Deep Sea Dead

by Lori Avocato

  Edie’s hand froze. “Yeah. Glad you are too.”

  That was the only insincere thing I’d heard her say yet.

  “I hope it was nothing contagious.” I watched her eyes and tried to remember if pupils constricted or dilated when someone was lying.

  In the dim light I really couldn’t tell, and besides, the light would affect her pupils. That much I knew from nursing head-injury patients.

  She looked across the room, then started to wipe again. “No. I don’t think Remy, that was his name…is his name…Ha. I’m getting so tired tonight,” she mumbled.

  It wasn’t even ten. If anyone should be dozing on her dolphin stool, it should have been me. In her profession, Edie had to be used to late nights. “I hope you’re not getting whatever Remy had.”

  Her eyes widened. I could hear her gulp.

  Suddenly I felt sorry for Edie, so I decided to change the subject. No sense in getting her angry with me. Besides, I already knew the truth about Remy. I might need Edie somewhere along the line. I looked out over the crowd.

  Mostly twentysomethings dressed in sexy, short, tight outfits. More blondes than brunettes, and a few redheads, but all had long hair. The style, I guessed. The guys all looked delicious, but they were definitely outnumbered.

  On the far wall sat a table of what looked like eligible bachelors. They were decked out in the same white tuxedos and varied in age. I guessed they must have been the male “hosts” Hunter had told me about. As I started to turn, I caught a glimpse of one with a bald head and started to smile. Until he turned around.

  Uncle Walt!

  Yikes! “Excuse me,” I murmured and headed over to his table.

  “Hey, Pauline. I’d love to dance with you, but I’m on duty,” he said, smiling. “I got this gig at the last minute and they’re going to rebate my fare. Seems the last old geezer croaked, and they hadn’t had time to replace him. There are some women my age aboard, you know. They need attention that only I can give them.”

  I could only smile. There was no way I was going to scream, “What the hell are you doing at your age?” I couldn’t. Not with the look of pride on his face. “You always luck out, don’t you?”

  My uncle nodded. “Your folks are already in bed, Pauline. Damn shame.”

  I grinned, then as I started to make more conversation, I heard a female voice behind me.

  “I want him!”

  “Abigail, you always get first pick. I want him. He’s adorable in white.”

  Uncle Walt was now a lovely shade of crimson, smiling straight ahead. I turned to see two “mature” women arguing until one grabbed Uncle Walt’s arm and said, “It’s past your bedtime, Abigail. Don’t wait up!”

  With that, she and Uncle Walt were on the dance floor. And I laughed all the way back to my dolphin stool. Edie was now finishing someone’s fancy drink.

  “Seems the guys are outnumbered on this ship.” I chuckled.

  “What’s new?” She looked up. “That’s why Hunter hires those men. Escort the single women to dinner. Dance with them. You know. No sex though. All on the up and up, to give the women a good cruise to remember so they’ll come back. We’re always top-heavy with women on our cruises.”

  “Interesting job.” I took another sip of beer and shifted on my dolphin. The back fin was the hard-surfaced lower back of the stool and it wasn’t exactly a Lazy Boy.

  She leaned forward. “I’ll say, and on each cruise Hunter seems to come up with some doozies. If I were a few years younger! There’s a few on this trip that I’d snag for myself.”

  We both laughed, and I was glad I’d gotten off the Remy interrogation-for now. I liked Edie.

  A hand touched my shoulder. I swung around. “Oh, hi.”

  Hunter stood there, and I thought, Hmm, I wouldn’t mind snagging him.

  “Edie giving you the scoop on the ship?”

  I nodded. “She’s sweet.”

  “How about once around the dance floor?”

  Thank goodness Miles and Goldie had given me some “speed dancing” lessons before embarking on this ship. It’d been some time since I’d danced in public, and yes, I’d worried that I’d make a fool of myself. I kept picturing Elaine from Seinfeld. “Sure.”

  Hunter took my hand and led me to the crowded floor. I realized it didn’t matter if I had two left feet, since every passenger on this cruise seemed to be on the dance floor right now except my sleeping folks.

  We eased into the middle of the crowd, where Hunter took me into his arms. Oh, my. Good thing it was so packed there, or my Jell-O legs might have me collapsing against his chest. Hmm. Looked like a pretty good cushion to break a fall.

  The band played some kind of ballad. I looked around to see Goldie and Miles coming in the door and managed a weak wave since I didn’t want to let go of Hunter’s shoulders. He maneuvered me around the floor like an expert. “I’m guessing you’ve done this before,” I said softly.

  He chuckled against my cheek. “I could buy this ship if I had a nickel for every number I’ve danced to.”

  My lips curled. I really didn’t want to think of him dancing with someone else.

  He looked down at me. “It’s part of my job, Pauline.”

  “Like the male hosts?” I tried to laugh, but it wouldn’t come out.

  “Not this time.”

  Yikes!

  If I fell overboard right then, at least my body would keep warm from the delicious feeling floating throughout me.

  We danced for several numbers, until I realized my feet hurt. Damn heels. But when I looked at how sexy all the other women looked in their shoes, I thought it was all worth the pain. However, I’d bet my next paycheck that none of the men even noticed one shoe.

  A buzzing tickled my side.

  Hunter looked down. “Seems I’m being paged.” He looked at the number. “The captain. Could take a while.”

  “No problem. Duty calls.” Great. Now I could sit.

  “Let me get you a partner to finish the dance with.” Before I could protest, Hunter waved to someone.

  “It’s really not necessary. I’ll head back to my cabin-”

  “Not alone. One of the crew will escort you. I have a new male host who isn’t that busy yet.”

  “That’s really not-”

  “A gentleman does not leave his date stranded.”

  Not wanting to insult Hunter’s chivalry, I smiled. “Thanks.”

  “Ah, here is the gentleman to fill in for me. Pauline. This is one of the newly hired escorts, Jay Smith.”

  Hunter’s beeper sounded again. With a quick smile and peck on my cheek, he turned to leave.

  “Nice to meet you, Pauline.”

  I swung around at the voice. “You? You? You!” I shut my eyes for a second. “An iceberg would be a welcome sight.”

  Five

  “Open your eyes, Sherlock, or you’ll bump into a passenger and knock them over.”

  “What the hell are you doing here, Jagger?” I opened my eyes in hopes that he’d be gone and it was all a mirage.

  Then again, a mirage of Jagger would be the stuff fantasies were made of, not nightmares.

  I could use a fantasy, now that Hunter was gone. I peeked out.

  Jagger stood there in a white tux! Oh…my…God.

  Before I opened my eyes fully, I said, “You’re masquerading as a male host.” It wasn’t a question-more like a shocked statement.

  “Let’s not get into that.”

  I opened my eyes all the way. A male host! What a hoot! A few passengers were starting to stare at us where we stood in the middle of the dance floor. One young “kitten” wiggled up to Jagger and purred.

  “Mr. Smith, you are naughty. You promised me the next dance.” She eyed me up and down. “Who’s she?”

  Jagger grinned.

  I wanted to smack kitty lady with a bag of catnip but instead said, “I’m only a crewmember, dear. You go ahead and dance with him. He’s all yours.” With that I hurried away to down my mu
ch-needed beer as I heard Jagger sputter something. Only thing I could make out was dance, work and something that sounded like gritty. I was going with “You look pretty.”

  I took the last sip of my beer and tried to catch Edie’s attention to order another. I needed it. Damn. Jagger was like the clichéd bad penny. Hmm. Bad was right. I smiled to myself and turned toward the dance floor. It was so crowded I couldn’t see him and kitty lady. Make that kitty girl. She had to be only twentysomething.

  Damn. Made me feel old.

  “What’re you having, Sherlock?”

  I swung around to see “Mr. Smith” standing there looking appetizing in his outfit. He didn’t camouflage his face this time-thank goodness-as he’d done before on some cases. In the process, though, my arm caught on the dolphin’s tail, and I stumbled forward-into his arms.

  “Whoa. Whatever you’re having, maybe you’ve had enough?” He pulled up a dolphin and sat next to me.

  I straightened myself and held my head up with as much dignity as I had left. “I’ve only had one beer. You startled me. That’s all.” I had to keep talking louder and louder as the music increased in volume.

  Jagger leaned near. I thought he was going to kiss me!

  Stop it, Pauline. It is only because of the music.

  “In your profession, Pauline, you have to get over someone sneaking up on you and not…fall off your fish.”

  I think he chuckled, which should have lightened the mood, but damn if he hadn’t gotten so close that his hot breath tickled my ear. I had to take a few seconds to compose myself and think clearly. “It’s just…Don’t do that to me-that sneaking up thing-and I’ll work on it.” I couldn’t say no one else would have caused that reaction.

  Edie sidled over, a smile on her face. “Hey, good looking, what’ll it be?”

  “Another beer on tap, please,” I said.

  She looked at me. “I was talking to him, honey, but you got it.” She smiled at Jagger while I tried to slink under my dolphin.

  Jagger, obviously playing the gentleman host to a tee, said, “Scotch, neat, sweetie.”

  Made Edie’s day with that one.

  She went to get our drinks. “So, why are you really here? Did Fabio send you to-”

  His Jagger-look said everything.

  “Okay. Okay. No one tells you what to do. But really, why are you here?” I felt my eyes widen. “Oh, no! Don’t tell me you have a case involved here too, and it’s going to take precedence over mine, and you’re going to need me to help! I’m not going to fall for that again. Don’t even think-”

  “I’m here for you, Sherlock. Strictly for you.”

  I told myself I should be insulted that Jagger came onboard to “save” my job and possibly me. I told myself I should politely thank him because surely I could use his help. Then I told myself I might not have been able to solve this medical-fraud case, since it now involved a missing Remy. In truth, I sure was thankful for Host Jay showing up.

  “Gee, thanks.” I took a sip of my beer as soon as Edie set it down.

  “You two met before?” she asked.

  We looked at each other. I had to let him take this one since I couldn’t think fast enough to know if it mattered or not. I sure didn’t want anyone suspecting us of being investigators.

  Jagger sipped his Scotch, winked at Edie and said, “Nope. Pauline here just seems to be one of those women that you feel as if you’ve known all your life.”

  I sat there speechless.

  But I also tucked that info into my brain and thought I had just learned more about how to lie with a straight face. Jagger was so damn good at that.

  Jagger made polite conversation with Edie for a few minutes, and then, after we’d finished our drinks, made an excuse for us to leave-well, a reason for him to walk me back to my cabin.

  He took me into an elevator I wasn’t familiar with, and before I knew it, we were on the highest deck, looking out at the dark sea. With the lights from the Golden Dolphin casting golden shadows on the calm water and the moon’s glow assisting, it looked like a Disneyland ride. One that Cinderella would have loved.

  Soon little dolphin heads popped out of the top of the tank. Obviously the same guys who entertained the passengers down in the Bottlenose Lounge stared at us. I think the smaller of the three smiled at me.

  “So, what have you found out so far?” he asked, ever so businesslike.

  “Hmm?” I turned away from the dolphin tank. “Oh, yes, it is a nice night and fabulous view,” I said, and then smiled.

  Jagger looked as if he was in a hurry.

  “What?” I said. “You have to get back and dance with some kit…with the ladies?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do. So, make it snappy.” He leaned against the railing, looking dangerous and in need of a Marlboro, even though he didn’t smoke.

  Not that I condoned smoking, but damn, he could do an ad any day of the week and apparently any time of the day. “Okay, here’s what I have found out so far,” I said, telling him about Jackie, Betty and missing Remy.

  No reaction.

  “Well? What do you think? Do you think his disappearance is related to my fraud case?”

  He merely looked at me.

  The look had me stop and think. Jagger was trying to teach me more about our profession-and damn it, but he could do it all with those dark eyes.

  “Hmm. Okay, Remy went to school with my roommate Jackie, but that really doesn’t tell us much unless…unless there was also something going on between them. But she’s dating the crew’s purser now. Betty said as much. Still, she and Remy could be in on…Wait.” I looked Jagger in the eyes.

  “We don’t have enough to go on,” I continued. “We have to find out Jackie and Remy’s relationship, finances and if they were working together. I mean, how close could they have been if she’s already dating Claude? Either Remy “disappeared” by choice with the dough or someone else is involved, maybe got greedy and conveniently did away with Remy Girard.”

  Nothing could compare to a Jagger smile that said, “Good job, Sherlock.”

  Since Jagger knew me so well, he said we should head back to my cabin, since it was late. Somewhere around eleven. Damn. He did know me way too well.

  I was impressed with his sense of direction as he found my cabin without any wrong turns or having to ask for help. Maybe he’d been on this ship before. Nothing would surprise me. At least he had to have been around since it sailed, and maybe he scouted out the entire thing before running into me tonight. Again, sounded like something Jagger would do.

  I looked at him. “When were you going to ‘reveal’ yourself to me?”

  He chuckled, leaned over and opened the door.

  I told myself it really didn’t matter, as in the past, I had to convince myself it didn’t matter whom Jagger worked for or what his other name was if he had one. I was getting used to the mystery of this guy.

  “Fine. I guess I’ll see you around. I’m going to have to orient myself to the infirmary a bit more tomorrow, even though I don’t start until Monday. Jackie is going to work with me then.” I didn’t tell him what a looker she was. Just her damn accent could get a guy hot.

  “I’ll be around.” He leaned forward.

  I gulped in preparation for a kiss, but he merely touched the pink (pepper spray) necklace that he’d given me and smiled. I fingered it myself after he let go. “Oh, yeah. Thanks for this. I’m sure I won’t need it, but-” Jagger reached in and flipped on my light switch-and I let out a scream.

  I muttered some more, but his hand over my lips muffled the sounds pretty good. I waved my hand to signal I’d be quiet if he let go. He did and I mumbled, “My…God.”

  Sprawled across the floor between our beds was Jackie-with a dolphin-handled knife sticking out of her back.

  I thought I’d done a pretty good job of keeping my cool after we found Jackie’s body. Now that the captain had been notified, and the security officer was here, doing an investigation, I sat star
ing at the carpet a few feet from Jackie’s body. One plate-sized stain darkened the area.

  “Here, drink this.”

  I looked up to see Jagger holding a glass of what I assumed was liquor.

  I waved my hand. “I’m fine.”

  “That’s why you’ve been sitting there staring at the carpet for an hour?”

  I took the drink and downed it. I coughed until my brains shook and then my throat burned as if Strep had infected it, but in seconds, a warmth settled inside me. “An hour?” I whispered.

  “You can’t stay here.”

  I looked up to see Captain Duarte standing in the doorway. It wasn’t just the uniform that gave him away. Nope. His demeanor said he was in charge around here. With dark hair, blue eyes and skin the bronzed gods would envy, the man standing there could be no one else but the captain of this ship.

  Behind him was Claude Bernard. I wondered if he’d been questioned yet. He looked rather stoic. In all fairness, maybe the guy was in shock. He and Jackie hadn’t been an item long, but it had to have affected him. Heck, I only knew her a few days and was devastated.

  Guess anyone’s death would cause those feelings.

  “Ms. Sokol, arrangements have been made to move you from this cabin,” the Captain said. “Since it is now a high-seas crime scene, and Ms. Arneau was also American, the FBI is on its way. You have to leave.”

  Gladly, I thought, if I ever want to sleep again.

  “Unfortunately,” he continued, “the only available space is a bit farther from the infirmary. We like our nurses close to it. In the morning we will do some juggling. For tonight, you can sleep in Room 1112. With the full ship that we have, it is our only empty stateroom. The crew’s purser, Mr. Bernard, will get you the key. He handles all the crew’s needs and problems.”

  I already knew that and thought, Great, I’d be close to Goldie and Miles. Good. I could use them about now. Jagger leaned near and smiled.

  I had already been questioned over and over by the captain and the safety officer from the ship sometime during my carpet-staring hour. “I’m guessing the FBI is going to want to talk to me too,” I said to Jagger.