Dawn O'Hara the Girl Who Laughed

by Edna Ferber

  Five minutes later, with my hat in my hand, I turned to find Peter at my elbow.

  “Want to talk to you,” he said, frowning.

  “Sorry, Peter, but I can’t stop. Won’t it do later?”

  “No. Got an assignment? I’ll go with you.”

  “N-not exactly, Peter. The truth is, Blackie has taken pity on me and has promised to take me out for a spin, just to cool off. It has been so insufferably hot.”

  Peter turned away. “Count me in on that,” he said, over his shoulder.

  “But I can’t, Peter,” I cried. “It isn’t my party. And anyway—”

  Peter turned around, and there was an ugly glow in his eyes and an ugly look on his face, and a little red ridge that I had not noticed before seemed to burn itself across his forehead. “And anyway, you don’t want me, eh? Well, I’m going. I’m not going to have my wife chasing all over the country with strange men. Remember, you’re not the giddy grass widdy you used to be. You can take me, or stay at home, understand?”

  His voice was high-pitched and quavering. Something in his manner struck a vague terror to my heart. “Why, Peter, if you care that much I shall be glad to have you go. So will Blackie, I am sure. Come, we’ll go down now. He’ll be waiting for us.”

  Blackie’s keen, clever mind grasped the situation as soon as he saw us together. His dark face was illumined by one of his rare smiles. “Coming with us, Orme? Do you good. Pile into the tonneau, you two, and hang on to your hair. I’m going to smash the law.”

  Peter sauntered up to the steering-wheel. “Let me drive,” he said. “I’m not bad at it.”

  “Nix with the artless amateur,” returned Blackie. “This ain’t no demonstration car. I drive my own little wagon when I go riding, and I intend to until I take my last ride, feet first.”

  Peter muttered something surly and climbed into the front seat next to Blackie, leaving me to occupy the tonneau in solitary state.

  Peter began to ask questions—dozens of them, which Blackie answered, patiently and fully. I could not hear all that they said, but I saw that Peter was urging Blackie to greater speed, and that Blackie was explaining that he must first leave the crowded streets behind. Suddenly Peter made a gesture in the direction of the wheel, and said something in a high, sharp voice. Blackie’s answer was quick and decidedly in the negative. The next instant Peter Orme rose in his place and leaning forward and upward, grasped the wheel that was in Blackie’s hands. The car swerved sickeningly. I noticed, dully, that Blackie did not go white as novelists say men do in moments of horror. A dull red flush crept to the very base of his neck. With a twist of his frail body he tried to throw off Peter’s hands. I remember leaning over the back of the seat and trying to pull Peter back as I realized that it was a madman with whom we were dealing. Nothing seemed real. It was ridiculously like the things one sees in the moving picture theaters. I felt no fear.

  “Sit down, Orme!” Blackie yelled. “You’ll ditch us! Dawn! God!—”

  We shot down a little hill. Two wheels were lifted from the ground. The machine was poised in the air for a second before it crashed into the ditch and turned over completely, throwing me clear, but burying Blackie and Peter under its weight of steel and wood and whirring wheels.

  I remember rising from the ground, and sinking back again and rising once more to run forward to where the car lay in the ditch, and tugging at that great frame of steel with crazy, futile fingers. Then I ran screaming down the road toward a man who was tranquilly working in a field nearby.

  CHAPTER XX

  BLACKIE’S VACATION COMES

  The shabby blue office coat hangs on the hook in the little sporting room where Blackie placed it. No one dreams of moving it. There it dangles, out at elbows, disreputable, its pockets burned from many a hot pipe thrust carelessly into them, its cuffs frayed, its lapels bearing the marks of cigarette, paste-pot and pen.

  It is that faded old garment, more than anything else, which makes us fail to realize that its owner will never again slip into its comfortable folds. We cannot believe that a lifeless rag like that can triumph over the man of flesh and blood and nerves and sympathies. With what contempt do we look upon those garments during our lifetime! And how they live on, defying time, long, long after we have been gathered to our last rest.

  In some miraculous manner Blackie had lived on for two days after that ghastly ride. Peter had been killed instantly, the doctors said. They gave no hope for Blackie. My escape with but a few ridiculous bruises and scratches was due, they said, to the fact that I had sat in the tonneau. I heard them all, in a stupor of horror and grief, and wondered what plan Fate had in store for me, that I alone should have been spared. Norah and Max came, and took things in charge, and I saw Von Gerhard, but all three appeared dim and shadowy, like figures in a mist. When I closed my eyes I could see Peter’s tense figure bending over Blackie at the wheel, and heard his labored breathing as he struggled in his mad fury, and felt again the helpless horror that had come to me as we swerved off the road and into the ditch below, with Blackie, rigid and desperate, still clinging to the wheel. I lived it all over and over in my mind. In the midst of the blackness I heard a sentence that cleared the fog from my mind, and caused me to raise myself from my pillows.

  Some one—Norah, I think—had said that Blackie was conscious, and that he was asking for some of the men at the office, and for me. For me! I rose and dressed, in spite of Norah’s protests. I was quite well, I told them. I must see him. I shook them off with trembling fingers and when they saw that I was quite determined they gave in, and Von Gerhard telephoned to the hospital to learn the hour at which I might meet the others who were to see Blackie for a brief moment.

  I met them in the stiff little waiting room of he hospital—Norberg, Deming, Schmidt, Holt—men who had known him from the time when they had yelled, “Heh, boy!” at him when they wanted their pencils sharpened. Awkwardly we followed the fleet-footed nurse who glided ahead of us down the wide hospital corridors, past doorways through which we caught glimpses of white beds that were no whiter than the faces that lay on the pillows. We came at last into a very still and bright little room where Blackie lay.

  Had years passed over his head since I saw him last? The face that tried to smile at us from the pillow was strangely wizened and old. It was as though a withering blight had touched it. Only the eyes were the same. They glowed in the sunken face, beneath the shock of black hair, with a startling luster and brilliancy.

  I do not know what pain he suffered. I do not know what magic medicine gave him the strength to smile at us, dying as he was even then.

  “Well, what do you know about little Paul Dombey?” he piped in a high, thin voice. The shock of relief was too much. We giggled hysterically, then stopped short and looked at each other, like scared and naughty children.

  “Sa-a-ay, boys and girls, cut out the heavy thinking parts. Don’t make me do all the social stunts. What’s the news? What kind of a rotten cotton sportin’ sheet is that dub Callahan gettin’ out? Who won to-day—Cubs or Pirates? Norberg, you goat, who pinned that purple tie on you?”

  He was so like the Blackie we had always known that we were at our ease immediately. The sun shone in at the window, and some one laughed a little laugh somewhere down the corridor, and Deming, who is Irish, plunged into a droll description of a brand-new office boy who had arrived that day.

  “S’elp me, Black, the kid wears spectacles and a Norfolk suit, and low-cut shoes with bows on ‘em. On the square he does. Looks like one of those Boston infants you see in the comic papers. I don’t believe he’s real. We’re saving him until you get back, if the kids in the alley don’t chew him up before that time.”

  An almost imperceptible shade passed over Blackie’s face. He closed his eyes for a moment. Without their light his countenance was ashen, and awful.

  A nurse in stripes and cap appeared in the doorway. She looked keenly at the little figure in the bed. Then she turned to us.

&
nbsp; “You must go now,” she said. “You were just to see him for a minute or two, you know.”

  Blackie summoned the wan ghost of a smile to his lips. “Guess you guys ain’t got th’ stimulatin’ effect that a bunch of live wires ought to have. Say, Norberg, tell that fathead, Callahan, if he don’t keep the third drawer t’ the right in my desk locked, th’ office kids’ll swipe all the roller rink passes surest thing you know.”

  “I’ll—tell him, Black,” stammered Norberg, and turned away.

  They said good-by, awkwardly enough. Not one of them that did not owe him an unpayable debt of gratitude. Not one that had not the memory of some secret kindness stored away in his heart. It was Blackie who had furnished the money that had sent Deming’s sick wife west. It had been Blackie who had rescued Schmidt time and again when drink got a strangle-hold. Blackie had always said: “Fire Schmidt! Not much! Why, Schmidt writes better stuff drunk than all the rest of the bunch sober.” And Schmidt would be granted another reprieve by the Powers that Were.

  Suddenly Blackie beckoned the nurse in the doorway. She came swiftly and bent over him.

  “Gimme two minutes more, that’s a good nursie. There’s something I want to say t’ this dame. It’s de rigger t’ hand out last messages, ain’t it?”

  The nurse looked at me, doubtfully. “But you’re not to excite yourself.”

  “Sa-a-ay, girl, this ain’t goin’ t’ be no scene from East Lynne. Be a good kid. The rest of the bunch can go.”

  And so, when the others had gone, I found myself seated at the side of his bed, trying to smile down at him. I knew that there must be nothing to excite him. But the words on my lips would come.

  “Blackie,” I said, and I struggled to keep my voice calm and emotionless, “Blackie, forgive me. It is all my fault—my wretched fault.”

  “Now, cut that,” interrupted Blackie. “I thought that was your game. That’s why I said I wanted t’ talk t’ you. Now, listen. Remember my tellin’ you, a few weeks ago, ‘bout that vacation I was plannin’? This is it, only it’s come sooner than I expected, that’s all. I seen two three doctor guys about it. Your friend Von Gerhard was one of ‘em. They didn’t tell me t’ take no ocean trip this time. Between ‘em, they decided my vacation would come along about November, maybe. Well, I beat ‘em to it, that’s all. Sa-a-ay, girl, I ain’t kickin’. You can’t live on your nerves and expect t’ keep goin’. Sooner or later you’ll be suein’ those same nerves for non-support. But, kid, ain’t it a shame that I got to go out in a auto smashup, in these days when even a airship exit don’t make a splash on the front page!”

  The nervous brown hand was moving restlessly over the covers. Finally it met my hand, and held it in a tense little grip.

  “We’ve been good pals, you and me, ain’t we, kid?”

  “Yes, Blackie.”

  “Ain’t regretted it none?”

  “Regretted it! I am a finer, truer, better woman for having known you, Blackie.”

  He gave a little contented sigh at that, and his eyes closed. When he opened them the old, whimsical smile wrinkled his face.

  “This is where I get off at. It ain’t been no long trip, but sa-a-ay, girl, I’ve enjoyed every mile of the road. All kinds of scenery—all kinds of lan’scape—plain—fancy—uphill—downhill—”

  I leaned forward, fearfully.

  “Not—yet,” whispered Blackie. Say Dawn—in the story books—they—always—are strong on the—good-by kiss, what?”

  And as the nurse appeared in the doorway again, disapproval on her face, I stooped and gently pressed my lips to the pain-lined cheek.

  CHAPTER XXI

  HAPPINESS

  We laid Peter to rest in that noisy, careless, busy city that he had loved so well, and I think his cynical lips would have curled in a bitterly amused smile, and his somber eyes would have flamed into sudden wrath if he could have seen how utterly and completely New York had forgotten Peter Orme. He had been buried alive ten years before—and Newspaper Row has no faith in resurrections. Peter Orme was not even a memory. Ten years is an age in a city where epochs are counted by hours.

  Now, after two weeks of Norah’s loving care, I was back in the pretty little city by the lake. I had come to say farewell to all those who had filled my life so completely in that year. My days of newspaper work were over. The autumn and winter would be spent at Norah’s, occupied with hours of delightful, congenial work, for the second book was to be written in the quiet peace of my own little Michigan town. Von Gerhard was to take his deferred trip to Vienna in the spring, and I knew that I was to go with him. The thought filled my heart with a great flood of happiness.

  Together Von Gerhard and I had visited Alma Pflugel’s cottage, and the garden was blooming in all its wonder of color and scent as we opened the little gate and walked up the worn path. We found them in the cool shade of the arbor, the two women sewing, Bennie playing with the last wonderful toy that Blackie had given him. They made a serene and beautiful picture there against the green canopy of the leaves. We spoke of Frau Nirlanger, and of Blackie, and of the strange snarl of events which had at last been unwound to knit a close friendship between us. And when I had kissed them and walked for the last time in many months up the flower-bordered path, the scarlet and pink, and green and gold of that wonderful garden swam in a mist before my eyes.

  Frau Nirlanger was next. When we spoke of Vienna she caught her breath sharply.

  “Vienna!” she repeated, and the longing in her voice was an actual pain. “Vienna! Gott! Shall I ever see it again? Vienna! My boy is there. Perhaps—”

  “Perhaps,” I said, gently. “Stranger things have happened. Perhaps if I could see them, and talk to them—if I could tell them—they might be made to understand. I haven’t been a newspaper reporter all these years without acquiring a golden gift of persuasiveness. Perhaps—who knows?—we may meet again in Vienna. Stranger things have happened.”

  Frau Nirlanger shook her head with a little hopeless sigh. “You do not know Vienna; you do not know the iron strength of caste, and custom and stiff-necked pride. I am dead in Vienna. And the dead should rest in peace.”

  It was late in the afternoon when Von Gerhard and I turned the corner which led to the building that held the Post. I had saved that for the last.

  “I hope that heaven is not a place of golden streets, and twanging harps and angel choruses,” I said, softly. “Little, nervous, slangy, restless Blackie, how bored and ill at ease he would be in such a heaven! How lonely, without his old black pipe, and his checked waistcoats, and his diamonds, and his sporting extra. Oh, I hope they have all those comforting, everyday things up there, for Blackie’s sake.”

  “How you grew to understand him in that short year,” mused Von Gerhard. “I sometimes used to resent the bond between you and this little Blackie whose name was always on your tongue.”

  “Ah, that was because you did not comprehend. It is given to very few women to know the beauty of a man’s real friendship. That was the bond between Blackie and me. To me he was a comrade, and to him I was a good-fellow girl—one to whom he could talk without excusing his pipe or cigarette. Love and love-making were things to bring a kindly, amused chuckle from Blackie.”

  Von Gerhard was silent. Something in his silence held a vague irritation for me. I extracted a penny from my purse, and placed it in his hand.

  “I was thinking,” he said, “that none are so blind as those who will not see.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said, puzzled.

  “That is well,” answered Von Gerhard, as we entered the building. “That is as it should be.” And he would say nothing more.

  The last edition of the paper had been run off for the day. I had purposely waited until the footfalls of the last departing reporter should have ceased to echo down the long corridor. The city room was deserted except for one figure bent over a pile of papers and proofs. Norberg, the city editor, was the last to leave, as always. His desk light glowed in the da
rkness of the big room, and his typewriter alone awoke the echoes.

  As I stood in the doorway he peered up from beneath his green eye-shade, and waved a cloud of smoke away with the palm of his hand.

  “That you, Mrs. Orme?” he called out. “Lord, we’ve missed you! That new woman can’t write an obituary, and her teary tales sound like they were carved with a cold chisel. When are you coming back?”

  “I’m not coming back,” I replied. “I’ve come to say good-by to you and—Blackie.”

  Norberg looked up quickly. “You feel that way, too? Funny. So do the rest of us. Sometimes I think we are all half sure that it is only another of his impish tricks, and that some morning he will pop open the door of the city room here and call out, `Hello, slaves! Been keepin’ m’ memory green?’”

  I held out my hand to him, gratefully. He took it in his great palm, and a smile dimpled his plump cheeks. “Going to blossom into a regular little writer, h’m? Well, they say it’s a paying game when you get the hang of it. And I guess you’ve got it. But if ever you feel that you want a real thrill—a touch of the old satisfying newspaper feeling—a sniff of wet ink—the music of some editorial cussing—why come up here and I’ll give you the hottest assignment on my list, if I have to take it away from Deming’s very notebook.”

  When I had thanked him I crossed the hall and tried the door of the sporting editor’s room. Von Gerhard was waiting for me far down at the other end of the corridor. The door opened and I softly entered and shut it again. The little room was dim, but in the half-light I could see that Callahan had changed something—had shoved a desk nearer the window, or swung the typewriter over to the other side. I resented it. I glanced up at the corner where the shabby old office coat had been wont to hang. There it dangled, untouched, just as he had left it. Callahan had not dared to change that. I tiptoed over to the corner and touched it gently with my fingers. A light pall of dust had settled over the worn little garment, but I knew each worn place, each ink-spot, each scorch or burn from pipe or cigarette. I passed my hands over it reverently and gently, and then, in the dimness of that quiet little room I laid my cheek against the rough cloth, so that the scent of the old black pipe came back to me once more, and a new spot appeared on the coat sleeve—a damp, salt spot. Blackie would have hated my doing that. But he was not there to see, and one spot more or less did not matter; it was such a grimy, disreputable old coat.