An Ideal Boyfriend

by Mette Ivie Harrison

  School was over by then, so I headed back to my dorm room, thinking that I needed to sit down and make a plan. It was only when I opened my door that I remembered my parents were there. They had finished shopping, it seemed, and were waiting for me. So was Laura Chevely, and she looked awfully cozy with them.

  What stories Laura Chevely was going to tell about my parents now, I shuddered to think. I should never have let them stay with me in my dorm room. And I should have warned them about Laura Chevely in advance.

  “Trudy!” Mom said. “I’m so glad you’re here. Your friend Laura here was just looking for you. I told her I was sure you would be along soon enough.”

  “Hi, Laura,” I said warily. My friend?

  “You look a little pale,” said Laura. “Anything wrong?”

  “No, everything’s fine.” Whatever she was doing here, I was not going to give her the satisfaction.

  “You never said anything about Laura in your emails,” said Mom. “Only about Rob. I wondered if you didn’t have any girlfriends here. I was worried about that. Competition at private schools like this can be so difficult. I’m so glad you have a support like Laura.”

  What in the world had Laura told them about us? “Yeah, support like Laura,” I said sarcastically. “How could I survive without that?”

  “Laura said that she was going to take you out shopping this afternoon, but I talked her out of it. I thought we could all spend some time together instead.” Mom grinned. She’d always wanted more children, especially daughters.

  But I could imagine how shopping with my mom and Laura Chevely might go, and it was not a pretty picture. If I had the time, I’d introduce Mabel and Arlee to my parents, but I didn’t right now.

  “Um, I really have a lot of homework I have to do tonight,” I said. I was hoping to get my parents to head to a hotel so I could focus on the missing experiment. “I thought I would go to the library until late. I’m sure you two don’t want to sit around waiting for me and it would be more convenient for you to be closer to town.” I glanced at Laura. Of course she wasn’t about to let me leave so easily.

  “But your parents have come so far,” she said. “They don’t want to stay in a hotel while you’re here. I’m sure that if you told the school your parents were in town, they’d give you a couple of days off school and then you wouldn’t have to worry about homework.”

  “Well, uh—” I said.

  “If you don’t want us here,” Mom said faintly.

  “It’s not that,” I said. “I just—”

  “Maybe I can help you with your homework. Two heads make light work,” said Laura cheerfully.

  “I don’t think so,” I said.

  “But isn’t she a senior? I bet she’s taken all your classes already,” Mom pointed out.

  “I know, but I like to do things myself,” I said, gritting my teeth.

  “Maybe you could at least show your parents the library on your way,” said Laura. She turned to Mom. “It’s a lovely place. You should see how many books they have there. In fact, I could give you a tour myself. I don’t have any homework tonight.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. For so many, many reasons.

  “I think it sounds lovely,” said Mom. “But if you really don’t want us to go with you, we could stay here.”

  “How about you two go to a hotel and we meet for breakfast tomorrow before school? Then I can go see if I can take the whole day off to spend with you.” Surely I’d have figured out what was wrong with Art and Rob by then.

  “All right, if that’s what you want,” said Mom. “We’ll let you get to your homework.” She picked up her purse. Her face looked a little pinched.

  “If we’re not going to see you again, I’d like to hear more about how you met,” Dad said to Laura. “And we’ll go right after that.” Dad pulled Mom’s purse away from her and put it back on the floor.

  “OK,” I said. I sat down on the couch and tried to act normal, but I wanted nothing more than to leave and see my parents leave, too. I needed to find Rob and Art and I needed to get away from Laura Chevely as soon as possible. She was poison.

  “So, how did you two meet?” asked Mom. “Did you have a class together?”

  “Yes,” said Laura at the same time that I said, “No.”

  Mom and Dad looked at us, and then at each other.

  “I mean—” I started.

  “She means that we had a class together, but that isn’t really how we got to know each other. Is it, Trudy?” said Laura.

  I shrugged. She was the one pretending we were friends. Let her come up with the lies.

  “We really got to know each other when my boyfriend fell in love with her,” said Laura.

  I gave a little gasp at that. Who knew that Laura Chevely would tell the truth? I guess she can do that when it has the effect she wants, which is embarrassing me.

  “When your boyfriend fell in love with her? Who was that?” asked Dad.

  Mom had a hand on his arm like she was trying to steer him away from the topic. It didn’t work.

  “Rob Chiltern,” said Laura, before I could think of something else to say.

  “This Rob of yours? Your current boyfriend?” said Dad, looking at me with obvious disapproval.

  “It’s not how it sounds,” I said, my hands twisted together. How was I ever going to get out of here now?

  “You didn’t steal her boyfriend, did you, Trudy?” asked Mom.

  “You can’t steal a boyfriend who doesn’t want to be stolen,” said Laura, pretending to be nice about it. “Besides, Rob and I had been drifting apart for months before that. I admit, I was mad at first, but then I got to know Trudy better and realized we had a lot in common. More than just the same boyfriend.” She giggled, and the sound brought up my hackles.

  “Rob broke up with her before he started dating me,” I pointed out.

  “By about ten minutes,” said Laura. “Everyone knew that she was the reason.”

  “Well, at least it seems he has good taste,” said Mom, trying to make light of it. “If he dated both of you.”

  “We should talk about something else,” I suggested.

  “Like Rob’s parents?” said Laura. “I’ve been giving tips to Trudy on how to get them to like her. They always got along well with me.”

  I flushed.

  “They don’t get along with Trudy? You never said anything about that, honey. I thought they liked you because you were so lucky,” said Dad. I could see he was getting angry now.

  “There’s luck and then there’s luck,” said Laura.

  “What does that mean?” asked Mom.

  “It means that Rob’s parents only consider it real luck if it’s old luck,” said Laura helpfully.

  “So they’re snobs,” said Mom.

  I laughed at that, relieved. Mom knew how to make anything seem smaller and more easily overcome.

  “Exactly,” said Laura.

  “Trudy will win them over in time, then. I have no doubt of that. Trudy is so easy to love, isn’t she, Kent?” said Mom, patting my hand.

  I took a deep breath.

  “Speaking of Rob, did you ever find him today?” asked Laura, looking at me. “Or hear what happened to him? I hope he wasn’t too ill.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine,” I said. I was sure that she knew exactly how he was, far better than I did.

  “Oh, is your Rob sick? What can we do to help?” asked Mom.

  “Maybe he’d rather we stay away,” said Dad grumpily. “Might ruin his luck when he needs it most.”

  “He’s not sick,” I said impatiently. “He’s just not in his room.”

  “Then where is he?” asked Laura. “If he wasn’t at school?”

  “Look, I don’t want to talk about Rob right now,” I said. Not while Laura was right here, listening in. Or was I thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe if Laura was the one who had done this, Laura was the one I should stick by.

  “A little
touchy, are you?” said Laura. “Rob’s not done anything to make you jealous, has he? Anything to make you think he’s interested in someone else? Teenage boys can be so fickle.”

  “Oh, dear,” said Mom.

  “That’s not it at all,” I said. “Rob loves me. I’m sure of that.”

  “But I’m sure Trudy needs to get to the library now,” said Laura. “And I have to get back to my homework, too.”

  “Right,” I said. “Excuse me,” I said to my parents, and followed Laura.

  I caught up to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and she whirled around. “You know something about him, don’t you?” I asked. My neck dripped sweat and I glanced up at my dorm window, hoping my parents didn’t look down. He couldn’t be with her again. He couldn’t.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Laura.

  “Tell me where he is,” I demanded.

  “You’re the one who knows him so well. You should be able to guess where he is, shouldn’t you?” she taunted me.

  “Well, maybe I can guess where he is,” I said. “You’re pathetic, you know that, Laura, still hung up on getting revenge on Rob after all this time? He’s moved on and you’re still looking back. What does that say about you?”

  “Moved on, has he? Maybe you’re not so sure about that. Is your luck what it used to be? Can you be so sure that the best boyfriend in the school is yours still?”

  “Luck isn’t everything, you know,” I said quietly.

  “Isn’t it? Then why are you so worried about me? I will take everything from you, Trudy. Don’t think for a moment I will have any pity.”

  She walked off and I waited a few minutes to follow her again. I didn’t know where Art and Rob were, but I knew that Laura was the key to all of it.

  Chapter 12: Rob

  We got to Art’s basement dorm/lab just before dawn on Thursday morning, but there wasn’t much to see. A few tables turned over. Some sticky stuff on the floor. Art turned the lights on and we looked through every detail we could find. But there was no clue where Laura might have taken everything.

  “I’m calling her,” I said, and pulled out my cell phone.

  Art stopped me with a shake of his head. “Don’t.”

  “Why not?” Was I calling her because I was mad at her or because I felt a little bit of the excitement of the chase that Art felt?

  “She’s not going to tell us anything. It will just be a waste of time. And embarrassing, for us to beg her.”

  Right. And also I didn’t want to talk to her. Not now, when I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt. “But how can we find it otherwise? She could have taken it almost anywhere. She could be hiding it in some storage unit somewhere.”

  “I don’t think so. She’s going to want to give us a chance.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  “Because she’s Laura Chevely and if we didn’t have a chance, she wouldn’t enjoy her victory so much. You think I didn’t learn anything, watching you date her those two years?”

  That was a little scary to me. I guess I never really asked Art’s opinion of Laura. “Well, she always did like to win,” I said.

  In a way, this reminded me of my dad. He liked to beat me at chess, taunting me the whole time about which moves I should be making and giving me reasons that made sense. When I finally learned not to listen to him, and to just play my own instincts, I did a lot better.

  “So, where would she think that we would think that she would take it?” said Art.

  My mind hurt. “Hey, Art, just one favor to ask, OK? Once we find the stuff, would you let me use it myself?”

  “All right. If we’ve got time, you can have some,” said Art. “As long as there aren’t sirens or anything blaring.”

  I nodded. “Thanks.”

  When Art and I met, we were in seventh grade and it was just after the hunting trip that made me decide to look for friends who had luck. Art had plenty, and I did everything I could to make him like me. I pretended to like everything he did, the same bands, the same TV shows.

  Secretly, I had been so envious of him I would go home and throw darts at a picture I made of him in my room. Then I would rip up the picture and put away the dart board so he wouldn’t see anything when he came over.

  But gradually, I started to like him for himself. He was smart and he always seemed to get what he wanted, but he listened to me complain about my parents and he made fun of people who had luck with me. Somehow, things had changed and he stopped being my friend for all the wrong reasons and started being my friend for all the right ones.

  “What do you think about the gym at school?” asked Art.

  “Huh? Oh, your lab equipment? Well, it’s big enough,” I said. “And it would be plenty publically humiliating.”

  “But she hates sports,” said Art.

  “Maybe the debate room?” I asked.

  Art nodded. “I can’t think of anything better at the moment. So let’s try it.”

  We hurried over to St. James. At 5 a.m., it wasn’t easy to get in. We wandered around the school until we found an open window on the second floor. Then I got to stand on Art’s shoulders (because I’m a half inch shorter than he is) and climb through the window. I think I scraped off about ten pounds doing it. All muscle, because that’s what happens when you’re unlucky. The muscle goes first.

  I went downstairs, let Art in one of the non-alarmed secret doors that the teachers can come in and out of, and we went to the debate room.

  There was a big sign in it that said, “Nice try, suckers!” It had Laura’s signature lips in ink at the bottom, too.

  “I knew that was too easy,” I said. It seemed like my bad luck was getting the better of us. Maybe Art would be better off doing this on his own. “She is really having fun with this, isn’t she?”

  Art waved at the sign. “She knew we would come here. She’s saying we’re on our way. So we have to keep playing the game.”

  I stared at him. It had been too long since anyone as smart or as lucky as he was really challenged him, I guess.

  He rubbed his hands together. “This is getting really interesting now. Where else do we think she might have put it?”

  “In a sewer drain? In a ditch somewhere off the road? In a mine field?”

  “Hmm,” said Art. “Mine field—sounds like Laura.”

  I choked. “Uh, art, I don’t think there are any mine fields around here.”

  “No, but there might be something like a mine field,” said Art. “Something that blows up and spews blood everywhere?”

  I cringed.

  “Paint ball,” said Art.

  “Oh. Doesn’t seem her style, really.” She’d always complained when Art and I had gone off to play paint ball when she and I were dating.

  “I think it’s exactly her style. She’s definitely a killer behind those pretty eyes,” said Art, grinning.

  I didn’t argue with him.

  We headed off to the nearest paint ball place. We had to break in again, this time with Art’s mad code breaking skills. He sat in front of a number key pad for about twenty minutes trying random combinations one after another. I had never seen his fingers fly so fast before. They had a strange elegance.

  “You ever consider learning to play an instrument?” I asked him.

  “Don’t have the patience for it,” said Art.

  Right.

  The doors opened and in we went. It was dark inside, but then we saw the red lights like on a runway or something.

  “I have a bad feeling about this,” I said. And then I tripped and fell. I made a strangled sound and Art came back for me. He almost hit me in the face trying to help me get to my feet again.

  “What happened there?” asked Art.

  “I fell,” I said, too tired to think up some excuse for how it was what I wanted to have happen.

  “Well maybe you don’t need to get rid of so much luck, after all,” said Art.

  I felt my heart thump against my ribs.
>
  Art laughed. “Kidding, dude,” he said. He pointed to the neon sign flashing right ahead of us. “You stopped just in time for us to see that.”

  The neon sign said, “Losers Die Here.” There was also a big kissing lips symbol flashing red underneath.

  Laura again. “Where do we go from here?” I asked.

  “We’ve got to think more like Laura,” said Art. “She doesn’t want to make this easy. It’s a test, in a way.” He sat down in front of the sign, and seemed to meditate for a while. Then he stood up. “I think I know where it is.”

  “Where?” I asked him. I had no idea.

  “My dorm,” he said.

  “What?” Had he gone insane? “We were just there, a few hours ago.” I checked my watch. It was nearly seven a.m. now, and school would be starting soon. Someone would notice us missing.

  “That’s why I know it’s there. It’s the last place we would look. And she knows how aggravating it would be to see it there again. Back where we started, no point to anything we did and all that. Doesn’t that sound like Laura’s brand of torture?”

  “I guess,” I said, and we headed back to the lab. Art had the keys to it, so we didn’t have to worry about breaking in. I was sure he was going to be wrong, but I didn’t have any better ideas.

  Then we walked in, and Art turned on the lights.

  Now the room was filled with tables, refrigerators, paper, graphs, and monitors. “Is this it?” I asked.

  “This is it. All of it.” Art fell down on his knees, laughing. “So it was all a joke? We’re going to have a really long day at school now.”

  I wanted to believe that Laura wasn’t that bad, but I wasn’t sure that I did.

  “Think we’re going to be late?” I asked, looking down at my clothes and wondering if I could get away without taking a shower. Would Trudy ask me what had happened? Would we argue again?

  I found a spot on the floor to curl around, just to get a few minutes’ shut-eye. I could hear Art going around the room, checking off everything, humming to himself. And then he stopped.

  I was half asleep, so it took me longer than usual to realize that this was bad news.

  “What?” I asked, shaking myself and trying to sit up.