By Design

by J. A. Armstrong

  “Which one?”

  Dana laughed. “Want to place bets?” she asked.

  “I bet on Candy.”

  Dana handed the glass back to her husband. “You bet on my boss and I bet on your best friend? That’s just wrong. What are we betting?”

  “Okay…if J.D. kisses Candy first, I will take you for drinks at Red Derby.”

  “You in a dive bar?” Dana laughed.

  “Yeah; so what do I get if I am right and Candy makes the first move?”

  “She won’t,” Dana said flatly. Steve pouted. “Fine, I will take you to dinner at whatever politico hot spot you choose.”

  “You hate those places,” he reminded her.

  “You seem confident, so am I.”

  “Wait? How are we going to know?” he asked.

  “I have my sources,” Dana assured him.

  “I hope J.D. doesn’t get crushed,” he said quietly.

  Dana sighed. “Me too.”

  ***

  Jameson recognized many of the faces in the room. Candace had tried to keep her company and introduce her to the crowd, but the senator’s attention was in constant demand and Jameson inevitably lost track of Candace in the crowd. “Kind of boring, isn’t it?” Dana said.

  Jameson shrugged. “It’s fine.”

  “She’s in her study,” Dana said softly. Jameson looked at her friend in confusion. “Sometimes she needs a minute to regroup. She finds her way there every year about this time.” Jameson nodded. “Come on,” Dana grabbed Jameson’s hand.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  Dana nodded toward a door. “Go on.”

  “Dana, you just said she needed to step away.”

  “Yes, I did,” Dana admitted. “I’m not sure you are in that equation.” Jameson looked skeptical. “Trust me, J.D. Go on,” Dana encouraged. Jameson sucked in a nervous breath and walked a few steps to the door. She turned back to Dana for encouragement and received a nod.

  Steven found his wife watching as Jameson entered Candace’s study and closed the door. “Stacking the odds in your favor, huh?”

  Dana shook her head. “I honestly don’t care who wins. I just hope someone does,” she said.

  Steve sighed. “It’s up to them. Come on.”

  ***

  “Candace?” Jameson called across the room. Candace turned and smiled. “You all right?”

  “I’m fine. Just needed to catch my breath,” Candace said. “Sorry, I left you to fend for yourself with the wolves.”

  Jameson laughed. “I’m was out in college. I’ve experienced the pack mentality a few times,” she joked. “You certainly are popular.”

  “That’s a relative term,” Candace said. “Anyone who offers free booze, the ability to network, and decent food can be the star of an evening in this town.”

  Jameson had made her way to Candace and was standing in front of her. “I think you sell yourself short on that one,” she said sincerely.

  “Maybe you give me too much credit,” Candace replied. “Believe me when I tell you, I would just as soon eat chicken wings with you and Pearl.”

  “Mmm,” Jameson pursed her lips.

  “What?”

  “You love this too,” Jameson commented.

  “You think so?”

  “I do. I watched you work that room,” Jameson said affectionately.

  “You watched me?” Candace lifted an eyebrow. Jameson nodded. “Really?” Candace tried to joke.

  “People are drawn to you,” Jameson commented.

  “Because they think I can do something for them.” Jameson shook her head ‘no’. “Yes, Jameson. They are good people, but they are always working; looking for an opening….”

  “They look to you,” Jameson said.

  “I’ve been doing this a while,” Candace replied.

  “Maybe. That’s not the only reason,” Jameson said. Candace struggled to catch her breath as Jameson moved closer. “It’s not just what you do,” she said. “It’s who you are,” Jameson complimented. She looked in Candace’s eyes and instantly lost her heart. “Maybe you just can’t see what they see,” Jameson suggested. “What I see.” Jameson closed the short remaining distance and took Candace’s face in her hands. She could see a hint of apprehension mingling closely with anticipation in the senator’s eyes. She closed the rest of the distance and placed her lips on Candace’s.

  Candace felt Jameson’s lips on hers and closed her eyes in surrender. She wrapped her arms around Jameson’s waist and allowed Jameson to pull her closer. Jameson coaxed Candace’s lips to part and Candace answered the request. Jameson’s kiss was so tender that Candace thought for a moment her heart might break from the connection between them. The kiss continued, softly exploring, unhurried and searching. It was as if Jameson were attempting to speak some truth without any words. When Jameson began to pull back slowly, Candace kept her eyes closed. She felt Jameson’s hands caress her cheeks.

  Candace opened her eyes slowly and looked at Jameson. “Jameson,” she said softly.

  Jameson smiled. “I just wanted you to know,” she said.

  Candace was about to respond when the door opened. “Hey,” Dana called to the pair. She took note of Jameson’s hands as they dropped from Candace’s face. “I’m sorry.”

  Candace moved in front of Jameson. “It’s all right, Dana.”

  “Vice President Miller just arrived,” Dana explained.

  Candace nodded. She looked back at Jameson apologetically. Jameson offered her an understanding smile. “Go.”

  “I…”

  “I’ll see you later,” Jameson promised.

  Candace nodded again and walked past Dana in the doorway. Jameson closed her eyes, already missing the older woman’s presence. “I’m sorry,” Dana said sincerely.

  Jameson opened her eyes and smiled. “It’s okay. I just needed her to know.”

  ***

  “Hey,” Candace caught up to Jameson. Jameson smiled. “You are leaving with the lovebirds?” she asked kiddingly.

  “Looks like it,” Jameson said.

  Candace tried unsuccessfully to smile. She desperately wanted to say something meaningful to Jameson. Emotions and questions were running through her at such an overwhelming pace; she thought that she might drown in them. She looked up at Jameson helplessly. “When are you headed home?” she finally asked.

  “Monday,” Jameson answered. “When are you leaving for Marianne’s?”

  “Monday morning.”

  Jameson forced a small smile. She looked ahead to Steven as he opened the car door for Dana. “Looks like my chariot is waiting.” Candace smiled weakly. “Merry Christmas, Candace,” Jameson said with a quick kiss to the senator’s cheek.

  “Jameson?” Candace reached out for the younger woman’s arm. Jameson stopped. Candace lost her courage. “Merry Christmas.” Jameson winked and headed for the car. Candace watched her climb into the backseat and waved to the threesome as Steven hopped into the driver’s seat and shut the door. She watched from the doorway for a moment, wishing she could follow rather than return to the guests that waited for her inside. Why didn’t she say something; anything? Candace wrapped her arms around herself to stave off the December chill. She walked back to the door with one final glance down the street. With a deep sigh, she returned to the world she knew best.

  ***

  Candace mingled for a few minutes. She found herself wandering back toward her study. She walked into the room and covered her face with her hands. She should call Jameson and say something. “What are you going to say, Candy?” she chuckled to herself. “You know this is a bad idea.”

  “Now, what on earth is the host hiding from?” a low voice beckoned.

  Candace turned around and painted on a contrived smile. “Rachel,” she greeted the woman.

  Rachel Hutton had been a partner in Candace’s ex-husband’s law firm. She was six years younger than Candace, tall, slender, blonde, and nothing short of aggressive both in and out
of the courtroom. “Bored?” Rachel asked.

  “I wouldn’t say that,” Candace answered.

  Rachel took a step closer. “It’s never easy to endure these things alone,” she said seductively.

  Candace sighed. This situation had the potential to devolve into an uncomfortable mess quickly. “I manage,” she said lightly.

  “Why only manage?” Rachel asked suggestively.

  ***

  “Oh shit!” Dana sighed in frustration.

  “What’s wrong?” Steven asked.

  “I forgot my damn handbag.”

  Steven sighed through a chuckle. “I’ll turn around.”

  “On with the shoes,” Dana groaned.

  “I’ll run in and get it,” Jameson offered.

  Dana turned in her seat. “J.D., you don’t have to….unless, of course, there is some reason you want to.”

  Jameson just shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. She sat silently in the backseat listening to her friends bantering in the front. They had been together since college, and Jameson envied their relationship. They had just seemed to fit instantly. Many of their friends predicted that the real world would signal the end of Dana and Steve’s honeymoon. Fourteen years and two children later, the pair seemed as happy with each other as they had been at twenty-one.

  Jameson looked at the townhouse as it came into view and readied herself. Perhaps, Dana’s handbag was the excuse she needed to say what she had meant to say to Candace. She opened the door and peered back inside. “Do you know where you left it?”

  “Yeah, I set it on the table right outside Candy’s study when I said goodbye to the vice president; unless someone moved it.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Jameson promised.

  “Take your time,” Dana said. “We’ll find something to do,” she laughed. Jameson rolled her eyes and shut her door. Dana watched her go.

  “You left it there on purpose; didn’t you?” Steven asked.

  “Me?” Dana gasped in offense. “I can’t believe you would think that.”

  Steven laughed. “You watched too much Spin City,” he said. “And, read too many romance novels. You should have put that on your resume to warn Candy,” he told his wife.

  “Watch it Russo or you’ll be sleeping on the senator’s couch.”

  ***

  Jameson made her way through the thinning crowd until she reached the short hallway that led to Candace’s office. She spotted Dana’s handbag and made her way to retrieve it when she heard voices.

  “Candy,” Rachel implored the senator.

  Jameson could not resist the urge to peek inside the study. She felt her heart drop rapidly in her chest when the tall blonde woman pulled Candace to her. The woman’s hands wrapped around Candace’s waist tightly. Jameson looked to the ceiling and then closed her eyes in an attempt to banish the image. She turned quickly on her heels and left.

  “Rachel,” Candace started to pull away.

  “We could be so good together,” Rachel whispered.

  Candace closed her eyes for a moment. She had made this mistake once; lost her senses after one too many glasses of wine and led Rachel to her bedroom. It had been nothing more than a one night stand for Candace. Rachel continued to see it as a potential opening for more. Candace finally pulled away more forcefully. “Stop,” she said.

  “I don’t understand you,” Rachel said. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy…”

  “I never said I didn’t find you attractive,” Candace admitted. “I’m not in love with you.”

  “Don’t you think we are getting a little old for that kind of fanciful thinking?” Rachel asked.

  Candace shook her head. Did she? She thought for a moment. The singular image that played in her mind was Jameson. “Maybe,” Candace finally answered. “Maybe it is fanciful. That doesn’t make it impossible.”

  Rachel’s sweet expression did little to conceal her displeasure at Candace’s assertion. “Candy, are you looking to martyr yourself as the Queen of Broken Hearts?” she asked. Candace’s gaze grew petulant. “Love is for the young and fool hearted.”

  “And, what would you suggest in its place?” Candy wondered.

  “The three A’s; attraction, acceptance, and alliance.”

  Candace nodded. “You certainly picked the right town to pursue that equation. I think you might find that theory is flawed,” Candace suggested. She went on to explain. “You left out a few A’s; arrogance, apathy, and animosity; to name a few.”

  Rachel threw her hands in the air. “You are impossible.”

  “And, you are relentless,” Candace said with a wink.

  “Who is she?” Rachel asked. Candace just smiled. “Oh, so there is someone,” Rachel teased. Candace lifted both brows and shrugged. “Well, now that you’ve broken my heart….”

  “Didn’t you sell that old thing years ago?” Candace poked.

  “Some of us do have sense; you know?” Rachel returned.

  “Come on, I’ll buy you a free drink,” Candace offered.

  “Chivalrous to the end,” Rachel said.

  “Always,” Candace winked.

  ***

  “J.D. just stay,” Dana said.

  “No, I have a lot to do. I’m just going to rent a car and drive home.”

  “What happened last night?” Dana asked.

  “Nothing happened, Dana. There are a lot of new projects I need to look over at the firm; that’s all.”

  The change in Jameson’s mood from reflective to sullen was evident. Dana wondered if Candy had said something to upset Jameson. That seemed unlikely. She couldn’t imagine what had caused Jameson’s apparent need to get away. “J.D., Christmas is Thursday. Why don’t…”

  Jameson set her bag on the bed and faced Dana. “I just need to go.”

  “Call her,” Dana implored her friend. “Whatever happened, and J.D., I know something happened; just call her.”

  Jameson’s downcast glance nearly broke Dana’s heart. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea right now,” she said softly. “Thanks for everything,” Jameson said, reaching to hug her friend. “The drive will be good for me,” she promised.

  Dana watched as Jameson retrieved her bag and started to leave the room. She sighed dramatically, wondering if she should intervene somehow. Steven caught her in the hallway and knew immediately what she was thinking. “Dana, whatever it is; you have to let them work this one out.”

  “I’ve never seen J.D. like that.”

  Steven agreed. “She loves your boss,” he tried to relieve the tension.

  “Yeah.”

  “Maybe Candy just doesn’t feel…”

  Dana shook her head. “Steve….I’ve never seen Candy the way she is with J.D.”

  “Jessica?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “So, maybe she just…”

  “Is terrified?” Dana suggested.

  “Candy; terrified?” he scoffed at his wife’s idea.

  Dana turned and looked at him. “Yes, terrified. You know what that whole thing did to her.”

  “Of J.D.?” he asked in disbelief.

  “No, of what she feels for J.D. and what that means. Maybe I should call…”

  “No. This is between the two of them, Dana. It’s not a story you need to spin. It’s their story to write. Have a little faith in them. They’ll figure it out.”

  “What makes you so sure?” she asked doubtfully.

  “I’ve never known either of them to back down from a challenge,” he said.

  Dana snickered at the observation. “Well, that’s true,” she said.

  “Come on, we’ve got some alone time now before the kids come home.”

  “Looking to take advantage of your best friend’s misfortune?” she asked.

  “No, just looking to take advantage of my wife.”

  Dana laughed and gave into her husband’s kiss. “Remind me to thank, J.D.”

  Chapter Nine: What I Should Have Said


  Candace set her phone on the table and put her face in her hands. “Mom?” Michelle called to her quietly. Candace did not move. Michelle sat down beside her mother and put a hand on her back. “What’s wrong?” she asked. When Candace looked up, Michelle was startled by the tears in her mother’s eyes. “Mom?” Candace just closed her eyes and shook her head. Michelle sighed. “What happened?”

  “I really don’t know,” Candace finally answered.

  “J.D.?” Michelle guessed. Candace nodded. “Did you have an argument over something?”

  Candace laughed nervously. “Not exactly.”

  “Okay?”

  “She kissed me.”

  Michelle was puzzled. “And, that is a bad thing?”

  “I don’t know,” Candace answered truthfully.

  “Did you kiss her back?” Michelle asked curiously. Candace looked at her daughter indignantly. “Okay….Well, what then? She’s a bad kisser?” Michelle was stumped.

  “No,” Candace laughed nervously.

  “Okay; so she’s a good kisser?”

  “Shell!”

  “I guess I don’t understand what the problem is,” Michelle admitted. “What happened next?”

  “I got called away,” Candace said. Michelle nodded and waited for her mother to continue. Candace sighed heavily and got up from her chair. “And, I didn’t say anything,” she admitted in frustration.

  Michelle watched her mother closely. Candace covered her eyes and massaged them wearily. “What did you want to say?” Michelle asked cautiously. Candace closed her eyes, took a deep breath, released it slowly and looked to her daughter helplessly. Michelle smiled. “So, why didn’t you tell her?” she asked her mother. Candace shook her head. She felt an enormous sense of self-loathing. “Mom,” Michelle made her way to her mother. “You can still tell her; you know?”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Candace said.

  “Just call her.”

  “I tried. She hasn’t returned any of my calls.”

  Michelle offered her mother a compassionate smile. “So? Why are you here?” Candace was stunned by the question. “Marianne will forgive you....eventually,” Michelle giggled. “You can sulk and worry here or go see J.D. and find a way to be happy.”