Christmas Under the Northern Lights

by Annie O'Neil

  There was, of course, another way to explain why she and Cooper were drawn to each other. They were both broken. She by being hoodwinked and Cooper by having his eye on the wrong prize. But, as Cooper often told his patients, once they were healed they’d be stronger than ever.

  Was that how it would work with her heart? As each day passed she thought less and less of Rafael and more about the life she wanted to live. A life that was honest and simple. A life filled with love and community. A life pretty close to the one she was living now.

  Cooper dipped his head so he could look into her eyes. ‘You snow-averse?’

  ‘No, not at all,’ she said. ‘Let’s go out there and see if there’s enough for a snowball fight.’

  He feigned shock. ‘I thought you’d be more of a snow angel girl myself.’

  The comment flooded her heart with warmth. ‘Maybe a bit of both?’

  ‘Well, let’s find out.’

  * * *

  Out on the High Street, with the lights twinkling, the Christmas tree glowing up at the castle ruins, and the scent of mulled wine coming from The Puffin, Cooper couldn’t help but feel as though he was part of something special. Particularly with Audrey by his side.

  They’d been a proper team over the past few weeks. Not just as work colleagues but as something deeper, beyond the stolen kisses. He felt as if she saw him. The real Cooper. Flaws and all. And yet she still liked him, still stuck up for him whenever a patient began to shake their head about a prognosis or a recommended course of treatment.

  Islanders could be stubborn, but so could Audrey when she believed in something. And he was hoping that something was him. He knew he had a way to go before he was perfect. Marriage material, even. But maybe she’d stay and see him through the transition.

  ‘It’s like being in a real-life snow globe, isn’t it?’ Audrey tipped her head up to the sky and stuck her tongue out to try and catch a snowflake.

  He smiled. The last time he’d thought about a snow globe had been just after he’d kissed her. A moment’s perfection he wondered if he’d ever catch again. Although it looked as if perfection could come in all shapes and forms.

  ‘Want to get some mulled wine?’

  Audrey’s smooth forehead crinkled. ‘Won’t they need us back in the hall?’

  Cooper pointed at the dozen or so people coming out of the church hall, clapping their hands and whooping at the snowfall. ‘I don’t think there’ll be much going on there for the rest of the night.’

  Her serious expression turned bright. ‘In that case, I’d love some mulled wine.’

  A few minutes later, warm cups of spicy red liquid in their hands, they strolled along the cobbled High Street up towards the castle ruins, where they could get a better view of everyone enjoying the midwinter evening.

  Cooper pointed towards a wooden bench. ‘Shall we?’

  ‘Mmm...’ Audrey said through a sip of her wine. ‘Glad I wore my big winter coat today.’

  They both looked at her not so immaculate white down coat.

  Audrey started to giggle. ‘This wasn’t the most practical of choices, was it?’

  ‘Did you buy it especially for coming up here?’

  She tipped her head back and forth, as if letting the question find its own answer.

  Her cheeks coloured and she stared down at the steam spiralling out of her thick paper cup. ‘I know it sounds ridiculous, but after I discovered I was engaged to a cheater I wanted to feel pretty, you know? I know it’s ridiculous, and that what matters most is more than skin-deep, but at the time it felt like knowing I was pretty, that it hadn’t all been lies, would help. And when I put this on for just a moment I felt pretty. Caught a glimpse of the woman I thought I was beneath all the heartache. It didn’t last, obviously, but...’

  Cooper felt the pain in her voice pierce straight through to his own heart. He hated that she’d been made to feel so low. ‘Are you still in love with him?’

  She looked up, startled by the blunt question. Then, to his surprise, she snorted. ‘Not even close.’ She lifted the cup to her mouth again, her lips pushing forward to blow some ripples across the surface of her drink. ‘I think you called it a few weeks back,’ she said, staring at her drink again. ‘I’m not sure I ever really was.’

  He asked the obvious and most painful question. ‘Why did you accept his proposal?’

  Audrey sighed and looked up at the sky, awash with fat floaty snowflakes, now dappling her red knitted hat. ‘I suppose I was a bit at sea... When my dad died a couple of years ago it was kind of— It was like the last link to my life as I’d known it was gone, you know? I trundled on...did my work, had my friends...but there wasn’t that solid link any more. Nothing and no one to prove I’d made a mark on the world.’

  She waved her mittened hand between them.

  ‘I’m not trying to be all “woe is me” or anything. I know my nursing work helps people. But...they’re not family. And in London community is a hard thing to find. Most of my friends were getting married or having babies, so their lives were extra-busy, and being the third wheel in someone else’s life was never my thing. So when Rafael almost literally swept me off my feet I guess I thought I’d better jump at it. Make sure I didn’t miss out on the chance to be a part of something. What I actually did was make myself blind to all the warning signs that it was the wrong man and the wrong life. Square peg. Round hole. Now I know finding the perfect fit is important. No matter how long it takes. Does any of that make sense?’

  He nodded. It did make sense. What she was describing was exactly what it felt like when he’d heard Gertie had passed away. She’d been his anchor through any number of storms. The one family member he’d been able to rely on. When his parents had died he’d kept on waiting to feel like an orphan. He hadn’t. But when Gertie had died, well past the age when he should’ve felt like an orphan...he’d felt like one.

  Would slowing down, the way his gran had suggested, be the answer?

  He held out his hand to Audrey and gave her mittened one a squeeze. He was enjoying getting to know Audrey. The real one. ‘I understand.’

  She turned to him, her eyes brimming with un-spilt tears. ‘I know. That’s why I told you.’

  Cooper’s heart began ricocheting round his ribcage like a pinball. ‘Hey, don’t cry.’

  ‘Don’t worry. They’re happy tears.’

  As she blinked, and the tears found purchase on her cheeks, he brushed them away with the backs of his fingers. She turned her cheek so that his hand was cupping her cheek, then turned it a bit more, pressing her lips to his palm. Still damp with tears, her lashes lifted and her eyes met his.

  Audrey was telling him something beyond the obvious: She was over her ex because there hadn’t really been anything to get over. It had taken a while, but she saw that now. She was also telling him that the feelings he’d hoped they shared were shared. And possibly worth exploring.

  He did the only thing he could. He tipped his head towards hers and kissed her.

  * * *

  The short drive home was silent, but taut with expectation. Audrey couldn’t stop running her fingertips over her lips, trying to recapture the heated magic of their spicy mulled-wine-and-snowflake-laced kiss. It had been slow and intense and, for the first time, it had made her feel complete in a way physical intimacy never had.

  It wasn’t like being absorbed into someone else’s orbit...more like two planets gaining strength from being in a shared orbit. Scary, but exhilarating. And, more pertinently, the kiss had led to a shared look of silent complicity, and then a very brisk walk to the four-by-four to head home.

  Just a few minutes from Gertie’s house her heart began pounding with erratic skips and jumps. Every time she looked at Cooper—which was pretty much the entire drive home—bursts of fireworks pinged and exploded in her belly, in anticipation of more to come.

/>   It put an entirely new spin on her feelings about Christmas and the magic of the season. It hadn’t been ruined for ever, as she’d once thought. No. The magic of the season had been tiptoeing up to her in lovely Cooper-sized steps until she was ready to accept the fact that her life was her own and she was the one in charge of it.

  And right now she wanted to know what it felt like to make love to Cooper MacAskill—with or without the promise of a long-term relationship.

  Life was for living, right? Not for hiding away on remote Scottish islands waiting for life to find her. Which made her laugh. Life had found her. And much more quickly than she would’ve believed.

  ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘This,’ she said. ‘Us.’

  ‘We’re funny?’ Cooper glanced over at her, but only quickly as the snowfall was thickening.

  ‘Not ha-ha funny. It’s more...’ Audrey tapped her fingertips on her chin, trying to find the best word. ‘It’s more the situation.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ Cooper asked, a soft smile playing upon that generously delicious mouth of his. ‘Two lost souls finding one another in the middle of nowhere?’

  ‘Sounds like a country song.’ She laughed. Her smile slipped away, but not the warmth in her heart. ‘In a way I suppose our story is like a song. I wasn’t the happiest of campers a few weeks back. You met me when I was smack-dab in the middle of a pity party.’

  He gave her knee a light squeeze. ‘I think you deserved a bit of a pity party. What you were going through was still pretty raw then, wasn’t it? And it wasn’t exactly as if I was a barrel of laughs.’

  ‘You were amazing to your patients, so I was able to see through all your gruff and bluster.’

  ‘Oh, yeah? And what was it you saw?’

  ‘That you’re a softie. That your heart is kind and true and, while you may not always get it right, you’re man enough to face the things that scare you.’

  ‘Wow.’ Cooper gave his head a big shake. ‘Remind me to call you the next time I need an ego boost.’

  ‘I mean it, Coop. You’re a good man. Take the compliment.’

  He tipped an imaginary hat in her direction, sending another whirl of heat swirling round her bloodstream.

  ‘The truth is...us being forced to stay together and everything...it’s made me face a lot of things I don’t think I would have otherwise,’ she said. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been very good at letting anyone really know me.’

  ‘You’re not alone. I tend to keep my demons to myself. Not that it’s worked all that brilliantly, and I know I need to change.’

  ‘No one’s perfect, Cooper. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.’

  ‘I could say the same to you. I’ve seen you at work and you’re one of the best nurses I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. And that’s not just because I fancy the pants off you.’

  A hot whoosh of desire swept through her as she saw the heat return to his eyes. Cooper did seem to genuinely desire her. And it wasn’t one of those hot flashes of attraction. It was one of those slow-burn attractions that had started as squabbling, turned into shared respect, and now... Now it was definitely mutual.

  But she owed him some more honesty before they started ripping one another’s clothes off.

  ‘The truth is, I don’t think I’ve entirely known who I was most of my life. Daughter. Nurse. Fiancée. I attached myself to roles and tried to find myself in amongst them as I muddled along. Maybe it took having the world I thought I was living in ripped out from under me to understand what I really wanted from life.’

  Cooper shot her another quick glance. ‘And do you know what that is?’

  It was a loaded question. One she’d set him up to ask. Dancing on the tip of her tongue was one word: You. But it was too soon for that. Too soon after having changed her entire life for one man to do exactly the same for another. Even if this time it felt completely different.

  ‘I love nursing. District nursing. I definitely want to continue with that. I suppose I also want to prove to myself I can make it on my own, you know?’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘Well, I have to find a job, for one.’

  ‘You’ve got one. Everyone loves you here.’

  She poked him in the arm. ‘You know as well as I do there’s a clock ticking on that.’

  His thinned lips spoke volumes. He wanted her contract to end about as much as she did.

  Unexpectedly, she saw his mouth curve into a chipper smile. ‘There’s always Glasgow.’

  He’d mentioned that before. Was it his way of saying he wanted her close? Wanted to see if they could explore what was happening between them without a time pressure?

  ‘What’s so great about Glasgow?’

  ‘About a million things I couldn’t tell you.’ He huffed a self-deprecating laugh.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I’ve always been too busy working to enjoy it.’

  She saw something flash in his eyes. Something similar to what she’d begun to feel here on Bourtree. As if she’d come home.

  ‘Is that something you’d like to do? Enjoy where you live?’

  He gave the steering wheel a few taps as he considered his answer. ‘It is,’ he answered solidly, and then, more cheekily, as he pulled the car into the drive and turned off the ignition, he said, ‘And right now I’d like to enjoy where I live with you.’

  Audrey’s body grew tingly as the charged sensual atmosphere that had hummed between them returned. Cooper leant across the car, cupped his hand along her jawline and gave her a deep, hungry kiss. One she returned with every fibre of her being.

  * * *

  ‘I’m falling for you, Audrey,’ Cooper whispered against her lips when their languorous kisses came to an end. ‘Every time I look at you I feel more alive than I have in years. Being with you, working with you, even making awful Christmas biscuits with you... It brings out the best in me, but I still worry that it isn’t good enough.’

  ‘For what?’ She tipped her forehead against his.

  ‘For offering you a future. You know...together.’

  ‘Oh, Coop.’ She took off her mittens, weaving her warm fingers through his cold ones. ‘I don’t think either of us knows what the future has in store for us.’

  The way she said it implied that not knowing what the future held wasn’t necessarily a deal-breaker.

  ‘So...’ He ran his thumb along the back of her hand. ‘What are you saying, exactly?’

  A saucy smile slipped onto her lips as the tip of her tongue swept the length of them. ‘That maybe we should enjoy what we have right now. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find out slow and steady is every bit as satisfying as fast and furious? Or maybe it’ll turn out we’re not a match, but we’ll have had fun finding out.’

  She leant in and gave him a slow, spicy, and decidedly wicked kiss. One that promised much more than a snog in a vehicle that was quickly being covered in snow.

  ‘Should we enjoy the slow and steady us in the warm?’ He nodded towards the house.

  Audrey laughed, and they climbed out of the car and bundled into the house.

  The second the door was closed it was as if a switch had been flicked between the pair of them. Gone was the need to talk and explain. In its place was pure, undiluted, pent-up desire.

  Cooper took hold of the zip at the top of Audrey’s coat, locked eyes with her and said, ‘I’ve been waiting a long time to do this.’

  And he had. More than he’d realised. Yes, he’d felt a hit of attraction when he’d first laid eyes on her, but what he felt now was deeper. He began to ease the zip down centimetre by centimetre. By the time he got to what was underneath it he knew his blood flow would be at volcano-level heat.

  ‘You’re sure?’ he asked as he teased the zip past the arc and dip of her breasts.

 
Her breath caught as she nodded, her body organically arching towards his. ‘I’m sure.’

  Suddenly the whole waiting game, the teasingly slow drop of the zip, became too much. He pulled it down to the bottom of her ankle-length coat in one swift move, then stood up, slipped it off her shoulders, picked her up and carried her up the stairs to his room.

  Boots, jeans and her jumper were all discarded in a matter of seconds. And when Audrey stretched out on his cranberry-coloured sheets she looked like the type of Christmas present that left very little to the imagination, but was more than enough to send surges of desire arrowing straight below his belt buckle. She had on nothing more than a lacy wisp of a brassiere and some panties. Panties which, if he wasn’t mistaken, had a pattern of snowflakes dappled along them.

  She got up on her knees and reached out to where he was standing beside the bed. She tugged him closer and button by button undid his shirt. Her hand skidded across his nipples, instantly rendering them taut with the anticipation of her hot mouth upon them.

  She wagged her index finger. Uh-uh, it said. Not yet.

  Lifting her dark brown eyes to meet his, she began to undo his belt buckle. Flames licked southward each time her fingertips touched his bare skin. When she pulled the belt out of the loops in one long, unhurried movement, he could feel the pulse of his longing press against his jeans. As she began to undo the buttons on his trousers it was all he could do to contain a moan of desire.

  When her hand brushed along the length of his arousal, he found his voice. ‘Now it’s your turn.’

  He slipped his jeans off, tucked his arm around Audrey’s waist and laid her out alongside him on the bed, so that he could feel the shared heat of their desire. She tangled her legs around his, pressing into him as she began to kiss him with a hunger he easily matched.

  He pulled his fingers through her hair and gave her a deep kiss, tasting, exploring and loving—yes, loving—how being with her felt both brand-new and wonderfully familiar. As if they’d both known somewhere, deep within them, that this was the person they had always been waiting for.