Zander

by Maryann Jordan

  Stepping closer, filling in the spot where the doctor had been standing, Zander lifted his gaze from the floor, sucking in a breath as he caught her eyes focused on his face.

  Bending low, he held his lips close to her ear as he whispered, “I’m Zander.” As he raised up, he was mesmerized by the sight of her mouth attempting to curve slightly into a lopsided smile. Even with a battered face, his heart skipped a beat at the beautiful sight.

  Zander stood behind the bar, eyeing the customers as he pulled beer for the few on the stools. It was Joe’s night off and, though Charlene was always there to step in, he needed her serving tonight.

  Zeke walked in from the back, his nod indicating he had finished the stock order. He lifted his chin in return and watched as Zeke took his place near the end of the bar. It was Roscoe’s night off as well, so Zeke took a more mid-room position to keep an eye on everyone.

  Lynn smiled as she walked up, her tray tucked under her arm. “Peaceful crowd tonight. I know the tips will be down, but I swear I love Tuesday nights.”

  “You ever think about adding a kitchen?” Charlene asked.

  Lifting his eyebrows, he stared at her in surprise. “You kiddin’?”

  “No,” she replied, an easy grin on her face. “If you added hamburgers, fries, and wings…you’d have the place hopping.”

  “Why the hell do you think this place needs to be more hoppin’ than it is? On weekends, we got more business than we can handle. So, the smaller crowds during the week gives us a chance to breathe.”

  Charlene winked and Lynn laughed as he shook his head and chuckled. As her mirth ebbed, Lynn cocked her head to the side, still staring at him. “You’re different tonight, boss. Is Rosamond doing better?”

  His lips twitching, he nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, I should have said something. She woke up today—”

  “Oh, my God!” she screamed, jumping up and down. “Charlene, did you hear? She woke up!”

  Charlene’s head whipped around and, ignoring the customers in front of her, she rushed over to join Lynn in hugging him.

  “Good news, man,” Zeke said, smiling over the heads of the women.

  Unable to keep the grin off his face, he acknowledged with a chin lift. “All right, ladies. Just understand, she’s just woken up. She’s not talking or moving much yet and has a long road ahead of her.”

  “Yes, but to wake up must be a good sign,” Lynn rushed.

  Nodding, he said, “Yeah, it was fucking miraculous to see it.”

  Charlene moved behind the bar, a bounce in her step as she tossed a few liquor bottles, offering a celebratory drink to the three patrons sitting at the bar.

  With another squeeze to his arm, Lynn said, “I’m really happy for you, Zander. I just know your girl will be fine.”

  Jerking his gaze to hers, he noticed she was not joking. “My girl?”

  She playfully gave his shoulder a little push. “Come on, Zander. You know what I mean.” Shrugging, she said gently, “From what you say, she’s got no one other than you. So, that kind of makes her your girl.”

  Listening to that explanation, his stance relaxed. “Sorry, Lynn. I know I’m touchy. I’m really just there to give her some company until she goes back to her life.”

  “So…you’re trying to not get emotionally involved?” He hesitated and she gave his arm a slight squeeze. “Zander, it’s not so easy to turn your emotions off just like that. You’ve become part of her life and she’s become part of yours. I don’t see why that has to change. Give yourself, and her, a chance.” With a gentle smile, she turned and walked back to her customers, leaving him standing alone.

  The idea of a future with no more stories shared with his princess hit his gut. “She’ll go back to her own life once she remembers everything…one that won’t include me,” he whispered to no one, a tortured grimace twisting his face.

  For the first time since he had been visiting regularly, Zander hesitated outside the hospital door. Anxious to see her again, the desire to feel her eyes resting on him as a wobbly smile crossed her face was overwhelming.

  But…what if this is it? What if she’s remembered everything? What if she remembers I’m the one who caused her to be outside…alone…with that monster?

  His hand shook as he lifted it, holding his palm against the cool surface of the door. Sucking in a deep, fortifying breath, he pushed ahead.

  The sight greeting him caused his feet to stumble. She was still in bed, but was now partially raised up to a semi-sitting position. In a clean hospital gown, the pale green color gave a spring-fresh look to her soft skin. Her hair, recently brushed and pulled back in a long braid, was lying over her shoulder. Peach-fuzz, blonde hair surrounded the stitches, much less angry in appearance than a week prior. Her pale hands rested in her lap, her fingers gripping the blanket. Her facial bruises had faded slightly, a lighter purple instead of dark black. Her nose, still covered with a bandage over the bridge, was less swollen, as were her eyes.

  Her eyes lifted to his, untold emotions floating in their depths. He righted himself, coming to a halt, wondering what happened next. Do I leave? Do I say stay? Do I—

  Her mouth, freshly coated in soothing balm, quirked as her lips barely turned up at the corners. Her brows lowered as she lifted one hand, jerking her fingers toward him.

  His breath whooshed out from him, his heart pounding in his chest, a smile beaming toward the beautiful woman beckoning him. Stalking toward the bed, he reached out and took her hand in his much larger one. The feel of her fingers moving against his as she gave a tiny squeeze forced him to lock his knees to keep from dropping to the floor. After holding her almost lifeless hand for so long, to feel warmth and movement from her touch made the smile on his face grow larger.

  “Hey,” he said, his voice raspy. “I’m Zander.”

  Her eyes brightened as she jerked her head in a short nod. Her eyes cut over to the whiteboard where Rosamond was still written. He followed her gaze before seeing the confusion on her face.

  “I know that’s not your name,” he said. Suddenly unsure how much to tell her and uncertain what the hospital staff had explained, he mumbled, “I…uh…well, didn’t know your name, so they let me…uh, just give you one.”

  Her tongue flicked out, licking her lips, and his gaze dropped to the slight movement. Swallowing audibly, he kept talking to keep his mind on something besides her mouth.

  “If you can let me know your name, I’ll change it on the board.”

  Her mouth opened, but no words came forth. Her brows pinched together in evident distress, so he rushed to assure, “It’s okay. Honestly. Don’t worry about it. All that matters now is that you’re awake and can get better.”

  Chloe entered the room, smiling widely at them. “Hey, how’s it going?”

  “It’s nice to see her awake,” he replied, his eyes never leaving Rosamond. “But, I think she wants us to know her real name.”

  Chloe stood on the other side of the hospital bed, checking her vital signs. Looking down, she said, “Don’t worry, honey. Your brain is still healing. You’ll be able to talk soon and regain control over your movements.” Focusing on Zander, she explained, “We haven’t gotten her up yet, because of being a fall risk. As soon as her brain is able to control the muscles in her legs better, we’ll have her up and walking.”

  “And speaking?”

  Nodding, she smiled back at Rosamond. “Same with speech. As the swelling of your brain decreases even more, you will be able to control the muscles in your whole body. Dr. Calhoun will be back in this afternoon, but he said this morning that your recovery is going very well.”

  Looking back to Zander, she asked, “Did you tell her where the name Rosamond came from?”

  The heat of blush filled his neck and face. “No…it’s…no—”

  “Oh, honey,” Chloe gushed, placing her hand on Rosamond’s shoulder. “After your…uh…accident, we were unable to identify you, so you were listed as a Jane Doe. Zander, here, hated th
at. Since he had just read Sleeping Beauty to you, he named you after the princess in the story. And you should have seen him fight to keep Jane Doe off the board!” She turned to walk out the room, calling over her shoulder, “You’ve got a real Prince Charming there.”

  Knowing his face must be flame red, he grumbled as Rosamond’s gaze cut back over to him. “She’s got the wrong damn fairy tale. Prince Charming is not in Sleeping Beauty.”

  Her mouth curved in a smile, her face relaxing once more. Her chest rose and fell with each breath as she settled back against the pillows. She nodded to the chair before moving her focus back to his face.

  “Do you want me to sit…stay?”

  Receiving another nod, he smiled, sitting in the chair while still holding her hand. Placing the book he was holding on his lap, he questioned, “Do you want me to read?”

  Another nod.

  Rubbing his chin, freshly shaved for his visit, he asked, “Do you remember…I mean, could you hear me read before…uh, when you were asleep?”

  Her widening smile lit the room, warming his heart. Letting out a long breath, he chuckled. “Well, alright. Let’s see what I can find to read today.”

  14

  Zander flipped the pages of his book, his fingers shaking, nerves threatening to overtake him. At the slight pressure on his hand he shifted his gaze from the turning pages to Rosamond’s face.

  Her brows lowered in question and he instinctively understood she could feel his anxiety. Sighing, he said, “It’s been a long time since I read to someone listening. I mean, not that you weren’t listening before. But…well, you know…you were sleeping.”

  Her fingers rubbed along the back of his hand, offering him comfort. Embarrassed that she was concerned about him, he shook his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I want to read to you. I just want to choose the best story.”

  Her gaze dropped to the book still open in his lap and she gave a slight shake of her shoulders.

  “Anything’s okay?” he asked.

  With her nod, he began flipping the pages once more. Landing on Great Expectations, he hesitated. Another squeeze and he looked up. “Great Expectations by Charles Dickens? Pip and Estelle? And the eccentric Miss Havershim?”

  He could have sworn her eyes twinkled and he grinned. “Okay… Great Expectations it is. Thank God it’s an abridged version.”

  She relaxed against the pillows, her gaze on him as he began to read. After an hour, he came to the scene where Pip, now an adult, meets with Miss Havershim and Estelle, his unrequited love.

  “ ‘I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.’ ”

  Stumbling over the words, he jerked his gaze to Rosamond, her eyes closed, and wondered if she had fallen asleep. Her hand lay quiet in his while the words he had just read flowed through his mind.

  Barely making a sound, he whispered, “God, I know how Pip felt. I don’t dare call this love…I have no idea what it is. But, against all reason, I feel something.”

  A sound at the door brought him back to the present. Closing the book quickly, he twisted his head, seeing Pete walking into the room. Shooting a glance at Rosamond, he saw her eyes open, moving between him and the new visitor and he wondered if she heard his last whisper.

  Before he had time to worry about that thought, Pete greeted them as he approached the bed, his gaze dropping to their clasped hands.

  “Zander,” he said with a nod. “Hello, Miss. I’m Detective Peter Chambers. I received a call from the hospital that you were awake and I’ve been assigned to your case.”

  Zander noted the flash of dark in her eyes and he rushed to say, “I know Pete. He’s a friend of mine.” Her hand squeezed his tighter.

  “Has she spoken? Told you her name?” Pete asked.

  “She understands what you say, Pete. She just hasn’t regained her speech yet.”

  “Oh…” Pete said, his brow crinkling in thought. “Does she remember anything?”

  She squeezed his hand again and he turned back to look at her. “What is it, princess?”

  If Pete noticed the term of endearment, he did not mention it. “Miss, the reason I’m here is to assist in your case—”

  “We need to talk, man,” Zander interrupted. Standing, he bent over Rosamond and said, “Now, don’t you worry about anything. I’m going to step outside for a moment with my friend and I’ll be right back, okay?”

  Her arms jerked in response as a grimace crossed her face.

  “Shhhh,” he soothed. “I’m not finished yet…I’ll come back and we can keep reading. You fell asleep before, but we still have some Great Expectations to read.”

  “Great Expectations?” Pete chuckled. “Never figured you for a classics man…” His words trailed off as Zander glared over his shoulder at him. “Uh…yeah, we’ll talk outside.” Turning, he left the room.

  Turning back to Rosamond he smoothed her hair off her forehead and said, “I’ll be right back. I promise. I know you don’t know me…not really. But I never break a promise.”

  At those words, her arm stopped flailing and she loosened her grip on his hand, relaxing back against the pillows. Thrilled that she appeared to believe him, he winked at her before following Pete into the hall.

  She wanted to listen to the conversation outside her room, but was unable to hear what was being said. Zander said he would be right back and that he never broke a promise. Smiling, she leaned back, believing him.

  Her face felt tight and as she lifted her hand, the fading yellow bruises covering her arms came clearly into view. Barely touching her face, she felt the swelling. Gliding her fingers upward, she encountered rough and puckered skin. Letting her hand drop back to the blanket, she felt the clawing of anxiety as it slid over her body.

  An accident. They said I had an accident. I don’t remember an accident. She wished her mind would work correctly. Thoughts drifted in and out, often before she had a chance to really understand them. Like flipping the pages in a book without being able to stop to read the words. Book…

  She smiled slightly again, the anxiety easing. Zander. He read to me. I remember that. I remember his voice. He’ll be right back.

  Before Pete had a chance to turn around, Zander was in his face. “Man, I get you need to ask her questions, but you gotta give her a chance to heal.”

  Eyes narrowing, Pete said, “And just what is your interest here, Zander? She was attacked outside your bar and now you’re her champion?”

  Scrubbing his hand through his hair, he said, “Yeah…sort of.” Heaving a sigh, he admitted, “I felt guilty…responsible. Now, I just want to make sure she’s fine. Until we know who she is and who out there is missing her, I want to be here for her.”

  Pete hung his head for a moment. “Sorry. Really, I’m not trying to be a dick. Her case is so frustrating because we got nothing. Nothing about who she is. Where’s she’s from. And don’t even get me started on who the hell beat the crap outta her. I just really want to get the bastard who did this.”

  Nodding, he agreed, “I hear you. You better hope you get to him before I do, ‘cause I’ll fuckin’ do to him what he did to her.”

  Pete stared at him and shook his head. “No…you stay out of it. Let me do my job and you just take care of her.” Pausing, he added, “But don’t fall for her, Zan. I mean, she might be married or—”

  “Got it,” he growled. “Jesus, you sound like my brothers.”

  Pete nodded his head slowly. “Remember when we first met? On the fuckin’ plane heading to Bagram Air Base. Both young and too damn cocky to admit we were scared shitless.”

  Chuckling, he nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “We served with some good men over there, but Zander? You are the best man I ever met.”

  He lifted his head, holding Pete’s gaze. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t gotta say anything. But, Miss Ethel and all them boys she raised along w
ith you, would tell you the same thing.” Pete’s eyes cut over to the hospital door and he added, “Tell you what. You spend some time talking to her and when she starts remembering, you give me a call.”

  Shaking hands, Zander watched as Pete headed to the elevators before he turned and went back inside. His eyes immediately sought Rosamond’s, his smile meeting hers.

  “You’ve got no idea how great it is to walk in here and see you looking at me,” he admitted, sitting back in his chair and reaching over to take her outstretched hand.

  Her gaze jerked to the door and back again in question.

  “My friend, Pete, has gone. He’s a good guy, I swear. He’s a policeman. Well, a detective. He’s…uh, well, he’s trying to find out how to help you.” Her fingers twitched against his hand and he rubbed his thumb in circles over her wrist. Holding her gaze, he continued, “But don’t worry about that now. You just concentrate on getting better.”

  A short nod met his words. Grinning, he asked, “You ready to listen to more Great Expectations?”

  She smiled her enthusiasm and watched as he placed the book in his lap, opening to where the bookmark held his place.

  An hour later, her eyes closed again as he continued to read.

  “ ‘You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here…’ ”

  Sucking in a quick breath, he lifted his head, seeing her asleep. A strange tightening squeezed in his chest as he stared at her slowly healing face, wishing he could take away all her pain. He knew she needed to remember everything about her past so she could claim her life again, yet he was terrified for her to do so.

  Repeating the line again, he whispered, “You are part of my existence, princess. Part of myself. ‘You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here.’ ”

  Closing the book, he stood, setting it on the chair. Bending over the bedrail, he hesitated before touching his lips to hers. Moving slightly, he kissed her forehead instead. “I’ll be back tomorrow, princess. Promise.” This time, leaving her caused a greater ache and he fought the desire to stay until she woke again, but he had to get to Grimm’s.