“Not much of that happened in our house.” Even as she let the words slip, the ice-cream memory returned and with it a few others of sitting in this very diner, having supper. Joking, laughing. And then her aunt’s vague comment about her mother came to mind.
“You’re frowning again,” Finn said, reaching across and taking Jodie’s hand. “What are you thinking about?”
“My aunt said something about my mother. But she never finished the statement.” Jodie looked up at Finn, curious now. “Did my dad ever talk about my mom to you?”
He shook his head. “Not that I can think of. Just that he was divorced and she passed away four years later. Why?”
Jodie shrugged. “Just wondering. I’ll have to quiz Aunt Laura later.” She didn’t know if it would help. But what her aunt had said made her dig deeper into her own past. Wondering what that initial fight between her parents had been about.
“And what do you think you’ll have to eat?” Finn asked, changing the subject. “Not that the menu has changed much over time.”
“My aunt and my sister always tell me I pick unhealthy stuff, so this time I’m going with soup and salad,” Jodie said, glancing over the laminated menu. “What does George have for the soup of the day?”
“It’s Friday, so I’m guessing clam chowder,” Finn said. “And the salad would be spinach avocado with feta cheese.”
“The fact that you know the menu so well makes me think you eat here too often,” Jodie said. “Don’t you have a kitchen at your place?”
“It’s not my place yet, but yeah, I do.”
“Do you ever use said kitchen?”
Finn gave her a warm smile that made her curl her toes. “Why don’t you come over on Sunday after church and see for yourself?”
Church followed by lunch at Finn’s place?
Jodie hesitated, wondering if she was ready to do that. Practicing the piano at church the other day had been enough. Actually attending? Being reminded of how sinful she was? Did she want to put herself through that?
“I’d like to see your place. Could I meet you there instead? At about noon?”
Finn’s smile dimmed just enough to make her realize he was disappointed.
She wanted to explain, but wasn’t ready to expose herself like that. People in Saddlebank had long memories, and an out-of-control sheriff’s daughter had raised a lot of eyebrows, brewed a lot of gossip.
Brooke’s words still whispered through her consciousness.
Be careful.
Jodie would do well to heed that warning.
* * *
Finn wasn’t going to be discouraged by Jodie’s reluctance to go to church. One step at a time, he reminded himself, as he looked back down at the menu in front of him.
Besides, he wasn’t sure himself how this would end.
Then, what are you doing all his for?
Because, deep down, he clung to the hope that Jodie was still the girl he had at one time been attracted to. Not the girl he had seen hanging around with Jaden Woytuk the rest of the summer, driving like a maniac, flouting the rules and partying.
Something besides her getting grounded that summer had happened somewhere along the way, and Finn was sure if he found out what, he would have a better understanding of who Jodie was now.
“Are you ready to order?” Allison, George’s sister and full-time waitress, arrived at their table.
“I think I’m going with a burger and fries,” Finn said, setting the menu aside.
“Great. Now I’ll be suffering food envy.” Jodie scrunched up her nose, which made Finn smile. “But I’m going to be strong and stick to my guns, mix my metaphors and hold the course. The main course that is. I’ll have the soup-and-salad special.”
Allison chuckled, then left, taking their menus.
Jodie leaned forward, one of her dangling earrings catching on her hair.
“Where did you get those?” he asked, reaching across to untangle it.
“Some hard bargaining with a young man in a bazaar in Jordan.” Jodie flushed as Finn took the opportunity to gently touch her cheek, then pulled his hand back.
“What was in Jordan?”
“I went to see the lost city of Petra. Check out Aaron’s tomb. Biblical dude. Moses’s brother and spokesman.”
“You know your Bible.”
“I know my Bible characters,” she corrected.
He wondered why she sounded so defensive.
“So what was it like? Jordan?”
“Hot. Challenging. Interesting. I like how traveling broadens my thinking. Helps my perspective.”
“Where would you go next?” He asked the question casually, as if it didn’t matter, when he was surprised how much it did. Her plans for another trip meant she would leave. And he didn’t like to think about that.
Jodie fiddled with her earring, flipping it around as she considered his question. “I don’t know.”
Her response kindled a flash of hope.
She gave him a faint smile, then shrugged. “But that’s a conversation for another time. Tell me about your place. How did you find it? What do you plan to do with it?”
“Do you have a couple of days?”
She laughed, resting her elbows on the table, looking genuinely interested. “Tell me.”
“I’m renting it right now. As for what I plan to do with it, I think I’ll save that for when you come over to visit.”
She looked as if she was about to say more when Finn heard someone calling his name.
Brooke came walking toward them carrying a stack of papers. “Do you have a minute?” she asked, looking at Jodie, then him.
He was about to say no, but didn’t have a chance. Brooke just barreled on.
“I’m so stuck,” she said. “I was supposed to make decorations for the church festival, but Anita ducked out on me. I can’t find anyone to help. Abby is busy taking pictures. Keira, whom I can usually count on, is too pregnant. Heather is gone all next week.” She pushed her hair back with one hand. “Do you know anyone?”
Finn looked at Jodie, disappointed that Brooke didn’t even glance her way. Brooke was one of the kindest people he knew and probably didn’t intentionally freeze her out. But he saw from the way Jodie looked down that she might have felt the unintended slight.
“What about you, Jodie? Would you be willing to help?” he asked.
“She probably doesn’t have the time,” Brooke protested.
“Actually, I do have time,” Jodie said, surprising him and Brooke, too, judging from the way her eyes widened. “What do you need help with?”
“Um, well...are you sure?” she stammered.
“Yes. Just give me a glue gun or sewing machine. I’m sure I can’t mess it up too badly.” Jodie’s smile seemed false, and as Finn glanced from the one woman to the other, he felt a tension between them. He had noticed the same awkwardness when Brooke had come to the church. At that time he had chalked it up to the kiss he and Jodie had just shared.
But now he wasn’t sure. It seemed as if something else was going on.
“Okay. I guess that could work. Can you come Monday?”
“Sounds good.”
“Will you need me?” Finn asked.
“Not until we’re ready to set up, which I wanted to do on Thursday, the day before the actual concert.” Brooke turned her attention back to him, but Finn could tell by the way she wrinkled her nose that she was uncomfortable.
“I’ll need to check my schedule, but I should be able to make it.” This concert cut deeply into his horse training time, but, he had to admit, so did spending time with Jodie. And training her horses didn’t get him any income, either.
But as he glanced over at her, he knew it was well worth it.
“I�
��ll leave you two alone, then,” Brooke said, clutching her papers to her chest, her expression confused as she looked over at Jodie. Then she left.
Finn watched her leave, surprised to see George standing outside the kitchen, doing the same. He retreated back to his domain, whistling.
“Looks as if things are on again between those two lovebirds,” Finn said, turning back to Jodie. But she wasn’t looking at him; she was looking out the window, following Brooke’s progress down the street. “So how do you and Brooke know each other? You didn’t go to school here.”
“I saw her off and on over the summers. She was friends with Keira, and Keira would hang out with Lauren and Erin.” He saw a glimpse of sorrow in Jodie’s face. “Part of a past I don’t want to talk about,” she said.
The determined tone of her voice told him he wasn’t getting any more out of her. He also knew he didn’t have the right to push for more information.
But if she kept all these secrets, how was he to get to know her better? How were they supposed to get anywhere in this relationship?
And could he even call what they had now a relationship?
Chapter Eleven
“So here’s my share, tip included,” Jodie said, pushing some bills across the table.
Finn looked at her as if she had given him something contagious. Then he shoved the money away. “Take this back right now,” he said with a note of disgust.
Jodie laughed as she pushed it back at him. “Seriously. I want to pay my share.”
“I’m sure you do, but I don’t want you to.” He ignored it, got up and walked to the front counter before she could say anything more.
She grinned, pocketed some of the bills and left a few behind for her own tip. She’d worked as a waitress enough to appreciate how welcome a good tip was. She suspected Finn would tip as well, so Allison would be well paid by them.
She joined him at the counter while George rang up their order. The tall, lanky man was smiling, another surprise. He used to run the diner with his father, and Jodie remembered a sulky twenty-year-old who looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else but in Saddlebank.
She had always identified with him.
“Have a fantastic evening,” George chirped as they left. “Thanks for choosing the Grill and Chill.”
Clearly he was in a good mood, and Jodie wondered if it had anything to do with Brooke’s visit.
While they were inside the diner, the sun had dipped below the mountains and dusk had fallen over the town. The streetlights were beginning to glimmer on. Jodie felt a sense of settling down, as if pulling a blanket around oneself, getting ready for the evening.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” she asked. “Down to the river? I haven’t been there in ages.”
“That’d be great. Hopefully I won’t have to bust up a party there,” Finn said.
Jodie caught his grin, but behind that came a surge of shame at the thought of all the parties she’d attended farther down the path.
They walked past her car to the end of the street, then turned left toward the river. The street curved, and soon they arrived at the walking trail the Chamber of Commerce had set up in a bid to get more tourists to Saddlebank.
Jodie lifted her face to the sky, letting the cool breeze coming off the water wash over her.
“Did you miss this place? When you were away?” Finn asked.
She glanced sidelong at him, then nodded. “Knoxville was home, in a way, but my first recollections are of the ranch and this town.” She laughed. “In fact, when I stopped by Mercy Park, I had a good memory of me and my family. Eating ice cream there with my mom and dad. Laughing.”
“Just one memory?”
The question in his voice bothered her. “For now.”
“Was it that hard? Coming here every year?”
“I guess every year I hoped it would be different, but it wasn’t. In fact, the last few years it was harder than ever. I know I wasn’t the best daughter, but it’s hard to build a relationship when you are constantly being told what a horrible person you are.” Jodie’s voice faltered and Finn slipped his arm around her.
She wanted to pull away. Everything she said broke down another bit of Finn’s esteem of her father.
“Was it always bad? Your relationship with him?”
She sensed another underlying question in his voice.
Was he truly that bad or is it just your skewed idea of the relationship?
Jodie held Finn’s gaze and tried to see the situation through his eyes. Party girl who was out and about every night. Solid, dependable man who was part of the community. A sheriff who was good at his job.
Doubt shimmered in the back of her mind and she tamped down the temptation to tell Finn everything. She doubted he would believe her and she couldn’t stand to see that on his face.
“Anyway, that was a good memory.”
“I’m glad you’re remembering some good ones,” he said.
“Maybe after two months here I might remember more.”
“Or make a few more,” Finn said.
She gave him a sidelong glance, disconcerted to see him looking at her, his expression intent. She felt hope and possibilities building up in her chest.
“Always good to have those.”
They walked along in silence, Finn’s presence comforting and appealing at the same time. Then, after a few moments, he stopped. She turned toward him, anticipation thrumming through her.
“I don’t think I told you how beautiful you look today,” he said, stroking her hair away from her cheek, fingering her earring.
Jodie couldn’t stop the blush warming her face. “Can’t hear that too much, I guess.”
“I could say it again, if you want.”
She just smiled, knowing that asking would make her seem vain.
“I know there’s something else I’d like to say again.” He paused a moment. “Come to church with me.”
“Church? I don’t know...” In spite of her hesitation, she held the idea, testing it.
“I know you used to go,” he continued. “I’m sure that something, in all those years, stuck. Some glimmer of God and of how He sees you?”
“Well, that’s part of the problem. I’m not sure how God sees me.” God and the rest of Saddlebank, she thought, remembering how Amy Bernstein had spoken to her.
“Come and find out,” Finn urged. “At least come and sing some songs. I know you love music.”
This meant a lot to him. Finally, she conceded. “Okay. I can do that.”
Finn wrapped both his arms around her. “Great. And then lunch at my place.”
Her heart fluttered at the thought. Suddenly things seemed to be moving quickly. She was just catching her balance in this new place she had come to.
But as she looked up at him, saw the hope in his expression, she knew her attending church was important to him. Right now, she didn’t want any more barriers to their relationship.
She grew still, her heart slowing.
Was that what was happening? Did she dare think that far?
Then Finn stroked her hair, as if easing away her questions.
She had to let go for now, she reminded herself. Just take it one step at a time.
“Sure, I’ll come to church and then to your place,” she said. “How could I miss out on the chance to have a deputy sheriff cook for me?”
“Cook might be a stretch. But I know how to handle a frying pan.”
Jodie laughed and nodded. “This I’ve got to see,” she said.
“I look forward to amazing you.”
Then, to her surprise and pleasure, he bent and brushed a sweet, gentle kiss over her lips.
She felt her heart quicken, but then a tiny whisper of concern flitted through
her mind.
Be careful. You don’t know what lies ahead.
* * *
Finn stood in the foyer of the church, his anticipation growing as the doors opened, then sinking again when a husband, wife and two children entered. The clock over the elevator told him that in two minutes he would have to go into the service by himself.
He checked his disappointment. He had been so sure she would show up. Though he knew it would be difficult for her, he had hoped Jodie would come to church anyway and find some comfort.
And maybe, just maybe, she could find her way to forgiving her father.
The door opened and this time he saw the silhouette of a young woman, but it was only Brooke. She gave him a brief greeting, hurrying past him to the stairs leading to the basement, carrying a large plastic tub full of colorful paper. He guessed she was teaching Sunday school to the youngsters this morning.
When he heard the singing group starting up, he knew it was time to go. He pushed down his own disappointment, trying to be understanding. He had time, he reminded himself. Jodie wasn’t leaving for at least another month or so.
The thought made his stomach churn. They weren’t there yet, and if he were honest with himself, he still had some concerns. But for now, he was willing to see where things went.
Just before he turned to walk into the sanctuary, he saw a head of dark hair, a flash of purple, and then there she was.
“Hey there,” he said, happiness suffusing him when Jodie walked up to him.
She wore her hair loose, flowing over the shoulders of a bright purple sleeveless dress shot through with shining threads. Over her shoulders she had thrown a gauzy scarf edged with silver. Hoops hung from her ears, matching the silver shoes she wore.
She looked exotic and beautiful.
“I like your dress.”
“Mumbai,” she whispered, glancing nervously around the now empty foyer. “Am I too late?”
“Just on time,” Finn said, offering his arm.
She took it, smiling, and together they walked up the stairs and into the church sanctuary.
The usher led them to an empty spot, and as Finn stood aside for Jodie to enter, he saw her falter. He glanced down the pew, wondering what had made her hesitate.
Wrangling the Cowboy's Heart Page 11
