Sweet Surrender s-1

by Maya Banks

  And now her circle had grown to Nathan and Micah. It was an atmosphere she was comfortable in. Finally at home. Now if only her mother would fall off the face of the earth.

  She eyed the phone, willing it to stay silent.

  With a sound of disgust, she whirled around in her chair and stood. She would not allow her mother to ruin her day, week, month…okay year.

  She stalked out of her office and made her rounds to the other offices to collect outgoing mail. When she had a sizable pile, she lumped it onto her desk to wait for the mail carrier. Then she busied herself going over the new job contracts, flagging the ones that needed Pop’s signature.

  At noon, she pulled out the lunch she’d brought from home and ate it while fielding phone calls from potential clients. Micah called to say he and Nathan wouldn’t be back into the office and would be working late. Then Pop called to tell her to go home early and that he’d lock up when he came through later in the afternoon.

  She smiled as she hung up. Pop always seemed to know when she wasn’t her best. He never asked intrusive questions, but he worried over her just the same. That kind of unconditional love was comforting.

  The phone rang again, and she picked it up, expecting to hear Pop again. He usually got sidetracked when he called and would forget what he’d called for in the first place. Which precipitated an immediate call back ninety percent of the time.

  “Malone’s,” she said cheerfully, prepared to tease Pop.

  “Faith, baby, we need to talk.”

  Faith closed her eyes, and her lunch burned a hole in her stomach.

  “Faith, are you there? I need to talk to you.”

  “I’m here,” Faith said faintly.

  “I need some money,” her mother said, forgoing her usual cajoling. “I’m in a bind, baby.”

  “I can’t help you this time,” Faith gritted out. “I’d appreciate it if you would quit calling.”

  A shocked silence fell between them. “Faith, you don’t mean that. I’m your mother. You can’t just cut me out of your life. I need your help. You can’t turn away from me. After all I’ve done for you.”

  Rage curdled Faith’s system. Her vision blurred as the anger built. “All you’ve done for me? You’ve got a hell of a lot of nerve, Celia. What have you ever done for me? I’m happy now. I have a nice life. Without you. I can’t help you. I won’t help you. Not this time. Not ever again. Please don’t call me again.”

  She slammed the phone down, her breath coming in ragged spurts. Her hands trembled, and she felt dangerously close to vomiting. She closed her mouth and sucked in deep breaths through her nose, willing the nausea to pass.

  When her stomach settled, she surged up from her chair, making a grab for her keys and purse. She needed some air. Needed to get away before she succumbed to the urge to start throwing things.

  CHAPTER 5

  Gray stepped into Cattleman’s Bar and Grill and headed for the bar area, intent on throwing back a cold beer. Connor had introduced him to the local pub, a place he and the other guys gathered at after work several days a week.

  When he walked around the divider that separated the bar from the eating area, he was surprised to see Faith sitting on the far side, her legs dangling off the high barstool. One elbow rested on the bar top, and her other hand stirred a drink with the straw.

  He walked forward, but she never looked up. She seemed lost in her own world, not a happy one either. He slid onto the stool next to hers and motioned for the bartender.

  She glanced up at him in surprise as he ordered his beer.

  “You and I seemed to have developed a habit of bumping into each other,” she murmured.

  He smiled. “I’m not following you, if that’s what you’re implying. I’ve been here every day after work. First time I’ve seen you here.”

  She flushed, and he watched in fascination as pink spread into her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to imply anything of the sort. I know Connor and the others come here a lot. But I thought you were all working late today.”

  He shrugged. “We finished up. Pop headed to the office to lock up, and Connor headed home.” He cocked his head and looked probingly at her. “What brings you here?”

  Distress flickered in her eyes, and she quickly looked away. “Just didn’t feel like going home yet,” she said vaguely.

  Gray cursed himself. He’d lay odds her mother had called again, and he hadn’t yet been able to get into the office to do the tap.

  “Have you eaten anything?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “Don’t really feel like eating.”

  “Care if I eat then?”

  She looked back at him, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. He watched in fascination as her tongue swept over her top lip, catching a droplet of her drink.

  “Suit yourself. Far be it for me to get between a man and his meal.”

  “Spoken like a woman who is well acquainted with a man’s needs,” he said, letting her make what she wanted of that statement.

  To his delight she blushed again and ducked her head. She really was too cute with her rampant blushing. He’d begun to harbor the most vivid fantasies of seeing just how far down her body she flushed. Would she be timid in bed? Would her lover have to coax each piece of clothing from her body?

  His entire body tightened. He was as willing as the next guy to have a firebrand in bed, a woman who took charge and rocked his world, but the idea of calling the shots, of maintaining every moment of Faith’s seduction sent a thunderclap of desire shooting straight through his groin.

  Seduction? Jesus. He wasn’t here to seduce her, though God knew he’d enjoy each and every moment. He was here to pump her for information. To use her, by any means necessary, to catch his partner’s killer.

  He motioned for a passing waitress and asked for a burger and fries before turning his attention back to Faith.

  “So how was your day at the office? You look…stressed.”

  She twitched uncomfortably on the stool and took another sip of her drink. Then she forwent the straw and drained the glass in one long swallow.

  “Office was fine. Just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.” She swiveled on her stool and flashed him a bright smile. “So how are you liking the job so far?”

  Classic change of subject. She was definitely hiding something. A complete moron could figure that out. But he didn’t exactly have the kind of personal relationship with her where she would confide in him, and he damn sure didn’t have time to cultivate one.

  “I like it. It’s going well.”

  “Connor said…Connor said that your partner was recently killed.”

  He tried like hell to keep his brow from creasing at the pain her question caused. He didn’t say anything for a long moment.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.”

  Her gaze softly caressed his face, her eyes flashing with sympathy. Lord, but she was sweet. And he’d bet money she felt every bit as soft and delicate as she looked.

  “You aren’t prying,” he said quietly. “It’s not a secret. Yes, my partner—Alex—was killed in the line of duty.”

  Her face scrunched with dismay. “Did they catch the person who did it?”

  “No. Not yet.”

  Her long blond hair fell forward over her shoulder as she turned completely to face him. He wanted to touch it, imagine what it would feel like to wrap his fingers in the strands while he slid his cock into her pussy.

  A tortured groan welled in his chest and stuck there. Okay, granted, he hadn’t gotten laid in longer than he could remember, but he couldn’t blame his reaction to Faith on that. There was something about her that just did it for him. Pushed all the right buttons.

  She elicited all his protective instincts. He wasn’t thinking of hot sex—okay, well, maybe a little. What he was fantasizing about was hot, slow, lovemaking. The kind where a man worshipped at the altar of woman. Where every taste and touch was enjoyed and savored.

  T
hen they could progress to the hot, sweaty fucking.

  Got this all figured out, eh, Montgomery?

  He downed the last of his beer and wondered where the fucking air-conditioning was.

  “How long are you on leave?” she asked. “I mean when do you go back?”

  She leaned forward, giving him just a glimpse of the pale mounds of her breasts, plumped up by the lacy bra she wore.

  “I, uh, I’m not sure yet. I’m just taking it easy. Deciding what to do next.”

  She smiled then, and his eyes were drawn to her face. He couldn’t look away. He’d never wanted to kiss a woman so bad in his life.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” she said sweetly. “Pop is a great man to work for. He views his employees as family. Sometimes…sometimes you just need to get away from everything, you know? Maybe that’s just what you need. Time away.”

  “What kind of things do you need to get away from, Faith?” he asked softly.

  Her expression froze, and he could see her mentally retreating. Damn it all to hell.

  The waitress returned and plunked the plate of food down in front of him, and the bartender slid another beer across the bar to him.

  Gray reached for the ketchup and opened the cap, prepared to douse the burger and fries. He paused then looked back over at Faith. “Sure you don’t want some of this?”

  She smiled and reached for a fry. “Typical guy. Have to drown everything in ketchup.”

  “I’ll refrain just for you.” He pushed his plate over so it straddled the space between them. Then he proceeded to dump ketchup in a confined space on the plate.

  As he watched her nibble on one of the fries, a sudden thought occurred to him.

  “Are you meeting someone here? Am I keeping you?”

  She gave him a puzzled look and shook her head.

  He dunked a fry in the ketchup and raised it to his mouth. “Not hooking up with the boyfriend?”

  Again a delicate pink blush bloomed on her cheeks.

  “There’s no longer a boyfriend,” she said lightly.

  Could this be the reason for her melancholy? But no, she had a wariness about her that signaled more stress than sadness. He was still betting on the mother. He just wished he knew how involved Faith was at this point.

  “He’s an idiot,” Gray muttered.

  She laughed, and he pulled his head up, transfixed by the sound.

  “I guess I’m the idiot. I was the one who ended things.”

  “He’s still an idiot.”

  Smiling, she motioned to the bartender for another drink. “You sound just like one of the guys.”

  He raised a brow. “Which guys?”

  “Connor, Micah and Nathan.”

  “Well, I definitely don’t see you as my damn sister.”

  Her eyes widened. “What do you see me as?”

  Now that was a provocative damn question. Maybe she wasn’t as shy as he thought. She stared back at him, unblinking.

  “Beautiful.”

  He chuckled as she blushed yet again.

  “What? What’s so funny?”

  “You’re adorable when you blush, and you do it so easily.”

  Her brow furrowed, and her lips turned down into a frown. “Adorable? I much prefer beautiful to adorable.”

  He reached over and touched her arm. “What if I find you both?”

  A warm tingle spread up Faith’s arm as Gray’s fingers brushed across her skin. She swallowed the knot in her throat. She wasn’t some inexperienced virgin, but here, sitting in such close proximity to a man telling her she was beautiful—and adorable—had her completely flustered.

  She loved the subtle complexities of attraction. Loved the feeling and challenge of meeting someone new and exploring those first awkward moments as they felt around, both being subtle yet forward.

  “I can live with that,” she said huskily.

  He withdrew his hand and resumed eating. She wanted him to touch her again. A simple caress, him looking at her just so, his masculine scent…her stomach curled into a nervous knot of anticipation.

  She studied him as he ate, watched his movements. He was strong and confident. She liked that. But would it extend to the bedroom? Would it extend to his relationships? She shook her head a bit. No more was she leaving it all to chance. How many more men would she have to go through before she found what she wanted? Would she ever find what she wanted—no, needed?

  Friday seemed a light-year away. She was nervous as hell at the idea of waltzing into some fetish club by herself, but another part of her was proud of the fact that she’d ventured so far out of her comfort zone.

  Strong. Confident. If she wanted those qualities in a man, then maybe it was time she started exhibiting them herself. Like attracted like, didn’t it?

  “I’d give up beer for a week to know what’s going on inside your head right now.”

  She blinked and refocused and saw that Gray was staring at her. “Oh, sorry. Was just thinking.”

  He chuckled. “Like I said, I’d love to know about what.”

  She wouldn’t blush. Would. Not. Blush. She could feel herself losing the battle as the wave of heat crept up her neck. Damn it.

  He hooted with laughter and picked up a napkin to wipe his mouth. “That blush just gave you away, darlin’.”

  She groaned. “It’s not polite to keep pointing out my faults.”

  He leaned forward and tipped her chin up with his finger. “Not a fault at all. I find it sexy as hell.”

  Goose bumps trickled down her spine, back up again and over her shoulders. Her nipples tightened, and the muscles in her pussy constricted.

  A dot of ketchup rested in the corner of his mouth, and it gave her an excuse to touch him. God, she wanted to touch him. She raised a finger and gently wiped the ketchup away. When she would have withdrawn her hand to wipe it on a napkin, he captured her finger then raised it to his mouth.

  His lips closed hot over the tip, then his tongue swirled over the skin, licking away the ketchup. The action sent a shock wave through her system. She sat, stunned at her reaction.

  Slowly he pulled her hand away, sliding his tongue along her finger until it left his mouth. When he released her, she let her hand fall to her lap, trying to disguise the shaking.

  “I should go,” she said, saying the first thing that popped into her mind. That was a lie. She didn’t want to go but didn’t know what to say or how to react to the blatant sensuality between them.

  “Why don’t I follow you back?” he offered. “I’m headed home too. I’ll see you to your door.”

  “O-okay.” She sucked in several steadying breaths so her voice didn’t waver so damn much. After collecting her purse, she dug for her cash and started to flip a few bills onto the countertop.

  Gray held out a hand and shoved her money back to her. “I got it.”

  She slowly pulled the money back and stuck it back in her purse. “Thanks.”

  She waited as he paid their tabs, and then he turned around to face her. “Shall we?” he asked, gesturing toward the exit.

  Why did this feel like a freaking date? And why was she so damn nervous? She was never this insecure, this jittery. She’d never felt anything but comfortable with her dates. Was that the problem? Had they all been nothing more than buddies? Nice boys whom she had nice sex with?

  Nice sex. Ugh. She wanted the dirty kind. The hot, sweaty, make-you-scream sex.

  She walked ahead of him, but he caught up to her and put his hand to the small of her back as they walked into the parking lot. It was a protective gesture, one that made her feel cherished. And she liked that feeling. Liked it a lot.

  He opened her car door and ushered her inside, closing the door behind her. She sat there and watched him return to his truck. Watched his determined stride, the way his jeans hugged his ass.

  When he slid into the driver’s seat, she started her car and backed out of her space. Fifteen minutes later, she pulled into her assigned parking spot outsi
de her apartment and cut the engine.

  She got out and walked around to the front of the car, waiting as Gray approached from three spaces down. There was an awkward pause as he waited for her to start ahead once more. Then, as before, he put his hand to her back, sliding his fingers seductively down her spine to rest in the hollow.

  She barely controlled the tremble that threatened to take over her body. When they reached her door, she couldn’t help the pang of disappointment that their interlude was over.

  Withdrawing her key, she unlocked the door then looked up at him. His eyes burned into her and seemed to concentrate on her lips. Was he thinking of kissing her?

  Her lips parted, and she sucked in a catchy breath. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He leaned in closer and trailed a finger down her cheek. “I’m counting on it.”

  His mouth hovered temptingly over hers. Her gaze flickered over his face. She could see the pulse in his neck. He swallowed once then twice and slowly pulled away as if he’d just undergone an epic battle with himself.

  A surge of disappointment knifed through her. He wasn’t going to kiss her. She smiled shakily. “See you then.” She turned and walked into her apartment, turning only to give him a small wave.

  He stood, unmoving, watching her until finally she shut the door. Once fully inside, she sagged against the door and closed her eyes.

  You are such a chickenshit.

  She could have just kissed him. No law said she had to wait on him. And he’d wanted to; she could tell that much. She mentally replayed the sensation of his tongue sliding over her finger. She could easily imagine his mouth on her body, moving delicately across her rib cage, to the underswell of her breast and then finally to her nipples.

  A groan escaped her as her breasts ached, a tingle knotting the tips into taut beads. Hard to believe that just the other night she’d enjoyed mediocre sex with John. Now in light of what she felt Gray could give her, her past experiences paled in comparison. And she hadn’t even gone to bed with him yet.