Wolf Soul: Vol. I of the Wolf’s Howl Trilogy

by Raquel Paiva

  What Beatriz called her parents’ bedroom was no more than a part of the kitchen that Ludovico had separated from the rest of the hut with wooden boards so as to give the elderly couple some comfort. Their parents slept on hay covered with olds rags in this improvised bedroom. The family couldn’t even afford a proper door lock. Ludovico had made a hole on the door and used a few iron hooks and wires to knot it against the door frame, also made of wood. They knew they weren’t really protected in case of a real attack but they had to try their best.

  Luvinus would walk to the edge of the forest every night to contemplate his old home. It had been hard to eventually join the pack that meant nothing to him but he also knew that he could no longer go back to the human world. No matter how hard it was to accept, he could never be part of it again. However, his feelings were now more human than ever. He observed the house that had been his and he could not avoid a suffocating feeling in his chest when he thought of poor Beatriz alone, trying to take care of their parents and at the same time trying to find ways to survive. On some nights, during a new moon, he even dared approach and take a peek through the window, which was no more than a hole he had cut into the wood and where Beatriz had hung a small curtain. Once he saw her stir a small cauldron, where she was preparing vegetables soup. Her gaze was lost, her eyes sad and empty, reflecting the most profound suffering of her soul. She had lost weight. She had dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks were sunken with grief and fatigue. Beatriz worked hard in the field to later go home and take care of her parents. She was unable to produce enough though, so she regularly sacrificed her portion of food to her sick parents who needed to eat better. Luvinus wanted to approach and tell her that this was not right. She shouldn’t stop eating when she worked so hard, otherwise she would be sick and weak too.

  Nights later, Luvinus was shocked again. He saw his sister go out, covered by a hood, just after midnight, towards the village. What was she going to do all alone at such late hours? Forgetting the shock he would cause if he was seen, Luvinus followed her, taking care only to keep enough of a distance so that she would not see him and be frightened. He watched her make her way towards a tavern where she waited outside. He saw two men leaving and Beatriz approaching them. Luvinus did not want to believe the idea that was forming in his mind. But the attitude of the men proved his worst fears. Touching Beatriz indecently, they went with her to a narrow and dark street where they gave way to their most lustful desires. Luvinus heard everything and could smell the breathless men, who stank of alcohol. It was too much for the newly created werewolf. He walked away quickly, bothered by those drunkards defiling his sister. A spark of anger ignited inside him. There was a culprit for the misfortune that had befallen his family, which made his sister sell her body to earn a livelihood. Omega or not, it was time to face his alpha. He quickly reached the forest again and howled to summon Shorath. Anger was building in his chest now and when he saw the alpha, who came alone to meet him, he jumped against him trying to bite his throat. Surprised by the boldness, Shorath fell to the floor. The two rocked between grunts and yelps of pain, but Shorath was certainly much stronger and more dominant than Luvinus. In a few minutes, he beat him and threw him to the ground, holding his throat with a paw.

  “What is this nonsense now? How dare you attack your alpha? It was very foolish, you know?” Shorath gnarled. “There’s nothing you can do against me and you owe me obedience.”

  Luvinus was panting on the floor. It was true, there was nothing he could do against his transformer. Shorath was much stronger and fiercer than he was.

  “Release me.” he asked faintly, as his leader's claws wouldn’t let his voice come out.

  Shorath acquiesced slowly, not taking his eyes off his most recent brother. He stepped back and crossed his muscular and hairy arms, staring at the omega in disapproval and contempt. Luvinus got to his feet. He was sobbing.

  “You are despicable, Shorath. It's all your fault. Because of what you did to me, misery has befallen my family.”

  The alpha just shrugged.

  “So many families living in misery, yours is just another one. Even before I transformed you, your family...”

  “Don't say anything, please.” Luvinus begged in a growl. “You have no right to talk about my family like that. Because of you my sister has become a prostitute. She needs money, otherwise everyone will starve.”

  Shorath scoffed, which further infuriated his subordinate. Luvinus barely refrained from attacking him again.

  “It is not my fault that your sister decided to become a harlot, my dear. There are many ways of earning a living, why did she choose that?”

  “What do you know, damn you! She is alone and is a woman. Nobody will help her. She is desperate.”

  “Be quiet and listen well, Luvinus. This was the last time I allowed such insolence form you.”

  “My name is Ludovico.” the omega shouted in a final attempt to arouse some sympathy in Shorath. Not for him, but for his family. But Shorath remained as unmoved as ever.

  “That is no longer your family, forget about them. They stopped being your family from the moment you became what you are now. You have to forget your human side, which only brings you suffering, and convince yourself once and for all that you are a werewolf now.”

  “I never wanted to be like you. Why, Shorath? Why did you do this to me?”

  Shorath remained silent. Luvinus dropped to the floor, crying. A whining cry without tears, as if he were a helpless pup. Shorath sighed, but sat down next to him.

  “Because you are strong and much braver than what you show. I don't turn anyone into a werewolf by accident. If they are weak and cowardly men, I simply eliminate them. I hate them, I don't need them. You are alive and you will never die, because it’s very hard to kill a werewolf. If I had killed you, your family would be in the same predicament. Just accept it. I have given you eternal life, you are a powerful creature, you can feel, see, smell and hear things that as a human you would never. You can feel someone approaching when they are still kilometres away, just to give you an example of your many abilities. Don’t you see that this makes you the perfect hunter? You should thank me rather than being in this detestable state as if you were a new born puppy.”

  Luvinus stopped sobbing and looked at him. The two were almost the same physically, but Shorath was slightly taller, with black fur and blood-red eyes. Luvinus had grey fur and bright yellow eyes. Except that while Luvinus’ eyes were still human, Shorath's looked evil and heavy. Although his alpha had never told him how long ago he had been transformed, he had definitely long forgotten his human side. He was also bulkier than his omega and in a close combat Luvinus could not kill him.

  “What are we, anyway, Shorath?” Luvinus asked in a whisper.

  But Shorath jumped up with an irritated growl and walked away, leaving him to his own doubts.

  IV

  Two days after the governor’s hunting party had not returned, Lúcia awoke once more to a house without her father. She finally surrendered to the evidence that her worst fears had become true.

  Several women had gathered in the churchyard. Those who had seen their husbands, brothers or sons leave to the forest in search of the beast. They whispered among themselves, refusing to accept reality, but at the same time unable to find any other justification for their absence. Lúcia, accompanied by Adélia, joined them later that morning. They all looked at her with compassion and fear. The very few men left in the village were old and unable to fight. What could the women possibly do?

  “That creature will return and now that the men are gone, the next victims will be us and our children.” said an old lady, perhaps the oldest in that assembly.

  Someone mentioned leaving but how? Nobody dared leave the village while that beastly creature was around. Lúcia heard all suggestions and all the babbling in a state of sadness and lethargy. She couldn't believe the terrible disgrace that had fallen upon all of them. She didn't know of any other family m
embers, she didn't have anyone else to ask for help. Anguish grew in her chest and tears began to flow down her cheeks. Adélia, seeing her in such distress, took her back home and tried to get her to eat something. Lúcia was not hungry though. She couldn't eat or even drink, she just wanted to close herself in her bedroom and let go of her pain. Adélia granted her that wish. She understood her young mistress and knew that unless she could find someone from the family who would agree to take care of her until she reached adulthood, young Lúcia would not be able to live alone.

  The young girl, however, wasn’t thinking about her future situation when she cried helplessly in her room, clinging to her pillow. She was thinking about the terrible injustice of it all and wondered what harm she or her family could possibly have done to deserve such misfortune. She seemed to understand now why her father lately felt that he was attending mass out of obligation rather than devotion. How could she show devotion to an entity that she had never seen and that, should it really exist in the Kingdom of Heaven, had not taken care of her family? She stayed in the room all day, lying in bed as if she was dying. Her eyes burned with tears, she felt empty and drained inside. She wished she could fall asleep. Being awake was too painful. She closed her eyes and focused on her own breathing only. Her chest hurt, overwhelmed by the pain of knowing that her father could only be dead. She heard a knock on the door in the distance when sleep finally and mercifully took over her exhausted soul. The sun was already slowly setting in the sky.

  “I have brought you some warm broth, missy. You have not eaten anything all day, you must be hungry.”

  Lúcia did not move. She looked out of the window at the dusk falling over the sky. Adélia set the tray down on the small bedside table next to her mistress’s bed and sat down, stroking her hair gently.

  “You can't be without any food or else you shall get sick.”

  Lúcia sat on the bed and accepted the broth. She ate it because she knew Adélia was right, not so much because she was hungry. A strange knot of anguish formed in her throat, hurting her every time he swallowed. She usually liked Adélia's cooking but that day that broth was the worst thing she had ever eaten.

  “We must think about you, miss. If I remember well, you have an uncle living near Coimbra, it might be a good idea to write him and tell him about your situation...

  “Sweet Adélia, please, I don't want to leave, at least not yet. I know you want the best for me, but understand that I cannot leave my life just like that. I need to know what happened to my father. Besides, how may we contact my uncle if hardly any men are left to take or bring messages?”

  The old lady dropped her head with a sigh, surrendered. Indeed, who could carry the message?

  “We have been forsaken and Heaven knows what else is on cards for us. We are not safe as long as we are in this place forgotten by God but leaving indeed seems equally dangerous. What can we possibly do?”

  Lúcia did not answer. Night had completely fallen. The wind howled through the leaves and the moon, now entering the first quarter, glittered in the sky. The young woman finished the broth and dismissed Adélia, after promising her that she would lock the window and the door. She approached the window and stared outside, to the deep forest. She did not suspect, at that moment, that she was being watched.

  Luvinus returned to the governor's home after the Full Moon massacre, as soon as the first blanket of the night spread in the sky to cover him. He had taken mercy on that girl, so young but already carrying so much pain in her heart. He felt guilty for what his brothers had done to the governor. They had taken her beloved father’s life and left her alone and desperate with an old maid who was absolutely no match against a werewolf.

  The omega overheard the conversation she had with Adélia. He knew that she was right to be so worried about Lúcia’s safety. His crazy and bloodthirsty brothers would not take long to terrorize the village again and that girl would undoubtedly be one of the Shorath’s next victims. Was there anything Luvinus could do to protect her? Maybe by doing so, he could also give his life a meaning? He saw her approach the window. Her face was pale, sad and innocent, still so possessed by the freshness of youth. In a way, Lúcia reminded him of poor Beatriz who had passed away so many years ago. The same Beatriz that Luvinus had failed to save, despite his many efforts. Beatriz, who had become a prostitute to earn money to support their parents. Everything was still as alive in Luvinus' memory as if it had happened only the day before. When one lives forever, one loses track of time. He still remembered going back home that night after challenging Shorath. The same night he had seen his sister walk out in search of men. When he arrived, she had not returned yet. There was only one thing in Luvinus’ mind. Human or not, it was still his duty to save his family from misery. Amidst that whirlwind of thoughts, it occurred to him that he could hunt animals in the forest and leave them for his sister. That same night, he was fortunate enough to find the door hooks loose so that even his long, sharp claws could unknot. He walked into the hut as silently as he could to avoid waking his parents. He had three dead rabbits in his mouth, which he carefully laid on the board in the kitchen where his sister usually prepared food. He felt deep sadness for being unable to give them personally, but Luvinus knew he could never do it. Shorath was right, his world was now in the forest with his werewolf pack. However, he could still hunt for his family. That was how he would help them survive. He suddenly felt Beatriz return and walked out again back to the forest. He heard his sister’s anguished weeping, much to his own despair. As soon as she got home, the woman tossed the money she had obtained in such a shameful way against the floor. She didn't even know how she was going to bring herself to use it to buy food for her parents. But they were all so hungry. She remained in the turmoil of shame and despair for so long, that she did not notice the dead rabbits on the board but when she got up and prepared to go to sleep. First she stared at them suspiciously. Then she was startled. A stranger had been in their home. She immediately checked the door and tied the hooks as hard as she could. Then she checked on her parents. They were fast asleep. She checked if anything was missing. It was an absurd idea as they had nothing worth stealing, but Beatriz wanted to make sure that everything was in place. It seemed that whoever had been in their home didn’t have bad intentions. Who could it have been? Inevitably, almost without realizing it, Beatriz thought of her brother.

  “Ludovico.” she whispered.

  Luvinus heard the whisper. That word filled his heart with joy, yet he could not help but feel a pang of guilt for giving his sister the hope that she might see him again, even if his intentions were good and sincere. He walked away into the depth of the forest.

  The following night was one of the happiest in Luvinus' werewolf life. He could feel his sister’s happiness as he had not felt since leaving his human life behind. Beatriz was so sure that it was her brother who was taking care of her that she wasn’t even tightening the door hooks anymore so that he could easily walk in. Maybe she would see him one evening. For some time Luvinus provided her with more hares, rabbits and even fawns. Beatriz no longer had to go look for men because those meat reserves were more than enough to feed her and her sick parents. However, after a few weeks she started to surrender to melancholy again, something Luvinus quickly noticed. One night he approached the window and saw his sister embroidering, lost in her thoughts, sadness lingering on her face. After a long while, she softly placed her embroidery on her lap, sighed and pleaded in a whisper:

  “Please, my brother, if this is your doing, show yourself. Why do you only come when I cannot find you? I miss you so much.”

  The sadness and gloom that had been dormant for a few weeks in Luvinus’ chest, suddenly returned.

  “Oh, my sister!” he asked her in his thoughts. “What would you think if you saw me like this?”

  Days later, something terrible but not unexpected happened. Luvinus' mother succumbed to disease. It was Beatriz herself who dug a grave in the yard and buried her. Working k
ept her sane. Tears wouldn’t even come. It was almost dark when she finished that arduous and deeply unpleasant task. She sat on the ground and stared at the stars in the sky. She had lost her hopes. Luvinus wasn’t far, mourning his mother's death in his wolfish way. He was perfectly able to hear the prayers Beatriz muttered to the deceased mother or perhaps she prayed for herself.

  “Ludovico, why did you disappear? If you're alive, why don't you show yourself to me? It is not enough to bring rabbits to the kitchen, I need to see you, to know that you are alive. Where are you? Please show up.” she begged.

  But Luvinus could not do it. Beatriz would never understand that it was him who was behind that cloak of grey fur. As human as his soul remained, his body was that of a huge, vicious-looking wolf. Beatriz would die of fright the moment she first saw him. However, her sister's pleas gave him an idea. Perhaps it was nonsense, but he could only know if he asked. He returned to the forest, looking for Shorath. It didn’t take him long to find the alpha, together with the other werewolves feasting on a deer carcass.

  “You are late for dinner.” Shorath observed.

  “I didn't come for dinner, I need to talk to you, Shorath. May I ask to interrupt your meal and listen to what I have to ask you?”

  The alpha grunted in a sarcastic and bored laugh.

  “Another existential crisis, I assume.”

  The other werewolves grimaced in what looked like a mocking laughter.

  “It’s just between the two of us, please, Shorath.” Luvinus said, ignoring his brothers' sarcasm. They were staring at him and Shorath, curious to know if the alpha would agree with the omega or if he would include them in the conversation.

  Shorath sighed and grunted again, but got up and asked the young wolf to follow him. With just a quick but stern stare at the rest of the pack, he made sure they would not follow.