Evil Impulse

by Leigh Russell

  ‘We’re going to get you out of here,’ he assured her, sitting down beside her on the bunk and taking her hand in his. ‘I’m going to do whatever it takes, even if I have to speak to your sister.’

  ‘I don’t want her to know anything about this,’ Geraldine replied coldly, pulling her hand out of his grasp. ‘This is my problem. It has nothing to do with her.’

  ‘How can you say that? It has everything to do with her,’ he protested. ‘But don’t worry about her. I’ll have her moved to a safe house immediately, and make sure she’s protected, before we do anything else.’

  ‘No, please, Ian, don’t involve Helena any more. She’s been working so hard to rebuild her life – to build a life for herself. It’s not fair to put her through all this.’

  ‘What isn’t fair is that you have decided to shut her out like this. How is it going to help her if you go to prison?’ he demanded, furious with Geraldine for being so stubbornly misguided.

  She hesitated. ‘It would keep her alive and clean,’ she muttered. ‘I couldn’t bear to see her relapse on my account.’

  But Ian had sensed her hesitation. ‘She would never have kicked her habit at all if you hadn’t persuaded her to go into rehab,’ he pointed out. ‘You paid for that, didn’t you?’ She didn’t answer. ‘And now you pay her rent, don’t you?’

  ‘How do you know that?’

  ‘Oh please, Geraldine, give me some credit. I am a detective. It didn’t take very much digging to find out what’s been going on.’

  ‘So you’ve been investigating my personal financial affairs behind my back?’

  ‘Never mind all that, what I want to know is who’s going to support your sister if you go to prison? Do you imagine she’ll go out and get a job and support herself? And even if she does, how long is that going to last? You haven’t really thought this through, have you? You’ve already lost your career over this sister of yours, and now are you really going to sit there and tell me you’re prepared to go to prison to keep her out of this?’

  Geraldine shook her head. ‘I’ll figure something out,’ she muttered. ‘It won’t come to that.’

  ‘How are you going to figure anything out? From your prison cell? Don’t you think your sister’s drug dealer will have you beaten up while you’re inside, and possibly killed? I don’t think your sister is going to be the first thing on your mind when you’re being abused in prison. And if she is, all you’ll be thinking is that she’ll be on her own again, abandoned by the one person who promised to support her. I’m sorry to be so blunt, Geraldine, but I’m not going to sit by and let that happen. Even if you never speak to me again, I’m going to get you out of this. And we can’t do that unless we stop these vile criminals, one way or another. They’re not going to let this go, and nor will I.’

  ‘No, please, Ian, don’t get involved.’

  He stood up and left without another word, no longer able to trust himself to speak to her without cursing her stupidity. As long as Geraldine remained locked in a cell, he was free to take whatever action he deemed appropriate. He had never fully appreciated how blind she was to her sister’s shortcomings, but someone had to look after Geraldine’s interests if she was too inflexible to do what was necessary to save herself.

  39

  Weeds flourished on either side of the path and poked between uneven paving stones. Ian walked slowly up to the entrance and looked at the names scribbled beside the door. He found the one he wanted easily, but there was no answer when he rang the bell. He wasn’t even sure it worked. Impatiently he tried again, but there was no answer. Afraid she had already been removed to a safe house, he rang another bell and this time a scruffy man of around thirty opened the door.

  ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I’m looking for a neighbour of yours.’

  When Ian described Helena, the neighbour nodded. ‘I know who you mean,’ he said. ‘She goes out a lot.’ With that, he slammed the door.

  Ian went for a coffee and returned after an hour to try again. This time the door opened a crack. He barely managed to conceal his shock on seeing a distorted version of Geraldine. Even though he knew they were identical twins, he was taken aback that the woman who had opened the door contrived to look the same yet very different to the woman he knew and loved. Helena’s teeth were chipped and nicotine-stained; her sallow complexion scarred with tiny pock marks from childhood illness or acne, and her greasy hair was turning grey. She looked like Geraldine might in thirty years’ time if she suffered from serious mental and physical illness and stopped taking care of herself; and where Geraldine’s clothes always appeared to be freshly laundered, Helena’s threadbare cardigan and faded jeans looked grubby and hung loosely on her gaunt frame.

  ‘What?’ she barked, squinting suspiciously at him. ‘I don’t want no trouble from the likes of you.’

  Somehow she seemed to recognise that he was a policeman. It was a relief that she sounded nothing like Geraldine. If she had addressed him in Geraldine’s voice, he might have been unable to continue, but her voice was hoarse, as though her vocal chords had been damaged from decades of smoking.

  ‘What?’ Helena repeated, scowling.

  ‘I’m a friend of Geraldine’s.’

  The woman’s hostile expression softened. ‘What d’you want to talk about? Is she all right? Why’s she sent you? Where is she?’

  Responding to her evident concern, Ian pressed on. ‘Can I come in?’

  Helena sniffed and opened the door to admit him. Muttering under her breath, she led him down a dingy hall into a cluttered living room. The curtains were stained with mildew, and a faint stench of mould mingled with the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. A low table was covered in lager cans and empty beer bottles. An open cigarette packet lay on top of a pile of dog-eared glossy magazines. A half-smoked cigarette lay in a crusty saucer. Placing the butt in the corner of her lips, Helena lit it, screwing up her eyes as a thread of smoke wound its way up towards a single light bulb in the centre of the cracked ceiling. Gesturing impatiently to Ian to take a seat on a worn armchair, she sat down opposite him on a settee.

  ‘I knew you was filth.’

  ‘All you need to know is that I’m a friend of your sister.’

  ‘What I need to know is what the fuck you’re doing here and what the fuck has happened to Geraldine. Why isn’t she here?’

  Ian hesitated. ‘She’s been arrested,’ he admitted at last.

  ‘What the fuck?’ Ian was startled to see the raddled version of Geraldine displaying her chipped teeth in a grin. ‘Don’t tell me my holier-than-thou do-gooder goody-goody saint of a sister has screwed up?’

  The cigarette end wobbled precariously on her bottom lip as she cackled.

  ‘Your dealer is putting pressure on her to protect him from the law.’

  ‘What you mean? I ain’t got no dealer,’ Helena snapped, no longer smiling. ‘I’m clean.’

  ‘Your ex-dealer,’ Ian corrected himself quickly.

  Helena shrugged and stubbed her cigarette end out in the dirty saucer.

  ‘Listen, if Geraldine’s got herself into some fucked-up mess, she can get herself out of it. It’s nothing to do with me. I got worries of my own.’

  ‘How can you say that, after everything she’s done for you?’

  ‘But what can I do?’ She raised her head and stared at him with Geraldine’s eyes. ‘She’s a police officer for fuck’s sake. Whatever it is, she can take care of it. She can take care of herself. She always has done. She’ll know what to do.’

  ‘If she could sort this out by herself, do you really think there’s any way I’d be here begging for your help?’

  ‘I don’t know what you think I can do,’ she replied sullenly, lowering her eyes. ‘I don’t even know who the fuck you are. You say you’re filth but that could be a lie.’

  ‘Listen to me. Geraldine�
�s my friend. We’re – we’re close. I care about her. She’s in serious trouble and you’re the only person who can help her. You have to tell the truth about what happened when she was arrested. Make a statement confirming she had nothing to do with your drug dealer before that night.’

  ‘Not bloody likely. He would shiv me.’ She ran her hand up her body from her belly to her throat.

  ‘He can’t hurt you. He’s locked up, remember?’

  Helena gave a hollow laugh. ‘You think that’s going to stop him? These people, they got stooges everywhere. Even working in your nick. You want to be careful, before you start poking around in what don’t concern you.’

  Ian had been given exactly the same advice by his colleague in the drug squad. Somehow on Helena’s lips it sounded more sinister.

  ‘Listen,’ he said, ‘we’ll move you to a safe house where no one can ever find you, and give you enough money to start over. I’ll personally make sure you want for nothing. It’ll be a new life, Helena. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? A chance to –’

  ‘I’m fine where I am.’

  ‘Geraldine’s your sister. You know she only saw your dealer to save you from him, and she risked her life doing it.’

  Helena shrugged. ‘There’s nothing I can do,’ she said, but she looked agitated. ‘She’s my sister. Do you think I wouldn’t help her if I could? Now piss off out of my flat. I got some thinking to do.’

  ‘This isn’t just about Geraldine,’ Ian persisted. ‘What about you? If she goes down, you’re going to lose your home, because she’ll be out of a job and won’t be able to carry on paying your rent. You’ll be thrown out on the street and, what’s more, she won’t want anything to do with you ever again. Is that what you want?’

  Helena sighed. ‘Fine, fine, all right, all right. What the fuck do you want from me?’

  ‘Sign a statement about what happened, and be prepared to swear to it in court.’

  ‘I can’t. They’ll kill me.’

  ‘They’ll never find you. We’ll get you to a safe house and give you a new identity. You can start again with a new life, where no one will ever be able to trace you.’

  ‘They’ll find me. They always do. They’ll follow Geraldine and she’ll lead them to me.’

  ‘Not if you don’t see Geraldine again.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s the only way to keep you safe.’

  There were tears in Helena’s eyes as she asked, ‘Has Geraldine agreed to this?’

  Ian hesitated. Geraldine didn’t know he was there. She had forbidden him to involve Helena, but this was the only way to keep Geraldine out of prison, and still protect Helena. Geraldine would never be able to contact Helena again, so she would never discover what he had done.

  ‘Yes,’ he lied. ‘I’m sorry.’ That at least was true.

  ‘So you’re saying I won’t see her again?’

  ‘You can’t risk it. You’ll have a new identity, and a new life. I’ll make sure of that.’

  ‘What if I say no?’

  ‘Then you’ll be visiting Geraldine in prison for years.’

  Helena glared at him. ‘She won’t survive in the nick, even if he doesn’t have her dealt with in there. And he will.’

  ‘You can’t abandon her to that after all she’s done for you.’

  Helena broke down in tears. ‘I’ll do it, I’ll do it. I’m probably signing my own death warrant, but I’ll do it. Tell Geraldine if there was any other way… tell her I didn’t want it to end like this… tell her I wanted us to be sisters.’ She was sobbing too hard to carry on.

  40

  His wife was driving him nuts. In the early days of their marriage, they had been happy together, but she had grown increasingly suspicious over the years, until her conjectures had begun to seem quite dangerous. Admittedly, he had not always behaved exactly as he ought, but he was hardly the only man ever to have strayed. Even when other men’s transgressions were discovered, their wives often turned a blind eye, rather than upset their whole marriage over a few indiscretions. As if what happened outside the marriage really mattered, in the context of spending year after year together. Yet in his case, his wife seemed determined to control every aspect of his life. The more he tried to break free, the more she wanted to pin him down. Was it any wonder he strayed from time to time? In the end, he had to have some relief.

  Thinking about it, his life had never really been any different. He had never felt free. Few men would have reacted in so controlled a way to the cross he had been forced to bear. After his father left, his mother had treated him with sustained and deliberate brutality. The physical abuse had been hard to take, but the emotional cruelty had been far worse. It was a miracle he had managed to remain married for as long as he had, without raising his hand against his wife, given the violence he had been subjected to as a child. But he could not be expected to behave impeccably all the time. He had to break out sometimes. He was only human. No sane person in possession of all the facts would blame him for doing what he did. It wasn’t as though he did it very often. Hardly ever, if the truth were told. And if a few women were hurt in the process, that was hardly his fault. They had all known the risk they took in becoming involved with a stranger. If it ended badly for them, well, they should have been more careful in the first place. His conscience was clear.

  In the meantime, despite his wife’s nagging, she had not succeeded in exposing his transgressions, and she never would. No one would, because he was careful to cover his tracks. It was becoming increasingly difficult with his wife constantly on his case, but even she couldn’t watch him all the time. The more risky it became, the less he seemed able to control his urges. So be it. As long as he was careful, everything would be fine.

  41

  Laura woke up late on Saturday. For a moment she lay in bed, in a pleasant half-dream state, luxuriating in the knowledge that she didn’t have to get up for school. Catching sight of Zoe sitting on the floor beside the bed, she remembered the situation she was in, and sighed.

  ‘You have to leave,’ Laura muttered.

  ‘You said a few more days,’ Zoe replied in an urgent whisper. ‘I can hardly walk out of here at the weekend, can I? Not while your parents are at home.’

  Laura stomped off to the bathroom without answering. She regretted ever having agreed to allow Zoe to stay. To begin with it had seemed like a fun idea, but she had never expected Zoe to hang around, stinking, for nearly two weeks. Angry with herself for allowing the situation to drag on for so long, Laura went downstairs and discovered her mother in the kitchen, busy baking flans and biscuits. A huge birthday cake stood on the worktop, still in its box.

  ‘Don’t interrupt me, I’m in the middle of things,’ her mother said, flustered and red from her exertion in the kitchen. ‘You’ll have to get your own breakfast.’

  ‘I always do.’

  ‘Don’t give me any of your cheek, and don’t make a mess.’

  ‘What are you doing?’

  Her mother frowned, without taking her eyes off the biscuits she was shovelling onto a plate.

  ‘Damn,’ she muttered as one of the biscuits broke. ‘What does it look as if I’m doing? Pass me the cling film, will you? It’s in the middle drawer, at the back. If you want to help you can find a plate big enough for the cake. It’s still in the box.’

  Laura found the cling film.

  ‘I can see you’re baking,’ she said. ‘I’m not blind. What I meant was, why are you doing all that? What’s going on?’

  ‘Laura,’ her mother replied reprovingly, as she covered the plate of biscuits with cling film. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.’

  ‘Forgotten what?’

  ‘It’s grandma’s birthday. Everyone’s coming over for tea.’

  ‘Everyone? Everyone’s coming here?’

  ‘Yes, Aunty Pauline and U
ncle Ben, with Tansy and Jed, and…’

  Laura scarcely listened as her mother reeled off the names of all the family, including several cousins around Laura’s age. Usually she was pleased to see them, because they had fun hanging out together, but now the prospect of them all descending on the household en masse filled her with dread, because her cousins sometimes went upstairs to her bedroom to play on her computer.

  ‘I hope your bedroom’s tidy,’ her mother said sharply, registering Laura’s expression.

  ‘No, no, it’s not,’ Laura replied in a panic. ‘It’s a tip.’

  ‘Well, you’d better go and see to it, and when you’ve finished you can come back down and help me get the living room ready. We need to move the kitchen chairs into the dining room, and then I thought you might want to put up some decorations. I’ve brought the Christmas tinsel in from the garage, and there’s a packet of birthday balloons that need blowing up.’

  Laura did not hear the rest of her mother’s list of things to do, because she was already running upstairs.

  ‘You have to hide,’ she panted as soon as she reached her room. ‘They’re coming!’ She closed the door softly behind her.

  Zoe jumped to her feet. ‘What shall I do?’

  ‘They’ll be here this afternoon!’

  ‘This afternoon?’ Zoe glanced at the time on her phone. ‘Who’s coming? It’s the weekend. Is it my parents? Where are they now? Don’t tell me they’ve actually noticed I’ve gone.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘My parents. I’m not surprised it’s taken them this long to notice I left home. They don’t care about me. Believe me, they’re not like your parents. So, where are they? Are they here?’

  ‘Your parents? No, no, why would they be coming here? They never come here. No, it’s my family, all my aunts and uncles and cousins. They’re coming over because it’s my grandmother’s birthday. You have to get out! You have to leave!’