Not for a Moment

by Nadirah Foxx

  “Leo was right. Allen Patterson is their father. April was their sister.”

  My stomach sank. It would have been nice if that was a cruel lie. “What else?”

  “Their mother was a woman named Lily Kilpatrick. According to her family, she was a troubled teen. Always running away from home. The last time they saw her she was strung out on drugs.”

  That bit of news broke my heart. “What about the pimp?”

  “Also true. He gave Lily a place to stay. When she got pregnant, she told him that the kid was his. The man was smart enough to get a paternity test.”

  “But she gave Matt the pimp’s last name.”

  Crystal squirmed in her seat as she looked out the window.

  What wasn’t she telling me? “How did you—”

  “Find out? Here’s the interesting fact. Lily’s older brother works in social services. He’s my boss.”

  My jaw dropped.

  Crystal waved her hand. “Don’t bother saying it. When I started nosing around, he caught me. Sat me down in his office and asked his own questions, so I asked mine.”

  “And?”

  “Neither Leo nor Matt knows the truth. According to the uncle, Leo wasn’t abandoned. His mother wasn’t able to take care of a baby, so her brother helped her find him a good home.”

  “He was adopted?”

  Crystal frowned. “The family changed its mind when he started exhibiting issues.”

  Not surprising. “So what actually happened?”

  “The adoptive family returned Leo to MDHHS—Michigan’s Department of Health and Human Services. Eventually, he was placed with a family. Leo stayed for a few years, but as he got older, Leo asked questions. The foster parents told him that his mother abandoned him. They even said that Leo should be grateful to them for putting a roof over his head. That was the first home before Leo became a problem.”

  “That’s when he started bouncing from home to home?”

  “Yup. Years went by. Lily got pregnant again. The second time she got clean and tried to raise the baby. Her brother said life got hard—not enough money and then she lost her job. Lily turned to drugs again and overdosed. Matt’s uncle stepped in again. Thing is the man thought he’d get a little payback for his sister. He took the info he had to Allen Patterson.”

  “How did that turn out?”

  “My boss told Patterson that if he didn’t take in his offspring, he’d leak the info to the press.”

  “Why?”

  “Allen Patterson is a politician. Back then he wanted to make a run for mayor of Detroit. He never got any further than the city council.”

  “He couldn’t afford the controversy,” I mumbled and lifted my cup of coffee. “So, blackmail made him foster his sons.”

  “The lie he told his wife, I’m guessing.”

  I shook my head. Unnecessary chaos caused by a series of lies. “I don’t understand why Patterson didn’t tell his kids the truth. His wife eventually found out, right?”

  “Yeah. That’s why she kept pushing April away from Matt.”

  Stupid. All she had to do was tell them they were brother and sister.

  “Thanks for doing this for me.”

  “You’re welcome. You can imagine how pissed my boss is. He’s second-guessing himself.”

  “Why?”

  “Think about it. If he hadn’t insisted Patterson take in his sons, the likelihood of them meeting April was slim. She’d be alive. Leo wouldn’t be God knows where. And Matt…”

  “Wouldn’t be locked up awaiting trial.”

  Crystal nodded.

  “He keeps asking to see me.”

  “Matt?”

  “Yeah. He calls my phone daily. I let them go to voice mail.” Pushing my half-empty cup to the side, I flipped open the file. “It’s too soon, Crystal. I let myself fall for him. I need time to heal—forget about Matt.”

  “I know. According to Scott, Matt will have plenty of time to think about what he did.”

  My head whipped up. “How long?”

  “He’s looking at fifteen years.”

  38

  More Bad News

  Rachel

  If hearing about Matt’s potential sentence wasn’t bad enough, Scott delivered more disheartening news. I got the phone call while sitting with Crystal.

  “Hey, Scott. What’s up?”

  “Got a little news for you.” He paused for a beat or two. “The DA is dropping the charges against Matt.”

  My heart stuttered as I heard the but in Scott’s voice. “I feel that you’re about to discount the good with something bad.”

  He breathed into the phone. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I did what I could, but he’ll be charged with April Patterson’s murder. The DA will try Matt for the cold case and give the family some closure.”

  “You’re sure there’s nothing that can be done?” I lowered my head and hunched over the table. “You know, extenuating circumstances and all.”

  “I know this hurts, Rachel. If Matt had turned himself in when it happened, a judge might have been lenient with him. But he ran. If he hadn’t been forced to do it, Matt may have never confessed.” Scott exhaled.

  “Where is he now?”

  “Locked up. Don’t worry he’s in confinement this time.”

  There were no words that would convey how I felt. None that would make a difference, anyway.

  “I thought you’d like to know that the trial will start on Monday.”

  I thanked Scott and ended the call.

  “What’s going on?” Crystal asked as she lifted her second cup of coffee.

  “The DA agreed to drop the charges against Matt,” I muttered.

  “But?”

  “The prosecutor isn’t wasting time with the new charges.” I glanced up. “Trial starts next week. Matt will remain in jail.”

  Crystal’s eyes widened. “Please tell me he’s not in general population again.”

  That was the only light in the darkness for Matt. “Supposedly, he’s in solitary confinement.”

  She opened her mouth to comment but slammed it shut.

  “Say what’s on your mind, Crystal. Everyone else is sure to weigh in.”

  She reached across the table and touched my hand. “Matt made a mistake. I’ll allow that, but he had more than one opportunity to take care of his anger issues. It wasn’t the first time he hit April.”

  A knot formed in my gut.

  Crystal’s gaze dropped to my hand. I’d forgotten about the bruise on my wrist. It looked fresh thanks to Leo’s rough treatment.

  “It appears that he still hasn’t learned a lesson.”

  I yanked my hand away. “He didn’t do that. Leo did.”

  “And before?”

  Crystal could always see through my lies. “It only happened once.”

  She twisted her mouth. “Shouldn’t have happened at all. Look, I’ve known Matt way longer than you have. He truly is a good guy, but that temper of his…”

  Although I didn’t want to hear it, I had to. I claimed I wanted to know everything. Matt’s anger issues had to be included.

  “Tell me about Matt’s temper.”

  Crystal rolled her eyes and stared into her cup of coffee. “It would come out of nowhere. You never knew what might piss him off. Once Matt tried putting his hands on me. He was lucky Scott showed up when he did. I threatened to press charges, but Matt promised to get some help.”

  “Did he?”

  “Yes and no.” Crystal stared at me for a long minute. “He went to a few sessions but eventually quit.”

  “Then why in the hell did you set me up with him?” I yelled.

  My friend stared at me. After a minute, she said, “Scott and I thought Matt was better. He needed someone good in his life—like you.”

  That wasn’t good enough. Did she think so little of me?

  Crystal touched my hand. “I know what you’re thinking. You’ve dated a lot worse than Matt.”

  “No excuse, Crystal
.” I withdrew my hand. “Is there anything else I should know?”

  “I don’t know.” Crystal paused. “Rachel, I can’t tell you what to do or how to think, but this thing with Matt has to end.”

  “There’s nothing to end. He’s locked up.” It was a given that I couldn’t have a future with him. “Thing is, Matt needs help, and I’m not abandoning him.”

  I couldn’t.

  No matter how stupid I felt… No matter how many fragments my heart broke into… No matter how foolhardy it would be, I’d stand by Matt. Maybe my strength would help him get through the process.

  ∞∞∞

  That was my thinking anyway as I strolled up the stairs of the courthouse on Monday. My father went with me for moral support. Before we arrived, he delivered one more serious discussion. He hoped I’d call off my ridiculous quest.

  “Rachel, I realize you love Matt, but there are things that even love can’t solve.”

  “Dad, please don’t tell me not to go. Matt has nobody in his corner.”

  My father shook his head as he turned toward the mirror. He straightened his tie and said, “How can you justify supporting a murderer?”

  “It was an accident,” I replied, trying to convince him as well as myself. “He was upset.”

  “It’s called a fit of rage, Rachel. Police call it a crime of passion.” Dad glanced up at my reflection. “Yes, accidents happen all the time. But when they do, people show remorse. They stop and think. Get help. They don’t storm off. According to what you’ve said, that man didn’t even contact her to see if she was okay.”

  What could I say to that?

  Dad faced me. “Have you forgotten about the incest? I hate to say it, but it sounds like a blessing the baby died. Who knows what that child would have been like?”

  In the end, Dad promised not to say anything else about the case. He agreed to go with me because I needed his support.

  ∞∞∞

  By lunch recess, I’d heard enough. I was seriously contemplating going home for good when Matt’s lawyer approached me.

  “Can we have a word?” the lanky man asked.

  Dad patted my arm. “I’m going to see if there’s some decent coffee around.”

  After he walked away, the lawyer led me down the hall. We stopped outside of a door. “It’s usually not done, but I got permission.”

  “For?”

  “Mr. Wallace would like to speak with you. Of course, you can refuse.”

  I drew in a deep breath. It might be my last time speaking to Matt without a glass partition between us. “I’ll do it.”

  His lawyer bobbed his head and knocked. A cop opened the door and ushered me inside.

  Matt sat at a table. A steel rod was in the middle with a set of handcuffs attached to it and his wrists. When he saw me, he gave me a weak grin. “You came.”

  I didn’t speak. Just pulled out a chair and sat across from him.

  “You don’t have to say a word, Rachel. I understand.” Matt’s eyes lowered. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. None of this should have happened.”

  “Why did it?” I mumbled. “You had more than one opportunity to turn yourself in, but you didn’t. Instead, you led me to believe that some mystery person killed April. You even tried to drag me into your hatred of Leo.”

  Slowly, Matt moved his head side to side. “You’re right, but I was scared.”

  Sorry. I didn’t buy his excuse. “You can do better than that.”

  “If I tell you everything, will you go home? I don’t want you to hear this twice.”

  Frankly, I didn’t want to hear it once. “I don’t think you get to make any requests from me. That’s a privilege associated with a couple. It’s not a status we can ever have again.”

  “True.” Matt rotated his shoulders, tilted his head to the side, and exhaled deeply. “When I left April that night, I was so angry. All I could think of was Leo telling April a load of bullshit. If we were all siblings, wouldn’t someone have told me? I clung to the belief that April and I were only friends living in the same household. The only connection I shared was to Leo, and I regretted that one.

  “So I left the apartment and went straight to a bar. I drank until I couldn’t stand up. The bartender was a friend of mine, so he called Scott. When he arrived, he told me about April. I lost it.” Matt’s voice cracked. He went silent as if he was reliving the moment. Clearing his throat, he said, “I spent some time in the hospital under psych observation.”

  That news fragmented my heart more.

  “When the doctors thought I was no longer a danger to myself, they discharged me just in time to go to April’s funeral. Mr. Patterson and his wife stared me down. I think he might have suspected I was responsible for his daughter’s death, but he said nothing. His wife had plenty to say though. She told me to never come around her house again.”

  “Matt—”

  “I’m not finished.” He glanced up at me. “Stay away from Leo. He’s not safe to be around. My brother’s forgotten that I knew about Suzanne. I remember him talking about her. When she was killed, I thought he was responsible, but I never said anything.”

  “Why?” I asked incredulously.

  “Because I thought I was being a good brother.” Matt stopped and stared at me as if he was committing me to memory. “I’ve made mistakes in my life, but meeting you wasn’t one of them. I wish things could have been different. Believe whatever you want about me, but know one thing.”

  “What?”

  “I love you, Rachel. I’ll go to my grave regretting that we didn’t have a chance.” Matt glanced over to the officer on duty. “Can I ask a favor?”

  The man nodded and keys rattled as he came over to the table. He bent over it and unlocked the handcuffs but didn’t remove them.

  “Rachel, can I have one last kiss? I know I have no right—”

  “Yes.” It was an act of closure—something we both required in order to put that part of our lives where it belonged.

  Matt came around the table with the cop at his side. Unable to put his arms around me, Matt settled for clasping my hands. He leaned in and claimed my lips one last time.

  Desperation and sincere passion were in that gesture. He dragged his mouth away only when the officer cleared his throat.

  “Goodbye, Rachel. My lawyer will contact you.” Matt forced a smile.

  “About?”

  “You’ll see.”

  The door opened. I took one more look at a man who still owned my heart despite all that had happened.

  ∞∞∞

  Later in the day, I sat down with a lawyer not affiliated with Matt’s case. I wanted an impartial viewpoint about what would happen.

  The middle-aged man reared back in his desk chair. “It’s an open-and-shut case since he confessed. The judge will look at all the facts. Make sure the confession wasn’t coerced.”

  “Will Matt get an actual trial?”

  “Yes. His lawyer will present the facts and witnesses. I’m guessing he or she might opt for an insanity plea.”

  “But Matt’s not—”

  “It’s a plausible explanation for the events in his life. If I were representing him, I’d use it.”

  I nodded, but I wasn’t okay with the information. From where I sat, Matt didn’t have a chance of a fair trial—sane or insane.

  39

  Unresolved Issues

  Rachel

  Matt’s trial lasted two days, and the jury returned its verdict in less than four hours. It only took so long because some individuals wanted to be lenient with Matt. They believed the extenuating circumstances. In the end, the majority won out, and jurors pronounced Matt guilty.

  Sentencing was equally swift. The judge had no sympathy for Matt. It was deemed that his actions, although reckless and committed out of anger, weren’t excusable. He would serve fifteen years for voluntary manslaughter.

  Thankfully, I didn’t go to the sentencing. Crystal and Scott came by Dad’s h
ouse with the news. As soon as they left, I took to my bed for a few days. No television, no newspapers, not even the internet. I didn’t want to know what the world had to say about Matt.

  Besides, I couldn’t even think of him with my heart and head aching. Crystal and Scott helped me out by retrieving my belongings from Matt’s apartment. It was one place I didn’t want to see again.

  “Did we tell you that Matt spoke at the sentencing?” Crystal said as she sat on the end of my bed.

  “No. What did he say?” It was the first interest in Matt I’d shown in days.

  “He apologized to the Pattersons for his actions. He also begged for your forgiveness.”

  Matt didn’t have to beg. I forgave him days ago. His actions weren’t justifiable, but I understood how it happened. At any given time, on any given day, anyone can become a victim. If the circumstances were just right, that same victim could die at the hands of another.

  “Crystal, do you think I’m crazy for loving Matt?”

  “No, honey, I don’t. We love who we love.” She offered a thin smile. “Any plans to go see him?”

  I shook my head. “We said our goodbyes. I have to move forward.”

  “This is true. Are you going to return to your apartment?”

  “I can’t.”

  Thanks to my ordeal with Leo—who hadn’t been heard from—I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of living alone again. My furniture and other items were scattered between Crystal’s and my dad’s houses.

  “Dad went to see my landlord yesterday. Because of what happened, the man let me out of my lease. I only had another two months on it, anyway.”

  “What about your furniture?”

  “Keep it for now. I’m going to look for a bigger house for Dad and me.”

  Crystal pulled a face. “You sure about that?”

  “Yeah. Dad isn’t getting better. He shouldn’t be living alone. I’m writing now too. It would be nice to have a permanent space to work in.”

  “If you want, I have a friend in real estate.”

  “Thanks.” Crystal had always looked out for me.

  Her lips curled up wider. “Why don’t we go out tonight? Just us.”