by Shan
For two years, we kept Ambria hidden from everybody except for her fam, and I listened to her cry and talk about how hurt she was that she had to keep our child a secret. I hated to hurt her like that, but knew that if she wasn’t hurting that Kayla would end up hurting. I felt bad, but knew that I was wrong for keeping Kiriana a secret. Each time I tried to tell Kayla though it never seemed like the right so it never came out. Had it not been for the shit that Ambria pulled at the mall, it probably would’ve still been my little secret.
I was glad that it was no longer like that now. Glad that I had my kids together and now I just had to figure out what I was going to do relationship wise. Ambria wanted me bad and so did a ton of other bitches who were now vying for my attention now that they knew I was back on the market. Part of me knew I needed to enjoy this time I had as a single man, but the other part of me missed the family structure I had grown used to. I missed going home to my woman and son at night. I wanted that old thang back, but Kayla was slowly starting to disgust me as a woman. Watching from afar had me wondering what the hell drew me to her in the first place.
“Aye, my bad bruh. That bitch fine as fuck,” Gotti said as he jumped in the truck.
“That bitch gonna make your dick fall off. She done fucked all them niggas up in there.”
“Hannn!” Gotti said and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way that he laughed. “I know and that’s how I know that’s some for sure pussy for me. I ain’t gotta worry about that bitch blowing me up cause she can’t get on this dick when she want, she’ll just hop on the next nigga’s. That way she won’t fuck up nothing I got going on with the wifey, ya feel me? Hannnn!”
I laughed. “Nigga, make sure you double wrap your shit. For real, for real. But aye yo look, you hear about my baby moms coming through here yesterday. Were you here?” I asked Gotti and he looked towards the top of the car like he had to think about it.
“Nah, I don’t think I was here when that shit happened. Which one you talking about though?”
“The only one that would do some shit like that.”
“Nah, I wasn’t here when Kay came through. I probably was out fucking some bitch to be honest.”
“Nigga, you better leave these hoes alone and stay focused for real. I told you I’mma need you more than ever now.”
“No doubt big bruh, I got you. Real shit.”
I nodded my head and turned the knob up on the music. Kayla still hadn't text me back and I decided to drop Gotti off to do the count at the next spot so that I could slide by the house real quick.
Thirty minutes later, I was pulling up in the driveway of the new home I had purchased months back. I parked, got out, and used my key to go inside. I shook my head as I looked around the house. It was so fucking messy. It looked like Kayla hadn’t cleaned up in days. The smell of old trash reeked through the vents and I walked inside the kitchen and noticed the dishes were piled up to the top. I grabbed the trash bags that were sitting on the floor and quickly carried them outside.
Going back in, I started to pick up trash off the floor and then said fuck it. I would have to call up one of those maid services to come through and take care of this. I didn’t have time.
I took to the stairs two at a time and went to Kayla’s bedroom. She had the door closed, so I knocked a couple of times before going. It was pitched black inside although it was the middle of the day. I walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains down before going to sit next to Kayla on the bed.
“Man, what is wrong with you?” I asked as I shook her awake.
She pushed me away and slowly rolled over on her side so that her back was now to me.
“Kay, what’s wrong with you? Get up.” I pulled her up from the bed and noticed how weak that she was. Shaking my head, I laid her back down and then went into the bathroom to draw her a tub of water. Adding some bubbles to the water, I tested the temperature and then turned the handle on the cold water so that it wouldn’t be too hot. I went back into the room, undressed Kayla, and then carried her to the tub, gently placing her inside.
“Ahh,” she moaned as she relaxed her head on the back of the tub.
“Kay, what’s going on? How the fuck are taking care of Kevin if you’re not even taking care of yourself.”
“Rozalyn came over to help me the last couple of days since you’ve been too busy with your other family.”
“Man, there you go with that shit. I try spending time with you and all you do is nag the fuck outta me. I can’t be around that shit. It fucks up my vibe too much.”
“Well, I don’t wanna spend time with your daughter. I don’t know why you keep trying to force her onto me. Keep her little ass at home with her mama and I done told you I don’t want my son around her.”
“Do you hear how stupid you sound? I already told your ass you ain’t have a fucking choice whether or not K.J. goes around my daughters. They’re gonna know their brother and he’s gonna know them. Soon as you have Kira, it’s gonna be same muthafuckin’ way.”
“I’ll take my fuckin’ kids and you won’t ever see them again.”
“Bitch fuck with me,” I said as I walked out of the bathroom and practically flew down the stairs. I was out of the house and into my car within seconds. I burned out of the driveway so fast I didn’t have time to react before a truck slammed into the side of my car causing it to flip several times.
22: Rozalyn
I walked through the hospital with a big bouquet of flowers and about six balloons tied to my arm. I had been up all night with mad shit flowing through my mind. After Tamar left my home last night, he text me letting me know that Keysha was in the hospital and had lost the baby. I could tell by the typos in his message that he was upset about it. Even though I didn’t like the fact that he was having a baby with another woman, I knew how Tamar felt about his kids and knew that this was tearing him up inside.
Being I had been in Keysha’s shoes before, I knew exactly how she felt. Nothing could compare to the pain of losing a child. Out of everything I had been through in my life, losing my firstborn child was still greatest pain I had ever felt.
I decided to put all bullshit to the side, be a woman, and pay Keysha a visit. I just wanted to give her my condolences, and let her know that I was praying for her, and here if she needed to talk. No matter if we liked each other or not, her child would’ve been the sibling of my children which made him their family.
I lightly tapped on the door and then stepped into the room. Keysha was laying on her side and looking up at the TV. I placed the flowers and balloons in the corner of the room and when I turned back around, she was facing forward.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to stop by and give my condolences for Taysan. I know what you’re going through and I know it ain’t easy.”
“Fuck you mean you know what I’m going through? Bitch, get the fuck outta here,” she sassed and I had to cock my head to side. Maybe the bitch was still mad about when she popped up to my house talking about she wanted to be friends and Starr clowned her ass. Whatever it was, I wasn’t really beat for the attitude and genuinely felt the need to stop by and pay my respects. She didn’t have to accept it. I did what I felt was right. Oh well.
I prepared to walk away when my phone started to ring. Pulling it from my purse, I saw Kayla’s name pop up on the screen and sent her needy ass to the voicemail. She was pissing me off with the way she was acting with my brother. He told me everything that she had been doing and I honestly could say that I was glad that I was never the type to try and make Tamar choose providing for his family or his lifestyle. Yea many times I had asked him to leave the streets alone and that was only because I knew he had more than enough money and was no longer doing the shit because he had to and only cause he wanted to. My brother on the other hand didn’t have shit and if hustling was the only way he knew to take care of his family, Kayla needed to pipe the fuck down and let him do just that.
“Like I said before, I am
sorry for your loss.”
“You should be bitch. You are the reason I lost my child in the first place.”
“Wait, bitch what?” I frowned.
“Yes, if your ass would’ve kept your fucking legs closed to my damn man then Taysan would not be dead. All this is your damn fault.”
I had to chuckle at that. This bitch was obviously delusional. Tamar? Her man? No let’s try this again. She was past delusional.
“When did he become your man, Keysha? Because since the first day you met him, he’s always been my husband and the last time I fucking checked, he still was. I can fuck him anytime I please and ain’t shit you can do about it. Whatever stress or emotions you going through ain’t got shit to do with me, you brought that shit on yourself when you decided to jump in bed with my man.”
I turned around to see Tamar standing behind me with a blank look on his face. I gave him a hug and he returned it and no I didn’t care that Keysha was right behind me looking either.
“Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to pick up the kids and take them out for a little while. Talk to you later,” I told him.
“A’ight. I’ll stop through when I leave here.”
I left out of the room without giving him a response. When I made it to the elevator to take me to the parking garage, Kayla was calling my phone again. This time I answered to see what she wanted. Maybe I would go through and pick up K.J. and take him out with the kids and I since her ass was so depressed and wasn’t doing anything with him.
“What’s up sis?” I answered.
“Rozalyn!” she screamed practically causing me to go deaf in one ear. I had to switch the phone to other side just so I could hear her.
“Oh, my God calm down. What is wrong?”
“Kevin was in an accident! They had to careflight him to the hospital and they don't know if he’s gonna make it.”
“Wait, wait slow down. Who was in an accident?”
“Your brother. We got into another fight and soon as he left out of the house, all I heard was a loud ass bang. It’s my fault! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! This just baby just got me all in my damn feelings. I wasn’t trying to be so mean to him, I was just hurt, Rozalyn.”
“Where is he, Kayla?” I asked not giving a damn about none of that shit she was talking about. I needed to know what was going on my brother. He was the only one that I had left and the thought of losing him too was just too much to bear.
“Jackson Memorial. I’m on my way there now. I had to get Taylana to come and pick me up because I was too sick to drive.”
“I’m already here. I’m going to go see what I can find out now. Calm down and y’all get here safely. I’ll see you when you get here.” I hung up the call and ran back down to Keysha’s hospital room. I burst inside without knocking and hated that I did. Tamar had his tongue down Keysha’s throat and tried to stop when he noticed that it was me, but it was too late because I had already seen it. I turned around to walk out of the room when I heard Tamar running up behind me.
“Hey come here,” Tamar grabbed my arm. “Babe, come here.”
“Let me go. Damn, just let me go.” I jerked my arm away from him and hurried back towards the elevator.
***
I had spent the last eight hours in the waiting area trying to find out what was going on with my brother when they had finally came out and told us that he was in critical condition, but he was going to live. I thanked God so many times because I did not want to lose him. I was so glad to finally get up out of there because I was tired of Tamar trying to talk to me and apologize for earlier.
It was all good and I didn’t have nobody to blame but myself for believing all the shit that he was spitting the other day. This time he really had me fooled into thinking that he was a different man, but he was still the same ol’ nigga as before.
All that shit he was talking about bringing his family back together, how he never wanted me and him to ever part again, and how he couldn’t wait to take me house shopping so that we could finally be in the same house again. He even had me believing that he and Keysha were done, but I could only wonder if he was telling her the same damn things about me that he was telling me about her. I wouldn’t let it get me down though. He finally given me free will to date and I just hoped he was serious about it because when I was ready, I would get out there and try it again, but for now I just wasn’t going to worry about it no niggas.
Kayla was in such bad shape and had literally cried so much that she caused herself to get sick. I had to take her home and when I walked in I was so pissed at the way her house was looking. I had just cleaned up for her ass a couple of days ago and it was right back to looking like a tornado had gone through it. I told her that she needed to get herself together especially now that Kevin was in the hospital and would probably be there for a while. Somebody had to look out for K.J. and this was no way for him to be living. Once again, I cleaned up her mess, and then I had fixed her some soup, and was out the door.
I needed to go and be with my kids, but I had gotten a text message from Jaheim while I was tending to Kayla saying that he was in Miami and really needed to see me. He wanted me to meet him at the beach and I told him to give me an hour and I would be there. I knew that I should’ve taken my ass home, but I really wanted to see him, too. I had been so worried about him since the last time he left my home and Tamar had sent me those pictures telling me to kiss him goodbye. I had assumed that he was dead until he sent me a message a week after that day letting me know that he was safe and back in Dallas.
We would text each other off and on and even had a few phone conversations, but his family had forbidden him from seeing me again and I knew that Tamar wouldn’t be too keen on me seeing the nigga either. It was obvious the chemistry was still there though because each time I talked to him, I couldn’t help the smile that would spread across my face and I would always hear a smile in his voice as well. Too bad things couldn’t be different.
Since I was being followed as usual, I met Starr at her shop and told her that I needed to use her car and that she could keep mine. She knew I was up to no good and had agreed to do it only telling me to be safe and call her if I needed her. The shop was located in the middle of downtown and employees had to park their cars in the parking garage. The only way in and out was if you had a badge. I knew that the guards that were following me would have no choice but to wait for me on the street. They wouldn’t see me changing cars and by time they realized what happened, I would be long gone.
“Bitch, what you about to do?”
“Jaheim wants me to meet him at the beach so I’m about to see what he wants.”
“Damn, Roz, come on now. Not him.”
“I’m not gonna do anything with him. Just gonna go out there and talk to him. I know better especially after what happened the last time I saw him. I just feel like I need to see him though and apologize again for the way things had gone down.”
“Are you sure about this sis? That nigga might be up to something.”
“I’m good. Call me in a couple of hours to check on me and if I don’t answer then I guess let Tamar know, but I doubt he’s up to anything so better yet don’t call him. I’m sure he just wants to talk.”
“Hmmm, okay. Well, be careful and I will be calling you so bitch you better answer.” Starr handed me her keys and I hopped in and hurriedly pulled off.
It took about fifteen minutes to get to the beach and when I pulled up, I immediately spotted Jaheim sitting on a bench. I got out the car and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around me and just looked down at me.
“Them niggas follow you?”
“No, I lost them.”
“Good, let’s walk.”
Jaheim grabbed my hand and we began to take a walk along the beach. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, but didn’t know where to even begin. That one night with Tamar had my head all fucked up that I wasn’t even sure of anything right now. I was feelin
g like Tamar’s whole motive was to finesse me out of some pussy because he knew sex was always emotional for me, but part of me knew that Tamar really was changing. I could see the change all over him, but I still felt like he played me for Keysha once again after everything that we had talked about.
“What’s been up? I miss the fuck outta your ass. For real. I really hate that you tied down to that nigga or otherwise I would’ve wifed you up.”
I laughed. “I hear you. You don’t even know me like that. Sounds good though.”
“Nah, I don’t speak just because I like to hear myself talk. I’m for real about everything that I say. You a good ass woman. I knew that from the very first time I laid my eyes on you back in Dallas. Then me spending the little bit of time that I spent with you, talking to you on the phone, texting you and man don't let me get on that wet-wet you got between your legs. You got me risking my life out here trying to see you. I been debating on contacting you for the past three days until I just couldn’t take it no more. I had to see you. I miss you babe.”
Jaheim stopped walking and wrapped his arms around me. He tried to kiss me when I turned my head away from him. We could never be together and I didn’t want him toying with my feelings because I wasn’t about to toy with his.
“Chmmp, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Tamar and I had sex the other day.”
Jaheim sighed and I could see the disappointment written all over his face.
“Y’all back together?”
“No, we talked about it and I thought that was the direction we were going, but I think he just played me once again.”
“Why the fuck you keep letting him do you like that?”
I just shook my head and didn’t say anything. Tamar had just gave me a speech, the same speech that Brian had given me a few months ago about knowing my worth and not allowing him to walk over me and I wasn’t gonna let him keep spitting in my face and stabbing me in the back later. I got up on the tips of my toes and pulled Jaheim towards me. I kissed my lips against his before wrapping my arms around him.
