Dead Zone (Blue-Eyed Bomb Book 3)

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  “The fuck I can’t,” I snarled, wiping the tears from my face with my hands.

  To that, she didn’t reply.

  After a couple of deep breaths, I reconstructed some of the wall around my heart that I’d only recently begun to tear down. Once the mortar had set, I walked over to the mirror and cleaned up my makeup. I arranged my hair to make it less obvious that I’d just been worked over in the bathroom, then steeled myself in preparation. TS didn’t get to see that he’d hurt me. All he’d see was the cold, callous girl he’d once known. The one that had kept me sane for two years.

  Maybe that’d been his goal all along.

  Maybe he missed the bitch.

  I pulled the door open and stepped out into the grand hallway to find TS standing there waiting for me. His anger had subsided, leaving little more than a veil of indifference cloaking his expression and energy. He looked at me as I passed him, observing every move I made. Knowing that, I made sure to give nothing away; no sign that he had hurt me, or affected me at all, for that matter.

  “Did you get what we came for?” I asked over my shoulder as I made my way toward the ballroom.

  “Yes.”

  “Then text the boys and let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  I could hear his footsteps fall in behind me as I walked down the hall.

  “As you wish.”

  To avert suspicion, we returned to the party long enough for Alejandro to realize what had happened while TS and I were gone. He did little to hide his anger at first, then a veil of indifference took over. Maybe no woman was worth that much trouble—or maybe it was just me. I made a show of trying to go over and talk to him, but TS caught my arm and led me away. I wanted to wrench out of his grip, but I knew why he was doing it, so I let it go until we were in the hallway. The second we entered the elevator, I pushed him away from me.

  The ride home was silent torture. TS had told the others we’d meet them at the warehouse, so we drove together alone, just as we had on our way to the party. Only this time, there was hostility in the air.

  TS was no fool. He knew that I was likely plotting his death. I emanated rage.

  Staring out the passenger’s window while he drove, I played the night over and over in my mind, trying to piece together where things had gone so terribly wrong. At every turn, I found no answers. And so I raged on internally.

  I heard him attempt to speak on several occasions during the drive. But every single time, all he got out was an exhale. Then the silence continued.

  When we pulled into the first floor garage of our building, I practically jumped out of the car before he’d even come to a stop. That seemed to cure his inability to speak. He called after me as I stormed toward the door that led to the staircase, but that only made me speed up. I just wanted to be away from him.

  Like right now.

  I was almost to the sliding warehouse door, my stiletto heels clacking loudly as I took the stairs two at a time, when I heard him bust through the stairway door from the garage. He had almost caught up with me as I threw open the metal door and walked into the main apartment. Spread throughout the living room were Nico and Cooper, who had beaten us home, Alek—no longer furry—the Fates, and Muses. Everyone I wanted to avoid in my unstable state.

  “So you got it?” Nico asked, getting right down to business. For once, I appreciated that quality in him.

  I didn’t break my stride as I reached into my purse, pulled out the stone, and tossed it onto the table in front of him. He picked it up, then turned his assessing eyes to me.

  “What exactly happened tonight?”

  I could hear TS shut the door behind him when he walked in, and a glorious idea popped into my head. Why should I be the one to suffer because of his actions? Why should I be the one in pain? Maybe he should share in that a bit.

  Or a lot.

  “Not much. We mingled, TS got the stone, and we left.”

  “Then why do you look so pissed off?”

  “That? Oh, well that would be due to me seducing the host of the party to buy time, which led to a rather uncomfortable moment when he tried to claim me. TS busted in to save the day—as he always does—and managed to take care of things.” I paused when I reached the door to the upstairs bedrooms. I turned back to face Nico, making sure that he was watching me. When I knew I had his attention, I let the truth set me free. “In front of Alejandro, he alluded to the fact that I was his, then took me into the bathroom and fucked me against the wall before dropping me like a diseased whore and storming out.” Nico’s eyes went black as night. “I’m going to bed. Feel free to pose any further questions to the man of the hour.”

  With a quick turn, I pushed the door open and sashayed through it. I knew exactly how Nico was going to react to what I’d just told the group. The roar of anger that echoed through the entire building as I ascended the stairs was all the confirmation I needed.

  His temper was just like our father’s.

  When I heard furniture breaking, I decided to forgo the trip to my room and instead went immediately to the roof. I wanted the peace that only the sounds of the city seemed to bring me. I wanted to drown out the sorrow I was working hard to keep at bay.

  I sat on the roof’s ledge in my formal dress and let my bare legs dangle in the notorious Chicago wind. Every gust blasted my eyes with cold, forcing them to tear up.

  Apparently the calm between those blasts made them tear up too.

  “Fucking wind,” I said, wiping my eyes with the back of my forearm.

  Yes. The wind...

  “It’s been a long fucking night, Nyx. I’m not in the mood for your words of wisdom.”

  That seems to be the status quo, does it not? I speak the truth, and you balk at it.

  “Like what?”

  He did what he had to, Sapphira. You don’t have to like it, but you need to acknowledge it. Had he not, you’d be the property of Alejandro. And I can assure you, that would not be an enviable position. Think of Charlotte…

  So I did. Then I cringed and abandoned the thought.

  “You could have just nuked him,” I argued, knowing full well that wouldn’t have been possible.

  Spoken like a completely rational being. Yes, I’ll just destroy everyone who offends you, or bothers you, or tries to claim you as his own. Should I go blast TS into oblivion, then? Would that put a smile on that sour face of yours?

  “This is a bad time to ask me that question. And besides, it would ruin Nico’s fun.”

  I imagine Nico is only having fun right now if TS is allowing him to.

  I started to refute her sentiment, but I couldn’t. Though I was loath to admit it, Nyx had a point. A really good one.

  With a heavy sigh, I ran my hands over my face, trying to erase any evidence of how the night’s events had hurt me. If I couldn’t see it, no one else could either, and then maybe I could pretend it had never happened. And if I could do that, then I wouldn’t have to hate TS for the rest of my life.

  The ifs seemed to be mounting.

  “Fine. No, I don’t want you to kill TS. Does that make you happy?”

  Does it make you happy?

  “Do not start that shit with me. That’s his favorite thing to do, and I’m in no mood.”

  “Phira?” a voice called from behind me. I jumped at the sound, grabbing the ledge so I wouldn’t fall. That would have been the finishing touch on the shit night I’d had. With my luck, I would have survived.

  Alek walked toward me with careful, measured steps. His pace was slow, his energy peaceful. He felt like his old self, which calmed me a bit.

  “Was the show downstairs not enough for you? Thought you’d come and see if I’d be more entertaining?”

  His expression tightened at my words. It was easy for me to forget how sensitive he could be. Under all that brain and muscle was an empath just like me; an empath who had just walked into a shitstorm of emotions. “I’m sorry. I’m just really lousy company right now.”

  He sai
d nothing but continued toward me, taking a seat to my right. He stared out at the night sky, just as I’d been doing before he arrived. By the way his face relaxed, I wondered if he didn’t find the chaos as serene as I did.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked him as I looked up at the full moon that had called his wolf forth only hours earlier.

  “Different. The same. I can’t really describe it.”

  I choked on a laugh. “That must be driving you nuts.”

  He nodded once. “He never fought back, you know,” Alek said, still looking out over the lights of the city.

  “What? Who are you—”

  “TS. He never fought back. He stood as still as a statue when Nico came running at him, arm cocked to smash his face in. TS didn’t even flinch.”

  “So? What’s your point?” I asked, folding my arms over my stomach.

  “My point is that those are the actions of a repentant man. Someone who knows he’s affronted someone else. He took Nico’s beating without a word because he felt he deserved it, Phira. And though it is clear that you are hurt and angry, I thought you might want to know what I felt from him.”

  “I was in the car with him the entire way home, Alek. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. So I don’t really need you to tell me what I already know. Maybe he did what he did downstairs for show, to appease you guys, because I’m pretty fucking sure that he doesn’t think he’s done a damn thing wrong.”

  I expected an immediate argument from my analytical brother, so when I didn’t get one, I turned to see why. I was met with a look of confusion that I’d never seen on Alek’s face. One that looked all kinds of wrong on him.

  “What? What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “You felt nothing?” he asked. “Nothing at all?”

  “No. But that happens a lot with TS. I have a harder time reading his emotions than anyone else I’ve ever come across.” Alek continued to stare at me, utterly perplexed. “Don’t you?”

  “No,” he said plainly. “Never.”

  “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I’m too fucking tired to care. All I want to do is go to sleep and forget this night ever happened.”

  I threw my legs back over the ledge and set my feet down on the roof. I stood up and started to walk away when Alek’s words stopped me cold.

  “TS would never have hurt you intentionally. Whatever happened, whatever led to what occurred in that bathroom, he must have thought the situation dire to have done something like that to you.”

  “He fucked me then threw me aside like garbage, Alek. I understand that, on some level, he did it to protect me. I get that. I really do. But I would have been treated better if I were a prostitute. I didn’t deserve that.”

  “No,” he agreed, “you didn’t.”

  “I’m tired. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

  I walked away, reaching for the doorknob.

  “We love you, Sapphira. We all do.”

  “All of you?” I couldn’t help but scoff. “Then some of you sure have a damn funny way of showing it.”

  With my cynical reply hanging heavy in the air, I closed Alek and the Chicago night out and made my way back down to my room. Muffled voices echoed up through the stairwell from the main floor. Exhausted, both physically and mentally, I knew I should do what I’d said I was going to and just go to bed. But when I heard my name in TS’ voice, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

  My anger still needed an outlet.

  I took my shoes off and tiptoed down the stairs, putting my ear to the door. I heard TS speak again. A rush of blood filled my cheeks, but not in the way it had earlier that night. That lust had turned to embarrassment and rage.

  I practically blew the door off its hinges when I threw it open, smashing it into the wall with incredible force.

  “What are we talking about, kids?” I asked, my tone sharp and acerbic. I looked around the room to find the furniture absolutely destroyed; the only survivors were the vintage metal dining set and the kitchen island. Then my eyes fell on TS, and I realized that he didn’t look much better than the carnage of wood and upholstery littering the room. “You look like shit,” I told him, staring him down as his beaten face bled—a lot. Nico had gone to town on him, making me realize that Alek hadn’t been exaggerating. There was no way TS would look like that if he’d lifted a finger to fight back.

  For the briefest of moments, that realization gave me pause.

  Then he spoke, and it no longer seemed to matter.

  “Phira, I—”

  “No! You don’t get to ‘Phira’ me. Got it? I don’t want to hear a fucking word from you. You made yourself pretty clear earlier when you finished with me in that bathroom. What was it you said? Oh yeah, I remember. ‘We’re finished here’.” Instead of attempting to defend himself, knowing that I had no intention of hearing it, he just stood in the center of the chaos and took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. “You couldn’t even look at me. Were you that disgusted by my stupidity, or was it just the thought of having to fuck me in general that turned your stomach? Jesus, it’s amazing you managed to do it at all!”

  I heard Cooper growl from somewhere in the room.

  “How could you do that to her?” he asked, confusion, anger, and disappointment thick in his tone.

  TS said nothing in response.

  “Under normal circumstances, I would enjoy this drama much more,” Muses said, looking on from the kitchen, “but I’m finding this physically painful to watch. Truly.”

  “Shut your fucking mouth, Muses,” I snarled, wading through the debris to get closer to TS.

  Muses sighed in the most put-upon way. “Sapphira, it seems apparent that you are once again in the dark about something rather important. If you would just—”

  I snatched a blade off Cy as I passed him and launched it at Muses. I didn’t expect it to hit him; I knew he was no novice in battle. I only wanted to startle him enough to shut him up.

  Imagine my surprise when it grazed his cheek as he moved to dodge it.

  “Shut. Your. Mouth. Muses. I want to hear you explain to me what I don’t know about as much as I want to hear whatever the fuck he has to say.” I pointed my finger at a silent TS just to be clear. Muses looked at me like his hatred alone could set my soul ablaze. Thankfully for me, I didn’t have one, so his menacing glare had little effect. “And you,” I snarled, turning back to TS, “I don’t want you anywhere near me, do you understand?” TS said nothing. “Nod if you understand.” He nodded. “Great. Now get the fuck out of here.”

  I turned to walk away from him, my uncles and brothers all watching with a healthy dose of concern for what I’d do next. Smart, I thought. Then Zale opened his mouth and ruined it all.

  “You have no authority over him,” he said softly, as he so often spoke. Like he knew his words would enrage me, but he couldn’t stop them from coming out anyway. When my anger-fueled stare landed on him, he had the good sense to look worried. If I hadn’t adored him like I did, he would have been in trouble.

  “Maybe, maybe not. But my father does. And I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t be thrilled with what happened at that party tonight. So if TS is the smart guy I once thought he was, he’ll stay away from me. Far away.”

  “How far?” TS asked, breaking his silence despite my warnings. I looked over my shoulder at his battered face, my blood pounding so loudly in my ears I could barely think. When I didn’t reply, he asked again. “How far, Sapphira? How far away is far enough?”

  “Hell,” I said, my voice cold and calm and barely my own. “Hell might work.”

  He bowed his head slightly. “As you wish.”

  Just as he began to turn toward the exit, the voice of reason in the warehouse—Ferris—spoke up.

  “If he leaves, your father will find out and want to know why.”

  “Great. Then TS can tell him,” I snapped.

  “I think you know your father well enough to know what happens
to those he takes issue with. I understand that you’re angry at the moment—”

  “Angry?”

  “—But is that truly the outcome you wish for TS? Or would you grow to regret it one day?”

  Regret. I knew a thing or two about that. I’d annihilated an entire town once before because of my temper. My uncontrollable rage. It seemed that Nico wasn’t the only one who’d inherited Daddy’s anger issues, and those issues had wiped Little Church from the face of the Earth. Because I was mad—mad at a boy. I’d never forgiven myself for what I’d done that night. I probably never would.

  The question was: could I forgive myself for what I knew would happen to TS if my father found out what he’d done?

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I tried to imagine a world where he no longer existed. A place where I would never again see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes when he did something to piss Nico off, or hear his laughter on those rare occasions when he allowed himself to laugh. I’d always relished the sound, just as he’d reveled in my singing. I may not have been willing to forgive him, but was I ready for him to die? No. I wasn’t.

  The sting of having to admit that, however, was almost impossible to bear.

  I turned my anger back on Ferris, who stood there as if he already knew what I was about to say. But unlike Muses, he didn’t look smug about it.

  “You’ve made your point. He can stay, but I don’t want to see him.”

  Before anyone could say another word, I stalked back to the staircase and went up to my room. I changed my clothes and grabbed a jacket, then made my way back down the stairs. I needed to get out of the warehouse, especially if TS wasn’t. Nobody spoke to me at first as I stormed back through the living room, splintered wood crunching under my every step.

  I grabbed a set of keys off the counter along the way.

  “I’m going out. Don’t wait up.”

  “Where are you going?” Nico asked. I stopped short, looking at the keys in my hand. If I knew my father, every one of the PC’s vehicles had tracking devices—both technological and magical—on them. I looked back at my brother and chucked him the keys.