Zander

by Maryann Jordan

  “Babe, I’m so sorry, and I’m pissed because it feels like I keep having to say that—”

  “Zander, none of this is your fault,” she said, jumping up from the sofa, rushing over to him. “You’ve done nothing but rescue me, take care of me…my God, you’ve been my hero.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist, slipping her head underneath his chin. He enveloped her, his heart aching.

  If she only knew it was my fault she was attacked in the first place.

  The words were on the tip of his tongue, begging him to confess all to her. But, tucked into his embrace, she felt like his other half, as though all the missing pieces of him, since his mother had abandoned him as a child, had fallen into place. Swallowing the confession, he kissed the top of her head.

  “I want to go to the bar with you.”

  Zander halted the sandwich on the way to his mouth, as he looked over at Rosalie, still munching on her chips.

  “Uh…”

  “I don’t want to keep you from work, but I don’t want to spend another evening by myself. We now know I don’t have a job right now, so I’d like to go see where you work.”

  “Babe, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea—”

  “I know you’re worried about me, but I laid awake last night thinking about what all that man took from me and I’m sick and tired of being afraid. I know you said I was attacked there and you found me behind the building, but I don’t think avoiding it is the right thing to do.”

  “You want those memories?” he asked, incredulity in his voice.

  “No,” she huffed. “Not necessarily.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she rubbed her forehead, her fingers barely grazing the puckered scar, the ever-present reminder of her attack. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” she confessed, her eyes pleading. “I want to be with you. And a big part of you is your bar.”

  Leaning back heavily, he tried to think of another reason for her not to go, but the hopeful expression on her face undid him. He knew he would grant her any wish, even if it meant she would remember the first time she had been in his bar—and was kicked out by him.

  Nodding slowly, he suggested, “How about this? We go early and you can meet some of the staff, but mostly sit in my office or the break room?”

  She smiled but her eyes held questions.

  “It’s just that you haven’t been in crowds since the attack and I don’t want you overwhelmed. And,” he added, his voice stern, “you stay with me. I don’t want you out of my sight.”

  Readily agreeing, she tossed her last chip back to the plate and launched herself toward him, planting her lips on his.

  Pulling into the parking lot, Zander’s sweaty palms almost slid on the steering wheel and he bit back a curse. Feeling Rosalie’s eyes on him, he forced a thin-lipped smile out.

  “Does it make you upset that I’m here?”

  He heard the concern in her voice and inwardly cursed more. Parking, he continued to grip the steering wheel, afraid if he let go, she would see his hand shake. Swallowing, he turned and pinned her with his gaze. “This is my business, but this is the place that caused you untold harm. I have a hard time reconciling the two.”

  Her gaze left him and moved to peer out the front windshield. The brick building was set back with the parking lot in the front and what appeared to be additional parking at the side. The neighborhood was in an older part of town, but not run down…just slightly worn out. Rosalie recognized the hotel she had been staying at when they passed it and noted it was only about six blocks from the bar.

  Shaking her head, she said, “Nothing. Nothing looks familiar.” Tilting her head to better see the sign above the door, she laughed. “Grimm? You named your bar Grimm?”

  A chuckle finally broke through Zander’s nervousness and he replied, “I had no fuckin’ clue what to call the place. I think it was Rafe who said I should name it after one of the books I was always reading. Then Jaxon said it should be Grumpy from Snow White. Somehow the two ideas took shape and it’s named after the Brothers Grimm.”

  Her head whipped around, blonde hair flying as she grinned, leaning in for a kiss. “I love it…it’s perfect.”

  Entering the bar a minute later, he called his employees, who were setting up the bar, to come over. Rosalie smiled as the eclectic group met her with smiles of their own. She met the servers, bartenders, and security, and thanked Lynn and Charlene for the clothes and toiletries.

  Roscoe took her hand in his much larger one, the smile on his face not matching the agony in his eyes. “Miss Rosalie, I’m so—”

  Zander interrupted, clearing his throat loudly.

  Roscoe shot him a glance before amending, “I’m glad to make your acquaintance.”

  She smiled up at him, wondering why the specter of agony was in his eyes, but chalked it up to someone getting hurt on their property. “Thank you,” she said, before her hand was pulled back into Zander’s.

  “And this is one of my brothers,” he said, introducing a handsome man, his dark blond hair long and shaggy.

  “I’m Zeke,” he said, shaking her hand. “I came to Miss Ethel’s later than Zan did. He was a teen and I was just a scrawny, punk kid.”

  Laughing, she looked up at the large, muscular man and said, “I wonder what Miss Ethel fed you all. All of her boys are big.”

  “All right, everyone get back to work. I’m gonna spend time in the office and will have Rosalie with me.” With that, they headed down the hall, her body tucked up underneath Zander’s shoulder as they entered the office.

  Zander looked down, heaving a sigh of relief when she showed no signs of remembering Grimm’s at all. He was thankful, for her sake—and selfishly, for his own.

  Walking back from the stock room hours later, Zander stepped into the office, ready to call it a night. A quick glance told him Rosalie was not sitting on the old sofa where he last left her. His brows lowered, he turned and hustled down the hall, stopping at the edge of the counter, disbelieving what he saw. Rosalie, a waitress apron tied about her waist, was walking around the uncrowded bar room with Lynn, laughing as she took drink orders.

  Stalking over as she made her way to the bar, he growled, “Princess, what the hell are you doing?”

  She looked up, a complete lack of guile in her eyes, and placed her palm on his chest. “Don’t be mad. I’m bored just sitting in your office and Lynn told me that you are down a server.”

  He had forgotten that one of the college girls recently went back to school. His gaze cut over to Lynn as she walked up.

  “Sorry, boss. She wanted to work and said she had waitressing experience.”

  “Zander,” Rosalie’s soft voice called his attention back down to her. “This place doesn’t scare me. I’ve walked around…nothing. I don’t remember anything here. Other than substitute teaching, I have no job.”

  He propped his hands on his hips and stared at her, his eyes roaming over her face. Dropping his chin to his chest, he steadied his breathing. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace.

  “You can only be here when I’m here—”

  “Agreed,” she rushed.

  Scowling, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head, his gaze moving over the sparse crowd. “And I don’t want you here when it’s busy. I want to be able to see you at all times.”

  Leaning her head back, she bit her lip as she stared up. “Are you worried that he’ll come back?”

  Sucking in a gasp, he said, “Fuckin’ hell, babe. If I ever see his face again, he’ll suck meals through a straw the rest of his life when I get finished with him.”

  Zander’s voice, more of a growl really, reverberated through Rosalie’s body as she clung to him, both awed by his strength and concerned over his anxiety. “I know you’re worried, Zander, and honestly, I don’t want to put myself in harm’s way. But here, with you and the others around, I’ll be safe. I need to do something. Something normal. I don’t want to confuse healing with h
iding.”

  Her words hit him and Zander knew she was right. I’ve been so busy trying to protect her, I’ve forgotten to let her live. “Okay, princess. You can work, but I’m still going to keep an eye on you.”

  Laughing, she winked as she moved out of his arms. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t!”

  26

  Trailing his fingers over the petal soft skin of Rosalie's shoulders, Zander sighed, his body relaxed after their lovemaking. It surprised him how much he had enjoyed having her at the bar. For the past two weeks, he watched her smile while serving drinks, laughing with Lynn, watching in awe as Joe and Charlene tossed bottles around behind the bar, and joked with Zeke and Roscoe. He made sure she did not get tired and immediately swooped in when she yawned. His employees commented that they saw more of him on the floor in one night with her around than they usually did in a whole week. He just rolled his eyes, but knew they were right.

  Now, lying in bed, legs tangled, arms wrapped tightly around each other, her head on his shoulder, he thought about how his life was changing with her in it.

  “Can you tell me about Miss Ethel?”

  His fingers halted on their path over her skin, her question halting his musings. “Miss Ethel?”

  “I just wondered how you ended up with her,” she said, her soft, warm breath against his chest. Leaning back slightly, she lifted her eyes to his. “It’s just that you know so much about me and I…well, I want to know about you as well.”

  Shifting in the bed, so he was on his back and she was half lying on him, he sighed, “It’s not much of a pretty picture before I got to Miss Ethel’s.”

  “You met me when I wasn’t much of a pretty picture either.”

  He looked down at her, shaking his head. “You were always beautiful to me, princess.”

  “And you’ve always been my hero.” Kissing the underside of his jaw, she waited patiently for him to tell his story.

  “Never knew my dad…not sure my mom did either. She was mostly high, or drunk, or both. I can’t say I was abused, just neglected. I don’t have memories before about the age of four…I guess that’s pretty normal, but I assume she, or someone, must have fed me enough to keep me alive. My first memories are of sitting on the floor of our two-room apartment, waiting to see if she would come home and bring food. I started going to the apartment next door to ask for some. They were nice enough and would make me a peanut butter sandwich. Then they’d yell at my mom when she came staggering in about not feeding me. That’d piss her off.”

  Rosalie gasped, her fingers flexing on his arm as she held him tight. “Oh, Zander…oh, my God.”

  He continued to stroke her back while shaking his head. “It was all I knew, babe. By the time I was six, I’d learned to steal food from the local grocer. Mom would be gone for days, so I’d wander the neighborhood and manage to take enough that I had plenty to eat.”

  “But what about school? Didn’t you get some food there?”

  “Didn’t go to school, babe.”

  Bolting upward, she leaned her hands on his chest, pushing an “umph” from his lips as she shifted to see his face.

  He chuckled. “Damn, honey. You’re strong when you’re upset.”

  “Of course, I’m upset! How could she do that to you?”

  Her indignation sparked warmth deep inside him, staring into her wide, blue eyes. A flash of what kind of mother she would be flew through his mind, knowing she would be the best, and he admitted to himself he wanted to be the one to witness that as she became the mother of his children.

  “Zander, what are you grinning about?”

  “Sorry, I’m just awed at your mama-bear coming out, that’s all. It’s nice to have someone care.”

  “I do care,” she said, her voice soothing as she leaned forward to plant a light kiss on his lips. Settling back, she asked, “When did you get to Miss Ethel?”

  “I got caught one day by a policeman who had seen me sneaking around the grocery. He was kind…probably took one look at me, skinny kid, clothes a mess, hair a mess, and had my situation figured out. He took me home and it was one of the few times my mom was there. The place was a wreck…she was drunk…no food in the kitchen…he saw my bed was a blanket on the floor. He told her he was taking emergency custody. I was scared, thinking I was going to jail.”

  “What did he do?” Rosalie could not imagine how frightened a six-year-old Zander must have been to be taken off by a policeman, no matter how kind he was.

  “A nice lady showed up and took me to a house. I had no idea at the time, but she was a city social worker and I was placed in a temporary foster home. The couple was nice, but it was only temporary. I had a bath, good food, a bed to sleep in, and clean clothes. They enrolled me in school, but I hated it. I remember going in front of a judge and my mom actually showed up to court. Drunk and disorderly.”

  “Oh, my God,” she breathed, her heart hurting for the little boy Zander.

  “Judge took away Mom’s rights and I went to live in another foster home. They were also nice, but,” he shrugged, “I kept sneaking out of school to run the streets. Hated school. Hated feeling stupid because I didn’t know how to read. When I was eight, they placed me with Miss Ethel. I’d never met anyone like her in my life.”

  “Tell me,” she demanded, her eyes now sparkling.

  “You’ve met her…she was pure love…pure discipline…pure patience. She taught me to read. She told the teachers to just care for me and let me learn at my own pace. Then at night, she would read to me. I must have soaked it all in.”

  “And the others?”

  “She took in boys…there were about six or seven of us at a time. Rafe, Cael, Asher, Jayden, and Jaxon and I pretty much grew up together. When I was graduating from high school, she had room to take in others. You met one of them…Zeke.”

  “I’m so glad you ended up with her.”

  “She saved all of us, that’s for sure.” He was quiet for a moment before adding, “That’s why I got this tattoo.”

  Her eyes dropped to his upper arm, where the inked, swirl of flowers ran down his arm.

  “Miss Ethel always had flowers in the yard from spring to fall, but her favorites were her roses. She always smelled of roses as well. Me and Rafe sat in the tattoo parlor when we were eighteen and the guy asked what I wanted.” Chuckling, he said, “I didn’t have a fucking idea, but he showed us a book of some of his work. I saw the flowers and it just hit me. If I was going to have something permanently on my arm, I wanted it to be a reminder of Miss Ethel.”

  “Can I ask what happened to your mom?”

  “When I was fifteen years old, Miss Ethel informed me that my mom had died. I never asked, but I’m fairly sure it was from a drug overdose. You might think I’m hard-hearted, but I didn’t shed a tear. It was as though I was told of the death of someone I didn’t know.”

  She leaned forward, her lips pressed against his chest, right over his heart. “What about after Miss Ethel’s?”

  “Joined the Army right after graduation. Did tours in Afghanistan. Saw shit…did shit. Hated it, but met some good men there. Rafe and Cael joined the year after I did. Hell, Jaxon and Jayden were in the year after that. We weren’t trying to be heroes, but none of us wanted to go to college and the military just seemed like a good way to get a steady paycheck. Our paths crossed occasionally while we were in. By the time we all got out, we found our way back here, keeping track of Miss Ethel, making sure she was still in our lives.”

  “That’s so sweet,” she gushed. “I love that you still take care of her.”

  “Babe, we could never repay our debt to her. But, each one of us would die trying.”

  “What about Grimm’s?”

  Chuckling, he shook his head. “I don’t know…I guess I just always wanted something that was mine. All mine. My mom sure as hell never had money coming in on a regular basis and in the military, I got a paycheck but was always at someone else’s beck and call. I wanted my own business�
��be my own boss. I didn’t know a lot about other businesses, but I knew about bars. Spent time in them when I was younger and in the military.” Shrugging, he said, “It just seemed like a good idea and when I found the old, run-down bar for sale, it called to me.”

  “And the name Grimm’s?”

  The silence stretched and she patiently waited, watching the emotions roll through his eyes.

  “Like I said before, I had no fuckin’ idea what to name it, but Fairy Tales always made me feel like anything was possible. I know the original Grimm Brother’s tales were not like the kid versions today, but that didn’t matter. They just make me think of happy endings.”

  Shifting, he rolled so that they were side by side, faces close with their bodies tangled together. “Now you know all about me.” His hand slid up to her breast, kneading the pliant flesh, tweaking her nipple. “And, I’d like to get to know you again…intimately.”

  Her eyes twinkled as she reached down to stroke his engorged cock. “My pleasure.”

  “Oh, it will be,” he promised, rolling her on top.

  She threw her leg over him, straddling his hips, her core settling at his throbbing cock. With his hands, still on her breasts, he felt their weight as he rolled her nipples. One hand moved over her stomach to her mound and, as she lifted, he pressed his thumb against her clit. Throwing her head back, she rubbed her slick folds over him, desperate for the friction her body craved.

  “Take me, babe. Ride me.”

  His voice, rough and commanding, washed over her, creating a want she needed to satisfy. Centering over his cock, she slowly slid down his shaft, the fullness filling her.

  Zander allowed her to choose the speed, but was barely holding on to his patience. When she was fully seated, he groaned as she began to ride him, rocking up and down on her knees with her hands planted on his shoulders. Her long, blonde hair hung like a curtain around them and he slid his hands from her breasts to her hips, his fingers digging into her ass.