My Last First Kiss

by Weston Parker

  What did she look like naked now? How did she like to be fucked? Slow and deep? Hard and fast?

  Visions blew through my mind of what it would feel like to hold her hips as she rode me slow and sensually. To reach up and palm her breasts before sitting up and taking care to worship her in any way she wanted me to.

  I stroked myself again and moaned as I lifted my hips and trusted into my hand. How badly I wanted to run my hands all over her, touching every part of her and opening her up to pleasure like she'd yet to experience. My brother was a greedy lover from his fucked up stories, but me... I wanted her pleasure far more than my own - almost to a fault.

  My stomach drew tight as I worked myself to the edge of orgasm and stopped, squeezing the tip of my cock and panting loudly in the dark.

  What did she taste like? Would she let me lay back and enjoy the flavor of her on my tongue if I begged her to crawl up and spread her taut thighs for me? Let me drink her completely?

  My heart raced in my chest as I could almost hear the deep, guttural sound of her moaning somewhere in the distance. She'd been timid as a girl, but I wasn't much better. Our one time together was awkward and embarrassing at best. It was a good thing we loved each other so damn much. We'd not have made it out of the bedroom without the other holding onto us.

  But the sound of her voice, shaking as she whispered how much she loved me.

  I groaned and thrust hard and fast, taking my pain out on my cock as I came over the edge and buckled as my body exploded. I pressed into my hand until I couldn't stand it anymore.

  She wasn't a girl anymore, and I was almost assured that she wasn't in love with me, though I wanted to force her to be once again. Maybe it wasn't through the softer emotions like love that I could subtly win her back.

  Maybe it was through the delicious tension of sex. Or was I over-thinking it? She was happy with Luke, right? But what if he was cheating on her? It would be my responsibility to tell her.

  But would she even begin to believe me? Probably not. I needed to find out the truth first.

  ***

  I was surprised to find Olivia and Zander already in the conference room, working through notes when I got to the office at a quarter till six. The laughter from the open door as I approached brought a warmth to me that I'd almost forgotten existed. I paused by the door and closed my eyes, staying out of sight as I listened to the sound of her laughter. I was a love-sick fool with no hope but to cover it up and suffer in silence.

  Or steal my brother's girl. Both sounded like horrible ideas.

  "He's actually a great guy though. He's a prankster." Zander laughed again.

  "Is he? He seems like a good guy." Olivia's voice softened as if she were slipping into a memory. I wanted to save her from it.

  "Don't give me too much credit." I walked in and winked at them. "You were talking about me, right?"

  "Of course, boss." Zander walked to the door. "I'm getting coffee. It should be ready. You guys want some?"

  "No," Olivia glanced up, "I drink-"

  "Tea." I turned and looked at Zander. "Black Earl Tea with three sugars."

  "Wow. You know your shit." Zander laughed and walked out.

  "Still drinking old lady drinks?" I smiled and moved up beside her to review the slides on the open laptop next to her.

  "You need to be careful or these people are going to figure out that there was something between us at one time."

  "They should know by a ring on your finger." I shrugged and ignored her hard stare. All my plans of keeping things calm and on an even kilter with her flew out the window the minute I was next to her. "Nothing turned out like I'd planned."

  "You were going to give me a ring?" The sound of her choking up caused me to stand up and turn to face her.

  "Of course I was. I still have it." I smiled at the thought of how silly it looks compared to most rings the women at the firm wore. "It's incredibly small, but all I could afford back then. Your father didn't pay much for hauling hay, but I think he'd have been proud where I spent my money. How is he? How's your mom?"

  She nodded and pressed her fingers to her eyes, wiping away a few tears. "Mom's good. Dad died my freshman year of college."

  Sadness drove a spike deep into my chest. I'd had a closer relationship with Olivia's father than my own. Why hadn't I known he'd died? Why didn't Jake say something if no one else?

  "I'm so sorry. Fuck. That's horrible. What happened?" I reached out and gripped her arms. "Hey, we don't have to talk about this. Ignore me. I'm just living in the past this morning."

  "Cancer." She looked up and stole my breath with her beauty. It was another moment where I wanted to lean down and steal hers back with the passion of a long, probing kiss. I released her instead and turned back to the laptop.

  "Wow. I'm so sorry, Olivia. I wish I'd have known. I would have come to the funeral."

  "It's okay. It's for the better." She walked down to the other side of the room and sat down before flipping through a file. "Luke's doing introductions to start us off this morning, then you, and I'm wrapping it up. That sound okay with you?"

  "Absolutely. Let's get some notes together on what parts each of us are covering, so we can make sure we don't trip over each other. Luke and I have our spiel down, but adding you to the mix is going to prove to be interesting."

  "Where is the ring?" she asked softly.

  I looked up and turned to watch her closely. "It's at my momma's house. In a little black box at the top of my closet. Unless she moved it, but you know she's far too into her soap operas to clean up anything. It's still there with dust all over it I'm sure."

  "Can I see it?" She brushed her long blonde hair from her face as she watched me. Her expression didn't match up to her claims not to care for me anymore.

  "Of course. When we go back home next week, I'll ride out there and get it. I'll show you when we get back here. Sound good?"

  "Or maybe I can come out to your momma's house with you." She looked back down and started to work on something that looked like an outline.

  "She'd like that a lot."

  "Would she?" She laughed sardonically but didn't look up. "My mom would pull out daddy's shotgun on you."

  "Would she? Your momma used to love me." I put my hands on my hips, feeling more like myself talking to her than I had in six years. She brought me back to the core of who I was at heart - a country boy trying to play like I wasn't. Never in a million years had I imagined myself wearing a suit, and yet here I was - in the middle of someone else's life.

  "Used to. Past tense." She glanced up and smirked. "After all that shit our senior year, she wrote you off. You stole my innocence and condemned me to hell, remember?"

  I couldn't help but chuckle as she did as well. "Then we're both going there. My parents were quite proud that we slept together. They figured if we were going to be together forever, then we might as well get started."

  She balked. "No the hell they didn't. Your daddy might have, but not your momma."

  "All right, you got me there. Mom grounded me from life for the last few months of our senior year, but it's not like it mattered. Losing you shut me down completely." I brushed my fingers across my lips. Were we getting into this now? Before this big presentation? I felt like I was skating on thin ice with steel-toed boots on.

  "You losing me was your choice. Your actions closed the door on what could have been."

  "I used to think you were going to be my wife, Olivia. The mother of my kids."

  "Used to. Past tense." She glanced down and Zander walked back in the room, closing out the conversation completely.

  Chapter 17

  Olivia

  We worked through the rest of the presentation and didn't say another word about our past, which I was more than grateful for. The mention of a ring almost bent me over emotionally. Why in the world had he thought to buy me a ring and then stabbed me in the heart with his rumors about us? Why would someone do that? Nothing matched up. The good-hearted boy
that held me on the swing every evening in the summer on my momma's front porch was not the same guy that told the school I was a slut. No way.

  But it had happened just like that. I had to shake it off and get myself in go-mode. It was time to step up and win more business for the firm, which would not only impress Luke but seal the rightness of his decision to bring me on board.

  "We done? Ready?" I picked up my copy of our notes and walked toward the door.

  Caden glanced over his shoulder, his eyes moving down my body and leaving me weak in the knees.

  "Yeah. Let's meet up in ten minutes in the large conference room in the lobby. You going to grab Luke?"

  "If he's here. Yeah. See you in there." I turned and walked out into the hallway. People bustled by me, saying good morning here and there. I walked into Luke's office to find him on the phone.

  He motioned for me to close the door behind me.

  "Yes, Sam. I understand. Talk with Annie and get on my calendar. We'll figure it out together, or I'll bring Caden in and he can work through it with us." Luke laughed. "He's the brains behind the operation and I'm the suave one."

  I rolled my eyes and moved over to stand by his windows. The view of the city was spectacular from that high up.

  He finished his call and moved up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning down to kiss my cheek. "I miss you. It's been three or four days since I've had you. That's far too long."

  "I was trying to spend some time with Dana." I turned in his arms and slid my hands up his chest. As much as I wanted something to spark back to life with Caden, it was wrong to want it. Even if everything worked out between us, there was still the issue of Luke. I couldn't ask Caden to do something so vile to his brother, nor could I. Not to mention the loss of our partnership, which I was just starting to work toward. It would ruin everything. Was love worth that? Some part of me knew it was, but I had to ignore it - for all of us.

  "When is she gone?" He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.

  "She took a cab this morning to the airport." I lifted to my toes and pressed my lips against his again, closing my eyes and enjoying how good of a kisser he was. His tongue rolled past mine and I groaned as my nipples budded. "I need you."

  "Good. I need you too, baby." He slid his hands down my back and cupped my ass tightly before leaning in for a more aggressive, hungry kiss.

  I slid my hand into his hair and tightened my hold on him as the sound of the door opening behind us caused my heart to almost stop in my chest.

  "Luke, we need-" Caden.

  I moved back and brushed my hands down the front of my shirt as Luke turned toward his brother and growled. "Fucking knock."

  "I'm sorry. I'm just used to walking in." Caden's eyes moved over to me, and I couldn't help but feel incredibly ashamed. I'd been thinking about Caden just before making out with Luke, but I couldn't give up my life for a hope, a wish that wasn't going to come to fruition. By the look on his impossibly handsome face, he was hoping that I would.

  "No worries. We ready to do this?" Luke glanced over at me and back toward Caden, whose expression had hardened. He was pissed.

  "Yes. I'll meet you guys in there." I walked by Luke, who popped my ass and growled softly.

  Caden moved back and opened the door wider. "The computer is set up and everything is ready to go."

  "Thanks," I whispered and averted my eyes from him as I moved into the hallway. Some part of me wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for a while. I felt like I'd cheated on him, which was absurd.

  "Hey." His voice stopped me.

  I turned to see him closing Luke's door. "What?"

  "Do you love him?" He stood in the middle of the hall, reminding me so much of the little boy I grew up to love with every ounce of my heart. We'd been through so fucking much together, but we were grown now.

  "I'm with him, right?" I turned and walked down the hall toward the conference room. Why couldn't I just fucking lie? If I could just tell Caden that I loved Luke, he would back off.

  Because I don't want that. It would be worse than death to see him back off, to feel him leave again.

  "That isn't an answer, Olivia." He moved in behind me in the conference room and gripped my arm, pulling me back as he closed the door. "I have to know. Please. Just tell me if you love him."

  "Love is irrelevant, Caden. It's for little girls with stars in their eyes. This is the real world, and Luke fits into my life."

  "Which is a lie."

  "What?" I pulled from him and put my hands on my hips. We were headed back into a fighting match, which was exhausting me more than the desire to take him down to the floor and fuck him mercilessly.

  "Your life is a lie." He shrugged and slipped his hands into his pockets. "So is mine. It's all good, just don't sugar coat a turd. It doesn't work."

  "It's don't try to put lipstick on a pig." I laughed in spite of the anger still rolling through me. "Sugar on a turd. Interesting."

  I moved toward the front of the room only to have him grab me and pull me back toward him. I pressed my hands into his thick chest and looked up slowly, coveting the delicious muscles of his neck and the strong masculine features of his face. His green eyes left my heart racing, my stomach tightening painfully.

  "Do you love him?" He reached up and touched the side of my face. "Tell me. I'll shut the door on the past and leave it alone if you love him."

  "Do you love me?" I slid my hands down his chest and over his sides to rest on the tightness of his stomach. "Not back then. Now."

  "Not fair." He brushed my hair from my shoulders and cupped my neck. "You're so fucking beautiful. You have no clue how precious you are, do you? From your button nose to your long silky hair. The strong confidence and intelligence that radiates from you, and best of all…" He moved one hand down to rest above my left breast, rubbing softly as his eyes followed his movements.

  My breath caught in my chest as need attacked every inch of me with hot desire.

  "Your sweetheart. There are so few women like you. Stop living a life that isn't yours." He moved his hand back up to cup my neck and brushed his thumbs under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "You asked me if I still love you. You sure you wanna know? You seemed pretty content with my brother."

  "He's my boyfriend." I started to pull back as guilt left me feeling like a whore, but Caden held on tightly, locking me into place with his strength.

  "No. You don't get to run right now." He brushed his thumb against my lips. "I've loved you since I was ten years old. That hasn't changed a bit, nor will it ever. I'm damned to test every woman against who I imagine you to be, none of them measuring up at all. Seeing you with Luke destroys me, and yet I can't walk away. So yeah... I did love you with all of my heart."

  "And you still do." My lip quivered as I lifted on my toes and pressed against his hold to kiss him hard. I didn't know what it meant or how we could figure it out, but I couldn't leave him standing there vulnerable and broken in front of me. I would never leave him hurt for a minute if I could find a way to make it stop.

  I just wasn't sure if he would return the favor. We had a lot to figure out.

  Chapter 18

  Five Days Later

  Caden

  We had pretty much avoided each other for the first part of the next week, neither of us too sure what to say to the other. One thing was for damn sure... she still had feelings for me. Whether it was love or something less intense, I wasn't sure. I planned on finding out on our trip to Texas for sure.

  I adjusted my tie on the way into the restaurant that morning and glanced around to see if Luke had arrived yet. We were meeting with Frank Billingsly, which was one of my favorite clients that Luke and I had picked up. He was a Texas oilman, and where my brother had very little in common with him, I had tons. Luke always made sure to have me at the meetings with Frank so that we had a better chance of keeping the old coot happy.

  Frank waved me over as I continued to scan the f
aces in the old-timey diner.

  I walked over and extended my hand. "Mr. Billingsly. So good to see you."

  "You too, son. Sit on down." He chuckled heartily as he shook my hand. "Your uppity brother is late, as per usual."

  "Traffic is a bitch today. I had to leave the house half an hour early to make sure I could get over here in time." I ignored his comment about Luke. "Are you staying in the city for a few days?"

  "No, I'm headed home later today. I've had enough of you fancy-pants guys. Well, those guys." He pointed to the people around him as I laughed. "Not you. You're home grown. You're just in the wrong city. When are you coming to work for me in Houston? Don't your folks live out that way?"

  "Yes, Sir, they do." I turned my coffee cup right side up, and a waitress came right over and filled it up. "I'm sure our paths will cross sometime in the distant future. I miss home a lot."

  "Shit, I bet. I hate it here. Everyone rushes around like they got someplace to be, and you know what?"

  "What's that, Sir?" I lifted my cup to my lips and tried to contain my smile. The guy reminded me so damn much of Olivia's dad it wasn't even funny.

  "They don't have anywhere to be. People that rush around all the damn time are just scared of what they'll have to face if they pause for a minute." He huffed loudly.

  "And that would be?" I set my cup down and glanced at my watch. Luke was late. Idiot. Frank was going to give him hell and waste half the meeting on why it was imperative for my brother to learn respect. Though I agreed, it was rather uncomfortable.

  "That without busyness they aren't anything. They have no assets of true value." He shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "Though, unless something has changed in your life, you don't either."

  Here we go.

  "And why don't you remind me of what those assets are? You know I love learning something new from you." I relaxed enough to let the twang of my accent seep back into my words. I tried like hell to hide it most days of the week and had gotten rather good at it. For some odd reason, New Yorkers thought that anyone who spoke with a slow drawl were slow people, which wasn't true at all.