Christmas Under the Northern Lights

by Annie O'Neil

  She could do with getting to her accommodation and slipping into a nice hot bath. Bubbles, a milky cup of tea and a chance to think about her busy day. Bliss. Although sitting down meant she might also think about the fact that she’d just had her heart crushed, her bank account devastated and, in five weeks’ time, would have nowhere to live and no job to go to.

  Cooper pulled the car onto the island’s main road—there was only the one main coastal route, with loads of little twisty lanes shooting off it—to head back to the surgery, where she’d caught a fleeting glimpse of Dr Anstruther earlier in the day. So that she’d be in a better head space when she met him, she kept her dark thoughts at bay by making mental notes on each of their patients, most of whom they would see again either tomorrow or the next day.

  On top of a couple of paediatric calls for some utterly adorable babies—one of whom had a questionable chest infection—there was another elderly patient, bed-bound courtesy of Parkinson’s, a twenty-something chap with compound fractures in each of his femurs from a skiing mishap, a stubborn ‘remote IT consultant’, who was refusing to believe diabetes was the reason behind the circulatory problems in his feet, and a heartbreaking case of a young mum who was losing her battle with metastic bone cancer and whose only dream was to make it through to Christmas so that she didn’t ‘spoil it’ for her children.

  The selflessness of the comment had brought tears to her eyes and sent Cooper straight out through the door on what she was pretty sure had been a pretend errand for ‘some paperwork’. Proof, at least, that the man had a heart.

  No. That wasn’t fair. He had proved himself to be an excellent doctor, slightly shifting his demeanour to suit each patient. She had no doubt he’d be brilliant in a busy A&E ward, every bit the professional, and now that she had spent some time with him she was no longer remotely attracted to him. Nope. Not one bit.

  She hadn’t even considered tucking an errant wave of his dark hair behind one of his ears. Or spent one idle moment wondering what it would be like to run her finger along his stubble to see if it was soft or rough to the touch. Nor had she even once considered what it would be like to touch his lips with her own. One hundred percent not at all.

  Any emotional sparks that had flown had been likely due to her hypersensitivity about...well...everything.

  If only wedding insurance paid out when the groom turned out to be a lying cheat. If only wedding insurance could erase your memory and let you start your adult life all over again—or at least from the point where she’d finally decided to sell the small house where she and her father had lived. That had been the moment when she’d begun to lose sight of herself, as if the house and all its memories, had anchored her to the woman she’d thought she was. The woman she’d wanted to become.

  Rafael had actually laughed when she’d told him what it had sold for. It had been a lot to her, but her modest nurse’s salary hadn’t prevented it from falling into the ‘fixer-upper’ category. She’d put half of the money into a pension that she couldn’t touch for years to come and then, like a complete and utter fool, she’d poured the rest of it into the wedding.

  Rafael only liked the finest things in life, and for once she would be able to give him the very finest. What did it matter, she’d thought, if she spent all the money on their one special day? They’d be pooling resources after they were married and her splurge would make memories for a lifetime.

  Nightmares, more like.

  It was money she now desperately needed for a deposit on a flat somewhere—rented or otherwise—and to get on with her life. Without it she was right royally screwed. But keeping that shame to herself was critical if she wanted to leave here with her dignity intact. Not easy when she was busy biting Cooper’s head off for his comments about money and status.

  She owed him an apology on that front. He wasn’t to know it had been Rafael who had encouraged her to leave her post as a district nurse. It shamed her now, how quickly she’d leapt at all his suggestions. Changing jobs. Moving in together. Planning a discreet but ultra-lush wedding away from prying eyes...

  They’d decided on a tropical island in the end. Staying in one of those amazing houses on stilts above an azure sea. First-class airline tickets. Spa treatments. Champagne on arrival. The lot.

  It physically pained her how eager she’d been to please him. She’d been the shy, mousey type her whole life, and Rafael was the polar opposite. Assured, socially confident, and completely aware that his place in the world was amongst the upper echelons.

  Maybe that had been it...the reason he’d cheated. She’d been too lowly for him. He’d wanted to pull a Prince Charming on her when she’d been quite happy being Cinderella before the ball—minus the stepsisters, obviously.

  ‘You’ve done well today,’ Cooper said, apropos of nothing.

  A warm hit of appreciation bloomed in her chest. A welcome heat, as it was bloody freezing in his car.

  ‘It’s nice getting to know people in their home environment,’ she said. ‘I know paramedics and A&E docs are often seen as the real frontline, but I always like to think house call doctors and district nurses are the true healthcare SAS.’

  ‘How so?’ Cooper asked, sounding genuinely interested.

  She flushed a bit when he nodded at her to go ahead. It was something she could be a bit too passionate about...but what the heck? She’d be gone in five weeks, and it wasn’t as if she was going to be falling into his arms any time soon—or ever—so... ‘Being in a patient’s house makes a big difference in helping diagnose certain health problems.’

  ‘In what way?’ he asked. ‘I find the less I know the person, the easier it is to be clinical about a diagnosis.’

  She made a thoughtful noise, but then shook her head. ‘That just makes it easier to make the hard decisions.’

  Cooper nodded. ‘Go on.’

  ‘I think knowing a person and the environment they live in gives you a much better grounding for understanding a patient. It’s easier to sift through to the real problem.’

  ‘How’s that?’

  ‘Well,’ she said. ‘Take Jimmy, for example.’

  ‘Jimmy Tarbot?’

  He was the diabetic patient they’d seen earlier. He was about her age and, despite the fact he was facing potential amputation of his toes, he refused to acknowledge the fact that what he ate really did make a difference—that his diabetes wasn’t just a case of ‘bad genes’.

  ‘Yes. He’s obviously in denial about how bad his diabetes is.’

  ‘He lets us come in and give insulin shots on a daily basis.’

  ‘Yes, but...’ Audrey didn’t want to step on any toes here. ‘It’s a guaranteed visit from the outside world, isn’t it?’

  Cooper gave her a quick look. ‘Go on,’ he said again.

  ‘He says he wants us to do the jabs because he has a fear of needles, but did he seem remotely freaked out to you?’

  Cooper took a beat before answering in the negative.

  ‘So,’ Audrey continued, ‘he’s obviously hungry for company, but he isn’t making any visible changes to make sure his health changes and he won’t need the injections. Which is a little weird for someone who has a fear of needles, don’t you think?’

  ‘He told me he was on fruit and veg. Lean meat. The whole nine yards.’

  ‘Did you look in his bin?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘There were several bakery bags in there, as well as a pink box which looked suspiciously like a cake box to me. Talbot’s Bakery and Café? That’s on the High Street, isn’t it?’

  Cooper nodded. ‘Aye. But he says he doesn’t go out. That’s why we make these calls rather than give him injections down at the clinic. Because he’s housebound.’

  ‘Oh, I believe he doesn’t go out. But not necessarily because he can’t.’ Audrey began ticking things off her fingers. ‘There’s absolutely n
othing around his car to indicate it’s left the drive recently. The refrigerator only has a pint of milk and a loaf of white bread in it. When I asked him about it, he said he gets one of the lads from the market to drop his shopping by on his way home. I’m guessing that’s a trip via the bakery. Plus,’ she added with a playful smirk, ‘he told me when I asked him. About the needles. That he fakes being afraid of them.’

  ‘I should’ve bought you a detective’s hat—not an elf’s hat.’ Cooper flashed her a smile. It was so warm and genuine, it caught her off guard. As if she’d been hit by an actual ray of sunshine. ‘I have to say, Audrey—and this is no offence to Noreen—but I can see why he’d fake a fear of needles if a beautiful woman like you was calling in on him on a daily basis. Who knows what he tells Noreen?’

  She flushed right up to her hairline. The last thing she’d felt over the past few days was beautiful. Having the comment come from Cooper felt special. He certainly didn’t seem the type to dole out compliments like candies. Then again...the man was wearing a Santa suit.

  Audrey tried shrugging it off. ‘I’m leaving soon. Sometimes it’s easier to tell a complete stranger the truth rather than have the people you care about knowing about your vulnerabilities.’

  She’d run for the hills as soon as her life had fallen to pieces. Hadn’t told a soul. Packed her bags and left. Here, within such a close-knit community, it would be awful to feel ashamed of how or who you were.

  ‘Do you think there’s anything else that’s keeping him hidden away in his house?’

  Cooper thought for a minute, then said. ‘I remember Jimmy from school. Shy as a mouse, he was. Would barely meet your eye when you talked to him. Everyone called him Big Jimmy, and he never seemed to mind, but maybe...’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Well, I think he struggled to find his “crew”. He was never one for team sports. Always playing computer games and coding. Although he was in with the drama students for a while. Working backstage and such. That sort of thing.’

  ‘Perhaps he’s too embarrassed to go out. Never developed a thick skin against the name calling. Can you imagine what it must feel like to go out, knowing everyone is judging your weight, and wanting nothing more than to buy cake?’

  ‘No one likes to be judged.’

  Cooper’s dark change of tone was so abrupt Audrey felt a bit shocked. Was he speaking from experience?

  He gave her a quick glance, then faced the road again. ‘I still don’t see what any of this has to do with a better diagnosis.’

  Audrey huffed out a sigh. Wasn’t it obvious? ‘Now that we know he’s not actually afraid of needles, we need to find ways to get him out of the house. Get him active.’

  Cooper laughed. ‘You like a challenge, don’t you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’re going to try and change a man’s habits? A man who’s not left his house in years maybe? It’s not easy to change a well-worn routine.’

  ‘There are plenty of reasons why a person might change their routine,’ she replied hotly, knowing her answer was fuelled by the fact that the night she’d found Rafael and his lover she’d been meant to be home late. She’d come home early from a regular girls’ night out to surprise him, little knowing she’d be the one getting the surprise.

  Cooper was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, then he gave it a thump. ‘I can see where you’re coming from, but I’d be willing to lay down money that you’ll not convince him to change his ways.’

  She yanked her seat belt away from her chest and whirled on him. ‘What is it with you? One minute you’re all nice and complimentary, and the next you’re taking little jabs, trying to cut me down.’

  * * *

  ‘Hey! Whoa.’ Cooper pulled the car over to the side of the road. ‘I’m trying to get to know you. Figure out how you think.’

  And making a right hash of it.

  ‘Oh, I see, Santa. Is this for your naughty and nice list? Or is it some sort of special island greeting? Building a person up, then tearing them down for your own amusement.’

  He stopped himself from answering that question in the nick of time.

  She was right, to an extent. He’d had a sharp tongue as a boy, and it hadn’t been entirely smoothed as an adult. It was the main reason he’d been deemed ‘not suitable’ management material. Which was fine. He was an ‘in the trenches’ type of doctor. Even so, saying exactly what he thought wasn’t always the wisest course of action. But when you’d been raised in a house where your own parents had freely informed you that they wished you’d never been born...

  It was no excuse to be unkind. He needed all the allies he could get right now. Audrey was a lovely, hard-working woman who clearly wanted to do the very best for their patients. It was inevitable that she saw things from a different angle. And he’d been nothing but bloody awkward all day.

  The Santa costume was his way of putting a shield between himself and the islanders’ judgmental gazes, not something to bring everyone closer together. No one had been blunt enough to say anything, and any condolences for his loss had been whispered out of earshot of Audrey, but he was sure he could sense their judgement in the air. Well-deserved judgement.

  He made a mental note not to ask Audrey for a full psychological assessment unless he wanted a hard, very uncomfortable look in the mirror. He also reminded himself to try not to push her buttons with such regularity. There was obviously a lot more going on beneath the calm, professional surface Audrey had let their patients see. Something he instinctively felt he could relate to if they were to open up to one another. Which, all things considered, was unlikely.

  ‘Please,’ he said, putting out a hand. ‘Accept my apology. I’m used to the rough and tumble of an inner-city emergency department. There’s not much time for manners there. How about we rewind and work on things from... I don’t know...? How about hello? Would that work? Give each other a clean slate and start over?’

  ‘I’ve got a better idea,’ Audrey sniped, instead of laughing and taking his hand as he’d hoped. ‘Why don’t we keep this professional relationship precisely that.’

  ‘What? Professional?’

  She pinned on a smile that definitely didn’t hit her eyes. ‘Top of the class, were you?’

  ‘Not at charm school.’

  The corners of her mouth twitched and then, even though he could see she was trying not to, she finally smiled. A hit of pride sent his heart banging against his ribcage. Teasing a genuine smile out of her made him feel like a medal winner. Maybe that was where he’d gone wrong. Too much time trying to keep his emotions at bay when in actual fact a bit of time in the emotional trenches made moments like this much more rewarding.

  A few minutes later, with a more companionable air between them, they pulled up to the surgery.

  ‘Let’s get you to your accommodation, shall we?’ he said.

  Audrey got of the car and stretched. ‘I could definitely do with a hot shower and a nice warm bed.’

  ‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible.’

  They both turned at the sound of a male voice.

  ‘Dr Anstruther?’ Cooper squinted against the bright security light that popped on as a figure came down the alleyway alongside the high street surgery.

  ‘Hello, there, Coop.’ Dr Anstruther emerged onto the street. ‘Audrey.’

  Cooper was sorry to see the much-respected doctor looking very much his seventy-odd years this evening. ‘What’s going on? Is everything all right?’ he asked, and beckoned to Audrey to join them.

  The silver-haired doctor gave Cooper a clap on the shoulder, then put out a hand to shake Audrey’s. ‘Finlay Anstruther, dearie. I know we met earlier, but we were both so rushed it wasn’t much of a greeting. And I’m afraid you’ll not be getting much of one now.’

  ‘Why?’ Cooper asked when Audrey failed to.


  ‘Erm, well...’ His eyes travelled up to the flat above the surgery, where locum doctors and nurses stayed.

  Cooper’s stomach dropped. ‘Has something happened?’

  Finlay Anstruther winced. ‘Aye. Boiler’s gone. Water pipes burst after that freeze we had the other day, I’m guessing. I’ve not been up there for a few days, but when my Emily went in to give the place a wee clean a couple of hours back—disaster. I was trying to fix it myself, but then I saw the staining on the ceiling of my office down in the surgery—’

  He made a despairing noise. One that didn’t speak well for the safety of working in the surgery.

  ‘Why didn’t you call any of the lads?’

  By ‘lads’, Cooper meant the men he’d been born and raised with, right here on this island. Men taught their trade by their fathers as they’d been taught by their fathers before them. Unlike Cooper who, if he’d followed his own father’s path, would be leaving two orphaned children behind about now.

  Finlay tugged a hand through his shock of white hair. ‘Son, it’s not good. Not good at all.’

  ‘The flat or the surgery?’ Cooper asked.

  ‘Both.’

  ‘Ah...’ This was awkward. ‘Anything we can do about it tonight?’ He fastidiously avoided Audrey’s pained expression while he waited for Finlay’s inevitable answer.

  ‘No, not really, son. Audrey, I’m ever so sorry. Everyone’s up at the Nativity rehearsal, and it’s not as if the flat’ll be habitable any time today or...’

  The fact he’d left the sentence unfinished spoke to just how bad the burst pipe problem actually was.

  * * *

  Audrey looked between the pair of them as if she were watching a game point rally at Wimbledon, and then, unexpectedly, she laughed. ‘It looks like Baby Jesus and I share a similar housing problem. But surely there’s a B&B I can stay in, or a hotel? There’s no need to worry about me.’