Finding Life

by Tiffani Lynn

  “Let’s shower and get dressed. We can talk about what to do on our way over there. My friend has a ranch. We could take them to see the horses. Would your sister mind?”

  I turn to him, a little surprised that not only is he willing to hang with the kids but that he also has an idea of what to do with them. I love my nephews and spend time with them as often as I can but Curtis didn’t give a rat’s ass about them and at the mention of them he suddenly had “things to do.”

  I smile at Victor, thinking this is a nice surprise. “No, my sister would love that. She doesn’t want them to miss out on anything because of her illness. That sounds fun. Your friend won’t mind?”

  “Nah. They’ve been telling me to come out to the ranch for a while. I’ll text him now to make sure they don’t have plans for the day.” He walks out of the room and I rush to get ready. As I’m pulling my hair back into a ponytail, he returns.

  “Judson said they’d love to have us over. Apparently, he’s an early riser. They were planning to grill hot dogs and hamburgers for lunch and his wife is off of work today so she and their son, Carlo, can help with your nephews around the horses.”

  “Okay, sounds good.”

  “I’m going to run home and change. I can meet you at your sister’s house to go to Daisy Rivers Ranch. You’ll have to drive because my car won’t hold everyone.”

  “That’s fine. We’ll take Shaunda’s SUV so we have car seats and all of that.”

  We walk out the front door and he turns, kisses me on the lips and then jogs to his car.

  “Victor!”

  He turns to me.

  “Are you real?” I ask, not kidding in the least.

  He tips his chin up at me with a grin instead of answering with words and slides into his car. Damn, that grin…

  A few hours later I’ve fed the kids breakfast, Victor has arrived at my sister’s, and we’re loaded up to go to the ranch. As we’re driving, my oldest nephew, Knox, who is both smart and insanely curious for six years old, asks a hundred questions in between Victor telling me about Judson and his wife, Quinn—the ranch owners. Apparently, they went to college together and Judson went into the Navy and became a SEAL. After 10 years of service he was injured and has a prosthetic leg. When he came back to Colorado, he and Quinn—who is now a police officer—got married and adopted a boy named Carlo and then had a biological daughter named Lila. That’s the condensed version, but the story was fascinating and Victor talks about them like he has a lot of respect for them so I can’t wait to meet them.

  When we turn onto the gravel road leading up to the property, I glance back at the kids and find Knox’s head turned, his expression intense as he observes the passing landscape. Four-year-old Wyatt’s attention is stuck on the handheld game in his grip and the youngest, Gunner, who is a little less than two years old, has fallen asleep.

  When we pull up I notice the other five cars in the driveway. “Are there a lot of people here?”

  “I didn’t think there were supposed to be but that’s Diego’s truck, Valerie’s car, Dex’s Charger, and Rosanna’s car. I thought it was just us and the Riverses.”

  “I recognize a couple of the cars from the shop. This should be interesting,” I tell him.

  “The good news is there will be plenty of kids. The bad news is I have a feeling they’re all here to see this.” He gestures between us and his concern is obvious.

  “Why?” That seems a little weird. He’s pretty old for his friends to be all up in his business about who he’s dating.

  “It’s a long story but basically they were around for things with Carol and for my one date with Valerie. They’ve been bugging me to date ever since and now they’re being nosey. I’m sorry.”

  I laugh. “No worries. I can handle that. As long as they don’t chase me down with pitchforks or get nasty like the woman from your office, I’m fine.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that. They’re all pretty chill, but watch Javier if someone mentions the one date I took Val on. It’s pretty funny. He gets spun up quick about it.”

  “I’ll ask about that later. For now, let’s get the boys out of the car to enjoy the fresh air and other kids.”

  Victor gives me a little sideways grin as we get out of the car and I hoist the still groggy Gunner in my arms. He rests his little blond head on my shoulder while Knox and Wyatt follow Vic around the corner to where a group of people is sitting around talking. A group of kids is running in an open area just beyond them, squealing and laughing. An older boy with dark hair, a dark complexion and a happy smile seems to be leading the group in some kind of game. Their squeals and laughter echo off the barn and house.

  When I see Javier and Diego I smile because I know them. They’ve been clients of the shop for years and although we encountered Javier and Valerie at the Spanish-American Club it feels a little different today because I know the rest of these people are here to check me out. I’m generally pretty confident in who I am, but a group of people observing and judging doesn’t sound fun.

  A ridiculously handsome man in a worn cowboy hat, jeans and T-shirt stands and makes his way to me while everyone else stands too.

  “You must be Colby; I’m Judson. So glad you guys could come out today.” He sticks his hand out to shake mine and I take it, noting the rough texture and dirt under his nails. They are the hands of a working-class man and I relax quickly with that knowledge. Judson is someone I can relate to.

  “I’m sorry he sprung it on you.” I nod toward Victor who wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close to him and smiling.

  “No way. We’ve been trying to drag him back up here for a while. We’re glad you came. The kids will have fun. Who do we have here?” he asks, indicating the boy on my hip with his arms wrapped around my neck like a little monkey.

  I introduce the kids and without allowing anyone anytime to breathe, Knox asks, “Can I see your horses?”

  Judson laughs, probably surprised at the boldness of a child he just met. “Sure. You can go to the barn with Carlo, but we won’t ride them until after we eat. Food will be done in a little while.” He turns toward the other kids who are all sitting in the grass now. “Carlo! Come here!”

  The young teenage boy jogs over. Judson introduces me and the kids while Carlo shakes hands with Vic. He’s a good-looking, well-mannered young man.

  Judson asks, “Can you take the boys into the barn to meet the horses? I told them we’d ride after we eat, but they want to see them now.”

  “Sure! Come on!” Carlo smiles at the boys and Knox and Wyatt follow right behind him like it’s something they do every day. I attempt to set Gunner down, thinking he’ll want to follow his brothers, but he holds on tighter. After going through this with the other boys when they were younger I know better than to force him. “Gunner’s not ready to go yet.”

  “I could take him,” Vic says.

  “Are you sure? You haven’t even had a chance to see your friends yet. Gunner can see the horses later.”

  “Nah, I see these guys all the time. I know he’ll like the horses once he gets in there. Let me try.”

  I’m not sure if Gunner will go with Victor or not. This could be one of those moments when he’s glued to me. “Can Victor take you?” I ask my nephew, who turns his head slightly to look at Vic. “Your brothers are going to see the horses in the barn.”

  Victor reaches his arms out to Gunner. “Come on, buddy, I’ll take you. After we see the horses you can come right back to Aunt Colby.” After a few seconds of deliberation, he finally releases me and reaches for Victor who takes him in his sturdy arms and carries him toward the barn where the other kids disappeared.

  About that time a beautiful curvy brunette strolls up with a toddler on her hip and smacks Judson on the butt with a playful giggle. “Can you check the hot dogs on the grill? I just put them on. You know I hate it when they’re burnt.” He grins down at her and kisses her forehead. She puts her hand out toward me as J
udson strides away. “Hi, I’m Quinn, Judson’s wife, and this is our daughter, Lila. You must be the famous Colby.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Famous? I think you have the wrong girl.”

  There’s a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Nope, I’ve heard all about the beautiful mechanical genius who has Victor chasing his tail. We’ve tried several times to set him up and he wouldn’t even entertain the idea. He takes one look at you and doesn’t know his name anymore, or at least that’s what Diego and Javier tell me.”

  My insides warm with the knowledge. I can tell Victor likes me but to hear it put that way from another woman makes it seem more real.

  “I don’t know about all that, but I do know my way around an engine.”

  “I think that’s really cool. Come on over and meet the very pregnant Mari and her husband, Dex. He’s my partner on the police force.” She points over to where the kids are behind the adults and says, “Those are their two-year-old twins, Mandy and Andrew.” Then she focuses back on a beautiful brunette standing in front of her chair next to Diego. “Do you know Diego’s wife, Claudia, and his three kids, Junior, Lucia and Antonia back there in the grass?”

  “No.” I reach my hand out and shake with everyone. I hear about Claudia when Diego brings her car in to get it serviced but I’ve never met her. She’s beautiful with loads of full dark wavy hair, a curvy physique that’s a little heavier than the other women in the group, a bright smile, and dark eyes.

  “I looked you up once,” Claudia confesses as she shakes my hand. “I was pregnant and hormonal and I kept hearing about the beautiful auto mechanic/monster truck driver. I’m glad I didn’t meet you in person at that time. You’re even more beautiful than the website photos.”

  I blush because there have been a couple of times that I’ve been at work and had a crazy wife or girlfriend come in and confront me about trying to steal her man. None of the accusations have ever been true, but it’s always uncomfortable for me. I’d never do that. I’m not sure what to say.

  “Claudia! What the hell?” Diego says, obviously embarrassed.

  “Oh lighten up, I bet it happens all the time.”

  I shrug a shoulder. “Yeah, kinda.”

  Diego shakes his head like he can’t believe her and she laughs. “Come on, let’s get you a drink and we can talk.”

  Everyone turns to go back to the chairs and I notice the purple streaks in Mari’s dark hair. Those are pretty cool. Maybe I should consider something like that during truck season. The kids would love it.

  “What can I get you to drink?” Quinn asks.

  “Diet Coke. I won’t drink alcohol when I have the boys. I don’t want to give my sister anything else to worry about.”

  “How is she?” Valerie asks. “Javie told me she’s sick.”

  “I don’t know. I’m waiting for my brother-in-law to call me and let me know what’s going on. It’s why we have the kids today. She had a high fever and was in pain all night. He was worried so he took her in. She just had a double mastectomy and has been recovering, so I’m a little worried. It’s not like my sister to cry. She’s pretty tough.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be okay. I’ll say a little prayer for her.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So how did you meet Victor?” Mari asks. Dex reaches over and wraps his fingers around hers that rest on the edge of the chair and she gives him a sweet expression I can’t quite place.

  I replay the day I met Victor at the cemetery and they all chuckle. Then they each give me a little background on how they met their spouses. Judson leaves the grill during the stories and returns with white folding tables under each arm and sets them up. About that time Victor comes out of the barn with Carlo and all three of my nephews behind him like he’s the pied piper of little kids. Apparently, Gunner is fully awake and no longer acting shy, because no one is carrying him and he’s chatting too. Wyatt breaks away from the pack and runs, stopping abruptly in front of me and putting his hands on my knees.

  “Oh my goodness, Aunt Colby! They have six horses in there and one on the side. My favorite is the one who kisses people. They’re so cool! Carlo said we could ride them after we eat. Can we eat?” His words are rushed like he can’t quite contain them and I’m so glad that they’re already having fun. Things have been so tense for the kids that we all worry what kind of long-term effect Shaunda’s surgery and illness with have on them.

  “Soon, buddy. Mr. Judson is finishing grilling the hot dogs now.” I pull him in and hug him tight before he wiggles away from me and runs back to where Carlo is standing with the group of kids he was with when we pulled in.

  The afternoon moves quickly and after lunch Judson, Carlo and Quinn get the boys on the horses while I take pictures and enjoy their laughter. When they’re done riding, Quinn takes them into the house to make cookies and Victor takes me on a tour of the property. It’s breathtaking. My favorite place on the tour is a picturesque spot by the pond. The mountains serve as a backdrop and reflect in the water. It’s easy to picture the Rivers family in the summer fishing and jumping into the water from the little dock they built here.

  As I’m staring at the little ripples in the pond from a rock that Victor just skipped across the flat surface, he moves in behind me and slides his arms around me. His breath is warm along my neck as he asks, “You doing okay? I’ve caught you a few times with a weird look on your face.”

  “I haven’t heard from Jeff yet and I’m getting a little worried. It’s been a great day, but that makes me more nervous, like maybe we’re in for something horrible soon. It’s not been my experience that good things come concurrently. You know what I mean? Bad things seem to come in threes, but good things come one at a time. Today has been a good thing for sure.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. I try not to look for the patterns in things like this or I’ll be crazy. All we can do is hope and pray that she’s okay and help them get through this. I’m here for you if you want me.”

  “Are you sure you even want me? I come with a ton of baggage and we’re so different.”

  “We aren’t different. Our careers are different, but our lives aren’t so different. We both spend our spare time with our family and friends. We both enjoy the outdoors, kids and animals. When I look at you I want a thousand things at one time, some of them have to do with being naked, but the rest… They just include you being you.”

  How often can a person say that someone feels that way about them? Not often, in my experience.

  “The big question is, are you sure you want me? You’re the one with the most questions about compatibility.”

  I run my palm softly over his jaw stubble and a thumb across his bottom lip. “I’ve been hurt before. Men say they want a woman who’s a certain way until they get her. Most can’t handle long term with me and the fact that I turn wrenches for a living and drive a monster truck ends up killing it in the end. They think it’s cute until we’re at dinner and a gaggle of kids shows up and ruins our meal to get autographs and take pictures. It also pisses them off when their friend comes to my shop and then goes home to talk shit about bending me over the hood of a car. I’ve been asked more than once to give up my job and do something normal. Are you going to be okay with your uptight partners knowing your girlfriend is a mechanic?”

  “I’ve never cared what other people think. My partners and colleagues are not my people. They’re people I work with. The guys I grew up with and the ones I served in the Army with are a different story. But everyone else only matters Monday through Friday in the context of work.”

  “What if dating me affects a promotion?”

  “Not possible. I’m already a partner and that’s pretty tough to lose. If this goes the long haul, I’ll gladly give up my career if it’s an issue between us. I learned a long time ago the importance of life—having one and living it fully. Until now, I’ve had a hard time finding someone that helped to fill the emptiness in it.” He kisses my neck. “You think you wa
nt to give this a real try with me?”

  I nod slightly. “Yes, I’m just nervous.”

  “Me too. It’s been a while since I was able to let go with a woman and she died. I’ve been through a lot in my life, but that was the hardest.” He takes a deep breath and runs the tips of his fingers through the hair by my temple. “Even as beautiful as this view is, you are still the most stunning vision here, Colby.”

  This compliment means so much coming from him. When he looks at me it’s like I’m all he sees. I think most women want to know their man feels that way, and I’m no exception.

  I rise on my toes and kiss him softly and it only takes that simple motion to light the fire under him. His hand slips up along my neck to hold me in place. He tilts his head while his mouth opens to take my mouth in a strong, powerful kiss. I love the way he kisses. There is no tentative movement, just a man taking what he wants and making it clear. I like a soft kiss on occasion, but not in moments like these.

  The kiss is growing heated and my breath is coming out heavier and harder while his hand slides up along the outside of my breast. It crosses my mind that we may be on the ground and all over each other in seconds, and I can’t help the shiver that races down my spine in anticipation. It takes hearing my name from the mouth of my six-year-old nephew to split us up. Knox’s voice is calling to me from the road leading back toward the house. Victor pulls away and pecks my forehead while both of our chests heave.

  “Damn,” I whisper.

  “That’s one way to put it,” he says under his breath as he chuckles a little.

  I smack his arm playfully and yell, “Down here, Knox!”

  About that time, I see his straight blond hair bouncing as he runs toward us with a full smile spread across his lips. Carlo is trailing not far behind him.

  “I’ve been lookin’ for you, Aunt Colby.”

  “Sorry, buddy. I wanted to see the pond. Sometimes they go fishing here.”

  “Ooohhhh! I like fishin’.”

  “I know. Maybe we can come back sometime.” I ruffle his hair and take a deep breath of the clean Colorado air. “Why were you looking for me? Did you need something? Is everything okay?” I ask as we all start walking back up the road toward where Carlo stopped to wait.