My Last First Kiss
Page 96
“Greedy girl. I’ll give you more, but first, let me tend to you.” His fingers stroked me, first brushing softly against me, and then dipping inside of my walls, stroking my most tender spots.
“Please,” I called out desperately, but I was so tired and weak from our previous round, that he chuckled.
“You’re barely able to stand.” He held me close against him as if to keep me on my feet.
I knelt on the stone beside us and hugged the smooth stone in front of me offering myself as a virgin on a sacrificial stone.
He stepped up and lifted me into his arms. “It gets a little rough in here. These stones are pretty, but they aren’t very friendly. I promise this won’t be the last time, but let’s get you into bed.” He turned off the water and rung out my hair before scooping me up into his arms.
By the time we reached the bed, I was fast asleep.
Chapter 11
James
I woke up before she did, and held her a while before she began to stir. I liked her more than I’d liked anyone in a long time, but with my lifestyle and the things in my past, I couldn’t help but think she was better off without me. I knew deep down that was the reason I’d stopped the kiss and the reason I was unsure about the night before. I wanted her, but wanting wasn’t enough. I needed to know what to do with her after I had her, aside from the sex part. I couldn’t be a good brother, how was I supposed to be a good boyfriend.
With my last girlfriend, Jen, it had been easier. She was self-supporting and from my circle of friends. She worked in the same field and liked her alone time as much as I did. Things were as sterile as they’d been in the laboratory, and that’s the way we liked it. But Maya was different, she was a people person, and had a warm, friendly smile for strangers that I’d grown so jealous of. I wanted her to myself, to keep her like a butterfly in a jar when she needed to fly.
As she rolled over to put her back to me, I slipped a pillow down between us and eased out of bed. I needed to put some distance between us, and hopefully, when she woke, she’d understand why things couldn’t be like a fairy tale with the two of us living happily ever after.
It wasn’t long until the sound of her bare feet padding across the floor caught my attention. I’d been in my office working on formulations and doing a bit of research. She stuck her head in the door and looked around my office before coming in.
“Is it okay to come in?” She gave me a hesitant look as I gave the affirmative and she tiptoed in and took a seat.
“I think I need to make some other arrangements and get out of your hair. I don’t know what I was thinking last night, but waking up alone kind of put things in perspective. I’m sorry about what happened.” She was sober now and regretful. Even though I’d thought it was a mistake, I had no regrets, and I only wished she felt the same.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I understand.” I couldn’t let her leave. She had nowhere to go. I wondered if I should offer to rent her a place of her own, at least until she got on her feet, but she had barely allowed me to hire her and until she found a job, she’d only have to commute back and forth, unless she was talking about leaving my employment as well. “Have you suddenly somewhere else to be?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that I didn’t want to make things awkward and when you weren't in bed this morning, I just—I don’t know what I thought, actually. Just that it might have been a mistake. I mean, I was drunk—
“Which is why I tried to stop you from throwing yourself at me.”
Her mouth popped open, and her eyes widened. “I beg your pardon? I did not throw myself at you. I might have merely suggested, but—
I stared blankly. “You suggested with your tongue down my throat as you undid my pants and stroked my cock. I’d say that’s a bit more than a why don’t we fool around kind of thing.” I shook my head as I grew increasingly irritated. “I knew I should have refused you again. But you made me feel so fucking bad since the last time.” I stopped and held my tongue as she headed for the door.
“I’ll figure something out. This obviously won’t work. Thank you for your help.”
Where the hell did she think she’d go? She couldn’t be out in the city alone, and there was no way I’d let her go back to that assholes apartment. The only other person she knew was Darek Dillon. I didn’t want her near that asshole again.
I got to my feet and headed around the desk as she made it to the hall. “Wait!” I hurried up and took her arm, and she spun around to face me.
“What?” She turned her head to look away from me.
“Let’s not either of us say or do anything else until we calm down.” I pulled her into my arms. “I didn’t wake up this morning wanting a fight, did you?”
“No, but I didn’t like waking up alone and coming in here to find you working like last night meant nothing.”
“Maya, I’m not Mr. Romance. I don’t always get that type of shit right, and I’ve never really been good with other people.”
“Please, from the way Darek talks you have women leaving your apartment all the time. You date, so what.” She gave a shrug.
“No, I don’t. I have women over for sex, and rarely anything else. I pick them up; we fuck, they go on with their lives.”
“Oh, so that’s what you think we should do? Go on like it’s no big deal? I can’t do that. I should stop while I’m ahead and before I develop any more feelings for you.”
Did she have feelings for me? I found that surprising almost even though the sex we’d had was wonderful, but only because I didn’t think she’d put much feeling into it being drunk.
“I didn’t know you felt anything like that.” I shrugged.
“I hoped you did, even just a little. I could work with a little. But nothing? What’s the use?”
“What if I do have feelings, Maya. I don’t know what to do with them. I’m not the kind of guy that can make you happy. You’re better off with someone else.”
She pursed her lips and folded her arms, and I could tell by her chest heaving, that she was growing pissed off. “Fine, then. I’m sure I’ll find someone else. I guess it doesn’t matter if I have feelings for you that are unrequited. I’m sure someone like Darek won’t mind.” She turned around, and as she started to walk away, I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t do that, Maya. It’s not nice.” She was only using Darek to piss me off.
“Why does it matter? It could be anyone; it still wouldn’t be you.”
“It won’t work.”
“No, you’re right. It won’t work. Especially if you don’t even try.” She was right, and the reality of her words hit me so hard, that I let her go.
I always did things like this. I sabotaged good things that there right in front of me because I was afraid I’d lose someone I loved again. Losing my sister had damaged me beyond repair, and the actions of the media and the circus it created only left me toxic.
I heard her bedroom door slam and, I rubbed my temples wondering what to do. I couldn’t let her go, but I couldn’t do anything to stop her if she really wanted to.
An hour later, when she still hadn’t come out of her room, I walked to her door and knocked.
“It’s open.” I heard from the other side.
I opened the door expecting to see her bags packed and her prepared to leave. Instead, I found her sat up in the middle of her bed with papers scattered around her.
It wasn’t just papers though, as I soon noticed, she was doing sketches and working in the center of her pile with colored pencils. “What’s all this?”
“Just some designs.” She shrugged like they were nothing, but I picked one up and studied it. “You drew this? All of these?”
“Yeah, it’s not the cure for cancer or anything, but it’s all I know how to do.”
“You’re talented. I mean, these are wonderful.” I looked down, perusing them all. “This is my favorite. Why didn’t you tell me you were into fashion design?”
“I did
n’t think you’d know anyone who could help me. Craig introduced me to a few people, but no one that could get my foot in the door.”
“I’m not Craig, and I’ve met a lot of people even though I don’t socialize with them on a daily basis.”
“I just needed a job; I didn’t want to be picky.” She stared at the bed to her display of designs, and all I wanted to do was pull her close and kiss her until she knew just how much I cared about her.
“You should be doing this, though, not folding my socks. I bet I could get you a job at Tabitha’s shop. You knew I knew her.”
“She knows Craig. I don’t want to be involved with any of those people. None of them have been especially kind.”
I found it interesting that Tabitha knew Craig, especially considering how I knew her. She was a frequent guest at Club Expose, but with her being a domme, she hadn’t been my type. We’d made friends though through business, and she’d been a lifesaver when I was with Jen for helping me choose the right gifts.
I thought about the women I knew and snapped my fingers. “I know just the person. Her name is Gretta. She’s in the industry, and she’d be perfect to help get your foot in the door. Let me ring her.” Gretta Martin had been a partner of mine from the sex club, but we hadn’t found time for one another in months. She ran a factory and had a line of clothes in five major department stores and at least three of the higher-class boutiques.
I dialed her number and knew I’d have to tip her off that this was purely business. I didn’t need her thinking I was looking for a hookup. Her machine answered, and I left a message. “Hi, Gretta; this is James Thomas from The Avalon. I need to discuss a bit of business concerning a girlfriend of mine.” I knew if I threw out that I had a girlfriend, perhaps she’d get the point. I hung up the phone to find Maya’s eyes narrowed.
“Girlfriend?”
“You’re a girl and a friend, and we had incredible sex last night.” She rolled her eyes. “Look, I don’t want you to go anywhere. I’m not sure what to do with this, and it’s happened kind of suddenly for me. I have feelings too, but I’m not sure what to do with them. So, could you maybe, cut me a break?”
A soft smile played at the corner of her lips, but she kept herself composed. “Fine. I didn’t really have anywhere else I wanted to go anyway.”
And just like that, things were okay for the moment.
Chapter 12
Maya
If he thought things would be okay just because he’d offered to help me get a job in the fashion world, he didn’t know me at all. I’d already believed in one man who filled my head with big ideas of what they could do for me and was let down. I wouldn’t let that happen again.
I wasn’t going to just forget everything that had happened, so while he went to his office to finish up his work, I spent the next few hours tidying up, doing our laundry, and looking through the job listings on his tablet. Even if the job opportunity was a bust, I’d have a few other options ready.
There wasn’t anything available in fashion, but for a few factory jobs, but there were a few more receptionist spots and a few others seeking new assistants. I wondered how bruised his ego would be if I applied to work for someone else and fold their socks. The only other option was working at a daycare or as a nanny, and since childcare had never been my thing, I decided to pass.
Just when I wanted to give up, the bell sounded. I thought it had to be someone from within the building because the doorman had always announced when anyone was on their way. Unless the man was on break. Did he even take breaks? I walked to the door and opened it, finding a tall, fierce redhead, in a slinky black leather dress. Her boots went up to her thighs, and she had her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.
My blood turned cold thinking she was one of James’ sex friends. “Hello.” I lifted a brow and hoped she’d announce her purpose.
“I’m Gretta Martin. You must be the girlfriend?” She walked past me so fast that I stepped out of her way to keep from being mowed down.
“Yes, I’m Maya.” I wasn’t about to deny or try to define our status.
She circled me, looking me up and down. “You’ll do nicely, I think.”
“You think so?” My heart raced, and I smiled until I thought something must be amiss. “Wait, what do you mean?”
She circled me again. “Don’t be nervous, darling, I don’t bite, and if you’re worried about sharing, rest assured, I’m only here to get off.” She slapped my ass as she made her way around me. “We can play a little until he’s ready and if he stepped out, then we can play a whole lot until he gets back.”
“I think you’re mistaken.” I rubbed my ass and took a few steps back.
“I know, you’re probably intimidated by my size, but I assure you, I’m very gentle. You’re so dainty.” She stepped closer.
“James!” I called to him across the house, and he came in a hurry still wearing the bathrobe he’d put on earlier that morning.
“Gretta?” His eyes widened as he looked her up and down. “I thought you’d call me back; I didn’t know you’d show up here.” He turned to me. “I’m sorry, Maya. This is Gretta, my friend who I think might have the wrong idea.”
Gretta put her hands on her hips and smiled like a snake. “You called me about business, darling, so what did you expect.”
“Oh shit. You’re a hooker?” I gasped, but Gretta’s eyes grew harsh.
“I beg your pardon? I’m not a hooker. I’m here to be a third for you.” She looked at James who had both hands on his head like he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
“No, Gretta. I called you hoping you’d help me find Maya a job. She’s interested in the fashion industry, and I couldn’t think of a better person to get her foot in the door. I’m so sorry that you misunderstood me.”
“Well, you did say business, and the last time I came for you was with that beautiful lover of yours, what was her name?”
“It’s not important; I’m so sorry you came all this way.”
I wanted to be sick. I’d known he had sex with other women, but now I was worried just how devious his flings had been.
“We can still fuck if you’re up for it.” I looked up and realized she was talking to me. She stepped closer. “You know I love blondes. She’s a tight little thing too.” The woman was a good head taller and had a slim waist with broad shoulders. “I’d be very gentle. I know how you like to watch.”
“No, thank you.” I hurried across the room to the bar and poured myself a drink while James tried to get over his shock and show her out.
“How did you get in the building?” he asked her.
“Please, darling. I was already in the building.” She flashed him a wink. “It was nice to meet you sexy Maya. I hope we meet again. I’d love a taste.” She licked her lips and then reached out to stroke James’ hair. I decided I’d seen enough and as I came across the room, she went out into the lobby.
“See you around, Gretta,” said James.
“Fine, I think I’ll make my way down to the sixtieth and see if I can’t get motivated.” She gave him one final wink as he closed the door.
“Are there any other surprises you’d like to warn me about? I mean, what’s next, huh? Are you going to invite a group of men up to take turns with me?”
“I’d never. I don’t mix my group pleasures with men.” He made a face. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I didn’t think she’d show up here. I wanted a chance to talk to her on the phone, but, as I expected, she frequents other men in the building.”
“So, since I’ve slept with you, and she’s slept with you and half The fucking Avalon, I’ve been with countless men?”
“If you want to lend to that theory. I’ve never had unprotected sex with anyone but you, so unless you’ve been making Craig suit up, I’ve technically slept with him, so I think I should be the one concerned.”
“How dare you!” It took all I had in me not to strike him, and I’d never been a violent
person.
He held his hands out defensively. “I’m only saying, stop acting like I’ve got sewer cock and relax. It’s not like I tried to get you to go along with that.”
“If you thought for one minute I’d go for it; you’d have been singing a totally different tune.”
“Of course, I would have, but I’m not a jerk, and I care about how you feel. I don’t want to do anything to mess this up any more than you do.”
“You’re a pig.” I looked away and closed my eyes, unsure about how to feel.
“Why? Because I’m honest?” He gave me a sly smile and drew me into his arms. “Now who’s jealous?”
Chapter 13
James
It had been a long day, and I wanted to show her how much I was willing to try and make things good between us. “Do you want to go down to the Lovehouse and have a nice, romantic dinner?” I couldn’t wait for the end of the night when I’d kiss her and make her melt for me. I wanted her again so badly that I got an erection just thinking about our mouths together.
“I don’t know, will any of your sex toys be there?” She was still bitter about Gretta, and I hadn’t heard the end of it since the woman left.
“If they are, I promise not to tell you about it.” That earned a laugh, and I moved closer to her on the couch where we’d been sitting on opposite sides, both lost in our electronic devices. She’d all but taken over my tablet since she still didn’t have her phone, but I was about to remedy that the next time we went out.
“How many threesomes have you had?” Her brows rose as if she anticipated my answer, but I was smarter than that.
“It was just that once, and it was a special birthday request from my ex. She’d never been with a woman, and wanted to try something new.”
“Well, I’ve never had that desire, but at least it was just once.” I nodded thinking back to the countless time I’d had more than one woman in my bed. I wasn’t sure I should lie, but she really didn’t want to know the truth, did she? In any case, she wasn’t getting it. Not yet. Not until she calmed down.