The Affair

by Amanda Brooke

  ‘No!’ she said. ‘I can’t.’

  ‘But you want to. I know you, Vikki, you still love me. There’s no one else, I swear. There never was and never could be. You have to believe that.’

  Freya’s voice grew louder as she stomped up the stairs singing about rainbows. ‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘I need some space, Rob, and if you do love me, then you can at least give me that.’

  Rob started to say something else but Vikki cut off the call.

  When Nina stepped into the house, her ears were trained for the slightest sound coming from upstairs.

  ‘Wow, that went well,’ Liam said. He had followed her into the house and now rested his back against the front door in an attempt to keep out the demons that were constantly on the family’s tail.

  ‘Scarlett! Are you home?’

  When no answer came, Nina yelled again, only louder.

  A door opened upstairs. ‘Where else would I be!’

  The door slammed. Nina relaxed.

  It was the first time she had left Scarlett on her own, but taking her out with them hadn’t been an option. She had relied on the ongoing police investigation to be enough of a deterrent to keep Scarlett from contacting Rob and risking exposure. Even so, Nina had been a tiny bit relieved when Eva’s parents had kicked them out of the house so quickly.

  ‘I need a drink,’ she said, and went straight to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine that had been cooling in the fridge for her return. Turning to Liam, she added, ‘Fancy joining me?’

  ‘I’d better not. I was thinking of going back to school tomorrow. I’ve already missed a week and I don’t want to fall too far behind.’

  ‘Of course not. What was I thinking? And what would the McEldrys say? Not only am I a terrible mother with two delinquent children, now I’m plying them with drink!’

  ‘They were angry, Mum, and it’s natural for them to be upset. Up until today, I think they really respected you, looking after a family and a business pretty much on your own. Even with everything that’s gone on with Scarlett, they never once blamed you.’

  ‘At least Eva’s told them. One less secret to contend with.’

  Eva had waited until the weekend to tell her parents, and her mum had been in tears when she had phoned Nina to arrange a family conference on Sunday evening at the McEldry house.

  It was clear from the moment they arrived that Eva’s parents had assumed that Nina would be opposed to Eva having the baby as much as they were, and up until that point, she had. Eva had been instructed to stay in her bedroom and wasn’t even afforded the opportunity to take part in the discussion. When Liam had the effrontery to complain, he was shouted down by Eva’s dad. The only item on the McEldrys’ agenda was agreement to withdraw all support from Eva and Liam should they persist with their family plan; and by support, they had meant everything, including a roof over their heads. They were intent on limiting Eva’s options to just one: a termination.

  ‘I don’t want you to think I agree with what you’re doing, Liam,’ Nina said, while pouring a large glass of wine. She took a gulp before adding, ‘I think you’re both too young and, with the best will in the world, this baby is going to limit your prospects for the future. It might be that the two of you can build a happy life together, but having a baby now will make that less likely, not more.’

  ‘So you agree with Eva’s parents? But you said—’

  ‘I disagree completely and utterly with the way they’re going about it. This is Eva’s choice. It’s her body and no one should be manipulating her into doing something she doesn’t want to,’ Nina said. She could hear her voice rising and her emotions along with them.

  ‘Is this still about Eva?’ Liam asked.

  He was leaning against the kitchen counter with his hands in his pockets. He had surprised her time and again over the last week by how quickly he had matured. Her unwashed and ungainly son who never left his room had transformed into a young man who had the insight to see into her soul.

  ‘She’s still a child, Liam, but that doesn’t mean she’s not old enough to understand the consequences of her actions. There’s a choice to be made, and while I won’t change my mind on what I think that choice should be, I accept that she’s the one to make it.’

  ‘Talking about me again?’

  Scarlett had appeared in the doorway. Her time in the house alone had not been wasted and she had whiled away the last hour primping and preening herself. After almost a week without makeup, Scarlett had spent time on a look that was subtle and understated, apart from the red lipstick, which made her pale skin look ghoulish.

  ‘This may come as a surprise to you, Scarlett, but you’re not always the centre of attention.’

  ‘Oh no, what am I going to do now? Maybe I’ll have to make up some more lies.’ She adopted a sarcastic ‘shock-horror’ face, which made Liam turn away in disgust.

  ‘So what are you saying?’ Nina asked. ‘That this whole mess has been nothing more than your way of getting attention?’

  ‘I could do without your kind of attention, thanks.’

  Nina held on tightly to the glass of wine in her hand and resisted the urge to knock it back. She had been making a conscious effort to be civil to Scarlett, but any conversation they had always reverted to Rob Swift, and until Scarlett told the truth and guaranteed that man was locked away for good, Nina couldn’t let go of her anger.

  ‘Oh, that’s right,’ Nina said, ‘you don’t need me interested in you when you have so many other people lined up to hear what you’ve been up to.’

  ‘Or not been up to.’

  Nina had raised her glass to her mouth, but paused long enough to say, ‘Let’s get one thing straight, Scarlett. You can say what you like to the police and social services, or anyone who cares to listen, but when you’re talking to me, I’d rather you kept your mouth shut than tell me more lies.’

  Scarlett pursed her lips but a second later, the words were spilling out of her mouth. ‘Why won’t you listen? I made it up, Mum! You think I like admitting that? Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to admit I had a crush on my teacher and for people to see that photo? He didn’t do anything!’

  Nina slammed her glass down on to the granite counter so hard that the edges of the base splintered. ‘Fact one, you sent him a provocative photo and he kept it to himself! Fact two, he has a history of interfering with his pupils. Fact three, the school are convinced enough to suspend him. Fact four, you didn’t tell me you were in a fantasy relationship, Scarlett, you told me you were having sex with someone! Fact five, you told me you weren’t sleeping with Linus. Fact six, Linus has made a statement supporting that assertion. Do I really need to go on?’

  Her daughter’s violet eyes were cold and piercing, but it was her next words that cut deep into Nina’s heart. ‘Maybe there was someone, Mum. Maybe I got sick of being ignored by you and turned to someone who was more than happy to give me some attention. And maybe I didn’t have to leave the house to find that someone.’

  Nina didn’t realize she was launching herself at Scarlett until Liam caught hold of her. She fought against him, but he had grabbed both her arms and she couldn’t get close enough to Scarlett to cause any damage.

  ‘Scarlett, go to your room,’ he said.

  ‘Seriously?’ Scarlett asked, although she was already backing away. ‘I’m supposed to take orders from you now?’

  ‘If you don’t get out now, I’ll let her go.’

  Nina continued to struggle free. ‘Get out, Scarlett! Get out now!’

  Only when Nina was sure Scarlett was out of sight and out of hearing did she stop fighting. Liam let her go and as she wrapped her arms around herself, she could feel the back of her throat burning with bile and unspent tears. ‘Why does she hate me so much?’

  ‘She doesn’t hate you.’

  Suddenly overcome with self-doubt, Nina asked, ‘But she doesn’t seem to care how much she hurts me. How can she do that to me? To our family?’

/>   ‘Honestly, Mum? I think the sooner you realize that Scarlett’s a selfish little bitch, the sooner you’ll be able to deal with all this.’

  ‘You’re supposed to think that of her, you’re her brother,’ Nina said, trying and failing to make light of the situation.

  ‘It’s still true.’

  ‘Liam, I’m not missing something, am I? What if I am as incompetent a mother as Eva’s parents think I am? What if I still can’t see what’s happening right in front of me?’ She shook her head before he could answer, and said, ‘Don’t answer that.’

  ‘I wish Bryn were here,’ Liam said. ‘I think if you could only talk to him it would stop Scarlett messing with your head. And she is messing with your head, Mum.’

  ‘And doing a very good job of it,’ Nina said. ‘Maybe it’s not only Scarlett who should be seeing a counsellor.’

  ‘Maybe. But we’ll get through this together.’

  Except they weren’t together, and Nina didn’t know how to begin to put them back. Bryn might have been a late addition to the family but he was an essential part and she missed him for more reasons than she could count. But the longer he stayed away, the longer she had to doubt that love. She hadn’t needed much prompting to think the worst of him, and he had walked away without a fight. She had told him she wouldn’t give up on him, but maybe this latest fight with Scarlett proved that she should. If she could still doubt him – and for a split second she had – then Bryn deserved better.

  Scarlett

  It was nice having the house to myself and for the first time in ages I felt calm. I was still in this horrible situation and the house was still a prison, but at least I didn’t have Mum breathing down my neck. And before you ask, no, I didn’t go out. I could have done, but I didn’t. It just shows I can be trusted after all.

  I had a bath with one of the Lush bombs I liked to use when I knew I was going to be with him. The smell reminded me of all the things we’d done, and I lay in the warm water thinking of him. God, Mum would have a nervous breakdown if she could read my thoughts some times.

  Afterwards, I blow-dried my hair until it was nice and shiny, and I even put on some makeup, promising myself I wouldn’t start crying again and mess it up, which is what always seems to happen these days. I didn’t go over the top, I know he doesn’t like it when I wear too much and I was really pleased with the result. I wished I could take a selfie so I could send it to him, but the police still had my phone. I was desperate to hear from him. I’d promised to take our secret to the grave, but it wasn’t that simple, was it? The police weren’t giving up the search for my mystery man and he needed to tell me what to do next because, seriously, I didn’t have a clue.

  I was hungry for the first time in ages and I was about to go downstairs and make something to eat when I heard Mum and Liam come back. I thought they would have been gone for hours and I was angry even before Mum screamed up the stairs to check I hadn’t gone out. I told you she didn’t trust me. She didn’t want me seeing anyone ever again. Not that I had anyone to see other than him. Eva had her own problems, obviously, and as for my other friends, some had passed on nice messages through Eva, but not everyone, not even close.

  I so needed to see what was being said about me on Facebook, but the police had my laptop too, and I couldn’t use Mum’s because Liam had shown her how to lock it with a password. It was probably a good thing I couldn’t get online because I don’t suppose the comments would have been nice. Liam said there’d been a petition at school to get Mr Swift back and expel me for wrecking his life. I think Liam was only winding me up, but I don’t know. I think if it had been another girl and not me, I would have signed it.

  With everyone back home I’d lost my appetite, but I went downstairs anyway. I wanted to know what was happening with Eva. Mum was going to stand up for Liam no matter what, even if she did think they shouldn’t keep the baby. It’s typical, isn’t it? She’s ranting on about someone abusing me, but she’s not said a thing about Liam sleeping with Eva when she was underage. They first did it the day before her sixteenth – I know, Eva told me. I don’t see anyone arresting him.

  As I crept downstairs I could hear Liam and Mum chatting in the kitchen. They were talking about me and it wasn’t so much what they were saying that got to me, but how they were acting together. Mum talked to Liam like he was her best friend all of a sudden. She speaks to me like I’m something left at the back of the fridge that’s gone off; she actually makes a face like there’s a bad smell when she’s talking to me.

  I used to think Mum was clever, but she didn’t seem to get it. The sooner everyone would give up trying to get me to talk, the sooner it would all be over. Maybe things wouldn’t get back to normal, but we could pretend nothing had happened and get on with our lives. Who wouldn’t want that?

  But Mum just kept pushing and pushing. OK, I’ll admit it, I did lose it and I shouldn’t have said what I said. Not because it upset her, but because it gave her more ammunition to keep going. When she flipped, I swear I thought she was going to strangle me. She hates me, but that’s fine because I hate her too. I know you think I’m just saying that, but it’s true.

  28

  Vikki’s first trip out following Rob’s release was an unscheduled visit to see her midwife. It was a miserable day and on her way back to her mum’s, the roads were wet and slick. The rain had stopped for now, but the dark clouds were holding their position above her head, making it difficult to spot if she were being followed.

  Rob had initially acceded to her wishes and stayed away, but after more than a week of separation, he was losing patience. He had phoned while she was waiting for her name to be called at the clinic, but she had ignored it. Whatever they might have to say to each other, it couldn’t be said in public and, besides, she didn’t want him to know she had left the house. After several failed attempts, Rob had left a voicemail message.

  Pulling on to her mum’s drive, Vikki took a moment to look around. The wind had picked up, turning every low-lying branch into a shadow that could be her husband, and her heart was hammering as she took a chance and jumped out of the car to race into the house.

  ‘How did you get on?’ Elaine asked, looking anxiously at her daughter who was still catching her breath when she appeared in the kitchen.

  ‘Everything’s fine,’ she said as her mum motioned for her to sit down at the kitchen table. ‘The midwife said the cramps are normal and my blood pressure was surprisingly good, considering the stress I’ve been under. I didn’t have to explain what was going on with Rob, everyone seems to know. Remember Amy? She was there again and she knew.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘She was really nice about it actually. It made me wonder why I stopped being friends with her in the first place.’

  ‘Yes, I’ve wondered that too. Wasn’t she the one you were always going off to gigs with when you were younger?’

  ‘Probably,’ Vikki said as she struggled to recall the lie rather than an actual memory. ‘I suppose we just stopped liking the same things.’

  Elaine caught a hint of deception and seemed about to ask something, but chose to waft the question away with her hand. So many of their conversations were cautious lately, as if they were afraid of inadvertently turning over a rock to find something they would rather not see. ‘Freya’s in the living room playing at being in school and I’ve made a start on lunch. The baked potatoes will need another half hour, so how about a hot drink first to warm you up?’

  Vikki watched her mum as she set to work. She was still wearing headscarves, and even though her scalp was showing early signs of regrowth, it would be some time before it was long enough to style. In every other respect, however, Elaine had gone from strength to strength. It was almost as if the most recent trauma to beset the family had given her a renewed vigour and purpose. Vikki supposed she should be thankful that Rob’s misbehaviour had been good for something.

  ‘Rob wants to see Freya,’ she said.


  Her mum took a moment as she set out the cups. ‘And what did you say?’

  ‘Nothing yet, it was only a voicemail. I’ll have to phone him back.’

  ‘How do you feel about seeing him again?’

  ‘It’s Freya he’d be spending time with, not me,’ Vikki corrected, and before her mum had a chance to push her on the matter, she added, ‘Not yet, Mum.’

  As if on cue, Freya toddled in from the living room. She had a sticker book in her hand, although it would appear that most of the stickers had been used to cover her jumper. Vikki had bought a whole range of activity books online to make up for the fact that Freya wasn’t going to nursery. For the moment, Vikki didn’t want anyone else looking after her other than her mum.

  ‘Mummy, look what I did,’ Freya said.

  Vikki pulled her daughter on to her lap and tried not to think about handing Freya over to Rob. She didn’t think he was the type to use their daughter as a bargaining tool, but nothing would surprise her any more.

  ‘If Rob does get charged,’ she began, ‘he’d be classed as a sex offender, wouldn’t he? They wouldn’t let him see Freya, even if he did stay out of prison.’

  ‘Not without supervision, I should think,’ Elaine said slowly as the frown forming on her brow began scrunching up her headscarf. ‘But we’re a long way from that, Vikki. You do trust him with Freya, don’t you?’

  Burying her face in Freya’s golden curls, Vikki said, ‘I don’t know what to think. The police talk about him as if he’s a monster, and they’ve made me question everything about him. What if he does like young girls, Mum?’

  ‘If you seriously believe that, then we need to have another talk right now. I don’t want to see you or Freya put in harm’s way. I won’t allow it.’

  Vikki held her breath and for a moment her body and her thoughts stilled. ‘No, I don’t believe that. I just don’t want to see him, that’s all,’ she said in a small voice that sounded like Freya’s.