Tall Dark Stranger (Cajun Cowboys Book 1)

by Patricia Watters

  She also began to wonder if her reason for putting off marrying Joe had been more pragmatic than anything else, maybe having to do with her job. She could hardly remain living in an apartment in Lafayette if married to Joe, which would mean either a long commute, or changing jobs, when she'd loved working for the Department of Natural Resources. She could probably get her old job back and move to Lafayette, but that would mean seeing Joey only on weekends since Joe had custody, but she was certain she could find work in Abbeville. Under no circumstances would she live with her parents though.

  In the past, Joe had repeatedly assured her that once they were married, he made enough raising and selling cattle and training quarter horses that she wouldn't have to work outside the home at all after Joey was born unless she wanted to.

  Setting all that aside for now, she said as she walked toward the hallway, "I'll still want Joey's infant carrier from the truck so I can put him in my room."

  Joe looked at her, perplexed. "Why? I set up a nursery for him, with a crib, and a dresser filled with clothes, and even a changing table and diapers."

  "I know, I saw it earlier, and it's all very nice, and I saw that you fixed up the bedroom for me too, but I'm used to having Joey in the room with me. It's easier when I have to feed him in the middle of the night. Besides, the SIDS foundation says babies should stay in the room with their parents until they're six months old."

  Joe said nothing, but Anne knew what was behind his silence. In his mind the day would come when he'd have Joey all to himself and there would be problems separating him from his mother when Joey was used to her presence. But she was used to having Joey in her room and wasn't ready to go through that separation.

  "I'll get the infant carrier." Joe turned and left the house.

  Deciding it was time to share with him what happened down at the bayou so they could start working through their problems, Anne said when Joe returned, "After I left here yesterday I didn't go home. I went to the bayou."

  Joe looked at her, baffled. "Why? It was pouring down rain."

  "The rain didn't matter because I had on a rain slicker, but I wanted to see if Tannerin was there, and he was. When I called to him he left the perch and landed about twenty feet from me. We used to play a game where I'd hide the meat and he'd try to find it. This time I didn't have any meat with me, but still he stayed."

  "Then you read about hiding meat in the journal?" Joe asked.

  Anne shook her head. "I remembered it… And the flood."

  Joe's eyes sharpened. "Are you sayin' you have your memory back?"

  "Not all of it, but yes, I have a good portion back. I also remember why I love you. I have to change Joey, but we can talk afterwards."

  "Darlin', you can't leave now. You just dropped a bomb in my lap."

  Anne paused on her way to the hall, Joe's unexpected endearment a sign that what they had before was still a possibility. Glancing over her shoulder, she said, "I know, but Joey dropped a bomb in his diaper when we were driving here and he needs to be changed."

  Joe smiled, the first she'd seen since the night Joey was taken from them and turned over to her parents, and that smile was like the dawn of a new day, maybe a day filled with hope.

  After she'd finished changing Joey she returned to the living room to find Joe sitting on the couch, but before she could put Joey in his infant carrier, Joe opened his arms and said, "I want to hold my boy. He's been gone for well over a week."

  "It seems longer than that," Anne said as she lowered Joey into Joe's arms. "I don't know what I'd do if I were separated from him. The entire time I was in New Orleans I worried some authority would take him and put him in foster care, so I stayed with Karen and rarely ventured out unless I was with her."

  "You said you got a lot of your memory back. Do you know who you are now?" Joe asked.

  "Yes, but there are still gaps to fill. Maybe there always will be, but I feel like things are actually coming back and falling into place." Except what she wanted most, Anne thought, the missing piece to the puzzle, which would determine her fate with him.

  After Joe finished a short conversation with Joey that amounted to Joey cooing and chortling, and Joe smiling and talking nonsense and tucking the end of his finger into Joey's fist, Joe said to Anne, "You said you remembered why you love me. What do you remember?"

  Uncertain whether to sit beside Joe or remain standing while making her declaration, she opted for the latter because whatever she'd tell him wouldn't satisfy his concern about leaving her cushy life to spend the rest of it with him because she still couldn’t tell him why she'd been reluctant to marry him.

  Backing up to the kitchen counter, she grasped the counter top to stem her restless hands, she said, "I remember little things, like how much I've always loved the way you smile, and the way you sometimes look at me makes me smile too. And I love how you gave me gifts, like a little brown bag with crayon hearts you'd drawn on it and filled with pralines, and the box turtle named Fred you gave me, which I told my parents I'd found down at the bayou. And I loved the way you'd sometimes surprise me at my apartment in Lafayette when you'd pop in with a dozen boiled crawfish or something girly for me, like a cake of homemade soap scented with lavender."

  "Those are all about me giving you gifts, sugah, but love has to be more than just gifts."

  "I know. It wasn't the gifts but the man behind them. I fell in love with you because you liked pleasing me when all you had to do was be in my presence and my world was better."

  "Better how?"

  "Your sense of humor lights up my life. When I'm with you I can be as crazy as I want. You also put up with my moodiness and all my other imperfections. When I'm angry and upset you listen to my rambling and try to calm me, but when my anger's finally died you offer me advice on how I can handle things better the next time. I might not take your advice because I can be a little stubborn, but it's always good advice I'd do well to follow."

  Joe let out a soft laugh. "Darlin', the only time you ever took my advice was when I gave you the ring that's on your finger and told you to never take it off, and it's still there, even after everything that's happened in your life since the flood."

  Anne held out her hand and admired the little gold ring with its lover's knot. "Other than the clothes on my back, this was the only thing connecting me with a past I'd forgotten. I remember the day you gave it to me clearly though. You told me it was a talisman you got from a hoodoo rootworker who guaranteed if I wore it we'd be tied together forever."

  His face sober, Joe said, "That's why I gave it to you, and it still holds."

  "Not if we don't get married," Anne countered.

  "Being tied together won't change, darlin', at least not for me. I'll be psychologically and emotionally tied to you till the day I die, but there are a lot of uncertainties right now."

  "About the way you feel?"

  "No, about the way you do. You just gave me a list of reasons why you love me, and maybe you do right now, but over the long haul… I just don't know. Have you figured out why you kept putting off marryin' me?"

  "Not yet, but maybe it wasn't that important. It could have been the time wasn't right, for practical reasons, but I know for a fact that it had nothing to do with leaving my home. I couldn't get away from there soon enough when I moved to Lafayette, and tonight, even under these circumstances, it was a relief to leave. When you arrived with the sheriff I was in the middle of a heated argument with my father."

  "An argument about what?"

  "Joey's name. Since we aren't married, my father was putting pressure on me to change it from Broussard to Harrison, which isn't going to happen. I'm glad we named Joey what we did."

  Joe looked down at Joey, the expression on his face softening. Then he raised his gaze and said to her, "You may be glad now, but it'll always be a bone of contention with your father."

  Anne shrugged. "I know, and I'll be ready to fight for that bone anytime he brings it up. Besides, Beausoleil's a folk
hero who's growing in popularity and there's nothing my father can do about that, and eventually he'll have to accept it."

  Joe let out a disgruntled snort. "It's been over 250 years and still the British haven't accepted Beausoleil, so why should your father?"

  "Because he won't be seeing his grandson or his grandson's mother if he doesn't, and after a while he'll come to that conclusion when I never go over there."

  "Then you plan to cut off your ties with your family?"

  "Would that really matter? I know how you feel about them and with good reason, and all the issues I've had over the years with my father have come back with my return, so yes, I could see breaking my ties with them."

  "And with your sisters and mother?"

  Anne realized Joe was truly disturbed because Cajun life revolved around family, and he couldn't relate to a person wanting to break those ties. She also knew she didn't want to break them either, and although she hated to admit it, her family had close ties too, though not so much with family as they were connected with close friends through common interests such as her mother and grandmother with like-minded women who enjoyed giving teas to raise money for community needs, like the women's shelter, which they'd been involved in for years.

  "Okay, I wouldn't really break my ties with my family," she acknowledged, "but if my father can never accept Joey's name, as well as me having you in my life, then he's the one who'll have to make concessions because I won't. It's a simple as that."

  "So I'd always be a wedge between you and your family," Joe said in a morose voice.

  "No, you'd be a wedge between me and my father, and maybe my grandmother. They're both being unreasonable. Besides, ours isn't the first relationship to be censured by family. Look at all the mixed marriages now. Fifty years ago it didn't happen, and when it did it was a major family upheaval, but families also started to accept the inevitable, and now no one bats an eye at seeing a mixed-race couple."

  "Except ours isn't a mixed race. It's a mixed up mess. We've got two families that have been feuding for generations, with your family wishing mine would either sell out to them or drop off the face of the earth, and my family wishin' yours would go back to England and leave them in peace. And I keep seeing you in that silk robe."

  Anne looked at him, baffled he'd bring up something so random. "You mean the robe I was wearing when you came by my parent's house that first night?"

  Joe nodded. "I can't afford to give you clothes like that, but I'd want to."

  Anne could hardly believe he'd be so out of sorts because of something as benign as a silk robe. "I don't even want clothes like that," she said. "It was in my closet when I went looking for something to put over the gown my mother had laid out for me, so I grabbed it."

  "But you must have liked it enough to buy it."

  "I didn't buy it. My grandmother brought it back from England the last time she visited relatives there. It's a beautiful robe but whenever I wear it, mostly to please her, I can't help imagining how it would look with catsup or gravy dribbled down the front, reminding me that I much prefer my old terry robe that I can toss in the washer."

  "Don't get me wrong, darlin'. I'd never object to you wanting things like that. When you and Kate came to the rodeo dressed the way you were, you looked pretty as a picture. It's just I can't afford to give you what you had growin' up, but I would if I could."

  Anne realized Joe was talking in the present, like they still had a future together. "You sound like you're reconsidering things with us."

  "I don't know what I'm doin' right now. Maybe I just want to keep our options open till you figure out why you were reluctant to marry me before."

  "What if it's like I said, that it was for practical reasons, maybe staying at my job in Lafayette a little longer, or waiting until you'd finished fixing up the house."

  "That wouldn't have stopped us from getting' married and livin' separately until the time was right, but neither of those options were the issue or we would've talked about it. You do understand, sugah, that as much as I love you, we can't make lifelong vows before God until we get some answers."

  "I know. I just wish I could give you those answers so you'd be convinced ours would be a long happy marriage." Anne sighed, wondering how things could have gotten so far off track in such a short time. Less than three weeks ago they'd baptized their son, their love was growing, and marriage was on the horizon, and even though she might have put off marrying him before the flood, for whatever reason, for her now it wasn't an issue.

  "Darlin', maybe you could sit here." Joe patted the couch beside him.

  Anne looked at his sober face then unfolded her arms, which she realized had somehow become tightly clutched to her body, and sat beside him.

  Joe promptly took her hand in his, and said, "I'm goin' a little crazy right now, wantin' to haul you off to bed, knowing it's the last thing that should happen under the circumstances."

  "I really do understand," Anne said, "but I'm thinking it's more for you than me at this point. While I'm curious about why I didn't rush into marriage when I got pregnant, I just feel like whatever the problem was would be irrelevant now."

  "It's irrelevant as long as you can't remember." Joe released her hand, and gathering Joey in his arms, lowered the sleeping baby into his infant carrier then put his arm around Anne, and when he pulled her against him, she placed her hand on his thigh and waited for what he'd do next. Which was to turn her face to his and kiss her, and when he did, Anne wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, a long kiss she wanted to last forever, but which was stopped when Joe moved his lips from hers and said, "I love you, darlin', and even though I want to continue this in bed, I'm stoppin' here, but things can't keep goin' on like this because it's got my gut twisted in a knot."

  "Maybe if we were in bed the reason I was holding off marrying you would come back."

  Joe leaned his head back against the couch and said in a wear voice, "We shouldn't have done it in the past because the church only endorses lovemakin' under the covenant of marriage, but I bent the rules because I knew we were headin' in that direction. But once you got pregnant, you had serious doubts you wouldn’t talk about."

  "I know, and it's that computer thing again. The reason's in my head, but I can't remember the file," Anne said, loving Joe all the more because for him making love wasn't a casual thing to satisfy basic needs, it was a spiritual binding of souls intended to last a lifetime, and until he got the one answer he needed, the marriage was off.

  CHAPTER 15

  The following morning, with Joey sleeping soundly in his crib after being fed, Anne moved restlessly around the house, unable to settle in one spot. Although Joe kissed her the day before while they were sitting on the couch, and assured her he loved her, she felt like a guest in his house instead of the way she'd felt when Joe told her she was the woman of the house and got to set the rules. She wanted to be that woman again.

  When she'd been uprooted from New Orleans to the Broussard ranch, and found herself among strangers, including Joe, not knowing where she belonged, Joe convinced her he'd loved her enough before the flood to buy the house she wanted and move it onto his property. It didn't matter if he was a stranger then. The fact that he loved her enough to go to those extremes was sufficient for her to allow the love she'd once had for him to grow again.

  Turning her attention to the new kitchen, she trailed her finger along a shiny counter that looked like polished granite, amazed how nice the place was, though she was a little disappointed she hadn't been a part of the renovation, but she loved Joe all the more for being the conscientious father to Joey he was. More than conscientious...

  You'll always have a roof over your head, food in your belly, a job on the ranch, a daddy who'll give his life for you, and a family who'll love you till the day you die.

  She had no doubt Joe meant every word he said because she knew the man he was now, when before the emergence of her memory down at the bayou she only sensed who
he was.

  Glancing out the front window, she looked in the distance at the stable, wondering when he'd be back. When she awakened that morning he'd already left for the day, leaving a note on the kitchen table telling her to go to the big house for meals, that he and Ace were putting in some cross-fencing in one of the horse pastures and wouldn't be back till later.

  Seeing no activity at the barn or stables, she was about to turn from the window when a car pulled up out front, a silver Lexus sedan she recognized as her mother's car. Walking onto the porch, she waited to see what her mother wanted.

  Helen Harrison stepped out of the car, and when she spotted Anne on the porch, she smiled, like it was a friendly visit, which made Anne edgy. She had no idea what her parents' mindset was now, but her father wasn't one to give up easily and he could still challenge Joe for custody in her name, but if that was the case, her mother would soon learn it wasn't an option. She and Joe would work things out between themselves.

  "Honey, I just stopped by to see you and Joey if it's alright," Helen said.

  Anne couldn't help but notice her mother's appearance. Hair freshly coiffed. Slacks and a contrasting jacket that hugged her mother's trim figure, the ensemble screaming of high quality. "Well, yes, it's alright, as long as the issue over custody is dropped."

  Her mother shrugged her indifference. "I don't think there's anything more to be done."

  "Oh, I'm sure my father could think of something, but you both need to understand that as long as the family treats Joe like a second-class citizen and talks about him and his kin the way you do, I won't be coming to the house and you will not be seeing Joey. I won't have anyone over there poisoning Joey's mind against Joe or his family, or Cajuns in general."