And then he goes off half-cocked and nearly gets himself killed.” Gray eyes sought her out. Nick’s brow was drawn tight and his mouth was a straight, hard line. “Dammit, the kid’s not old enough to handle this illness and I can’t get him to take it seriously. For Chrissakes, he could have died out there.”

  “But he didn’t,” Carter said softly.

  “This was just one more in a series of near misses.” Nick’s eyes narrowed as he frowned. “I spend my life wondering where he is and who he’s with and what happens if he collapses. I go insane worrying whether anyone would help him, if they’ll know what to do, if—”

  “Stop it,” she commanded. As Nick fell silent, he regarded her with open hostility.

  “Take a deep breath and calm down.” Carter walked over to him. “You’re scared out of your mind and you’re rambling.”

  Tentatively, she touched his forearm. It was like rock from the tension in his body.

  “Listen to me.” She made her voice drop in volume. “I know you’ve done everything you can think of to keep him safe, but you know what? It didn’t work.”

  “Thanks for the recap,” Nick shot back. “It’s so damn helpful.”

  “You standing over his hospital bed ranting and raving isn’t going to help. It’s not going to get him to wake up faster and it’s not going to make you feel better. It’s only going to heighten the stress and make you more overprotective when this is all over.”

  “So what do you suggest?” Nick demanded hotly. “Assuming that chaining him in the basement isn’t a solution.”

  “You two need to sit down and talk. You need to tell him what your fears are. Maybe that way he can see you as something other than a warden. And he’s got to explain to you why he ran away and what he feels like. Unless you two can learn to communicate, you’re going to end up going in separate directions. You can lose him forever even if he lives a long, healthy life.”

  Nick looked over at the boy.

  “Trust me,” Carter insisted. “I’ve wasted two years being angry with my father just because I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. That’s a lot to lose for silence.”

  She watched as Nick’s face hardened, and she thought he was going to tell her to leave. With each passing moment, he seemed to get more rigid. His jaw became clenched tight and his lips all but disappeared. She was about to turn away when a single tear dropped from his eye.

  “I can’t lose him, too,” Nick said hoarsely. “Melina’s already gone. He’s all I have.”

  Carter’s heart swelled and she put her arms around him. He seemed to collapse into her, as if he needed every bit of the strength she was offering him.

  “I’m not dead, you know,” came a croak from the bed.

  Carter and Nick looked across the room in surprise.

  Cort’s eyes were half-open and he was blinking slowly.

  Nick wiped his cheek with the back of his fist and went to the bed.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked in a husky voice.

  The boy’s eyes struggled to focus. “I’m fine. You don’t look so hot.”

  “I’m better now that you’re back.”

  “Uncle Nick, I’m so sorry.” He began to get agitated. “I—”

  “It’s okay. You’re awake and that’s all I care about.”

  Cort’s gaze drifted away. “I cause a lot of problems, don’t I?”

  “I don’t care.”

  “No?”

  Nick shook his head. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  Similar gray eyes met and held.

  “Even with all your business stuff?” the kid prompted.

  “Especially if that’s all I had.”

  “Even with the slamming doors?”

  “Yes.”

  Cort was silent for a while. Then he asked, “Why?”

  “Because you’re my family.” Nick sat down on the bed. “And that means you’re everything to me.”

  Carter quietly backed over to the doorway.

  Cort began to ramble, tripping over his words. “I took my insulin with me. I put it in my bag but I lost it in the river when I fell in. I shouldn’t have eaten anything, but…”

  “Shhh,” Nick said, trying to soothe him.

  “I didn’t leave without it. I took plenty. And I had turned us around because I’d lost it.”

  On her way out the door, Carter saw Nick reach down and stroke the boy’s forehead.

  “Uncle Nick, does this mean I’m grounded?”

  “You betcha.” The two laughed. “But if you’re stuck in the house, maybe we could watch some movies together.”

  “Yeah?”

  As the door shut silently, she could hear Cort’s voice getting stronger. “We could start with the Evil Dead series. Bruce Campbell is awesome and I want to be like Sam Raimi when I grow up…”

  * * *

  After she’d told the others that Cort seemed to be on the mend, Carter decided to go home. With all that had happened between her and Nick, she didn’t know where she belonged in the aftermath of the drama, and she needed some time alone. Buddy and Ellie stayed behind with Gertie and Ivan.

  Sitting in her friend’s car, with hands resting on the steering wheel and the key in the ignition, she became lost in thought.

  She’d felt, for that time she had held Nick in her arms, that the distance between them had evaporated. Now she missed him more than ever.

  But she had no real role to play in his life, she told herself. They were less than friends. Ex-lovers of the briefest variety was more like it.

  Forcing herself to start the car, Carter headed out to the road that would take her back around the tip of the lake. As soon as she pulled the Range Rover in front of the mansion, she headed for the mountain.

  Moving through the night mist, she crossed the meadow to the trailhead. Before she disappeared into the forest, she turned back and looked at the majestic house. It was illuminated brightly from lights left on inside, and its golden halo spilled out onto the lawn.

  Soon, she would be gone.

  As she faced the prospect of never seeing Nick again, her heart ached.

  Slipping into the forest, Carter scaled the mountain and found the campsite draped in moonlight. She went to her tent, settled herself on her cot without changing her clothes, and pulled her sleeping bag over her legs. Exhaustion overcame her and she fell into a deep sleep.

  She was awoken in a rush when her tent flap was wrenched open.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Buddy demanded.

  Carter shot up, going breathless from shock. When she’d recovered sufficiently, she said dryly, “I was enjoying a dream where I was rich and famous until you woke me up.”

  “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t be up here alone. What if Lyst had been here when you returned?”

  “He wasn’t. Where’s Ellie?”

  “Taking a shower down there.” Buddy’s expression soften
ed. “She’s still pretty shaken up.”

  “I don’t blame her. When’s the next train?”

  “There’s one at noontime. I came up here to get the stuff she left behind by the river. You want to come?”

  Carter stretched. She hadn’t slept for long enough but knew there would be no more rest for her. “Yeah, sure.”

  “Here.” Buddy handed her a thermos. “I brought this coffee for me but it looks like you need it more.”

  “Thanks.”

  He grumbled and went back outside.

  Carter changed between slugs of coffee, and then they walked up the river to the place where Ellie’s yellow T-shirt was still hanging from a tree limb. With memories of the night before chilling her, Carter put her head inside the small cave.

  “It’s pitch-black in here. You bring a flashlight?”

  “Jeez, I didn’t think to. But I have some matches.”

  “Well, you still get points for showing up with the caffeine.”

  Buddy handed the box to Carter, who lit one and leaned into the space.

  “You see my kid’s backpack?”

  “No, but, man, it smells bad in here.”

  “Rotting earth?”

  “With a strong undercurrent of soggy dog. Ouch!” Carter exclaimed, flapping her hand. She struck another match and took a step inside. The paltry light was sucked up by the pervading darkness. She was peering around when the flame reached her fingers again.

  When she swore out loud, Buddy laughed lightly. “I’m beginning to see a pattern. There’s got to be something we can light on fire around here.”

  “You mean besides my fingertips?”

  When Carter came out swearing one more time, he stuck some brush in her hand and they lit it on fire. The dry leaves and thin network of branches threw off more light and promised to have better staying power.

  Moving in through the entrance, Carter looked around, holding the branch in front of her. She saw the backpack and went toward it, only to have the light catch on something farther back. Leaning down and squinting, she saw a dark shape in the far corner.

  “Did you find it?” Buddy called out.

  “Yeah. But there’s something else.”

  “Don’t tell me it’s alive and has claws.”

  “I don’t know what it is.”