Just Enough Light

by AJ Quinn

  Not enough for Dana either, apparently, because she cleverly turned the tables, rolling Kellen onto her back and straddling her hips.

  Heart pounding, breath ragged, body trembling with pent up longing, she sensed Dana’s need to take control. So she gave it to her and hoped she showed her this wasn’t just about a physical connection.

  She’d never felt closer to anyone in her life. And this was about telling her without words what a miracle she was in her life. About how she couldn’t imagine anyone else in the world that would ever come close to meaning as much to her as Dana did.

  She lay beneath her, forced her hands to stay still, and watched her move in the flickering candlelight that bathed her in gold. She groaned when Dana ground her pelvis against hers. Sighed as she felt the heat and wetness between her thighs. Stopped breathing when Dana planted her palms on the bed on either side of her shoulders and kissed her. Open mouth seeking, hot and hungry, while her tongue was sweeping and bold.

  When her amazing mouth moved lower, nipping and kissing her jaw and her throat, flicking the tip of a pebbled nipple with her tongue before lightly biting, Kellen writhed and let her know how much she loved it.

  An instant later, Dana’s mouth and hands were everywhere. Feverish. Arousing. Demanding. Moving lower, she briefly slipped a finger inside Kellen and then her tongue replaced her finger, stroking her, her mouth open and feasting, while her hands cupped Kellen’s buttocks, holding her in place.

  A feral groan escaped Kellen. “God, I love when you do that to me.” She arched her back, pressing her head against the bed and her pelvis against Dana’s mouth, asking for more. Demanding more. She was insatiable. Determined to lose herself in Dana and equally determined to bring Dana with her.

  She heard a low keening sound in the stillness of the room and recognized it as her voice. Her unarticulated moans of passion. But further sounds became strangled in her throat as Dana sent her free-falling over the edge.

  She was dimly aware of Dana’s arms tightening around her, holding her as the next wave hit. Then she felt the sudden rigidity and trembling in Dana’s body as she joined her in release. Kellen welcomed her with her arms, her body, her heart, and her soul. With the last of her strength she called out Dana’s name. And then everything receded into a velvety blackness.

  *

  Sated and floating on a soft cloud of lassitude, Dana lay on her back, waiting for her breathing to return to normal and the world to slip back onto its axis.

  She assumed Kellen had fallen asleep. Her body was still. Her eyes were closed. And her face was surprisingly tranquil with a small, almost dreamy smile, while her silky dark hair was damp with sweat and plastered against her forehead.

  Watching her, Dana felt something tighten in her chest. She loved her passion. Loved her taste. Loved the strangled, desperate sounds she made and how she called out her name when they made love. Loved her—beyond anything she might have imagined.

  She lay motionless, transfixed, as a deep, heavy heat coiled through her. Did she still want her? God, yes.

  She could feel the aching need building once again. But she couldn’t stop staring at the picture Kellen made lying there. Her lips were swollen from Dana’s kisses. Her skin was flushed from her touch. Her breathing was slow and deep. Slowly, carefully, she rose on one elbow, leaned over, and gently kissed her forehead, then tenderly kissed Kellen’s lips, lightly tasting them.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  She had just settled back on the bed facing Kellen and closed her eyes when she felt Kellen shift beside her. Felt her warmth draw nearer, followed by the pleasure of her lips as they skimmed along her jaw, while her hands roamed the length of her back and down to her hips. Dana made a humming sound of approval and offered her mouth as they shifted on the bed, a tangle of limbs.

  Kellen’s taste, hot and wild, infused her mouth and stirred her as it always did, made her want more than she’d known there was to have. She opened for her, both invitation and demand. In response, Kellen’s tongue dipped, tasted, savored, while her long, skilled fingers began arousing her mercilessly until she was mad for more.

  Incapable of thought, Dana attempted to pull her closer still. Kellen immediately stilled, then took Dana’s hands and placed them over her head. “Don’t move,” she murmured.

  It was unquestionably an order, but unable to refuse Kellen anything, Dana did as asked. And then Kellen opened her even more and took it all. Lingering in all the tender places, the hidden places, the secret places. Her hands caressing Dana as her mouth tasted, hovered, tasted again. Unraveling her in a loving that was both passionate and tender.

  “Do you want me, Dana?” Kellen’s voice was smoky, intimate. Demanding an answer.

  “Yes,” she whispered. There could be no other answer. “Oh God, yes.”

  “How?” Kellen murmured as she continued to stroke hot, delicate skin. “Gentle? Hard? Fast? Slow? Tell me what you want, Dana.”

  “All of the above. I want you—in every way possible.”

  An instant later, Dana was unable to do anything but feel, as she was captured by the searing demands of Kellen’s mouth and the world came apart around her. Kellen tasted her lips, feasted on the hollow of her throat, and on her breasts. Eyes open, wild and blind with a hunger she didn’t fully understand, Dana felt consumed as Kellen lingered, touched, tasted, and caressed, learning and memorizing the very pulse of life beating within Dana as she slowly moved down her body.

  Nearly drowning in waves of pleasure, Dana writhed while Kellen moved in calculated slowness. Never wavering, she continued to explore. Taking, demanding, giving, worshipping. Desperate for release, Dana gasped for air. And then Kellen drove her over the top on a wave of rapture and she came until she couldn’t even draw a breath to whisper Kellen’s name.

  Urgency mellowed into tenderness.

  Kellen reached out a strong arm and drew her closer. Caressed her before putting her hand under her chin and kissing her slowly. Gently. Thoroughly. And then she softly murmured, “I love you too.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Dawn was still an hour away.

  In the soft light, Kellen focused on tuning out the familiar sound of the helicopter’s rotor as Sam lifted off, taking a couple of FBI agents with her. She watched the chopper briefly hold at one hundred feet and then begin the search pattern Grant had mapped out, knowing that in addition to providing the spotters with a bird’s-eye view, they’d be using the three new cameras the FBI had installed: two standard cameras equipped with powerful zoom lenses, and a thermal-imaging camera, which would enable them to detect heat signatures.

  This was not how she’d wanted today to start. But then she’d all but forgotten she’d agreed to do this—to be out tramping through the woods in the chilly pre-dawn air with Grant instead of being cuddled under a duvet, making love with a beautiful woman. What was worse, although Bogart wasn’t alerting, apprehension prickled along her skin and it felt as if even the forest was holding its breath.

  Kellen suppressed her impatience and remained motionless in the shadows a minute longer. Finally, the helicopter moved on and the silence returned.

  Slowly she allowed her gaze to move around, looking for signs in the shadows. She hunched down lower and concentrated, tried to detect anything out of the ordinary, any visible disturbance indicating someone had come this way. Scrapes, broken branches, or marks of any kind.

  But it was hard to still her mind when the skin between her shoulder blades itched as if Broussard had painted a target on her. She could feel him, like a wolf stalking his prey. He was close, but not close enough. Not yet.

  She retraced her steps, examined the ground again, looking at the snow more closely. Time seemed to slow down and finally she detected what she’d been looking for. What she’d known she’d eventually find. Faint shadowed shapes leading into the bowels of the forest, marking someone’s passage. “He’s been here—sometime after last night’s snowfall.”

 
Grant came up and stood beside her, staring at the snow-covered ground. “I don’t see anything. How can you tell?”

  Kellen pointed to a spot. “The snow here’s been disturbed where he brushed it to cover the tracks left behind by his snow shoes. It has to be Broussard. With your sharpshooters maintaining watch along the path, only someone with his skill could have gotten this close and not given himself away. And if it was anyone else, they wouldn’t have bothered covering their tracks.”

  Grant didn’t say anything but drew his weapon, sweeping it around in a wide arc.

  She frowned. “What the hell, Grant?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Would this be a bad time for me to tell you I’m not a big fan of having guns that close to me?” Aware he was weighing her words, Kellen remained still and waited.

  He stared at her for a few seconds, then slowly shook his head. “You’re something else, you really are. Do I need to remind you there’s a man out here somewhere who wants to kill you? And do I have to remind you the reason I’m here is because it’s my job to protect you? That I promised Senator Parker I’d look after you?”

  Angry, feeling cornered by life, something tightened in Kellen’s chest. She knew there were things from her time on the street that would never leave her. Not completely. Like her innate distrust of authority.

  Grant’s words had her squaring her shoulders, folding her arms across her chest, and lifting her chin as she turned to face him. “I can look after myself.”

  “Kellen,” he responded softly, “I don’t doubt that. In fact, if anyone can, my money’s on you. But this guy Broussard? He’s damn good. He’s proven it time and time again by having already killed too many people, and he’s made it clear he’s coming after you. You’re the only target that really matters to him now. The rest were practice so he could come back and correct his failure.”

  She licked her lips. “Are you trying to frighten me?”

  “No…well, maybe. Maybe I want you scared enough that you won’t take any unnecessary chances. Mostly I’m just trying to lay out the facts for you to see. And those facts include me telling you I’m not letting Broussard come close to you. Not on my watch.”

  His words reminded Kellen of something she had learned a long time ago. Life wasn’t fair or unfair. It was simply surprising.

  Sometimes, like her parents, the surprises could be breathtakingly cruel. Other times, like being with Dana, they could be simply breathtaking. As for having a federal agent protecting a former homeless kid? She didn’t know the answer to that just yet, but as she watched Grant, the corners of her lips twitched. “You’re telling me I have to put up with your gun, aren’t you?”

  “You got it in one.” Grant smiled faintly. “If it helps, I’ll try to keep it out of sight as much as possible when you’re around. But if Broussard’s nearby, I want an opportunity to level the playing field. So it’s going to be visible.”

  “Then I guess I shouldn’t bother to remind you he uses a high-powered rifle”—it took all Kellen had to keep her grin to a minimum—“and if he has us in his sights, we’re both dead and there’s nothing you and that little gun you’re holding can do about it.”

  Grant stared at the gun in his hand a moment longer, then started to laugh. “Well, hell,” he said and conceded the point.

  “Actually,” Kellen murmured thoughtfully, “that begs a different question. The odds are high Broussard has us in his sights at this very moment. So tell me, Special Agent Grant, why are we being played with? Why doesn’t he finish me off here and now in a single merciful stroke?”

  “I asked that very question last night when I was talking to the behavioral analysts in Quantico. They’re not sure, but they think maybe he wants to make one final grand gesture.”

  “You mean during the clinic celebration, don’t you? With all those politicians and dignitaries on hand.”

  Grant nodded. “We’re down to the wire. And the experts have concluded your little celebration will undoubtedly bring Broussard out so he can finish what he started.”

  Kellen thought about that for a minute or two. “Do your experts think he’ll hurt anyone else? Or just me?”

  “They aren’t sure.”

  “That’s not a very good answer. What do your years of experience—what does your gut instinct tell you?”

  Grant sighed. “I’m sorry, Kellen. I honestly don’t know.”

  “Then why don’t we let him find me? And in doing so, make sure no one else is close enough to get hurt?”

  “Kellen…”

  They stared at each other in silent contemplation. And then, without saying another word, Grant put his weapon back in its holster and they resumed checking the perimeter of the property.

  While Kellen knew they were both looking for signs that might tell them where Broussard had been and where he could be hiding, she understood Grant was also looking for potential placements for his team. Places that would afford the best lines of sight on every approach that led to the clinic. They just needed to be ready for him.

  They needed to be ready for anything.

  Thinking about that made Kellen realize something else. Nearly twenty years ago, her father had made her a victim. At the time, she’d been too young, too inexperienced, too trusting to prevent what had happened. None of those words could be used to describe her anymore. This time around, she wasn’t about to let Broussard or anyone else make her a victim, which meant she had to push back fear and be ready and willing to do whatever it took to bring this nightmare to a close.

  She wanted—no, she needed to move forward again.

  That knowledge left her with a heady sensation of being freed from a cage. Able to move in a breathtakingly beautiful direction with a woman who didn’t care where she had been or who she had been in the past. She simply loved her for who she was.

  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and retreated, as she did when in crisis, to a quiet place inside her where she could listen to her heart and know what to do. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long. “Um…Grant?”

  *

  Dana leaned against the kitchen counter, took her first sip of coffee, and grimaced.

  This was not how she’d imagined the day beginning. But after spending the night spooned against Kellen, holding her tight and relishing her words of love, she’d awoken to find herself alone in bed. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she’d found the sheets cool to the touch, telling her Kellen had been gone for quite some time.

  She’d tried but couldn’t fall back to sleep with the bed beside her painfully empty. For a few sweet moments, she tried floating on a memory that made her forget everything else.

  Tell me what you want, Dana.

  I want you—in every way possible.

  But then she blinked and Kellen was still gone.

  She had a vague recollection of hearing someone knocking on the front door. Or at least she thought she did. She could even picture Kellen getting up to check while she had drifted back to sleep, fully expecting Kellen to come back to bed.

  Clearly, that hadn’t been the case.

  Releasing a sigh, Dana closed her eyes, not certain what had happened, even more uncertain about what would happen next. But as she listened to the silence, she could only hope something other than fear had driven Kellen from her bed.

  One thing at a time.

  She opened her eyes and rolled from the bed. She took a deep breath, inhaling the seductive pull of their mixed scents—her own and Kellen’s—before leaving them behind. Forced to contend with a coffeemaker that seemed to cooperate with only Kellen’s programming, she swore softly after taking another sip of what she’d produced and dumped the contents from her cup into the sink.

  Stripping out of her pajamas, Dana headed for a hot shower and tried to rub a combination of tension and fatigue from her neck before going back into the bedroom and getting dressed for the day. All the while pondering both the wonder and absurdity of life.

  Last night,
Kellen had said she loved her.

  It hadn’t come as a surprise. In her heart, Dana had known for some time how Kellen felt about her. It showed in her every look and every touch. She just didn’t realize how much she had wanted to hear the words until that moment. And hearing them…hearing her say the words for the first time, that had meant everything. It also made it so much more difficult to accept she was nowhere to be found this morning.

  The challenge was that she could be anywhere.

  She could be taking Bogart for a run…or debriefing a team after a callout…or dealing with Grant and the FBI’s security plans for the celebration…or terrified by what she’d revealed and gone walkabout.

  The last possibility left Dana shaken. Could that be what happened?

  She had long ago accepted Kellen came with issues that made her own pale by comparison. Kellen was uncomfortable in crowds, was frequently haunted by nightmares, and remained fearful of her past—and her parents—catching up to her. Hell, Dana didn’t even know her birth name.

  But the truth was she didn’t care. Because somewhere between leaving New York and now, she’d found exactly what she had always hoped to find. An intelligent, passionate, and loving woman with whom she could talk, laugh and cry, and share her life. A place where she could sink permanent roots. A job that satisfied her professionally. And a chosen family to call her own.

  She was in love with Kellen and had resolved to give her the time and space she needed to come to terms with having someone—having Dana—in her life.

  Perhaps she had given her too much room.

  Determined to deal with the situation directly, she left the cabin. She first checked on the clinic, but Liz had everything under control. Her next stop was the office by way of the gym. Kellen was nowhere to be seen, but last-minute preparations for the gala were clearly well in hand.