Case of the Ostentatious Otters

by Jeffrey M. Poole

  “You’re lucky,” Jillian told the woman, with a smile. “He’s my favorite artist. I would have loved to own something from him that was signed.”

  Oh, you will, I thought, with a smile.

  “Harry?” I prompted. “Do you need her help with your purchase?”

  A blank look appeared on Harry’s face.

  “Huh?”

  I gave him a hard look and shook my head, “Your purchase, amigo. Do you remember what we talked about out front?”

  Harry suddenly nodded, “Oh, right. Yeah, man. I want to buy something, too.”

  Julie approached, “Oh? You do? Since when do you like art?”

  “Uh, since… well, you do, don’t you? I wanna buy something for you. Which one would you like?”

  The smile that appeared on Julie’s face could have melted the coldest of hearts.

  “Really? You want to buy me a print?”

  Harry nodded, “You bet, Jules. Whichever one you want.”

  Jillian’s eyes shot up, “Indeed?”

  “That doesn’t have a comma in the price tag,” Harry quickly added.

  With our purchases clutched tightly in our hands, we were just about to step outside the shop when someone’s cell rang. In fact, I think it was mine. I passed the newly purchased prints to Jillian.

  “Would you hold these for a second? I need to get my… Sherlock? Watson? Hang on a sec, guys. I need to get my phone and can’t do it if you’re trying to pull me through the door. Hello?”

  “Is this Mr. Zachary Anderson?”

  “It is. Who is this?”

  “Officer Marianne Adolphson. Do you remember me, Mr. Anderson?”

  “Of course I do, Mary. We only met yesterday. And please, call me Zack. What’s up?”

  “We were wondering if you and your dogs would like to come down to the station and, er, help us out with something.”

  “Who is ‘we’ and help you out with what, exactly?” I curiously asked.

  “The Monterey Police Department has invited you to come for a visit.”

  “No, they haven’t,” I chuckled. “They just want to meet Sherlock and Watson, don’t they?”

  I heard Mary laugh.

  “Well, perhaps. As for your help, well, we were wondering if they could possibly lend their expertise on one of our cold cases.”

  “You do know that we’re not going to be here that long, don’t you?” I asked.

  “I am aware. I made that point, and the captain doesn’t think you would be interested, but he does have an ace up his sleeve.”

  “And that would be…?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me. Will you come?”

  “We’ll be there within the hour.”

  ****

  Exactly 30 minutes later, the four of us… damn. Did it again. The six of us were inside the Monterey Police Department headquarters, more specifically, inside one of their conference rooms. All the cops were incredibly friendly and, much to my astonishment, not one of the cops gave us any flak for having solved so many police cases.

  The captain, a stout gray-haired man about my age, was kind enough to show us around, and even filled us in on what had happened since yesterday. The woman we found hiding nearby, Sherry VanZanten, had been thoroughly questioned, but then released, since as of right now, they were treating the death as an accident. They had notified Monterey Bay Aquarium and received a to-be-expected press release, lamenting the loss of their beloved aquarist and diver. When I asked about the second diver, the alleged diving buddy for the deceased, I was met with stony silence.

  “There’s still no word,” Captain Owens admitted.

  “What about the dive log, man?” Harry asked. “I thought I heard Mary there say they were going to retrieve it from the aquarium?”

  “We’re due over there in less than an hour,” Captain Owens confirmed. “We’re meeting with the director of the aquarium, as well as the head of their PR department.”

  “What’s this about asking for help on a cold case?” I wanted to know. “I mean, I have no problems helping you guys out. I mean, you’ve been nothing but nice to us the entire time we’ve been here. However, I have to point out the simple fact that we’re heading home in a few days.”

  “If your dogs are as good as you say they are,” the captain began, “then this should be a breeze.”

  “I never said anything of the sort,” I protested.

  Captain Owens waved a dismissive hand, “I know that. What I meant to say was, given all the rumors I’ve heard, your dogs should have plenty of time to recover it.”

  “Recover what?” I skeptically asked.

  Captain Owens shrugged, “Some type of rare coin. It was Spanish, I think.”

  “From a treasure ship?” Harry eagerly asked.

  “Off the Californian coast?” Captain Owens scoffed. “Unlikely. This belonged to a local collector. It was stolen almost a year ago and never turned up.”

  “I hate to say it,” I slowly began, “but that thing is probably long gone by now. The thief probably sold it on eBay.”

  “It’s possible,” Captain Owens admitted. “However, the owner is a Councilmember, and never fails to ask me how his case is going whenever he sees me. And, it pains me to admit that I see that smug bastard more often than I’d like.”

  “What makes you think I can find this missing coin?” I stammered.

  “I don’t. I think your dogs might have a fighting chance, though.”

  “Fine. What makes you think Sherlock and Watson can find this coin?”

  “If the coin is still in Monterey, then I’ll bet your dogs can find it. Let’s face it, they found that Egyptian necklace, didn’t they?”

  “The time involved was much less than it is here,” Jillian clarified. “The pendant was stolen and recovered in less than a week. You’re telling us that this coin was stolen almost a year ago?”

  “All I’m asking is you try,” Captain Owens explained. “All right, look. If you decide to try, and end up actually finding this coin, then the MPD will personally pick up the tab for your hotel stay.”

  I was silent as I considered. Mistaking my silence as negative, the captain continued.

  “For all of you.”

  I heard a grunt of surprise from Harry.

  “Dude, that’s over seven hundred bucks! A piece! Come on, man. You’ve got to let ‘em try. What do you say, Zack?”

  Seven hundred bucks, while significant, wasn’t going to break me, and I was tempted to just turn down the captain, regardless of how eager Harry had become. However, one look at Jillian had me reconsidering. My girlfriend had squatted next to the dogs so that she could drape an arm around each of them.

  “You two are the cutest, smartest dogs in the whole world, aren’t you?”

  Both corgis panted happily.

  “I’ll bet you could find that coin, couldn’t you?”

  Sherlock licked Jillian’s hand, as if to say, Challenge accepted. For whatever reason, it would seem Jillian wanted to look for this coin. I glanced over at Harry and Julie, who were talking animatedly among themselves. And, for once they weren’t arguing, but talking excitedly. That could only be a good thing. Who was I to muck up everyone’s fun?

  “Okay, we’ll do it. But, no guarantees.”

  Captain Owens nodded appreciatively. He handed me a slip of paper.

  “This is his name and address. He’s expecting you.”

  “How did you even know we’d agree to do this?”

  “I didn’t,” Captain Owens admitted. “Up until five minutes ago, I thought I was going to have to call Chet back up and tell him it wasn’t going to happen. However, I have faith in your dogs. Good luck, Mr. Anderson.

  Fifteen minutes later, we were all piled in a ridesharing van, headed for the home of this Monterey coin collector. Yes, I could have pulled Jillian’s SUV out of valet parking at our hotel, but this seemed easier. I looked over at my girlfriend and grinned.

  “Bet you didn’t think we’d be do
ing this when you suggested we go on a road trip vacation last week, did you?”

  “Not at all,” Jillian admitted. “That’s what makes it so fun!”

  “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked, amazed.

  “Of course. I’ve always loved visiting Monterey. In fact, after listening to you and Harry talk about diving, I think I want to take it up.”

  “Take what up? Scuba diving? Are you sure?”

  “It sounds like so much fun. There are tons of places to dive off the Oregon coast. Besides, I’d love to be your diving partner.”

  “Umm, about that,” I began.

  “What is it?” Jillian worriedly asked. “Are you still able to dive?”

  “It’s not that,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s… well, I haven’t dived for so long that I would need to take a refresher course.”

  Jillian took my hands in hers and squeezed them.

  “That’s perfect, Zachary! We can learn it together!”

  “We’re in!” Julie enthusiastically added. “That does sound like a lot of fun. We’ll join you, won’t we, dear?”

  I looked over at Harry and saw a concerned look on his face.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked. “You haven’t dived in a while, either? No problem. We can all take the class together.”

  “You’re forgetting what we have to do before the class would start,” Harry grumped. “Provided they still do the swimming test.”

  “Hey, I’m the one who had a difficult time treading water,” I reminded my friend. I looked at Jillian and gave her a sheepish grin. “I sink like a rock when I’m in a pool.”

  “Don’t you want to get your certification again?” Julie asked, as she looked at her husband. “Don’t you think it’d be fun?”

  “Not for me,” Harry sulked.

  “And why not?” I asked.

  “Wetsuits, bro. We’d have to wear wetsuits.”

  “Yeah, we would,” I agreed. “I’ve felt how cold the water can be. There’s no way I’m getting in it without a wetsuit.”

  “Dude, I won’t fit in a wetsuit.”

  “Is that what you’re worried about?” I asked. “You want to lose some weight, is that it?”

  “I’m out of shape, man. It wouldn’t be any fun for me.”

  I watched Julie’s face fall. Jillian squeezed my hand and looked imploringly into my eyes, begging me to do something. Swallowing my pride, I cleared my throat and waited for Harry to look at me.

  “Okay, here’s what we do. Next spring, when it starts getting nice out, we’re all getting certified.”

  “But I told you…” Harry protested.

  “Let me finish,” I interrupted. “In the meantime, I suggest you and I get into shape. There’s a perfectly acceptable gym in town. I say you and I both join.”

  “But, you don’t need to work out,” Harry insisted. “You’re not the one with a gut the size of mine.”

  “That’s because I don’t drink as much as you,” I reminded my friend. “Besides, it could never hurt to tone up. If you’re serious about wanting to dive with us, then tell me now. I’ll be your workout partner. We’re both going to want to look good in wetsuits, so… Jillian? Are you okay?”

  “I hadn’t thought about the wetsuits,” Jillian admitted.

  “Neither had I,” Julie echoed.

  “Are you changing your mind?” I asked.

  Jillian shook her head, “Heavens no. Michael never liked the water, so we didn’t take too many trips here as a couple. Perhaps that’s why I’m looking forward to this as much as I am. Those wetsuits, are they as revealing as I think they are?”

  Both Harry and I nodded.

  “They’re skin tight and magnify every flaw that you have,” I gravely told her. “Trust me, they look much better on women than they do on men.”

  “Well, then I’ll join the gym with you,” Jillian decided.

  “We both will,” Julie added.

  I looked over at Harry.

  “There. We’re all going. That should make you feel better, right?”

  “It does, thanks. I’m sorry, bro. I shouldn’t be laying all this out on you. You guys don’t have to join the gym just because I’m a pudgy bastard.”

  “No worries, Harry,” I assured my friend. “No worries.”

  Ten minutes later, we were standing in front of the coin collector’s home. The house this guy owned was nothing short of a mansion. Here was a guy, I decided, that had a few bucks to rub together. Granted, both Jillian and I were doing quite well, and I’m almost certain my girlfriend’s checkbook would make even this guy’s pale in comparison, but did she live as lavishly as this? I mean, there’s a Ferrari parked in the drive, for Pete’s sake. In fact, it looked just like the one Tom Selleck drove while he played the part of Magnum, P.I.

  “Nice wheels,” Harry observed.

  “Too pretentious for me,” Jillian softly told me.

  “I don’t think I’d fit,” I decided, eliciting a giggle from the girls.

  “Think all you want, man,” Harry said. “I know I wouldn’t fit. That’s it. I accept. I’ll go to the gym with you guys.”

  “It also means cutting out a lot of the food you like to munch on,” Julie sternly warned him. “Chips, cookies, and all those little fun-sized candy bars at the clinic will have to go.”

  “Or exercise a little more self-control and don’t touch ‘em,” I added, with a grin.

  “You’re enjoying this,” Harry accused.

  “Julie hasn’t even hit the beverage side of the equation yet,” I pointed out.

  Julie snapped her fingers, “That’s right! No more beer for you, Harrison.”

  “You shut your filthy little mouth!” Harry snapped.

  The three of us fell silent. Was he serious? Then I caught sight of Harry’s face. He was grinning and only had eyes for Julie. His wife grunted once, shook her head, and then slugged him on the arm. Hard.

  “Doofus. This will be good for both of us.”

  “I’m not sure how the kids will take to the new diet,” Harry said, adopting a serious tone.

  “You leave the kids out of this,” Julie told Harry. “They’re kids. Let them be kids.”

  “What a load of crap,” Harry remarked. “Hardy is in high school now, and Drew is, what? Almost 8? Yeah, okay. That’s a little young. Just Hardy, then.”

  “No,” Julie contradicted. “Leave them out of it. We’ll do this ourselves. Nice, healthy meals with plenty of fruits and vegetables.”

  Harry groaned and shoved his hands into his pockets. At that time, the front door opened and an older man, tall and lean, walked up to us. His skin was darkened by the sun, which suggested he spent an inordinate amount of time outdoors. When he shook hands, I could feel how heavily calloused it was. Whatever this guy did to make his money, it had to have been something that kept him outside and working with his hands.

  “Chet Mayberry. I’m pleased to meet you all. And would these two be the famous Sherlock and Watson I’ve heard so much about?”

  “They are,” I confirmed. “Sherlock has some black on him, while Watson is red and white.”

  Chet nodded, “Got it. Well, you’ve all come this far. Come in! Come in! We’ll get you out of the hot sun and I can tell you all about my collection.”

  “You have a lovely home,” Jillian said, as we all stepped inside the mansion. “I love your foyer. It’s very impressive.”

  Jillian was definitely right. The foyer had a white marble floor, with several black marble pedestals in various places, and on those pedestals were white statues. I could only imagine that they were made of marble, too. This guy clearly liked his marble.

  Twin staircases, spiraling up to the second floor, were on either side of the foyer. Glancing up, I could see that the staircases kept going up, connecting to what looked like a third landing, and possibly a fourth, although I couldn’t quite tell at this angle.

  “This is very nice,” Harry commented, as we all fol
lowed Chet inside the house. “Love the wheels out front, man. Makes me think Magnum is in here somewhere.”

  Chet grinned, “It’s funny you should say that. That particular car was one of the cars actually driven by Tom Selleck while he was filming in Hawaii. It’s a 1984 Ferrari 308 GTS, and it has less than 40,000 miles on it. I love it.”

  I looked at Chet and cleared my throat.

  “If you don’t mind me asking,” I hesitantly began, “but how do you fit in that thing? You look as though you’re as tall as me. I know I have a few pounds on you…”

  “…a few?” Harry snorted.

  “Do you really want to go there?” Julie whispered back, annoyed.

  Harry promptly fell silent.

  “…but I think there’s no way I’d fit in it.”

  “Probably not,” Chet admitted. “As for me, well, it’s as uncomfortable as hell to drive. Not much leg room, I’m sorry to say.”

  “Yet Tom Selleck drove it,” I insisted. “I always wanted to know how he did that.”

  “They had to modify the Ferraris he drove,” Chet explained. “They removed padding, so the seats were lower, and speaking of the seats, they were bolted in place as far back as possible, to give him more leg room. Even so, if you ever go back to watch the series, you’ll see that he rarely drove with the top up.”

  “You learn something new each day,” I admitted, as I grinned at our new friend.

  I was really starting to like this Chet person. He was really easy-going, easy to talk to, and hell, he had a car from Magnum, P.I.! I wonder if I could canoodle a test drive out of him. I’d have to inquire later. As for the time being, we were here to talk about a missing coin.

  Right on cue, we entered a room the size of my living room. Glass display cases were everywhere, including along every inch of available wall space. There were even several cases set back-to-back down the length of the room, allowing even more of Chet’s personal collection of coins to be displayed.

  “Welcome to my coin room. Please, feel free to look around.”

  Whistling appreciatively, I took Jillian’s hand and slowly walked along the row of cases on my right. Chet appeared next to me and began spewing facts about each of the coins.

  “That one is a 1922 St. Gauden Gold Double Eagle. It’s been graded ‘MS64’.”