Promising Hearts

by Radclyffe

  Vance turned the knob but did not go out. “You make me wish for things I have learned to live without.”

  “Doing without and not wanting are different.”

  “Yes.” Vance pushed open the door and stepped into the hall. “Good night, Mae.”

  Mae sat down on the edge of the bed as the door swung closed. She leaned her head against the bedpost and closed her eyes, remembering the way Vance had felt in her arms. And what am I to do with the things you’ve made me want?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Vance found Caleb asleep in the front room of the office with his feet up on the desk. She closed the door quietly behind her and started toward the dispensary area in the rear.

  “He hasn’t come around yet,” Caleb said without opening his eyes.

  “I’ll stay with him now. You go on home.”

  Caleb eased his feet off the desk, his chair creaking in protest as he shifted his weight forward. Wearily, he rubbed at the stubble on his chin. “Must be about time to get up.”

  “It’s going on six.” Vance inclined her head toward the back room. “If you get a few more hours’ sleep, you can spell me here later. Then I’ll take care of the out calls.”

  “You spent most of yesterday on a horse, didn’t you?”

  Vance hesitated a second. The events of the day before seemed to be in the far-distant past. “I did, yes. But there’s no reason I can’t do it again.”

  “I wasn’t entirely sure I needed help out here until you arrived,” Caleb said as he stood and stretched. “Now I see that there’s a lot of things that didn’t get done because I didn’t have time to do them before. There are a good many people who will be a lot better off because one of us will be able see to them more often. Since we’re partners, we should share the work.”

  “I expect it will take a bit more time before I’ve earned that right,” Vance said quietly.

  “Out here, things are simpler than I expect you’re used to. You’re here, you’re doing a good job, and I need you to keep doing it. That’s all the time it takes for me to see how things should be.”

  With a shake of her head, Vance said, “I don’t know that I would call your way of thinking simple. Practical, or perhaps honest.”

  Caleb shrugged. “The point is, life’s too short to waste time thinking about how to live it. Best just to do it.”

  Vance thought of Mae’s parting words and wondered if she really was afraid of living. She’d never thought of it before, never really considered her choices. The world was black and white and she knew her place in it. Now, with Victor gone, she was alone as she had never been before. She’d lost her home, her most intimate relationship, her sense of wholeness in less than a year. Along the way, she’d lost herself as well. She sighed. “I’d better see to him.”

  “I’ll head on home for a while. See the missus and get something to eat.” Caleb donned his hat and coat. “If something urgent comes up, send someone for me.”

  “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

  He eyed her curiously. “For what?”

  “For giving me this chance.”

  “Can’t say as I’ve done anything except recognize a good deal when I see one. If it’s something more than that for you, it’s of your own making.” He shrugged. “When you get down to it, everyone out here is working on another chance.”

  Vance smiled. “Then I guess I’m not so different.”

  “Nope,” Caleb said as he opened the front door and breathed deeply of the crisp morning air. “Not much different where it counts. See you later, Vance.”

  “Good day, Caleb.” When the door closed behind him, Vance opened the inner door and stepped into the dim back room. The air smelled of medicines and must and horses. The odor of death and decay that had been so pervasive in the hospital tents during the war was gone. As she approached the bed where Jed lay beneath a light cover, she saw his eyelids flicker. Quickly, she put her hand on his shoulder, anticipating his awakening.

  “Jed,” she said firmly, hoping to penetrate his drug- and pain-fogged mind. “You’re at Doc Melbourne’s. You’ve been shot, Jed, but you’re still among the living.”

  Slowly, Jed opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. He clutched at the covers, as if they could shield him from further harm. He coughed and groaned quietly.

  “I’m Dr. Phelps. You’re at Doc Melbourne’s now. We took the bullet out last night. You’re doing very well.”

  “Where’s Jess?”

  Vance was caught off guard by the question and struggled to make sense of it. She hadn’t paid any attention to the other cowboys who had been gathered near the office when she’d made her way in the night before. “I don’t kno—” Jed pushed the covers back and struggled to sit. “Here now, don’t try to get up.”

  The slightest pressure from Vance’s hand on Jed’s shoulder prevented him from rising. Frowning, he shifted in agitation beneath her restraining grip. “Is she hurt? Did they get her, too? I want to see her.”

  Her. Vance nodded in understanding, recalling Kate with the tall rangy blond the night before. Then she remembered where she’d first seen the unusual cowboy—the day she’d arrived on the stage they’d exchanged a few words in the street. So that was Jessie. Kate’s Jessie, apparently, if the intimacy that was obvious between them meant anything. The night she’d escorted Kate home, Kate had said she’d found her love in New Hope. Love for Jessie. Vance was taken with a surge of wonder mixed with a bit of envy. This land was indeed filled with possibility.

  “Jessie is fine,” Vance said emphatically. “I expect she’ll be along anytime. I’m going to give you something for your pain…and don’t tell me you’re not having any.”

  Jed closed his eyes. “I wasn’t thinking I would.”

  “This won’t take away all the discomfort,” Vance said as she opened the bottle of laudanum. “Too much of this and you’ll trade one misery for another.”

  “Don’t want much of it.”

  “You needn’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on things.” She rested the spoon against his lips and when he opened his mouth a fraction she tipped the liquid onto his tongue. She could remember the faintly bitter taste and the rapid spread of soothing heat through her bloodstream that softened her muscles, blunted her pain, and culminated in a blessed state of forgetfulness. On occasion she still succumbed to the need to escape, but a bottle of whiskey was all she would allow herself. The alcohol was far easier to leave behind the next day. “Go ahead and sleep.”

  When she was certain that Jed was resting comfortably, she returned to the front office, leaving the adjoining door ajar. She settled into Caleb’s chair, propped her feet on the desk in the same scuffed spot where he obviously rested his with regularity, and closed her eyes. She did not expect to sleep; a light doze was all she usually was able to accomplish under any circumstances.

  The thud of boot heels on wood brought her bolting to her feet, her hand on her revolver.

  “Whoa,” Jessie exclaimed, stopping abruptly. She recognized the doctor, but could tell from the wild fire in her eyes she’d been somewhere else just seconds before and wasn’t quite altogether here even now. “I’m Jessie Forbes. That’s my man back there. I’ve come to see him.”

  “I remember you.” Vance took a deep breath and focused on the present. From the looks of the sunlight visible through the front windows, she’d been asleep for at least an hour, if not more. She couldn’t remember dreaming, which was unusual. “He’s probably asleep, but he was asking for you earlier.”

  Jessie’s eyes lit up. “He was awake?”

  “For a minute or so.”

  “So he’s going to be all right?”

  Vance walked to the dispensary door and closed it. “I don’t know. The bullet came out cleanly but the wound is deep. He lost a fair amount of blood.”

  Jessie paled and forced her shoulders back, as if preparing for a fight. She studied the rail-thin, dark-haired doctor with the haunted eyes, trying to decide how much store to p
ut in her opinion. She noticed her hand had relaxed and moved away from her sidearm. She’d come awake ready to fight, which meant she’d had to more than a time or two. Jessie respected that. The missing arm said a lot about her, too. Wounds like that killed most men. So she was strong as well as tough. Jessie judged that was as much as she needed to know. “What else?”

  “In his favor,” Vance went on, “he looks like a fighter.”

  Jessie smiled wryly. “I wouldn’t want to take him on.”

  “That’s good. He’ll need to be tough.” Vance settled a hip on the corner of the desk. “It’ll be a few weeks before he’s on his feet, if things go well. Another couple before he can ride.”

  “When can we move him to the ranch?”

  “It might be better if he stayed in town. It would be easier for me or Doc Melbourne to check him, and he’ll need some proper nursing.”

  “Mae would be willing to take care of him here,” Jessie said. “She’s done it before. She’s done it for me. Still, I’d feel better if he was at the Rising Star.”

  “I didn’t realize Mae did that kind of thing,” Vance said quietly.

  “There isn’t much Mae can’t do, and nothing she wouldn’t do for a friend.”

  Vance heard the admiration and affection in Jessie’s voice and felt a ripple of jealousy. Jessie Forbes gave every sign of being what Vance had once been—cocksure of herself, strong and fit, in charge of her life. She was also a handsome woman, clear eyed and well built. Vance could see her swinging Mae off her feet, Mae with her arms around those strong shoulders, laughing—

  “Can I see him now?” Jessie asked.

  “Yes,” Vance said swiftly, forcing the painful images from her mind. “Of course.”

  *

  “Mae!” Kate called as she recognized her friend crossing the street toward the hotel. She hurried down the board sidewalk toward her.

  “You’re in town early,” Mae said, lifting her skirts to climb the two stairs up to the raised walkway that ran along the front of the buildings.

  “Jessie and I stayed at the hotel last night. Jessie has gone off to check on Jed. I was just on my way to the newspaper office to see if my father had come into work yet.” Kate slipped her arm through Mae’s. “What luck that I ran into you.”

  “I’m not usually up this early,” Mae said wryly. “But since I am, I thought I’d get breakfast at the hotel.”

  “Oh, let’s do. I couldn’t keep Jessie still long enough to feed her. All she wanted was to see Jed. Then she was going to return the buckboard we borrowed last night and meet me back here.”

  “I imagine she’ll be hungry once her worry is settled a bit.” Mae paused as they neared the hotel. “You’re really not fretting that there’ll be gossip about us?”

  Kate stopped and regarded Mae seriously. “Of course I’m not. You’re my best friend.”

  “Lord, Kate,” Mae said. “You’re as stubborn as Jessie is. You just hide it better.”

  Laughing, Kate drew Mae inside. “It’s a good thing I am, because between you and Jessie I’ve got my hands full.”

  They crossed the lobby, which was empty save for several worn sofas and chairs, to the dining room off to one side. To Kate’s surprise, Rose Mason and her mother sat at one of the small tables having tea and biscuits. Rose’s face lit up when she saw them, but Clarissa Mason’s turned to stony disapproval.

  “Kate!” Rose exclaimed, waving. “Come join us.”

  Kate saw Clarissa lean close to her daughter and whisper into her ear with some urgency, a disapproving admonishment Kate surmised. Suppressing a smile of satisfaction at the thought of Clarissa Mason’s distress, Kate nevertheless shook her head. She had no desire to put Mae in a situation where she would be uncomfortable. “Thank you, but we wouldn’t want to intrude.”

  “We were just about to leave,” Clarissa Mason said brittlely.

  “Oh, Mama,” Rose objected. “You know Anna said she wouldn’t be ready for our fitting for at least another hour.” As Kate and Mae started toward a nearby table, Rose announced, “We’re having dresses made with some of the material we brought back from Denver. They’re going to be in the latest style.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” Kate said with what she hoped was an appropriate degree of enthusiasm. She thought of her plans to adjust her own clothing to suit her new activities at the ranch and how appalled Rose would be at the outcome. How much her life had changed since coming to New Hope and finding Jessie. Finding herself. Although never as interested in fashion and social dealings as her girlfriends had been, she now found such concerns frivolous in the extreme.

  “You go on ahead, Mama. I know you want to talk to Mrs. Frankel at the store. I’ll have tea with Kate and…” Rose stared at Mae with added interest.

  “I’m so sorry for my bad manners,” Kate said, turning aside for a moment to ask for tea and biscuits from the boy who had come out from the kitchen to inquire. She smiled at Rose, who hurried to join them despite a disapproving cluck from her mother. “This is my friend Mae.”

  “Hello,” Mae said.

  “I’m so happy to meet you,” Rose said as she settled at the table Kate and Mae had chosen.

  “Likewise, I’m sure,” Mae said, one elegant eyebrow raised.

  Clarissa Mason paused by the table long enough to give her daughter a hard stare, then said coolly, “Don’t be long. We have a great many things to do this morning before our appointment for tea at the Millers’.”

  “I’ll be there shortly,” Rose said. As soon as her mother disappeared, Rose leaned forward conspiratorially. “I heard that there was excitement last night at Doc Melbourne’s.” She glanced at Kate. “Is it true that someone from the Rising Star was shot?”

  “Yes,” Kate said quietly. “Our foreman, Jed.”

  “Did Vance take care of him?”

  Mae didn’t miss the eager emphasis Rose placed on Vance’s name. She narrowed her eyes and studied her thoughtfully. Rose was very much like the young girls she had grown up with, the daughters of privileged families who rebelled against the restrictions imposed upon them by dabbling in what they perceived to be exotic or dangerous pursuits. Sometimes that took the form of romantic liaisons with men their parents would find unsuitable. She could imagine that Vance, being so very different from any of the women or men with whom Rose was familiar, would seem exciting and intriguing. Vance was surely handsome enough to turn any woman’s eye, if only out of sheer appreciation for simple beauty. She wondered if the woman Vance had mentioned being attracted to in medical school had been anything like Rose, delicately lovely and undoubtedly eagerly passionate. She pushed the thought aside, because envisioning Vance with Rose or any other woman was more than she could tolerate under the best of circumstances. After a tempestuous night and very little sleep, she was likely to become dangerously ill-tempered.

  “Yes, she did. She was wonderful,” Kate enthused. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “I really think we should have some kind of welcoming party for her, don’t you?” Rose said. “After all, she’s a very important new member of our community. I think we should let her know how much we appreciate her.”

  Kate glanced quickly at Mae, whose expression suggested she was contemplating violence. “I’m sure Dr. Phelps would appreciate that. Right now, I imagine she’ll be very busy taking care of Jed and all her other responsibilities.”

  “Will Jed be recuperating here in town?” Rose asked.

  Kate shook her head. “No, Jessie will want him back at the ranch as soon as possible.”

  “You’ll need help looking after him,” Rose said. “I’m sure my mother would give me permission to help you. After all, it’s the neighborly thing to—”

  “That’s very kind of you,” Mae said flatly. “I’ve already offered to give Kate a hand, and I’ve had a great deal of experience with it.”

  “Oh.” Rose looked crestfallen and then brightened after a few seconds. “Well, I’m sure you’ll
be needing extra food prepared and things like that. I’ll be sure to bring some out.”

  “That would be very nice,” Kate said, carefully not looking in Mae’s direction. It wouldn’t do to laugh.

  “Well,” Rose said, rising. “I should go before my mother gets upset.” She smiled at Mae. “It was very nice to meet you.”

  Mae found it hard not to like her naïve friendliness and smiled despite the nagging image of Rose turning her considerable charms on Vance. “Same here.”

  Kate waited a beat until Rose was out of earshot, then said, “You don’t really have to come all the way out to the ranch to help with Jed.”

  “I don’t mind.” Mae sipped the tea that had been delivered while Rose had been scheming to find a way to see Vance. “It’s difficult work.”

  “I’m not afraid of that.”

  “I know, but I might be able to show you some things.”

  Kate nodded. “I’d appreciate that. And you know you’re always welcome at the ranch, without needing a reason.” Kate reached for a biscuit and grinned at Mae. “Rose is very curious about Vance.”

  “I noticed that.”

  “Vance is very striking.”

  “I noticed that, too.”

  “I thought perhaps you had.” Kate grew suddenly serious. “I think she’s quite marvelous.”

  “So do I,” Mae said softly.

  “Well, then it’s a good thing you’ll be coming out to the ranch to help with Jed.”

  “I wonder when Vance will let Jessie take him home.”

  Kate glanced across the room. “Why don’t we ask her?”

  Mae looked over her shoulder and saw Vance and Jessie approaching. It was the first time she’d seen them together. They were as different as night and day, Jessie golden and radiantly vigorous, Vance dark and broodingly potent. They were of a kind, and yet completely individual. They were painfully beautiful. “Oh my.”

  “Yes,” Kate murmured. “I always thought that Jessie was just Jessie. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”