“It’s fine that you did,” he laughed. “I’m just not ready to bring it up again. Everyone else is always bugging me about it, trying to check on me. You’re the only person who makes me feel like I can just be me and not have to explain anything.”
He coughed, clearing his throat as his face reddened, apparently embarrassed by what he’d just admitted.
“I feel the same way,” I smiled. “I don’t have to do anything but just be me and want what I want when we’re together.”
“You’re not going to tell anyone I talk about my feelings with you, are you?” he joked, still embarrassed.
“Not a soul,” I said, crossing my heart. “I promise.”
Our short ride came to an end and we shuffled off the platform, back down onto the pathway laid out for pedestrians. Almost instantly, I caught another glimpse of Steph, heading our way through the crowd.
“Do you trust me?” I asked Evan, stopping in front of him and turning to look at him.
“Yeah, why?”
I smiled sweetly, stepping closer to him and taking his hand.
“Do you think Steph would leave you alone if she really believed you were moving on?”
“I don’t know?”
“Kiss me,” I grinned. “And we’ll find out.”
Confusion filled his eyes as he raised an eyebrow at me, opening his mouth to say something. At the last moment, he decided against it though, instead wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me up against him.
I knew Steph would see. I knew that it wouldn’t ever count as a real kiss. But I knew I really wished it would.
He leaned forward, kissing me softly, sweetly, much like the first time I’d ever been kissed. Just as I expected him to pull away, though, something changed. His other hand found its way to my back, resting between my shoulder blades and tangled into my hair, lips moving against mine with more eagerness.
My knees felt weak as I released his hand and fisted mine into his shirt, holding him to me just as tightly as he was crushing me to him. It was like fireworks were exploding in my chest, his musky smell filling my nostrils as I tasted his lips.
All too soon, he pulled away, looking at me in mild surprise, still clutching me to his body.
I cleared my throat, letting go of his shirt and trying to smooth the wrinkled fabric. Looking back up at his face, I smiled timidly, only to be greeted by nervous laughter from him.
Releasing me, he looked back over at the ride for a moment, taking a deep breath. I looked the other way, doing the same, and trying to see if Steph was still around.
She was nowhere to be found.
Chapter Fourteen
Monday night had me feeling like I needed a distraction from my distraction.
What was wrong with me?! Did I enjoy making my life miserable? I never should have asked Evan to kiss me, not when I knew I was starting to like him as more than just a friend. That moment had been all I could think about practically. Most of the time I was slapping myself for letting it happen. The few moments I wasn’t, I was giggling like a girl who’d never been kissed before.
This was bad. Not only was it unfair to Chris, who still seemed so interested and ready to be together, but it was unfair to Evan. He was still hurting after his break up. Why did I have to wiggle myself in there and make things harder for him?
I sighed, my wine goblet dangling in my fingers as I looked out at the view in front of Chris’s window. It was still just as beautiful as the first time I’d seen it, as was the hunk of man who lived here.
I wished I could let go of things and be so easily carefree, like every other girl who was dating more than one guy could. Not that I knew any girls who were doing that.
“Where are you?”
Chris’s voice pulled me out of my meditations, bringing me back to the couch we were both sitting on.
I looked at him, his fit body somewhat dressed down from our normal outings. Instead of a full on suit, he wore a button up shirt, open at the neck, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and black slacks. He’d probably come home from work and never changed, instead opting to just get more comfortable.
I, on the other hand, had worn jean shorts and a tank top. I felt like a llama in a grocery store.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, sighing again. “It’s been a long week.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I laughed humorlessly. “Thank you for asking me over. I needed some time away.”
“Well,” he said, getting up and setting his glass on the coffee table. “How about some music to help you relax?”
Picking up a remote, he hit a button and soft, slow dance music came on, filling the room with its atmospheric beat.
“Care to dance?” he asked, offering me a hand.
I smiled, trying not to laugh as I stood and accepted the offer. Surprisingly, he was a very good dancer, moving us around the room with ease.
“I really like you, Mara,” he said seriously. “I see in you the potential for great things and that excites me. I want to be a part of that.”
“I like you, too,” I said sincerely.
This was it. I could feel the conversation about our status as a couple coming up. Since Chris was the one doing it, there was nothing I could do to avoid it now.
“I know you don’t want anything serious,” he said, swaying gently with me still. “That’s fine. I don’t know that I’m ready for anything serious, like I had with Clara. I am, however, ready to take us to the next level, meaning introducing you to my friends and family, having you over more, not dating anyone else.”
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend,” I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder.
“I am,” he chuckled. “But I don’t want you to answer now. I want you to think about it and make sure it’s really what you want before you say anything.”
Lifting my head off his shoulder, I looked into his eyes and smiled.
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Wonderful,” he said, smiling.
The rest of our night together followed the same polite pattern, making me kind of feel like I was being courted during a time long gone rather than spending time with a man in his house all by myself. If there was one thing I could always say about Chris it was that he was continually trying to be a gentleman. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact, I actually liked it. Everything always felt so formal with him, though.
At the end of the night, he walked me to my door, like always, stopping me from going right in.
“Don’t forget to think about what I said,” he reminded me.
“I won’t,” I laughed. “I promise.”
“Good.”
Taking me in his arms once again, he pulled me close and softly kissed my lips, lingering a little longer than he usually did. It felt nice, like having a man around who didn’t push girls over in an attempt to get what he wanted was a breath of fresh air. He hadn’t ever kissed me like he did during the fireworks again, but that was okay. I didn’t know if passion was what I needed right now.
“I’ll call you,” I said, breaking away from him.
“Don’t make me wait too long,” he teased.
Laughing, I slipped inside the door, waving goodbye as I did so. Once it was securely shut and locked, I leaned back against it, a sigh breaking loose once more.
“You. Kissed. My. Brother.”
Straightening in shock, my eyes immediately found Lizzy on the couch where I’d missed her before. She was in her pajamas, a bowl of popcorn sitting in the space between her folded legs. On her face was an expression of pure glee, instead of the angry one I’d expected.
“It’s not what you think,” I started.
“Oh, it is,” she giggled. “He told me everything. Said he had no idea what to do.”
“It was just to ward of Steph,” I said lamely. “She was bothering him and I felt bad about it.”
“Uh huh, sure. Is that why you agreed to go out with him in the first place?�
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“No! I mean, yes it was. We had a deal, that’s all.”
“I know,” she laughed again. “He told me about that, too. I just wanted to see what you would say about all of it.”
“Well, it’s messed up now,” I said, walking over and flopping down next to her. “Since we kissed, I feel like things could end up being serious with him. That’s exactly what I was trying to avoid in the first place.”
“So you enjoyed it? That is so gross,” she squealed, grabbing a fistful of popcorn and shoving it into her mouth.
“I don’t know,” I answered, getting caught up in my own thoughts again. “Maybe it was just the moment, the acting it out, you know? Maybe I felt like a character, playing a part in a different story.”
“Mara,” Lizzy said once she’d swallowed. “I’m going to tell you something important. You need to stay away from him. If you don’t, you’ll fall in love with him. It’s as simple as that. I tried warning other friends before and they didn’t listen. Now I can’t even talk to them because they’re heartbroken over my brother. I don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t want that to happen to him. Because, frankly, I don’t think he can handle another girl falling for him, especially in the state he’s been in after Steph. He acts like he’s fine, but he’s not. I’ve seen him more down now than I ever have in my life. So please, unless you’re willing to follow through, stay away from him. I can’t watch any more hearts get broken.”
“He’s a great guy,” I said, a very small smile appearing on my lips. “I can easily see why you’d be worried.”
“So you’ll leave him alone?”
“I’ll talk to him,” I sighed. “Chris wants to move things to the next level anyway. I’m starting to think it would be easier on all of us if I just dated who I wanted to date in the first place.”
“Evan likes spending time with you, he really does. I just think it would be better if, you know, there was no kissing involved.”
“I understand,” I laughed, hauling myself to my feet. “I’m going to bed. Talk more tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
Trudging to my room, I let the curtain fall back and wrap me in my own cocoon of safety, away from all the busy, confused feelings outside. I knew Lizzy wasn’t trying to be mean, just helpful. I also knew that I couldn’t really keep seeing Evan if she was against it. She was my best friend, her brother should have been off limits to begin with.
Too tired to even change, I crawled into the bed, grateful to be able to escape my own head for a while.
Chris poured me a glass of wine as I looked out over the cityscape, enjoying the twinkling lights.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, taking my glass from him.
“You’re beautiful,” he replied, watching me take a sip.
As soon the glass left my lips, he took it from me, pulling me up against his body with his other hand. His face moved towards mine, and I closed my eyes, anticipating the kiss that was about to happen.
His lips met mine roughly, moving in a way they never had before, bruising my mouth in their anxiousness. The one hand clutched me to him at my back, the other, having set my glass down, and weaved its way into my hair.
I moaned as I wrapped my arms around his chest, eyes flying open as I realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
I was kissing Evan! His muscles rippled as he tightened his hold on me, lifting me into the air and guiding my legs around his waist.
I melted into his touch, matching his passion the best I could. My heart soared at his touch. We were finally together!
He took a few steps forward and sat me down on the counter in front of him, hands sliding down my legs, pulling my heels off, tossing them behind him. My stockings came next, a thrill going through me as his hands brushed the skin under my skirt, drawing the thigh highs off in the sexiest way I’d ever seen.
Breaking away from my mouth for a moment, his lips danced over the skin on my legs as it was revealed, dropping each stocking on the floor once it was completely off.
Gasping for breath, I laid back, shoving the glasses out of the way as he unzipped my skirt, his lips brushing my hip after the fabric slid off it.
He climbed up on the counter after me, buttons popping off my shirt as he ripped it open. Frenzied kisses landed on my collarbone and neck as he pressed himself against me.
I dragged my fingers down his back, uncontrollable feelings of ecstasy running through me. His skin was so warm and strong. It was everything I’d ever wanted without realizing it. I didn’t care if I never did anything else ever again in my life as long as he kept kissing me.
His lips met mine once more and his fingers traced the outline of my black, lacy bra.
“Mara,” he panted, the need almost driving me insane.
“Mara . . . Mara!”
I opened my eyes in surprise, Lizzy standing over me with concern etched into her face.
“Are you okay? You were whimpering in your sleep.”
I blinked a few times, trying to gather my surroundings. I was in my bed, right where I’d crashed the night before. From the light coming in outside, it looked like it was still early morning. Suddenly, the dream flooded back into my mind full force.
“Yes!” I rushed to say. “I was, uh . . . having a nightmare. I dreamed I was onstage and forgot my lines.”
“Nice,” she said, shuffling back towards the door. “You were just kinda loud. I thought I’d wake you up to make sure you were fine.”
“I’m sorry,” I said the blush and horror deepening on my face.
“It’s fine,” she said with a yawn. “I’m glad I helped stop a nightmare.”
“Yeah,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I, uh, need to go to the bathroom anyway. Thanks.”
I quickly got out of bed and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Leaning on the sink, I looked at myself in the mirror.
My face was definitely flushed, partly from the dream. My heart was racing a million miles a minute as I touched my lips, remembering Evan’s touch.
He didn’t actually touch you! My brain screamed at me. It was a dream!
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, before splashing water on my face.
I need to stop seeing Evan. There’s no way I can do this anymore.
Chapter Fifteen
“Evan, I’ve decided to see Chris.”
I looked at my face in the mirror seriously, trying to get the words to come out of my mouth in a way that wouldn’t sound bad.
“I’ve decided to be with Chris, Evan. I’m so sorry.”
No matter how I twisted the words around, they still didn’t sound very nice in my head.
I’d never broken up with someone I wasn’t really dating before. It was proving to be more difficult than I thought. The whole issue with Steph made me feel bad enough, like I was abandoning him in his time of need. Lizzy was right, though. Enough was enough and I needed to be fair to everyone.
Plus, not having to worry about Chris thinking I was skipping out on him for another guy was very appealing.
“Evan,” I started again, giving myself a determined look in the mirror.
“Yeah?”
I jumped, caught off guard by his voice as he came into the loft.
“Uh, just a minute!” I called, scrambling to put myself together.
My hair was a tangled wet mess, cascading over my shoulders and onto my tank top and bra straps. Thank heavens I’d put some cotton shorts on after I got out of the shower. Actually, thank heavens I’d put any clothes on at all.
Quickly, I tore a brush through my hair and tied it up in a very messy bun that hung onto my head for dear life. I didn’t even have any makeup on.
This was going to be interesting.
“Hey!” I said, coming into the living room nervously. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Really? I thought I heard you saying my name when I came in.”
Oh crap. He was wearing his black leather jacket. It hugged him in
all the right places, reminding me of the night I’d straddled his motorcycle and clung to him as well. And then there was the time he’d straddled me on the counter . . .
It was a dream, Mara, I scolded myself. It didn’t really happen.
“I was talking to myself,” I said, embarrassed, dragging my eyes away from him in an attempt to focus.
Why did breaking up with your pretend boyfriend have to be so hard?
“Running lines?” he asked, going into the kitchen and opening the fridge.
“No,” I stammered, following after him, my arms wrapped tightly around my chest. “I actually do need to talk to you, though.”
“Shoot,” he said, bending over and examining all of our food.
“Well, it’s about us,” I started lamely.
“Liz talked with you,” he said calmly, still eyeballing everything in the icebox.
“Yes, but,”
“She always thinks she has to stick up for me,” he laughed. “I can take care of myself. I shouldn’t have said anything to her to begin with.”
“It’s not that,” I said, coming closer, wishing he would pull his dang head out of his stomach and look at me.
When he didn’t answer, I decided that coming right out with it might be the best answer.
“Chris asked me to be his girlfriend and I’m going to say yes.”
Finally, he stopped rummaging through our things and straightened up, looking at me in surprise. The silence that filled the house felt like it could be cut by a knife.
“Are you sure that’s best decision?” he finally asked, his voice straining some.
“I think so,” I said quietly.
“What about focusing on work?”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine with the classes and everything.”
“Is this because we kissed?” he demanded. “Because that was your idea.”
“I know it was,” I pleaded. “But it was a bad idea. I wasn’t thinking it through. You’re obviously still upset by whatever happened with you and Steph. I shouldn’t have made it worse by getting you to play head games with her.”
Taking Chances: A Sweet Contemporary Romance (Dreams) Page 12
