Tenderly Wicked
Page 13
Vadim’s lips fell open as his pace gradually picked up. Max found himself mimicking his movements, thumbing the head each time he ran his hand up the length of his shaft. He was close but he wanted to see Vadim fall first. “I want you to come. I need to see you come.”
Vadim started rubbing himself furiously, almost roughly, desperate for release. He cried out as he came, spurts of semen covering his fist and abdomen. The sight sent Max over the edge too, and he came with a muffled moan, aware that while the door was closed, the walls weren’t exactly soundproof. His eyelids closed of their own accord as he leaned back in the chair, panting.
He opened his eyes to find Vadim cleaning himself with a wipe. Max’s hand was slippery too, but reaching for a roll of paper towels seemed a tremendous effort. He was still floating on the afterglow of his orgasm. Cybersex was not a long term substitute for real encounters, but it was undeniably fun. Besides, even this far apart, Max felt how much attuned to each other they both were.
“Do you miss me?” Vadim asked, not for the first time during their web talks, as if he still needed a confirmation for the obvious.
“Absence surely makes the cock grow harder,” Max laughed, but then added seriously, “Of course I do miss you. I’m glad that we’re kind of celebrating together, despite the distance, though I thought you’d maybe rather spend New Year’s Eve with your friends, go to a party.”
“I am spending it with my friend,” Vadim corrected him, and Max felt warm tenderness spreading in his chest.
Wasn’t it what he’d always wanted, being a Dom and a sadist, but not a bad guy—someone who’d treat a partner as a friend and care for his wellbeing? Teaming up with the right person, joyfully obedient, had made this controversial desire much easier to fulfill.
“Would you like to call me in eleven hours to celebrate once more?” Vadim suggested, snapping Max out of his Domly reverie. “It’s unfair that you’ve spent my New Year’s Eve with me, but you’ll be without me when the New Year begins for you. You’ll be with your family of course, but if you sneak away from the party for a while, I could … um … think of something festive.”
The only proper answer to that was, “Hell, yes!”
Chapter Eight
Presents and Punishments
The trip back to Moscow was pretty exhausting. The flight from Los Angeles got delayed, and Max texted Vadim that he’d probably arrive a few hours later than he’d expected. In the end, the delay turned out to be not that dramatic, but Max decided not to warn Vadim he’d be back more or less on time. Why not surprise him?
Max arrived home tired and sleepy, but filled with warm anticipation. He’d really missed Vadim. Their video chats, entertaining as they might be, had been hardly a substitute for man-to-man, boot-to-face action, so to speak. But there was something else in addition to a craving for kinky sex, though Max was planning to have it in copious amounts to compensate for the days they’d spent apart. The sheer thought of seeing Vadim’s face light up with a smile made Max’s chest tighten.
It was still daytime when he got home, but you could hardly tell. An early dusk had long since settled over the city. He opened the door as quietly as he could, dropped his duffel bag to the floor, toed his shoes off, and tiptoed into the apartment. Vadim was there. Max saw the blue-ish shimmer of the computer screen in the darkened room. Hmm. It seemed Vadim was wasting his time surfing the Web on his day off, in the darkness as if to damage his vision on purpose. That was surely a cause for a reprimand.
“I’m home!” Max announced from the doorway. He wanted to surprise Vadim, not scare him, but there it was, a frightened expression on Vadim’s face as he turned to him from the monitor, ghostly pale in its glow. The picture on the screen was that of a 3D model of a building. Something work-related then, not fun.
“I thought I’d finish before you came home,” Vadim said guiltily. “I just needed an hour more.”
“How long have you been working today?” Max asked with suspicion. Their last Skype sessions came to his mind. He’d thought Vadim looked more wound up than usual, and perhaps tired, but he hadn’t paid attention.
Vadim shrugged dismissively. “Just a couple of hours.” But he was an inept liar.
Max crossed the room and stopped in front of him. Vadim didn’t make an attempt to stand up, frozen in place. Max lifted his chin with an index finger. “I don’t think so.” Vadim’s eyes were red-rimmed and hollow, and he looked like he hadn’t slept well. “I repeat—how long?”
“I just wanted to finish this before you returned,” Vadim told him. “I thought you’d want me … at your disposal.”
“Let’s phrase it another way. Did you sleep at all last night?”
Vadim didn’t look away, wretchedly upset, but didn’t answer either.
“Why work on your days off at all?” Max wondered, exasperated. “Couldn’t you do it later, in your office?”
“It’s extra work. Not for the firm. I’ve told you that I’d have some by the end of December. It took a bit more time than I’d expected. Sorry. How was your flight?”
Max, though, wasn’t inclined to let the matter drop. “By the end of December? So you were working all the time while I was away, and with a schedule like this, day and night?”
“Not all the time,” Vadim disagreed in a defensive manner. “Just the last few…”
“…days and nights?” Max finished for him. He should have made his voice sound stern, like a disapproving Dom would do, but instead, it was more like disbelieving. “Why strain yourself like that?”
Again, Vadim didn’t answer the question. Instead, he asked meekly, “Are you going to punish me?”
Max sighed. “Quite possibly. Can you finish your work tomorrow, and not right now, since I’m already here?” Vadim nodded, and Max patted at his shoulder. “All right then. Turn your PC off. You’re done for today. I’ll take a shower, and then we’re both going to bed.”
It was rather early for bedtime, but Max was drowsy after the long journey, and Vadim looked very much like he needed a nap, too.
Max managed to relax under a spray of hot water and was looking forward to sleepy cuddling as he rubbed himself dry, yawning and almost dozing on his feet, but there were still surprises left for him today. When he came to the bedroom, with a towel around his hips, he saw quite a scene. Vadim knelt by the bed, naked, his head bound and his hands beside his back. He held a riding crop between his teeth.
“What the…” Max felt his voice crack.
In other circumstances, it would have been hot. But now, given Vadim was clearly worn out, it felt terribly wrong. Max couldn’t accept this from a tired if willing sub.
He took the riding crop out of Vadim’s mouth and laid it aside on the floor. “We’re not doing this when you’re unwell.”
“I’m fine,” Vadim protested half-heartedly, but let Max haul him up and onto the bed. Max disposed of the towel, to lie down naked beside him, chest to back. “I wanted to give you a proper greeting,” Vadim declared sullenly. “But I spoiled it all, didn’t I? You’re angry with me.”
The last bit didn’t seem like a question.
Max kissed his neck, the short hair on Vadim’s nape ticklish against his lips. “No, of course not.
“Okay, if you say so,” Vadim murmured, but in a hesitant, unconvinced tone.
Max was more annoyed with himself. He should have seen that something was off. But maybe he really felt some irritation towards Vadim, too, for making him handle an awkward situation right now, when he was so exhausted. And there was guilt in addition to that, because yeah, it was his duty to deal with whatever problems his sub brought him, no matter the circumstances.
“That doesn’t mean I won’t punish you tomorrow,” Max said almost automatically, fatigue making him unable to incorporate much austerity into his voice. “Simply to make the lesson sink in. I’ve told you—you’re not allowed to abuse your body. It’s not yours anymore to mistreat however you want. It’s mine now.”
He felt useless for being unable to make Vadim break the pattern of what was close to self-harm. Having conquered Vadim’s smoking habit, he’d been hoping they’d built rapport, despite his lack of practical knowledge of how full-time BDSM relationships work. But maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe living in a 24/7 relationship had made Vadim too focused on it, too dependent on Max’s praise.
Max didn’t want to push him away, even slightly, but what if that was necessary?
****
He slept well. He was too tired not to, but the next day, unpleasant thoughts started nagging at him in earnest as soon as he woke up. Vadim shifted against him, snuggling in closer, still half-asleep, but instead of enjoying the idle morning hours, with no need to rush anywhere right now and the pliant body pressed to his in the most interesting places, Max lay there mired in self-doubt, almost self-loathing.
The thought of Vadim pushing himself too far for his sake, suggesting a scene when he didn’t really want it, was worrisome, to say the least. It was not that he’d ever intentionally encouraged Vadim to do anything too risky during their sessions, and certainly not outside them, but it wasn’t the first time his lover seemed to forget his resilience had its limits, especially when it came to pleasing his Dom. Max remembered the night when he’d tried asphyxiation play and Vadim had not only ended up with a terrible headache but tried to conceal it. There were other incidents that could have led to nasty consequences too. What was he to do?
I’ll pay more attention, he promised himself. I’m not completely selfish, am I?
Not selfish but ignorant, perhaps? Is it somehow better? A small unpleasant voice broke through the soothing reasoning.
Vadim obviously needed a Dom who’d watch him closely during kinky sex scenes as well as in everyday life, for he tended to overstrain himself and think he could cope perfectly well while he actually balanced on the brink of exhaustion. Max had hoped he’d be that Dom for him, but now he wasn’t so sure. He had a suspicion despite his best intentions that he provoked Vadim to wear himself out all the more and failed to notice when he did.
This additional work—hadn’t Vadim been forced to take it to pay for all the things he’d bought to please Max after they’d started living together? Max had assumed Vadim was wealthy, with an apartment like this, and he’d only made half-hearted attempts at sharing the costs, but now he remembered all the bits of information that should have proved otherwise. Vadim’s words about paying the mortgage and him working to the point of almost collapsing not just once. Vadim’s ex-lover had accused him of buying Doms with expensive presents, but for Vadim, it had only been another way to please, and he seemed to overwork himself to afford these gifts, struggling not to let it show what effort it took him. Max berated himself for not seeing it sooner.
Perhaps a more experienced and caring Dom wouldn’t be that neglectful?
Vadim squirmed against him again and sighed happily, having turned so that his cheek now rested against Max’s collarbone. Max brought a hand down his flank, making him arch his back a little, like a sleepy cat.
“You’re awake?” Max whispered, his palm on Vadim’s hip.
“Not yet.” Vadim nuzzled into his neck and sighed again. “It’s just like you were never gone.”
Max continued sliding his hand up and down Vadim’s thigh. “Did you go out often while I was away?”
“Not really.” Vadim nibbled at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, which was very distracting, but Max wouldn’t let himself get diverted. “Care to elaborate?”
“Why would I go out? Our office is closed for the holidays.”
The good and the bad thing about living in a big city was you could spend days and even weeks in your apartment without leaving it, ordering food and everything you needed on the Internet, and Vadim was surely used to living like that.
“Why don’t you meet up with your friends more often?” Max continued prying.
“Because I don’t have any,” Vadim suggested in an even tone. Too even. He propped himself up on an elbow beside Max, having abandoned his distraction tactics.
“Why?” Max blurted out without thinking. “It’s not like you’re unsociable.” It wasn’t a polite question to ask, but the thought of Vadim’s lack of mates puzzled him. The man wasn’t aloof in everyday life and clearly longed for contact, not only of a sexual kind.
Vadim smiled tightly. “Being sociable isn’t always equal to having friends, you know. I’m on good terms with my co-workers, but that’s not exactly friendship. A friend is, well, it’s someone who knows you and accepts you the way you are, more or less. And if you’re not sure whether it’s okay to tell a person that you’re gay, for instance, and submissive, and a masochist to crown it all, I don’t think it counts as a close relationship.”
“It can’t be that no one knows your preferences,” Max implied incredulously. “I’m not talking of your colleagues, but you don’t seem to be a novice on the scene, you might have made a few acquaintances.”
Vadim shrugged. “My exes do. But as I’ve said, I’m not on good terms with my exes. As for others, the ones from the scene that I’ve met are more interested in getting laid than in maintaining friendship with someone they have no intentions to sleep with.”
Max considered the point. “It’s kind of sad.”
Vadim chuckled. “Tell me about it.”
“Have you ever come out to someone who’s not from the scene?”
“Yeah, a few times, and you see the results. It’s not that everyone got aggressive. One of my school mates supported me a lot after … after I broke off with my parents. But he started looking at me differently somehow. I couldn’t help but notice that. He didn’t lecture me, he didn’t reproach me, but I felt like he’d thought more of me, and then he was disappointed in a way. Well, maybe not disappointed, but he wasn’t sure what to think and how to act around me. I took help from him. I wouldn’t have coped otherwise, because I had no work then, and nowhere to live, and no one else to turn to, and I had to finish university. But as soon as I was able to survive on my own, that was the way I chose to live.” Vadim paused. “Well, he’s in St. Petersburg anyway. We don’t interact much.”
Max almost regretted that he’d started this conversation. “Sorry, I didn’t want to upset you. I just want you to have a life.”
“I do have a life.”
“A life that doesn’t include me, all the time.”
Vadim frowned and looked him in the eyes, intently. “Does that mean that you’ve gotten tired of me?”
“Of course not.”
“Have you met someone else back there, at home? Your ex, Andie?”
Max laughed despite himself, taken aback by this sudden accusation. “You suspect me of cheating?”
“Of course you wouldn’t cheat,” Vadim retorted bitterly. “You’d break up with me first. Are you looking for a pretext to do it?” He suddenly became as wound-up as he’d been in the club when confronting his ex, but it was only for a few seconds and then he deflated, before Max could say a word in his defense, and flopped onto his back, as if exhausted by his sudden outburst. “It’s not that you need a pretext of course,” he said in a dull voice.
A sudden disturbing thought swept in the back of Max’s mind. Wouldn’t it be better to end their relationship before any damage was done? But he pushed this stupid idea away.
“Next time, you’re going with me. No excuses,” he warned Vadim, and that made his sub sit up and turn back to him again.
“Would you really want me to go with you? I mean, would you want me to, or are you just being polite?”
“The first option. Also, I’m not sure I can leave you on your own without you getting into trouble like exhausting yourself with work. I hope to train you to the point where you can be trusted to stay unaccompanied, if needed, but for now, you’re utter crap
at being alone.”
Vadim gave a feeble smile. “I hardly have an incentive to become trustworthy to stay alone. I’d rather you be around.”
Max grinned, relieved that Vadim seemed to have calmed down, and pulled him back into his arms. “That would be my wish too, actually. Though I’m not sure you’ll be of the same opinion when I proceed with your punishment. I owe you one, remember?”
“Oh that,” Vadim said in a sunken voice.
“Exactly. I don’t think a simple thrashing would make the point. I can tan your little ass with a riding crop any time, only because it pleases me.” Max punctuated his words by pinching Vadim’s buttock, deliciously peachy. He could feel Vadim’s cock against his thigh. “I’m thinking of something more prolonged. I want you to regard and regret your misdeed for a long, long time. Although a thrashing would be a good beginning, come to think of it.”
“Will you allow me to finish my work?” Vadim asked hesitantly.
“I will,” Max promised. “But I’ll be monitoring the process. After each hour, you’ll have a break, for at least ten minutes. You’ll get up and do your exercises, or maybe some chores. I’ll think of something. And for the future, if you’ll need extra money, tell me before taking on more work than you can cope with. You’re not to overstrain yourself. Understood?”
His sub nodded hastily.
“Fine. We’ll discuss our finances in depth later. But before you rush to your computer, we’ll start with your punishment detail. As I said, a thrashing would be a good start. On all fours, your bottom out. Now.”
Max scrambled from the bed and, not caring to put his clothes on, went to pull aside the curtains so that the pale winter sunshine would fill the room. Vadim, bending over on the bed, doggy-style, was worth the installation of proper lighting.
Max picked up the riding crop from where he’d left it last night. Time to put it to work, finally. He stroked its tip along the sensitive inner sides of Vadim’s thighs, then lightly tapped at his balls, on display between his widely spread legs.