Evil Impulse

by Leigh Russell

  ‘What alternative did I have?’ he demanded, growing angry. ‘Was I supposed to leave you in a cell to await trial, and see you sent down on a false drugs charge? Do you have any idea what serving a prison sentence does to a police officer? The screws have it in for you for being corrupt, and the other prisoners hate you for being a cop. What are the chances you’d have left there alive? Tell me, what would have happened to your sister then? And now look at you. You’re not in prison. You’re free and you’re back home and in your job again. Whatever happened, you would have been forced to abandon your sister. Are you seriously saying you would have preferred to spend years behind bars, beaten up repeatedly, for no purpose at all?’

  ‘You should have discussed what you were planning to do to ruin my life before you did anything, instead of going ahead and telling me afterwards,’ she said.

  She knew she was being cruel, but in her suffering she felt an irresistible urge to lash out, and had a fleeting insight into how Bella must have felt when she discovered her husband’s infidelity.

  ‘She’s my sister, Ian, my identical twin,’ she went on. ‘I don’t have any other blood relatives, and even if I did, no one can be closer than identical twins. I’ll never be that close to anyone else ever again.’

  She could not explain the sense of isolation she felt, severed from the twin sister she had known for such a brief period.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re behaving like this,’ Ian replied. ‘Anyone else would be thanking me.’

  ‘You had no right to act without asking me first. I didn’t even say goodbye to her.’

  ‘There was no time. You were going to be charged and her enemies would have been on to her as soon as they found out you’d been arrested.’

  ‘So? What you did was still unforgivable.’

  ‘Are you serious? And what the hell do you mean by saying to me, of all people, that you can never be as close to another person as you were to an addict you barely knew?’ His voice rose in frustration. ‘You were strangers for Christ’s sake. What does that say about our relationship?’

  Geraldine stood up, feeling her legs shaking. ‘I’d like you to leave,’ she said, without looking at him. ‘Leave and don’t come back.’

  ‘I understand you need some time alone, but please don’t be hasty. Take some time to think about what you’re saying. You’re still in shock after everything that’s happened. Take time to process it all. Speak to a counsellor and clear your head.’

  ‘My head is perfectly clear. I don’t want you living here any more.’

  ‘Here we go again,’ Ian muttered. ‘Face it, Geraldine, you never really wanted me living here, did you? Be honest with me.’

  He rose to his feet in one swift movement and walked out. Geraldine did not call him back, and a few seconds later she heard her front door slam. With a broken cry, she sank back on the settee, too exhausted to follow him. She was not sure she wanted to continue living in her flat without Ian, constantly reminded of the time they had spent together, and tormented by seeing him at work every day. It was difficult to see how she could carry on at all, having lost everyone she cared about. Perhaps Ian was right, and she was incapable of sharing her life with anyone. She had hesitated for so long about allowing him to move into her apartment in the first place, and not long after that she had asked him to leave. Through her own desperate need for privacy, she had trapped herself in a lonely existence.

  Self-pity overwhelmed her, and she reached for another bottle of wine. The more she drank, the worse the future looked. Everything had gone horribly wrong, but somehow she had to wrest back control of her life. It was time to make a drastic change. She had worked hard in her career, but she no longer had the will to continue the struggle. Something had to give. Drunk and sobbing, she sat down to write a letter of resignation. Taking early retirement, she would move back to Kent where at least she would have family nearby. That would be preferable to the loneliness that stretched out in front of her if she stayed where she was.

  The following morning she overslept, and drove to work feeling hungover and looking frowzy.

  ‘Looks like someone had a bad night,’ Ariadne chuckled.

  Geraldine did not look up but sat at her desk with a strong coffee, mentally preparing herself to hand in her letter of resignation and walk away from the career she loved, and the man she loved. She was still fiddling with her coffee cup when Eileen summoned her. With the envelope in her hand, she walked heavily down the corridor.

  ‘I have some news for you,’ Eileen said briskly, as soon as Geraldine entered her office.

  Clutching her letter, Geraldine waited.

  ‘Your exemplary conduct as a detective sergeant since your arrival here in York has not gone unnoticed,’ Eileen went on.

  Hesitantly, Geraldine muttered her thanks.

  ‘I am very pleased to tell you that you are being restored to your former position,’ Eileen announced, breaking into a grin. ‘Congratulations, Detective Inspector.’

  For a few seconds, Geraldine was too startled to respond.

  ‘This is good news,’ Eileen prompted her. ‘I always knew you were too effective to remain a sergeant for long.’

  Returning Eileen’s smile, Geraldine mumbled her thanks and stumbled out of the room, her letter still in her hand. It was hard to take in that her stint as a detective sergeant was actually over, and she had been restored to her former position. Suddenly giddy, she leant against the wall feeling her heart racing. Her career was not over yet, and with that realisation, everything seemed to pivot and settle back where it should have been all along. Seized by a wild hope that happiness was still possible, she made her way to Ian’s office. In saving her from prison, he had rescued her career, and probably her sanity as well. She understood as well as he did how terribly she would have suffered in prison. The torment would not only have been physical.

  Ian looked up warily, and watched her in silence as she closed the door.

  ‘Ian,’ she began, and hesitated, unable to find the right words. ‘I’ve been an idiot,’ she muttered at last. ‘A complete idiot.’

  He waited, motionless, as she struggled to continue.

  ‘I’ve made a complete hash of things, haven’t I?’ she blurted out. ‘What I mean to say is, I don’t think I can bear to live without you. I just can’t bear it any longer. Please, please, come home.’

  ‘Come home?’ he replied. ‘I’ve only just got here.’

  But he was smiling. Through her tears, Geraldine smiled back.

  ‘It’s your turn to cook,’ he said as she turned to leave.

  Hurrying to the toilets to check her make-up, it occurred to her that she did not know what Ian’s favourite dinner was, let alone how to make it. They had been friends for years, but they still had much to learn about each other. Within the space of a few minutes, the future had suddenly become full of promise. Thinking about what lay ahead, she realised she had forgotten to tell Ian that she was an inspector. It didn’t matter. He would find out soon enough. Contrary to her expectations, it seemed she cared more about her personal relationship than about her career. Not only did she have much to learn about Ian, she had much to learn about herself as well. Dabbing her glistening eyes with a tissue, she grinned at her reflection.

  ‘You’re looking pleased with yourself,’ Ariadne commented as Geraldine returned to her desk.

  ‘Things are looking up,’ Geraldine replied.

  ‘Excellent. You’ve been looking really despondent lately. Whatever it was that was bugging you, I’m glad to hear you’re sorting it out.’

  Geraldine nodded. ‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘I’m sorting it out.’

  One day she would trace her sister, but for now she was content that her career and her love life were back on an even keel.

  ‘Two out of three isn’t bad,’ she added aloud.

  Ariadne raised he
r eyebrows. ‘If you say so,’ she replied. ‘I’ve absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, and I guess you’re not going to tell me, but it’s good to see you looking happy again. Fancy a drink after work?’

  Geraldine shook her head. ‘Sorry, prior engagement,’ she said, and broke into a grin.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank Dr Leonard Russell for his medical advice.

  My thanks also go to Ion Mills, Claire Watts, Clare Quinlivan, Jayne Lewis, Lisa Gooding and all the tireless team at No Exit Press for their support, and belief in Geraldine Steel. I would love to spend every working day in the company of such inspiring and generous-spirited people, and it is a privilege to continue working with them after so many years.

  Geraldine and I have been together for a long time now. For over ten years, not a day has passed when I haven’t written about her or thought about her and her colleague, Ian Peterson. Another woman has been with us from the very beginning, so I would like to thank my editor, Keshini Naidoo, without whom Geraldine and I would never have come this far.

  I don’t think any of us realised what we were letting ourselves in for when we produced the first book in the series, all those years ago.

  Someone else has been with me every step of the way, and I would like to conclude by thanking Michael, who has cheered Geraldine on from the start and remains her staunch supporter.

  Also by Leigh Russell

  Geraldine Steel Mysteries

  Cut Short

  Road Closed

  Dead End

  Death Bed

  Stop Dead

  Fatal Act

  Killer Plan

  Murder Ring

  Deadly Alibi

  Class Murder

  Death Rope

  Rogue Killer

  Deathly Affair

  Deadly Revenge

  Ian Peterson Murder Investigations

  Cold Sacrifice

  Race to Death

  Blood Axe

  Lucy Hall Mysteries

  Journey to Death

  Girl in Danger

  The Wrong Suspect

  A Letter from Leigh

  I hope you enjoyed reading this book in my Geraldine Steel series. Readers are the key to the writing process, so I’m thrilled that you’ve joined me on my writing journey.

  You might not want to meet some of my characters on a dark night – I know I wouldn’t! – but hopefully you want to read about Geraldine’s other investigations. Her work is always her priority because she cares deeply about justice, but she also has her own life. Many readers care about what happens to her. I hope you join them, and become a fan of Geraldine Steel, and her colleague Ian Peterson.

  If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll know that I love to hear from readers. I always respond to comments from fans, and hope you will follow me on @LeighRussell and fb.me/leigh.russell.50 or drop me an email via my website www.leighrussell.co.uk.

  That way you can be sure to get news of the latest offers on my books. You might also like to sign up for my newsletter on www.leighrussell.co.uk/news to make sure you’re one of the first to know when a new book is coming out. We’ll be running competitions, and I’ll also notify you of any events where I’ll be appearing.

  Finally, if you enjoyed this story, I’d be really grateful if you would post a brief review on Amazon or Goodreads. A few sentences to say you enjoyed the book would be wonderful. And of course it would be brilliant if you would consider recommending my books to anyone who is a fan of crime fiction.

  I hope to meet you at a literary festival or a book signing soon!

  Thank you again for choosing to read my book.

  With very best wishes,

  Leigh

  noexit.co.uk/leighrussell

  About the author

  Leigh Russell is the author of the Ian Peterson series (Cold Sacrifice, Race to Death and Blood Axe) and the internationally bestselling Geraldine Steel series: Cut Short, Road Closed, Dead End, Death Bed, Stop Dead, Fatal Act, Killer Plan, Murder Ring, Deadly Alibi, Class Murder, Death Rope, Rogue Killer and Deathly Affair. The series has sold over a million copies worldwide. Cut Short was shortlisted for the Crime Writers Association (CWA), John Creasey New Blood Dagger Award, and Leigh has been longlisted for the CWA Dagger in the Library Award. Her books have been #1 on Amazon Kindle and iTunes with Stop Dead and Murder Ring selected as finalists for The People’s Book Prize. Leigh is chair of the CWA’s Debut Dagger Award judging panel and is a Royal Literary Fellow. Leigh studied at the University of Kent, gaining a Masters degree in English and American Literature. She is married with two daughters and a granddaughter, and lives in London.

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  Copyright

  This ebook edition first published in 2021

  by No Exit Press

  an imprint of Oldcastle Books

  Harpenden, UK

  noexit.co.uk

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  All rights reserved

  © Leigh Russell 2021

  The right of Leigh Russell to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way e
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  ISBN

  978-0-85730-422-3 (Print)

  978-0-85730-423-0 (Epub)

  Ebook by Avocet Typeset, Bideford, EX39 2BP

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