Finding Life

by Tiffani Lynn

  Victor leans over and kisses my cheek quickly. “I’ve got to get going or I’m going to be late. Can I take you to dinner this week?”

  I hesitate, thinking about our last disastrous dinner.

  “I won’t take you some place like last time. If you like Mexican food, my friend’s family owns Hector’s Hacienda. We could go there. It’s my favorite.”

  My smile returns. “Yeah, that sounds good. Call me when you know what night works for you.”

  He nods and hops out of the truck, then gives a quick wave before he slides inside his car and pulls away.

  I head home and shower, thinking about my amazing day while also being worried about Dana. Even though I’m concerned about her, it’s hard not to smile knowing I have another date with Victor.

  After I’m cleaned up I call Dana’s and Marshall’s cell phones, both of which go to voicemail. I’m feeling a little restless and don’t really want to be alone, so I text my neighbor Janaé and ask, “Want to get popcorn, ice cream and watch some chick flicks?”

  I set my phone down and start a load of laundry. When I come back she’s responded, “Hell, yeah. I’ll be over in an hour for our grocery store run.”

  Janaé and I have been friends since the first week I moved into this house. She came over bearing ice cream as a welcome-to-the-neighborhood gift, saying she doesn’t bake, and we hit it off right away.

  Janaé’s a couple of years younger than me and one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. She grew up in the worst part of the city with a crackhead mom, disappearing dad, and three younger brothers. She helped to raise them and get them through high school. She went into the Air Force and was able to use the GI bill to pay for college, where she got her degree in human resources. A local cannabis company that researches and produces the stuff for medicinal purposes hired her right out of school. She’s wicked smart and equally as funny so I spend as much time as I can with her.

  A little over an hour after I texted her, she shows up and we are practically matching in our sweatpants and T-shirts, ready to make our ceremonial run to the supermarket. When we get in my truck I fill her in on my dates with Victor and Dana’s likely broken leg. She tells me about her recent break-up and how the guy isn’t quite understanding that their time together is over.

  When we arrive at the grocery store we rush through, grabbing our usual chick flick essentials, and I stop dead in my tracks when my eyes fall on Victor in profile facing the ice cream cooler. He’s even more handsome than he was earlier today, now wearing light-colored blue jeans that fit just right, worn, black lace-up combat boots and a button-up flannel. I’m about to say something to get his attention when a gorgeous Mexican-American woman about his age with long shiny dark hair walks up next to him and laces her arm through his. He looks over to her and smiles the most relaxed smile I’ve seen from him yet and kisses her hair affectionately. The muscles in my chest seize in shock and are so tight I’m unable to take a breath.

  Is this his girlfriend? He said he couldn’t have dinner with me tonight because he has plans, but he didn’t elaborate on what those were. He obviously knows her and cares a great deal about her, judging by the tender look he’s giving her as she giggles next to him.

  My eyes burn a little bit with the tears that are threatening to break free and spill down my cheeks. I swallow hard. There is no way I’m going to cry over some dude I’ve only had a couple of dates with.

  So what if he’s different than I thought he was.

  So what if he’s seeing another woman.

  I shouldn’t be upset. We aren’t committed or anything. Hell, we can’t even make it through a simple date without some kind of drama.

  The problem though is that I am upset. I did think the kiss in the truck meant more than it obviously did. I made myself believe that he’s just gun-shy about dating when clearly that’s not an issue for him. Chances are there are more women he’s dating. I mean, he’s a lawyer who looks like a fitness model. I’m sure women are clawing each other’s eyes out to go out with him.

  It’s unbelievable to me, seeing him here with her—with a comfortable confidence I didn’t notice earlier—that I thought he was emotionally fragile. Did I fabricate that in my head by assuming he’s still hurting from the death of his wife? I never saw him as a player. I also thought he was genuinely interested in me. I guess I assumed a lot of things when it came to him, and I should know better. Of course, he could be interested in me, but apparently I’m not the only one he’s interested in.

  Every time I assume something about a guy I’m dating, I’m wrong. Irritated with myself and embarrassed by this new knowledge, I’m ready to speed walk away from this train wreck about to happen. Of course, it’s then that he turns around and finds me staring at him and his date. How freaking humiliating. I can’t seem to move even though my brain is screaming to run the other way. My feet are like cement, stuck to the linoleum floor of King Soopers.

  Janaé picks that moment to come around the corner and find me stuck to the spot. “Colby! Get that ice cream, girl. I’m hungry and I don’t like to eat it melted!” she shouts toward me, causing the old couple further down the aisle to turn, as well as Victor and his date too. His eyes meet mine and widen, obviously shocked to find me there. He glances at his date who’s looking between Victor and me like she’s trying to figure something out.

  Stupidly, I lift a hand to give a brief wave, spin on my heel and quickly walk toward Janaé.

  “Colby!” Victor calls to my retreating back. I pretend not to hear him. Janaé’s face changes to concern and then she leans over a little to the side, looking past me to see who yelled my name. I grab her by the arm and begin tugging her out of the aisle. It’s awkward and obvious that I’m panicking.

  “What are you doing? And who is that guy?” she demands to know.

  “We can talk about it in the car. Let’s go.”

  “Colby!” I hear Victor yell again, this time much closer to me.

  “Damn!” I cuss under my breath.

  “What’s going on?” Janaé inquires as she halts in the middle of the store.

  Victor finally makes it to me about that time and is out of breath when he huffs, “Colby, wait.”

  I paste a fake-ass smile on my face and turn to him. “Oh, hi. We’re kind of in a hurry, so I’m going to have to talk to you later.” I have no intention of talking to him later.

  “Colby.” He’s looking at me with concern. “It’s not what you think.”

  “What might I think, Victor?” I pause, shake my head a little and continue, “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I have somewhere to be. We can chat another time.” I step around Janaé, ready to leave the snacks and get the hell out of there when he grabs my shoulder.

  “Adrianna’s my best friend’s sister. We’ve been friends for years. She’s not my date.”

  “We aren’t exclusive. You can date whomever you want, Victor, and you don’t have to explain.”

  “Stop,” he demands, clearly exasperated.

  When he opens his mouth to speak again, Janaé interrupts, “This is Victor?” I glance back at her to find her looking him over from head to toe appreciatively.

  I growl, a little irritated at her obvious appreciation and because of my frustration with the situation. Why didn’t I skip the ice cream tonight? This whole scenario is so uncomfortable. “Yeah, it’s Victor.” He glances at her and sticks his hand out to shake. Smiling, she takes it and I want to slap them both.

  “Hi, I’m Victor.”

  She shakes his hand, smiling the whole time. “Janaé.” About that time the beautiful exotic woman I saw him with walks up next to him, looking back and forth between us.

  “Vic?” she asks, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

  “Adrianna, this is Janaé and Colby.”

  Her eyes widen before her face splits in a big smile. “The Colby?” she asks. Before I can answer, she says, “I’ve heard about you for years from the boys and now this
one has joined the fan club.”

  What is she talking about?

  “Yes, she’s the one I’ve been talking about nonstop since I picked you up.”

  He has? I don’t even know what to say. Maybe I’m an idiot.

  “Colby, every Saturday I go to the Suarez house to have dinner with their family. Diego Suarez has been my best friend my entire life. Adrianna is Diego’s married sister and like my own little sister. When I pulled into the driveway, she was coming out and needed to make a run to the grocery store so I told her to hop in and I drove her here. You probably know her husband, Bruno—I’m pretty sure he’s a client at your shop. I was going to ask you to come with me today but I wasn’t sure you were ready for that clan. I mean, we haven’t even had a successful date yet. That’s like dropping you into the lion’s den after I coat you in goat’s blood.”

  Janaé and Adrianna bust up laughing. I glare at Janaé for a second before I refocus on Victor.

  “He’s telling the truth,” Adrianna says.

  “It’s no big deal. We’ve only been on a few dates. I just didn’t want it to be awkward so I went the other way when I saw you.”

  “Too late for that,” Janaé mumbles.

  I shoot her another look that should have her melting to the ground in smoldering ashes.

  Victor grabs my arm and pulls me toward the bread aisle. “Excuse us for a minute, ladies,” he tells them.

  When he stops in front of the row of bagels, he says, “Colby, I really like you. I’m not seeing anyone else and don’t have plans to. I’m not the kind of guy who plays games or has multiple women on a string. You’re only the second woman I’ve dated since my wife died. I’m out of practice with this sort of thing. I didn’t want to push you and come on too strong. I’d love to see you again. Hell, you and Janaé can come back to the Suarez house and eat dinner with us if you’re up for it.”

  “Oh no!” I look down, horrified at my sloppy sweatpants outfit. “There is no way I’m meeting people that are like your family looking like this. Go have dinner. We can talk later. I’m sorry this is so weird, in the middle of a grocery store.”

  He grabs one of my hands and holds on while he gently moves a stray hair away from my face with the other. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  The sincerity I see melts the little icicles that formed the moment I saw him with Adrianna. He’s incredibly sweet for ignoring my little freak-out too.

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  “You said you like Mexican food, right?”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  He chuckles, seeming relieved. “I’ll pick you up and take you to Hector’s. What time works for you?”

  “Six o’clock at my house is good. I’ll text you my address.”

  He pulls me in close and lays a firm but sweet kiss on my lips and then returns me to where the other ladies are waiting. We all say goodbye and go our separate ways. Although the encounter was embarrassing, I’m glad it happened. I think with both of us being a little unsure, that helped. I can’t wait for tomorrow to get here.

  I shouldn’t be nervous. We get along well and he seems to like me, but now the butterflies are performing acrobatic classes in my gut and my limbs practically vibrate with excitement while I wait for him. Another glance in the mirror leaves me wondering if I should change. My light-colored jeans fit just right and my blouse feels like it shows the right amount of cleavage to be cute but not give that too-much-skin look. My hair is down, my mother’s little diamond pendant hanging from my neck, and my gold hoop earrings peek out from my hair when I turn my head a little. Maybe this isn’t enough. Maybe I should have worn a dress. I do have on knee-high boots, but maybe I look too boyish in this outfit.

  I’m about to start my next round of second-guessing when the doorbell chimes. My mind is cautioning me to move slowly with Victor even as my feet carry me quickly toward the door. It seems like showing my excitement is a bad thing, too eager or something, but I can’t help it. I pull the door open and smile at him. His hands are in his pockets and he was looking down when I opened it at first so I get the full force of his gaze as he turns it on me. His hazel eyes are electric and seem to stand out more against his skin after getting some sun yesterday at the lake. They’re the most captivating, belly-warming, beautiful things I’ve ever seen. My breath catches a little and any words I might have been ready to say die in my throat.

  He pulls his hands from his pockets, takes two large steps toward me and slips his hands under my hair, tilting my face up to his. Before I can blink he lowers his mouth to mine. His warm lips cover mine; the kiss is slow to start, but deep and meaningful. It warms me from my head to my toes. I wrap my arms around his waist, enjoying the feel of him pressed against me, his calloused hands on my sensitive skin.

  The sensation of his strong, warm body controlling this mind-bending kiss is something I didn’t realize I was missing. This combination of comfort and spark hasn’t happened with another man—not even Curtis, and I was in love with him at one time. When Victor pulls away it takes me a second to float back to earth and open my eyes. I wonder briefly how unattractive it would be for me to beg for more. Instead I say, “That was some kiss. I think I like the way you greet me.” His body shakes with humor against mine.

  “I have more where that came from, but if I start I won’t want to stop and we need to eat. I haven’t eaten all day in preparation for Hector’s tamales. They’re my favorite food.”

  “Good to know. I personally love their tacos. I’m not sure what seasoning they use in the meat but it’s the best I’ve ever had.”

  After I lock up my house he escorts me to the car with his hand at the small of my back. As he’s opening the door to let me inside, my pop’s truck rumbles up the road and parks along the curb. “That’s my pop,” I tell Victor. “I’m not sure why he’s here.”

  “I recognize that truck from your shop.”

  “Pop restored it years ago and drives it everywhere.”

  “Hey, Pop!” I wave and step around Victor, making my way to him. He’s still in his dirty coveralls. His white beard is a little wild and I can tell he’s tired, but as it always is, his smile is bright.

  “Hey, sugar. Kiss your old pop on the cheek, I don’t want to mess you up for your date.”

  I do as I’m told and then smooth his beard down a little with my fingers as I always do, and ask, “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I talked to Pete and he told me about your hike. I wanted to talk to your date before you leave.”

  “Pop, you don’t need to—” He puts a hand up to stop me.

  “I’m not here to give him the fatherly Inquisition. Just trust me.” He flashes me a look I’ve been getting all my life. The same one as when it was time to take the training wheels off my bike, when it was time to swim in the deep end of the pool without floaties, when it was time to take my driver’s test, and when it was time to say goodbye to Mom. A look that says, “Everything is going to be all right. I’m your pop and I’ve got your back.”

  “Of course, Pop. I’ve always trusted you more than anyone.”

  “That’s my girl,” he says softly before he continues. “Come on. Introduce me.”

  We walk over to where Victor is standing quietly, waiting with his hands in his pockets, looking relaxed until my Pop approaches. Then his spine straightens and he reaches out between them to shake hands. “Mr. Averette, I’m Victor Martinez.”

  “Heard all about you, son,” my pop replies as he reaches out to take Victor’s offered hand.

  “Heard you carried Dana a few miles yesterday.”

  Most of the men I’ve dated would be all over taking credit for that in front of my father, but not Victor. He gives a simple nod and leaves it at that.

  “My best friend was special forces. We enlisted together, but he always was a tough son of a bitch so he went that route. I did my time with the 12th Infantry Regiment and knew I’d seen enough that I didn’t need more so I got out at the end of my c
ontract. Hugh wasn’t so lucky. He didn’t come back,” my pop tells him.

  Cryptically, Victor says, “Red Warriors.”

  My pop chuckles a little. “Yeah, that’s what they called us.” He pauses a second and seems to slip into deep thought. I clear my throat to get his attention so it doesn’t get awkward.

  Pop shakes his head a little. “Well,” and he rubs his belly a little and says, “I need to get home, eat something and get my feet up. Long day. I just wanted to come by and meet you before you took my girl out.”

  “Pop, I’m 33 years old.” I look at him like he’s a little crazy. This is not normal for him to do with my dates. In fact, the only time he usually meets them is if they make it past a couple dates and I bring them by to introduce them.

  “It’s also not every day that you’re going out with a real man, honey. Figured I’d better get eyes on this guy. When your brother told me what Victor here did for Dana and about his time in the service, I thought this one might be worth knowing. Doesn’t sound like he’s one to fuck around.”

  “It was nothing, sir. Anyone would’ve done the same.”

  “Son, no one would’ve done the same because they couldn’t have. Dana’s a little thing, but you splinted that leg and carried her a couple of miles. My son said you barely broke a sweat and didn’t complain a bit. All I’m going to say is thank you and please take care of my Colby. She’s the apple of my eye and if anything happened to her, I wouldn’t survive it.”

  “She’s safe with me, sir,” Victor says as he shakes my father’s hand again.

  This has been the most insane start of a date ever. I’ve heard stories of my pop’s childhood best friend, Hugh, and a few stories of my pop’s time in Vietnam, but it’s been years since he brought either of those up. If my pop came here because of what my brother said, then Marshall must like him too. I smile as I slide into the seat of Victor’s car when my pop leaves us.