A Safe Surrender: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Donnelley Brothers Book 2)
Page 6
Kyle frowned, his hands fisting at his sides. “Hey,” he crooked his neck, bowing his head down to look into my face. “I’m sorry for the tone, Kami.” He sighed heavily. “You go on inside and I’ll bring in the groceries.”
“The keys are in my purse.”
“Oh,” he turned to open the back door before pulling my purse from the cab. “Here, I’ll be right behind you.”
“Thanks.”
Turning my back to Kyle, I started walking toward the little cabin. As I climbed the steps, I heard the snow crunching behind me and I knew Kyle was close. Plucking my keys from the depth of my purse, I unlocked the door and pushed my way inside. Flicking on the lights, the cabin was illuminated in a soft amber glow. Kyle kicked off his cowboy boots on the mat before moving through my little space to place the groceries on the kitchen counter. By the time he looked up at me, I was still in my jacket, but I’d taken off my boots.
“It’s pretty cold in here.” He announced, glancing around the cabin. “You, uh, want me to make you a fire?”
“Um,” I shrugged. “If you want to you can, I suppose.”
“I will.” He nodded, marching decidedly from the kitchen. “Who set you up in here?”
“Reese and Logan.” I answered as I shrugged from my jacket. “Why?”
“I’ll have to talk to Logan. He should have brought some wood in for you.” At the wide-eyed stare I gave him, Kyle shook his head. “He didn’t even show you where the wood is, did he?”
“Um,” I frowned. “I’m sure I could have found it.”
Kyle’s jaw clenched. “He should have shown you.”
“It’s fine, really.”
“It isn’t.”
“Please don’t say anything to Logan.” I asked sincerely. “I really don’t want to cause any tension. I just don’t need it in my life right now.”
I don’t know if it was the pleading in my eyes or the words themselves, but Kyle’s clenched jaw softened and the tension in his eyes eased. “Alright, but if you need anything, you’ve got to ask me.”
“Thanks.” There was no way I’d go running to Kyle for anything. I’d manage on my own and if I couldn’t, then this wasn’t the place for me. It was that simple.
I could see by the way Kyle watched me turn to my bags of groceries that he didn’t believe I would come to him, but that was just fine with me. I didn’t need to rely on a man. I’d already been proven once how devastating the consequences of relying on someone else could be. I was smart enough to learn from my mistakes.
I heard Kyle open and close the front door of the cabin, but I didn’t look up from the groceries. By the time I’d put away all my food, I was starting to wonder if Kyle was still planning on making me a fire, or if he’d went home. It was pretty chilly in the cabin and I could hear the howling of the winter wind outside the walls. The thought of replacing the chilling howl with the sound of crackling coals was more than enticing.
Padding across the living room floor, I was just about to open the door to peek outside when it opened and Kyle stepped inside with an armful of wood. His cheeks were red and the tip of his nose was pink from the bite of the cold.
He kicked off his boots. “Holy shit.” His eyes flickered to mine as though to apologize for his language. “It’s cold out there.”
I nodded, hugging my sweater tighter around my body. “It’s winter.”
“It’s the wind more than anything.” He knelt down to the fireplace, setting the logs inside. “Damn storms.”
I lowered myself onto the couch, curling into the corner as I watched Kyle work. He really was a beautiful man, in a very manly way. Where Rhett was pretty with his blond shaggy hair, blue eyes, and tall thin body, Kyle was dark and masculine. Kyle was all hard edges, dark features, and muscles, but he emitted an air of integrity that made me feel trusting of him. His every move was so precise and thought out, I felt confident that Kyle wouldn’t be one to ‘lose control’ the way Rhett had so often. Powering my phone on, I glanced down at the time. It was late. It was almost eleven o’clock and a man I had just met was making a fire for me.
What was the etiquette for this situation?
Kyle turned around as I placed my phone on the coffee table, forgetting to turn it off. I watched his lips part and I suddenly feared the possibility of being left alone. Beating him to it, I hurried to speak. “Can I make you a cup of tea?” I blushed, at the sight of his eyes widening. “Do you even drink tea?”
Kyle rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I drink tea.”
Standing, I awkwardly folded my arms over my chest. I stuttered, “Um, if you have to get home to, um, someone, or something, I understand.”
Kyle grinned as his eyes watched my face get redder and redder by the second. “I’ve got no one to get home to, Kami. Just surprised at the invite, is all.” He explained. “I’d like a cup though, if the offers still on the table.”
Smiling shyly, I nodded. “Yeah, it’s still on.”
With a racing heart, I moved into the kitchen to search the pantry for the kettle I’d found earlier. Pouring water from the tap, I plugged it in and waited for it to boil.
Kyle’s voice sounded. “There’s a Rhett calling you.”
I felt the blush in my cheeks pale and every muscle in my body tense at Kyle’s words. Without thinking, I rushed to my phone, turning it off. Setting it back down on the coffee table, I realized I was still in Kyle’s presence and he was watching me through dark, all seeing eyes.
“Sorry about that.” I forced a smile and I had a pretty good feeling Kyle knew it wasn’t real.
“Who’s Rhett?”
“He’s my ex.” I stated bluntly. My tone was closed to further questions, but that didn’t seem to matter to Kyle.
“He still call you a lot?”
I turned my back on him to walk into the kitchen. I suddenly regretted asking Kyle to stay for tea, but no matter my regret, I still didn’t want to be alone. The truth of the matter was that I had never been alone. Since I was eleven, I hadn’t had a bedroom to myself. I didn’t want him to stay the night, but for just a little while longer, knowing someone was around was a security I felt I needed.
“What kind of tea do you want?” I asked over my shoulder. “I have green, chamomile, and earl gray.”
“Gray, please.” Kyle said before he added. “I don’t want to overstep my bounds,”
“Then don’t.” I said simply, handing him a mug.
“If you change your mind and you want to talk, I’m here.”
“Okay.” I spoke the word sharper than I’d intended, but Kyle didn’t even flinch. Instead, he just watched me and unlike Rhett, who I could fool any time of day or night, I had a feeling Kyle couldn’t be so easily fooled. For some reason, Kyle, with his dark eyes, could see right through my walls of protection.
He took a sip of the tea, “It’s good tea, Kami.”
Rubbing my brow, I sighed. “I’m sorry I was so sharp, Kyle, I just,”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” He assured. “My feelings aren’t that touchy.”
Looking down into the steaming tea, I nodded. “Thank you.”
Kyle moved into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Not wanting to sit so close beside him, I took the chair beside the fireplace. Even though I wasn’t looking at Kyle to verify that his eyes were on me, I knew they were. I could feel them. The weight of them on my body was a weight I doubted I would ever forget.
“So, what made you decide to come all the way out here for a job?”
That was a safe enough question, but it made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Clearing my throat, I replied. “I like the country, but I’ve never really had the pleasure of being out here. I figured it was time for a change and this just seemed like the perfect one at the perfect time.”
“Why did you choose mountain climbing?” He asked, adding. “I know we were hiring for white water rafting and horse back riding as well.”
I shrugged.
“I guess, that out of the three, mountain climbing just seems like something I want to learn. It just seems like it would be rewarding.”
“It is.” He nodded. “I’ve always loved mountain climbing.”
“Why?”
“Probably because I’m pretty bad at conversation and when you’re climbing, there isn’t really a lot of time for conversation.”
I cocked my head. “You seem pretty good at conversation to me.”
“Yeah,” his eyes pinned on me and I felt my blood warm. “It’s just something about you.”
My breath caught. “Oh,”
He set his empty mug down on the coffee table. “Thanks for the tea, Kami.” He tipped his hat. “I’d better be going.”
“I guess it’s late,” I stood, clutching my mug tight between my hands. “Thanks for everything, Kyle.”
“I had a good time.” He offered a smile. “I’ll see you around.”
“Okay, bye.”
I watched as Kyle pulled on his boots before walking out the door, leaving me alone in the little cabin that felt so much cozier with him here.
Chapter 7
I stepped out of the shower before wrapping a pale green towel around my body. The mirror was fogged over from the steam of my shower, so I was unable to see myself as I placed some toothpaste on my toothbrush. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get my car today, but I had to get myself ready first. As soon as I was clothed and dry, I’d call Reese, and like a puppy with its tail between its legs, I’d admit to her that I’d hit the ditch.
I was so not looking forward to that conversation and I could only hope that Reese wasn’t one of those ‘I told you so’ people.
Rinsing my mouth of my toothpaste, I turned off the water and jumped at the sound of banging on my front door. Who in the world would be here this early? It was only eight in the morning.
Then I thought of Reese. If that woman thought she could come over here for her morning shot of caffeine, than she was delusional. There was no way I was giving her coffee if there was any potential possibility of me having to face her growly fiancé. The man kinda scared me. I mean, he was nice and all, but his intensity was just off the charts.
Another loud knock sounded through the space, bringing me back to the here and now. Tightening my towel around my body, I raced through the hallway to the front door. Without checking to see who stood on the other side, I pulled it open and gasped, slamming it closed in Kyle’s shocked face.
Through the door, I called. “I’m so sorry!”
“It’s all good.” Kyle answered. “I, uh, brought your car.”
“Really!” The excitement in my voice was unmistakable and I thought I heard him chuckle, but I couldn’t be certain through the heavy wood of the door. “Count to ten and come in. I’m going to go get changed.”
“One, two, three,” I didn’t catch the rest. I was already closing the door of my small bedroom.
Racing through the articles of clothes I had, I decided on a pair of leggings and a long, baggy gray sweater. My body was a little more sore today than it had been the night before and I wanted to wear comfortable clothes. Brushing my hair, I quickly blow-dried it before greeting Kyle in the living room for a second time.
“Good morning.” I breathed and Kyle turned around from where he’d started a fire for me for the second time in a matter of twelve hours. “Thanks for starting another fire.”
“No problem.” His eyes froze on my face and his hands curled into tight fists. One moment, the man was across the room from me, and the next, he was standing an inch away from me. My shoulder blades were pressed into the wall behind me, and as he picked up his hand, I cringed inward. It was habit - nothing more - but it set a flame of rage in his dark eyes. “Kami, the bruises on your face,” he swallowed, as though having a difficult time forcing them from his throat. “They’re not from the car accident.”
Shit, shit, shit! I’d completely forgotten, in my panic to get ready, to put makeup on. “Kyle,”
“Don’t lie to me.” He growled through a tense breath. “Was it your ex, Rhett?”
“They’re not from the accident.” I said. It was the only way I could admit this aloud to him. I felt so terribly ashamed and weak. Here I was in this strong man’s presence, and I was nothing more than a battered and bruised animal with trust issues and a low self-esteem. As much as I wanted to be worthy of his concern, I didn’t feel that I was. My eyes were moist with tears and my heart was breaking in my chest. Not only had Rhett hurt me physically and scarred me mentally - he’d wounded my pride. Even from a distance, Rhett and his abusive ways could damage me. “Please,” I whispered to the floor between our feet. “Stop looking at them, Kyle.”
Warm thick fingers slid beneath my chin, gently lifting my face, forcing my eyes to meet his. There was a storm of rage fighting with compassion for dominance in the depths of his ebony eyes. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Kami.” His words sounded like a declaration. “You left. Do you know how strong that makes you?”
I couldn’t help it, the sting of tears misting my eyes turned into a waterfall. Sobs wracked my body and Kyle sighed, pulling me tight against his chest. Pressing my face into his chest, I cried as he rubbed my back. There was nothing sexual about this comfort Kyle provided to me. In this moment, he was the strength I needed to stand on my feet and fight the demon of my wounded self-esteem. Kyle was right; I wasn’t weak and worthless for having been that woman. I was strong, because as hard as it had been, I’d left Rhett. And through the hardships that lay ahead, I would never return to Rhett - it was because of that, that I was strong.
Pulling away from Kyle, I sniffled. “Thank you, Kyle. You’re,” my voice croaked. “You’re a good man.”
He didn’t smile, but I could see through the storm in his eyes that my words affected him. Lifting his hands, he wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”
I laughed, but it was a pathetically sad sound. “Any man that does like to see a woman cry isn’t a man at all.”
“You’re very right.” He nodded. “Kami, was it your ex?”
I nodded, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Voicing those words aloud was so much harder than most people knew. Where many people longed for pity, those who have truly experienced abuse ache for someone to look at them with strength. Admitting that the abuse has happened can make a woman feel as though she’s weak and even deserving. Thinking back, I probably could have fought him and maybe even put up a good fight, but I hadn’t. Not once had I tried to stop a blow to the face, a pull of my hair, a squeeze of my throat, or even his body pushing inside mine - but maybe I could have. It’s that maybe that will haunt me till the end of my days. Maybe I could have stopped him, if only I’d tried. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so terribly worthless.
“Please, stop looking at me like that.” I pleaded.
“How?” Kyle stiffened, his hands still on my face, caressing the swollen skin beneath my eyes from my tears. “How am I looking at you?”
“Like you pity me,” I gasped on the word ‘pity’.
“I know I don’t know you, Kami, but I loathe your ex for what he’s done to you.” His eyes pierced mine and even though I ached to look away - to look anywhere else, really - I couldn’t. “He had a beautiful, strong, determined woman, and he broke her down with his fist so absent of strength.”
I snorted spitefully. “That’s where you’re wrong. He was actually very strong.”
“No, he wasn’t.” Kyle shook his head. “Strength isn’t measured by how hard you can beat a woman, Kami. He had advantages. I’d bet money he towered over you, like I do. I’d bet his fist was twice the size of yours, like mine. But the difference is that, unlike him, who undoubtedly used his height to overpower you, I tower over you and I feel the burning desire to shelter and protect you with my body. With my fist twice the size of yours, all I want to do is use it to shield you from pain. That’s how strength is measured, Kami. Your ex was just
a little boy playing at being a man.”
Leaning my head back against the wall, I pulled in a deep breath of air. It tasted like Kyle’s scent - the perfect mixture of spicy and fresh. I didn’t open my eyes as I spoke. “You’re a good man, Kyle. Men like you don’t exist in the masses.”
“You’re wrong again.” He said gruffly. “There are good men all over the world. You’ve just gotta find them.”
“Harder said than done.” I opened my eyes to find Kyle looking down at me intensely. There was so much feeling in his eyes, I felt caught, ensnared in their chocolate pools. “Do you want some coffee?”
He smirked. “Changing the subject?”
I nodded, but I didn’t move away from the wall and Kyle hadn’t moved from in front of me, where, if he placed his arms around me, he could cage me against the wall. It was funny how very unafraid I was of Kyle caging me inside his embrace. It should terrify me after the horrors I experienced in the name of Rhett’s embrace, but it didn’t. I sensed something good in Kyle that I had never sensed in any other. The man was sturdy. He was solid. His beliefs held roots and his actions were their stems.
Kyle was, no doubt, a good man right down to the very soul of his being.
Shaking the thought from my mind, I nodded. “Uh, yeah.” My heart was beginning to pound at his nearness. “It was getting a little personal.”
Kyle didn’t move away, but he nodded. “Is personal bad?”
“No.” I said hesitantly. I thought this man said he was shy? “I would just prefer to get to know people slow from now on.”
His eyes held mine for what felt like hours, before he nodded. “I’d like a coffee.”
As Kyle moved away, I breathed a breath of release. “I’m going to have to make a pot.”
“At least your feet won’t get frost bite from the floors.” He stated matter of fact. “You should try to feed your fire throughout the night when its cold like this.”
“Really?” I asked over my shoulder. “There’s an actual heater, though.”