by Dean, Ali
The sounds from the party grow distant until we can hardly hear them at all. “Maybe we should head back,” I suggest, suddenly realizing that I’m basically alone with a guy who’s barely more than a stranger. I suppose that happened with Beck when I met him too and he drove me back to campus, but somehow this feels different.
“Hey, sorry, I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable with me, Jordan,” Davis says, coming to a stop.
I instantly feel bad, and guilty for comparing him to Beck. I turn to face him, our fingers still intertwined. “No, it’s just I didn’t tell my friends where I was going and it’s not like me to disappear.” It’s not like me to even show at a party. Or to wear this top. Or to drink. A shiver runs through me as I recognize just how many things I’ve done that are out of character tonight. I don’t regret it though. Maybe I will tomorrow, but right now, I’m soaking in each new experience, letting it drive me forward, away from the disappointment and hurt I left on my dorm bed.
“I just wanted to have you alone for a minute.”
Oh. Oh! I swallow past my nervousness and he smiles and scratches his chin with his free hand. “Wow, that sounded creepy. What I mean is, I really like you, Jordan. I’m glad we got to hang out tonight.” I really like you, Jordan. His words are an eerie echo of the ones exchanged with Beck that night I told him I didn’t want to be a booty call. Maybe I should have just told him then that what I really wanted wasn’t friendship either. But I find myself repeating the words back to Davis now, and lifting up on my toes. Wanting to erase the rejection and confusion, wanting to feel that electricity I had with Beck in the storage closet weeks ago.
Davis leans down to meet me, and our lips touch. It’s a soft and easy one. A swipe of his tongue along mine, a hand caressing my ass. I wait for the heat to overcome me, to lose myself in the moment and forget where I am. I’ve had almost two full wine coolers, so if there’s any time to get wild, it would be right here, right now. At the roller skating rink I was doing exactly what Zora teased about, humping Beck’s leg like my life depended on it. But here, now, there’s no fire roaring to life inside of me. I’m warm and tingly, sure, but still entirely in control of myself as I pull back ever so slightly, and he lets me, breaking the contact. It was sweet, not disastrous like my first one, but also, just, well, sweet. That’s the only word popping around in my head as Davis gives me another smile and turns to walk back with me.
* * *
Beck
“Did Jordan come with you?” I ask Jordan’s friends Zora and Ellie, who are in the middle of a beer pong game.
“Oh yeah, she’s over by the drinks,” Ellie tells me.
I glance over to the keg and cooler, but the only people I see over there are Lucy and Coby, who look about ready to start making out.
“She’s not over there.”
Zora and Ellie snap out of eye-fucking Taylor when they hear the tone of my voice. They spin around, confirming what I already told them.
“Huh. Okay, let’s ask Lucy. She was with them,” Ellie says, starting over there.
“Them?”
“Jordan and Davis,” Zora sing-songs. My fists clench and my eyes continue scanning the party. I’ve been to dozens of parties exactly like this one, but right now I feel like an intruder. I’m here for Jordan, no other reason. I’m here to do what I should have done earlier tonight, earlier today, hell, when I first met her or anytime in between. What have I been so afraid of? Nothing could be worse than losing her to another guy because I insisted on friendship only.
Zora and Ellie call out to their beer pong teammates that they’ll be back in a minute. Taylor seems happy enough to come along, but the amused expression on his face only makes me want to punch him again.
Lucy spots us and looks around, presumably for Jordan.
“Where’d Jordan go?” I ask.
“I don’t know. She was here a few minutes ago,” Lucy says, sounding confused. “She was talking to Davis.”
My eyes snap to Coby, who is watching me warily. We’ve crossed paths before at parties like this one, and I saw him recently when he came to Stargaze with Taylor. I don’t exchange pleasantries. “Where’d Jordan go?”
He holds my gaze for a minute, and I can practically hear his thoughts. He has the answer but doesn’t want to give it to me. I take a step forward, and I see that he also doesn’t want me to cause any trouble.
“They left together. Maybe fifteen minutes ago? They were just walking along the beach.”
Blood pounds in my head. I want to ask which direction. I want to go after them. I have the most uncharacteristic urge to turn this entire night into some showdown, anything to bring her back to me. It was only a couple hours ago she was asking me to touch her, and telling me she wouldn’t wait forever. But did she have to move so fast? I came to my senses, didn’t I?
Taylor slams a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Come on man, let’s get a drink, play some cornhole or something.” He steers me toward the keg and I let him. I’ve got Jordan’s friends and the host of this party witnessing my humiliation, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Taylor is trying to hand me a cup of a beer when I spot two people walking along the beach. I recognize her silhouette and stride. But I have to blink a few times before I accept it’s Jordan. Because she’s holding hands with the guy beside her. And that guy is not me.
It’s like someone’s shaking me, smacking my face, and dumping a bucket of ice on my head all at once. The clarity is so startling, it’s painful. What in the hell have I been so scared of? The answer is there, but it’s not enough. Not enough for me not to be pissed at myself for letting it hold me back before.
I should have made my intentions clear from the day I met her. Each moment I’ve spent with her, watched her, it’s only become clearer how I feel. There’s no way I’m sitting back without making it clear now. My timing might suck, and she could hate me for it, but I’m done being the good guy, trying to do the right thing. As I stride toward the picture-perfect image of a couple in the moonlight, I hope I’m not too late.
About the Author
Thank you for reading Brazen Rush, the first book in the Brazen series! Please consider leaving a review!
Brazen Steele releases May 1 and is now available for preorder.
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Ali is a USA Today Bestselling author of sports romance books. She has always loved to read, especially when there's a happily ever after, but found that there weren't enough books out there featuring girl athletes. So, she decided to work on that. Like the heroines in her books, Ali is an athlete, with running and skiing her favorite sports these days. Ali hails from Vermont and now lives in her own happily-ever-after in Colorado with her husband, boy-girl twins, and golden retriever Pancake. When she's not pursuing an outdoor adventure, Ali's less healthy passions include ice cream, coffee, and beer.
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Also by Ali Dean
Pepper Jones Series
Pepped Up (Pepper Jones #1)
All Pepped Up (Pepper Jones #2)
Pepped Up & Ready (Pepper Jones #3)
Pep Talks (Pepper Jones #4)
Pepped Up Forever (Pepper Jones #5)
Pepped Up & Wilder (Pepper Jones #6)
Pepper Series Standalone Spinoff
Chasing Indigo
Stark Springs Academy Series
Black Diamond
Double Black
Black Ice
Spark
Sisters Series
The Line Below
Kick
Defiance Falls Series
Defiance Falls
Defiance Falls Revolution
Defiance Falls War
Brazen Series
Brazen Rush
Brazen Steele
Brazen Girl
Brazen Tricks
Standalones
Elusive
Doubles Love
Acknowledgments
I got the idea to write a skateboarding book because of my kids. My son in particular loves going to skate parks and he could spend hours there. He’s only recently-turned six years old, so I’m always standing around, the only parent-type usually. I noticed there were almost never girls or women at the parks, at least not around where we live in Colorado. I’ve heard that’s changing, but it really got me wondering! From all that time hanging at skate parks supervising my kids, I came up with the idea of Jordan Slattery and the Brazen crew. So I definitely need to give a shout out to my kids for opening my eyes to new worlds and sports. This is the first book I’ve written about a sport I’ve never done myself.
I approached one young woman at a skate park and started talking to her about women in skateboarding and skateboarding culture. When I told her I was thinking about writing a book, she gave me her contact info. Sarah was so generous in answering my questions and talking me through skateboarding lingo and culture and directing me to articles and documentaries. Without all that, this series would not be nearly as authentic. Thank you, Sarah!
My beta readers: Kirsten, Amy, and Cassie, for so much valuable feedback! I can always count on you and I’m grateful!
Leanne has been my editor from day one on this journey (2013!) and I’d probably be lost without her.
Hang, thank you for taking my ideas and making a kickass cover for this book.
And last but not least, so thankful for my husband, who supports me on the good writing days and the bad ones, even when he has no idea which version of me he’ll get when he walks in the door! This was especially true while writing this book as I was in the first trimester with our second set of twins (yes you ready that right). It can’t be easy being married to an author (especially a pregnant one), but this guy is always there for me and our family. He’s our rock.
I can’t wait for you to read the next book in the Brazen series!
Sneak Peek
Defiance Falls - Chapter 1
Dad walked by right as I was checking out how my ass looked in the mirror.
He had a beer halfway to his mouth but he paused and narrowed his eyes. Then he looked at his watch.
“Are you going somewhere, Hazel?” Dad didn’t hide his confusion. It was nine PM on a Monday night.
I took a deep breath and turned to face him. I had gone back and forth on this but decided I wouldn’t lie. I’d spent years building up trust with Dad.
“I’m going to a birthday party.”
Dad’s frown deepened. He took a sip of beer. I waited, my heart racing.
He continued studying me as he swallowed. “Whose birthday?”
Shit. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask that. “Cruz Donovan. He’s turning eighteen.”
Dad rubbed a hand over his face. His eyes met mine and I smiled, knowing it always made him soften. I looked into green eyes that matched my own, the color so deep it sucked me in, even if it was the same shade I saw in the mirror every day.
“Fine. Your cousins will be there then. They know you’re coming?”
I shifted, biting my lip. “Not yet. I’ll text them.”
Dad nodded. “I’ll text them too.”
Then he lowered his chin and put his hands on his hips, his signature dad-mode pose. His eyes skimmed over me. “You can’t wear that.”
“Dad!”
“Don’t ‘Dad’ me. You go to this party and these are my rules. One, change into something that’s…” Dad’s voice drifted off as he struggled to find the right words. He blew out a puff of air. “Can you wear your soccer clothes or something?”
I stared at him.
He sighed again, then walked down the hall and grabbed a flannel shirt from the clean laundry bin waiting by his bedroom door. “Just, wear this, okay? I know you’re going to take it off as soon as you get there but it will make me feel better. I can’t let you leave the house in that.”
I rolled my eyes but put on the flannel. It dropped to my knees. My outfit wasn’t that revealing. I mean, it kind of was, but whatever.
“Two, no drinking and driving. If you drink and need a ride, call me. Don’t get a ride with anyone who’s been drinking either.”
I nodded, trying not to grin.
“Third,” he said and then stopped. His shoulders sagged. “Never mind. You’re smart. Just, be smart, sweetie.”
My grin broke loose then. This was hard for him.
He shook his head at me and opened his arms. I went into them, resting my head on his chest. “Sorry, Dad. I was going to spare you the worry and lie about where I was headed. Or sneak out.”
I felt his chest rumble with silent laughter.
He patted my back before letting me loose. “Is this going to become a regular thing?” He crossed his arms, trying for a stern expression.
“I don’t know, Dad. I hope so? It’s my senior year. I need to get out more.”
“You’ve been on dates. You’re on a varsity team. You have friends. You’ve been to prom, homecoming. I don’t think you’re missing out on anything, sweetie.”
I gave Dad a sympathetic look. He knew what I was missing out on. Trouble. It was time to find some.
* * *
A heavy beat pulsed through my truck and I bobbed my head and rolled my shoulders, wiggling my hips as I worked some seated dance moves. Belting out the lyrics, I felt my boobs bounce as I went over a pothole on the dirt road leading up to the Lake. I hadn’t been here in years, and a spike of adrenaline shot through me as I spotted cars parked in the field. Pulling up beside one, I bit my lip and rolled my eyes at myself. There were only a dozen cars parked. I should have known I’d be too early.
Leaning back in the seat I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me.
I am sexy. I am awesome. I am confident.
I pulled the flannel over my head and tossed it in the passenger seat. Then I took a deep breath and stepped outside.
“Is that Hazel Ross?” I turned and found a carload of girls getting out of a vehicle behind me. They must have pulled up at the same time as me.
I smiled wide and waved. “Hey!” I recognized them from soccer tryouts this morning. Sophomores or juniors, I wasn’t sure. They hesitated a moment and then all five of them swarmed around, chattering away.
“I can’t believe we ran into you first!”
“We thought we might be too early, but Mel has a midnight curfew so we didn’t want to wait.”
“Are you sleeping in your truck? I heard a lot of people crash in tents.”
“Do you think we were supposed to bring presents? I didn’t know but my older sister, she leaves for college soon, you might know her?” She told me her sister’s name, that she was on the JV soccer team in high school, but it didn’t ring a bell. “She gave me this bottle of whiskey to give to Cruz. Do you know if he likes whiskey?”
Their nervous energy eased my own as we moved past the cars toward a bonfire. Their questions came so fast that I didn’t need to answer. I kept smiling, leading the way like I knew exactly how this worked.
I didn’t tell them the last time I was at the Lake was for Cruz Donovan’s fifteenth birthday. Or that I knew about as much as they did, based only on what I’d heard from others, about how these parties played out.
See, people assumed I was popular. Maybe I was, but not in the way everyone thought. I had status and respect because of soccer. I’d had big boobs since middle school and ever since I’d fallen into that category of girls. Okay, it wasn’t just my boobs. The truth was, I attracted the attention of guys. Ev
en when I wasn’t trying. And tonight, I was trying. So there was that.
But when it came to friends, I had too many. No, I’m serious. I couldn’t decide where I fit. Punks, hippies, jocks, nerds, outcasts and social climbers, they were all my people. And yet none of them really were. I suppose my default group was the overachieving crowd. I was in all the advanced placement classes with them and one girl, Louise Janik, played soccer with me too. She worked too hard though, took herself so seriously, and really didn’t seem to have much fun. Kind of like me, actually. Hence why I was here tonight. This year was going to be different.
I spotted my second most common group by the bonfire now. The soccer girls. Not just the ones who played at school, I was surrounded by some of those right now, but the ones who played for my club team outside of school too. A couple were on ODP with me, the Olympic Development Program. Soccer was huge in Defiance Falls. If you were good, you got mad respect. If you were the best, well, there you go. Instant popularity, boobs or not.
The top soccer players were girls I spent a hella lot of time with. They were cool chicks. And they partied hard. But they could be bitches too. Bullies even. Some were worse than others but I’d learned real quick that nearly every top female soccer player had an inner diva who came out eventually. It was possible even I had one I hadn’t discovered yet. So I kept it friendly enough with them, but didn’t go deeper.
