Give Me Something I Can Feel

by B. Love

  “Wow,” came from on the side of me, and I couldn’t have agreed more.

  Charlie was beautiful.

  Charlie was beauty.

  The sequin gown accentuated her curves perfectly. All I could think about was pulling her into me by her hips and kissing her until all of her lipstick had been removed.

  She blushed as applause and cheers continued all over the room, but I couldn’t clap. I couldn’t cheer. I couldn’t do anything but take her in. When the room quieted down Mrs. Berry said…

  “I refuse to start the bidding at anything less than twenty thousand.”

  That bid was quickly met and raised to 50. I wasn’t expecting to be pissed at the bids being made for her. I mean… this was to be expected. But to have so many men wanting my woman? Mrs. Berry repeated a bid of a hundred thousand and regained my attention.

  “150,” I said as I raised my paddle.

  This must have been the first time Charlie noticed me because her smile fell at the sight of me, then returned widely.

  “Hi,” she mouthed as she pulled her arms behind her.

  I nodded and unbuttoned my jacket – fully prepared to go in for her fine ass.

  “155,” came from the opposite side of the room.

  “175,” came from behind me.

  “200,” I countered.

  Charlie’s eyes widened. Was she surprised that I had money or that the bidding was so high?

  “250,” came from the opposite side of the room.

  “300,” came from behind me.

  “500,” I countered.

  Charlie took a step back as Mrs. Berry’s mouth dropped.

  “Is that a bid of five hundred thousand dollars?” she repeated. I nodded. “Five hundred going once…”

  “505,” came from the side of me.

  “510,” came from behind me.

  I wasn’t about to go back and forth with these folks all night.

  “610,” I countered.

  “650,” came from the side of me.

  I looked over to see who it was for the first time, and he was already looking at me.

  “700,” I countered with a smile.

  He scratched his nose and took a deep breath looking from me to Charlie.

  “Seven hundred going once… seven hundred going twice…”

  “725,” came from the side of me.

  I chuckled and stood. After buttoning my jacket back up I raised my paddle.

  “One million.”

  Gasps. Whispers. Whistles. Cheers.

  Charlie covered her mouth and took a few steps back.

  “Wow. One million going once…” I stepped from behind my table and started making my way to the stage. “One million going twice…” the closer I got the more she backed away. “Sold to paddle number 13 for one million dollars!”

  Hands were grabbing me as I made my way to her. I saw people on the sides of me clapping and cheering and talking to me… but none of that shit was registering. None of that meant anything to me. All I wanted to do was get to Charlie.

  By the time I made it on stage she was backed into a corner with tears pouring from her eyes. Her mouth was still being covered by her hands. I pulled them down and kissed them both. Her eyes closed immediately.

  “Knight,” her voice trembled just as badly as her hands did. “Did you just… did you just spend a million dollars to go on a date with me? With me?”

  Using my thumbs to wipe away her tears, I nodded.

  “I had to have you. I had to claim you. I needed you to belong to me. To be mine. Even if it’s just for one night.”

  “Knight… I…” her head shook before she lowered it and cried harder.

  I took her hand into mine and led her backstage. When we were alone I pulled her into my arms and held her as she cried.

  “Why are you crying, Charlie? Did you not want me to win?”

  “I’m just surprised and happy and a little overwhelmed,” she muttered as she sobbed.

  That made me smile. And the fact that her arms wrapped tighter around me.

  “Stop crying, beauty. I don’t want your eyes red during our date. You’ve got two hours to get home and dressed. Get yourself together and text me your address.”

  I kissed her temple, dried her eyes one last time, then made my way back to Mrs. Berry to give her my check and head home to change clothes myself.

  First of all; where did Knight even get a million dollars to bid on me? Seriously. Who bids on someone for a million dollars? Seriously. Like, OK. I know that he’s a sports announcer, but sports announcers ain’t making bank like that!

  Second of all; who was I that he would even bid a million dollars on me? I expected some bids of a few thousand dollars for the charity, but the look in Knight’s eyes was not one that burned for charity or the hospital. His eyes were trained on me.

  Third of all; why did he have to look so good? That gold and black dinner jacket suited his style perfectly. The white shirt against his brown skin made him look edible. And the way his pants fit looked as if they were created especially for him.

  And don’t even get me started on his face and neatly trimmed hair and beard.

  Good God.

  Knight ruined me at that auction. Straight up ruined me. In a good way, though. One that I thoroughly enjoyed. One that would leave me tainted for the next man. No matter what happened between us after tonight, any man that tried to be with me from this point forward would have some big shoes to fill.

  Who am I kidding?

  Knight’s shoes could never be filled.

  My thoughts were all over the place when I made it home. Instead of getting dressed I spent about 45 minutes sitting at the edge of my bed thinking about Knight. It was obvious that we liked each other and were fighting it for our own hidden reasons, but tonight… there was no doubt in my mind that tonight would change everything between us.

  Good or bad.

  The ringing of my phone pulled me out of my thoughts. I wasn’t expecting a call from Doctor Berry, so I immediately went into panic mode as I answered.

  “Dr. Berry?”

  “Hey, Charlie. Are you with Knight?”

  “Not yet. Is something wrong?”

  I stood and ran my hand across my stomach.

  “Ah,” he blew into the phone and I imagined him scratching his mustache as he used to do when he had to tell my parents something he didn’t think they’d like to hear. “I’m not quite sure. I don’t think there’s anything wrong per se, I just… would like to speak with you soon. Can you stop by my office Monday?”

  “Sure. Um… I can stop by before I start meeting with my clients. Around eight?”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then. And thank you so much for participating in the auction tonight, Charlie. This one event brought in more than we’ve made so far all week.”

  “Oh no problem. No problem at all. I’m excited about the events for the rest of the week.”

  “Me too. Have a great night, Charlie.”

  “You as well.”

  I disconnected the call and made my way to my closet for something to wear. After choosing a strapless brown mermaid maxi dress I put my hair up and showered. The whole time I showered I questioned my choice of dress. It was linen, thin, and comfortable which is what I was going for, but it also was backless and tied at the top of my ass which could be a problem.

  Knight had no problem expressing his attraction to me, and I didn’t want to tease him. I didn’t want to get him all hot and bothered and not be able to follow it up with sex. Was he expecting sex? Shit, I hope not.

  After washing, I used my body scrub to make sure my skin would be soft, shiny, and smelling good just the way he liked. Any time I used the shea butter scrub I didn’t have to use any lotion because it was so moisturizing, and that’s the one I’d been using a lot since meeting Knight. The moment he made it clear that he liked the scent was the moment it became my every day choice.

  By the time I was done reapplying my makeu
p Knight was ringing my doorbell. I quickly grabbed my robe and put it on as I made my way down the hall to let him in. Even though I knew it was him I looked in the peephole on my door to confirm.

  I licked my lips and bit the top one as I unlocked the door. Standing behind it, I opened it wide enough to let him in. I closed it and grabbed the top of my robe… in no rush to turn around and face him.

  “Sorry, I just need a few minutes,” I informed him.

  The feel of his hand around my wrist had me closing my eyes as he turned me to face him.

  “You’re worth the wait. I’m a little early anyway.”

  I opened my eyes and smiled at the bouquet of yellow roses in his hand. His hand dropped from my wrist, and he extended the opposite hand with the flowers inside.

  “These are beautiful, Knight. Thank you so much.”

  He nodded as I took them and placed his hands in his pockets.

  “I figured we could do dinner and whatever else you wanna do. I’m not really sure what you’re into. Figured we could maybe get to know each other better tonight.”

  I took a natural step towards him and smiled when his nostrils flared as he inhaled my scent. Why was he holding back?

  “That’s fine, Knight. I’m down for whatever. Pool. Movie. Drinks. Hookah lounge. It’s whatever.”

  His eyebrows lifted at the same time his mouth opened slightly.

  “You’re into that kind of shit?”

  I chuckled a little and nodded as he took a step towards me.

  “Absolutely. What did you think I was going to say?”

  “I don’t know, but I wasn’t expecting that. I honestly thought you’d be a little uptight, but I can definitely rock with all of the suggestions you put out.”

  “Uptight? Really, Knight?”

  “Yea, I mean, you haven’t gone on a date in years and you’ve already expressed that tonight might be a bit uncomfortable for you. I figured you’d just want to come home after dinner.”

  My head shook as I closed the space between us.

  “Knight, tonight you made the grandest gesture for me. You spent a million dollars to spend the night with me. Whatever I have to do to keep my nerves settled I will. I want tonight to be memorable for the both of us. Besides… this past month has given me the time needed to get comfortable with you. You’re right, we don’t know the facts about each other and all of that, but we vibe nicely. I don’t think there’s anything that could happen tonight that would make me uncomfortable.”

  His pointing finger slid across my collarbone gently as he licked his lips.

  “In that case… hurry up and get dressed.”

  We went to Flight for dinner, and as soon as we ordered our food and were alone I asked…

  “OK, are you a drug dealer?”

  He laughed, and I did too, but I was kind of serious. Those ebony eyes stared into mine until his laugh became a smile. Then he lowered them only to move his drink out of the way before looking at me again.

  “I’m not a drug dealer, Charlie,” Knight placed his hands on top of the table as he continued. “I used to play for the Grizzlies before I became an announcer. While playing I lived off of advertisements and put all of the money I made playing in the bank. When I retired I had about four years’ worth of salary saved. So I’m living pretty comfortably right now.”

  “Really? I thought that you were really great during the basketball game, but it never entered my mind that you’ve played professionally before. Your life is so simple, Knight, I never would’ve guessed you were sitting on bank like that. I mean you have to have a lot of money to blow a million on this,” I gestured at myself with one hand and the restaurant with the other. “But now that I think about it your house is pretty big, and your car is amazing.”

  That was true. I wanted to ask to drive his 2017 Lincoln MKZ as soon as I sat in the passenger seat, but I wasn’t sure if he was one of those men who were super possessive of their cars so I bit my tongue.

  “This,” he pointed at me and the restaurant, “Is not something that I blew my money on. You were well worth the investment. If I would have had to go higher I would’ve, Charlie. Money to me is… just a resource for me to have the things I truly want in life. Spending a million or a billion to have a night with you?” he chuckled quietly and sat back in his seat with a shake of his head. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

  “But I just don’t understand why,” I blurted with my frustration evident in my voice and face. “You could have any woman you want… why me?”

  “If you think I’m a good enough man to have any woman I want… why wouldn’t it be you? Who else would it be, beauty? There is no one else.”

  I finished my glass of Chardonnay and massaged my temples as he looked on and smiled.

  “My attraction to you bothers you,” he noticed. “Why?”

  Our waiter walked by and noticed my glass was empty, so he offered to refill it, but Knight told him to bring us a bottle instead.

  “It doesn’t really bother me as much as it surprises me.”

  “Why would it surprise you? You’re beautiful. Intelligent. Independent. One of the sweetest and most caring and loving people I’ve ever met. Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you, Charlie?”

  I shrugged and reached for my now full glass, but he pulled it away from me.

  “I need you to open up, Charlie. I’ve given you more than enough time to not let me in. I need access tonight.”

  “OK. You first. Tell me about you. About your time in the NBA. Your past. Your family. I wanna know everything about you.”

  I could tell he felt some type of way about me deflecting, but he didn’t object. Knight told me about his family. His mother and father. How his mother died when he was 22, and that she was the reason he left the NBA. How she asked him to finish college and get a degree before he went to the NBA but he didn’t.

  He went his first year of college and was hardly ever home because of it. His mother ended up getting sicker and sicker until death took her, and he felt so guilty about not being there for her that he stopped playing in the league.

  “But you have to know that she wouldn’t have wanted you to give up your dream for her, right?” I asked with watery eyes.

  It broke my heart to watch him display his.

  “I know that now, but 10 years ago I wasn’t thinking rationally. I was hurting. I was angry. I was guilty. Still am. Just… it doesn’t… consume me as much now.”

  “Have you ever considered going back to the NBA?”

  “Honestly, no. I’m 32 years old, Charlie.”

  “So? Kobe retired when he was over 32, right? And I know Michael Jordan was old when he retired. I can’t think of any other examples, but you’re younger than both of them.”

  Knight smiled and stretched his arm across the table with his palm forward, and I placed my hand inside.

  “This is really sweet of you, and it definitely makes me feel good, but… that time has passed for me.”

  “Oh, so, you think you wouldn’t be able to hang anymore is what you’re saying?”

  “What? Hell no.”

  The disgust that covered his face made me laugh as he yanked his hand from mine.

  “I’m just saying, Knight, if you think you can’t hang…”

  “I can hang.”

  “Then prove it,” his face softened as he thought over my challenge. “You can practice with me.”

  His smile returned.

  “Practice with you? What you know about basketball?”

  “I can play!”

  “Mane, whatever.”

  “I can!”

  “Ima make you prove that one day.”

  “Shit, we can play tonight.”

  “Charlie, don’t play with me, girl.”

  “I’m serious. That can be what we do when we leave here.”

  Knight scratched his ear and nodded.

  “Cool. I’m down. Now tell me about you. I’ve been wondering about that tattoo since I
first saw it.”

  I ran my finger over the tattoo on my wrist. It was my first and only tattoo. The one that pretty much summed my life up to this point.

  “It’s three dates. My birthday, the day I was diagnosed with my heart condition, and the day I had my heart transplant.”

  “Wow. You had a heart transplant?”

  His face softened as I smiled. This conversation was long overdue between the two of us. It was one of the… no it was the reason why I’d been so guarded with him. He deserved to know the truth, but I just… wasn’t sure if this was the place to tell him all of it.

  Our waiter brought our entrees out, but Knight pushed his food to the side as his eyes and attention remained on me.

  “Yea, um… when I was born I had a heart murmur but it wasn’t anything serious. I didn’t start having trouble out of my heart until I was 13. I was on the majorette team at my school and I passed out during one of our performances. My parents took me to the hospital because even after I woke up and rested I was still tired and out of breath. My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest and I was so freaking scared.

  It started with me having a problem with the left valve. Then it was the left and right. Then my heart started to enlarge. And by 19, 10 years ago, I needed a new one completely. I’d exhausted every other option at that point. The transplant was my last and only option, and even that wasn’t guaranteed because my body could’ve rejected the heart.

  But obviously it didn’t,” I smiled as a tear fell, but it wasn’t a sad tear, it was a proud tear.

  “So you’re good now? I don’t have to worry about you…”

  He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t ask it.

  “Dying?”

  Knight nodded as his head lowered.

  “Well, most transplant patients are given 10 years.”

  “10 years?” he repeated louder than I think he wanted to. “But that’s… now. You could die now? Like any day now? What the fuck, Charlie?”

  I giggled at the distressed look on his face as I reached for his hand. He gave it to me hesitantly. I’d come to grips with my fate. There was a chance that I’d live a full, normal life, and there was a chance that I wouldn’t. The way I looked at it… people die young every day. I was just grateful for the extra time I was blessed with.