Nightwatch w-1
Page 35
«Tell me to go out in the street and kill Dark Ones, and I’ll go. I’m not very good at it, but I’ll give it my best shot! Tell me to smile and shower Good on the people, and I’ll go and do it. Good and Evil, Light and Darkness, we use these words so often we lose sight of what they mean; we hang them out like flags and leave them to rot in the wind and the rain. Then give us a new word! Give us new flags! Tell me where to go and what to do!»
Her lips started trembling. I stopped short, but it was too late.
Svetlana sat there crying, with her hands over her face.
What on earth was I doing?
Had we really forgotten how to smile at each other?
Maybe I was absolutely right, a hundred times right, but…
What was my truth worth, if I was prepared to defend the entire world, but not those who were close to me? If I subdued hate, but wouldn’t give love a chance?
I jumped up, put my arm around Svetlana’s shoulders and led her out of the living room. The magicians all stood there, looking the other way. Maybe it wasn’t the first time they’d seen scenes like this. Maybe they understood the whole thing.
«Anton.» Tiger Cub appeared beside me without making a single sound. She pushed me forward and opened the door, looking at me with a mixture of reproach and unexpected understanding. Then she left us alone.
We stood there for a moment without even moving. Svetlana cried quietly, sobbing into my shoulder, and I waited. It was too late for words now. I’d said far too much already.
«I’ll try.»
I hadn’t been expecting that. Anything at all: resentment, a counterattack, complaints, anything but that.
Svetlana took one hand away from her wet face. She shook her head and smiled.
«You’re right, Antoshka. Absolutely right. So far all I’ve done is complain and protest. I whine like a child and I don’t understand anything. Everyone just sticks my nose into my porridge and let’s me play with fire and waits for me to grow up a bit. So I’ll just have to do it; I’ll try, I’ll give you new flags.»
«Sveta…«
«You’re right,» she interrupted. «Only I’m a little bit right too. But I shouldn’t have cut loose like that in front of the others, of course. They’re only having fun the best way they know how. Today’s a day off, and nothing should be allowed to spoil it. Deal?»
I felt that wall again. The invisible wall that would always stand between me and Gesar, between me and the top bosses.
The wall that time would build between us. That day I’d laid a few rows of cold crystal bricks in it with my own hands.
«Forgive me, Sveta,» I whispered. «Forgive me.»
«Let’s forget it,» she said very firmly. «Let’s forget it. While we still can forget.»
We finally looked around.
«The study?» Sveta guessed.
Stained oak bookshelves with the volumes protected by dark glass. A massive desk with a computer on it.
«Yes.»
«Does Tiger Cub live alone, then?»
«I don’t know,» I said, shaking my head. «We don’t usually ask about things like that.»
«It looks as if she does. Right now, at least.» Svetlana took out a tissue and began dabbing the tears off her face. «She has a nice house. Let’s go, everyone must be feeling awkward.»
I shook my head:
«They must have sensed that we’re not quarreling.»
«No, they couldn’t have. There are barriers between all the rooms here; you can’t sense anything through them.»
I looked through the Twilight and spotted the concealed glimmering in the walls.
«I see it now. You’re getting more powerful every day.»
Svetlana smiled, a bit tensely, but with pride. She said:
«It’s strange. Why put up barriers if you live alone?»
«And why build them if you don’t?» I asked in a low voice that didn’t require an answer. Svetlana didn’t try to give me one.
We walked out of the study back into the lounge.
The atmosphere wasn’t totally funereal, but it was close enough.
Either Semyon or Ilya had made a supreme effort and filled the room with a damp, marshy smell. Ignat was standing with his arms around Lena and gazing miserably at everyone else. He preferred fun, in absolutely any form; any quarreling or tension was like a knife in the heart to him. The card players were staring silently at a single card lying on the table, and as they looked, it twitched about, changing its suit and its value. Yulia looked sulky. She was asking Olga about something in a quiet voice.
«Will someone pour me a drink?» Sveta asked, holding me by the hand. «Didn’t you known the best medicine for hysterical women is a shot of cognac?»
Tiger Cub, who had been standing by the window looking unhappy, walked quickly across to the bar. Did she really blame herself for our argument?
Sveta and I took a glass of cognac each, clinked glasses demonstratively and kissed each other. I caught Olga’s glance: not delighted, not saddened, just interested. And just slightly jealous.
I suddenly had a bad feeling.
As if I’d emerged from a labyrinth I’d been wandering around in for days, for months. And when I came out I saw only the entrance to the next set of catacombs.
Chapter 2
It was another two hours before I got a chance to talk with Olga alone. The merrymaking that had seemed so forced to Svetlana had already moved outside. Semyon was in charge of the barbecue, handing out kebabs to everyone who wanted them—they seemed to me to cook with a speed that definitely hinted at the use of magic. There were two crates of dry wine standing in the shade nearby.
Olga was having a friendly chat with Ilya, both holding kebab skewers and a glass of wine. It was a shame to interrupt the idyll, but…
«Olya, I need to have a word with you,» I said, going across to them. Svetlana was completely engrossed in an argument with Tiger Cub—the girls were having a passionate discussion about the Watch’s traditional New Year Carnival, which they’d moved on to from the subject of the hot weather. The moment was just right.
«Excuse me, Ilya,» said Olga with a shrug. «We’ll come back to this, okay? I find your views on the reasons for the collapse of the Soviet Union very interesting. Even though you’re not right.»
Ilya smiled exultantly and walked away.
«Ask away, Anton,» Olga said to me in exactly the same tone.
«Do you know what I’m going to ask?»
«I think I can guess.»
I glanced around. There was no one near us. It was still that brief moment at the beginning of a summerhouse picnic when people want to eat and drink, before their stomachs and their heads both start to feel heavy.
«What’s in store for Svetlana?»
«It’s not easy to read the future. Especially the future of Great Magicians and Sorceresses…«
«Don’t avoid the issue, partner,» I said, looking into her eyes. «Stop it. We worked together, didn’t we? We were partners? When your punishment was still in force and you didn’t even have that body. And your punishment was just.»
The blood drained from Olga’s face.
«What do you know about my offense?»
«Everything.»
«How?»
«I work with the data, after all.»
«You don’t have high enough clearance. And what happened to me has never been entered into the electronic archive.»
«Circumstantial evidence, Olya. You’ve seen ripples running out across water, haven’t you? The stone might be lying on the bottom already, deep in the silt, but the circles still keep on going. Eroding the banks, casting up garbage and foam, even overturning boats if the stone was really big. Let’s just say I’ve spent a long time standing on the bank, Olya. Standing and watching the waves wearing it away.»
«You’re bluffing.»
«No. Olga, what happens to Sveta next, after this? What stage of the training?»
The sorceress looked at m
e, completely forgetting her cold kebab and half-empty glass. I struck another blow.
«You’ve been through that stage, haven’t you?»
«Yes.» It looked like she was going to open up. «I have. But I was prepared for it more slowly.»
«So what’s the great hurry with Sveta?»
«Nobody was expecting another Great Sorceress to be born this century. Gesar had to improvise, make things up as he went along.»
«Is that why they let you have your old form back? Not just for doing a good job?»
«You say you understand everything!» said Olga, her eyes glinting angrily. «So what’s the point of tormenting me?»
«Are you monitoring her training? On the basis of your own experience?»
«Yes. Satisfied?»
«Olga, we’re on the same side of the barricades,» I whispered.
«Then don’t stop your comrades from doing their jobs.»
«Olga, what’s the ultimate goal? What was it you couldn’t do? What is it Sveta has to do?»
«You…« she said, genuinely confused now. «Anton, you were bluffing!»
I didn’t answer.
«You don’t know anything! Ripples on the water! You don’t even know which way to look to see them!»
«Maybe so. But I got the important thing right, didn’t I?»
Olga looked at me and bit her lip. Then she nodded.
«You did. A straight answer to a straight question. But I’m not going to explain anything. You shouldn’t even know about it. It doesn’t concern you.»
«That’s where you’re wrong.»
«None of us wish Sveta any harm,» Olga said sharply. «Is that clear?»
«We don’t know how to wish anyone harm. It’s just that sometimes our Good is no different from Evil.»
«Anton, let’s stop right there. I have no right to answer your questions. And we shouldn’t spoil this surprise vacation for the others.»
«Just how much of a surprise is it?» I asked suggestively. «Well, Olya?»
But she’d already pulled herself together, and her expression remained impenetrable. Much too impenetrable for a question like that.
«You’ve found out too much already.» Her voice was louder; it had assumed its former tone of authority.
«Olya, we’ve never been sent off on vacation at the same time. Not even for one day. Why has Gesar sent all the Light Ones out of Moscow?»
«Not all.»
«Polina Vasilievna and Andrei don’t count. You know perfectly well they’re just office workers. Moscow’s been left without a single Watch operative!»
«The Dark Ones have gone quiet too.»
«So what?»
«Anton, that’s enough.»
I nodded, realizing I wouldn’t be able to squeeze another word out of her.
«Okay, Olya. Six months ago we were on equal terms, even if it was only by accident. Now we’re obviously not. I’m sorry. This is clearly a situation for someone with more experience.»
Olga nodded. It was so unexpected I could hardly believe my eyes.
«You’ve finally got the idea.»
Was she kidding me? Or did she really believe I’d decided not to interfere?
«I’m pretty quick on the uptake,» I said. I looked at Svetlana. She was chatting happily with Tolik about something or other.
«Are you angry with me?» Olga asked.
I touched her hand, smiled, and went into the house. I wanted to do something. I wanted to do something as badly as a genie who’s been let out of his bottle for the first time in a thousand years. Anything at all: Raise up castles, lay waste cities, program in Basic, or embroider in cross-stitch.
I opened the door without touching it, by pushing it through the Twilight. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t often do things like that, just sometimes when I’ve drunk a lot, or when I get really angry. The first reason didn’t fit here.
There was no one in the living room. Why would anyone want to sit inside, when outside there were hot kebabs, cold wine, and more than enough beach chairs positioned under the trees?
I flopped down into an armchair. Picked up my glass—or Sveta’s—from the low table and filled it with cognac, then downed it in one, as if it were cheap vodka, not fifteen-year-old Prazdnichny. Poured myself another glass.
That was when Tiger Cub came in.
«Don’t mind, do you?» I asked.
«Of course not.» The sorceress sat down beside me. «Anton, has something upset you?»
«Just ignore me.»
«Have you had a fight with Sveta?»
I shook my head.
«That’s not the problem.»
«Anton, have I done something wrong? Aren’t the guys having a good time?»
I stared at her in genuine amazement.
«Tiger Cub, don’t be stupid! Everything’s just great. Everyone’s enjoying themselves.»
«And you?»
I’d never seen the shape-shifting sorceress look so uncertain of herself. Were they having a good time or weren’t they—you can’t please everyone.
«They’re moving ahead with Svetlana’s training,» I said.
«What for?» the young woman asked with a slight frown .
«I don’t know. For something that Olga couldn’t do. For something very dangerous and very important at the same time.»
«That’s good.» She reached for a glass, poured herself some cognac, and took a sip.
«Good?»
«Sure. That they’re training her, giving her direction.» Tiger Cub looked around, trying to find something, then frowned and looked at the music center by the wall. «That remote’s always going missing,» she said.
The music center lit up and Queen started to play «It’s a Kind of Magic.» I was impressed by how casually she did it. Controlling electronic circuits at a distance isn’t a simple trick; it’s not like drilling holes in a wall just by looking at it or keeping the mosquitoes away with fireballs.
«How long did you train to work in the Watch?» I asked.
«I started at around seven years old. At sixteen, I was already involved in field operations.»
«Nine years! And it’s easier for you—your magic’s natural. They’re planning to turn Svetlana into a Great Sorceress in six months or a year!»
«That’s tough going,» the young woman agreed. «Do you think the boss is wrong?»
I shrugged. To say the boss was wrong would have been about as stupid as denying that the sun rises in the east in the morning. He’d been learning how not to make mistakes for hundreds—even thousands—of years. Gesar might act harshly, even cruelly. He might provoke the Dark Ones and leave the Light Ones to carry on alone. He might do anything at all. Except make a mistake.
«I think he’s overestimating Sveta’s strength.»
«Come off it! The boss calculates everything.»
«I know he calculates everything. He plays the old game very well.»
«And he wishes Sveta well,» the sorceress added stubbornly. «Do you understand that? In his own way, maybe. You would have acted differently; so would I, or Semyon, or Olga. Any one of us would have done things differently. But he’s in charge of the Watch. And he has every right to be.»
«So he knows best?» I asked.
«Yes.»
«And what about freedom?» I asked, pouring myself another glass. I didn’t really need it; my head was already starting to hum. «Freedom?»
«You talk like the Dark Ones do,» the young woman snorted.
«I prefer to think they talk like I do.»
«It’s all very simple, Anton.» Tiger Cub leaned down over me and looked in my eyes. She smelled of cognac and something else, a light floral smell. It wasn’t likely to be perfume: shape-shifters don’t like anything that is scented. «You love her.»
«Sure, I love her. That’s no news to anyone.»
«You know she’ll soon be on a higher level of power than you?»
«If she isn’t already.» I didn’t mention it, b
ut I remembered how easily Sveta had sensed the magical screens in the walls.
«She’ll go way beyond you. Her powers will totally dwarf yours. Her problems will seem incomprehensible to you; they’ll seem weird. Stay with her and you’ll start feeling like a useful parasite, a gigolo; you’ll start clutching at the past.»
«Yes.» I nodded and was surprised to notice my glass was already empty. My hostess watched me closely as I filled it again. «So I won’t stay. I don’t need that.»
«But there isn’t anything else on offer.»
I’d never suspected that she could be so hard. I’d hadn’t expected her to be so worried about whether everyone liked her hospitality and her home, and I hadn’t expected to hear this bitter truth from her either.
«I know.»
«If you know that, Anton , there’s only one reason you’re feeling so outraged about the boss dragging Sveta upward so fast.»
«My time will soon be gone,» I said. «It’s sand running through my fingers, rain falling from the sky.»
«Your time? Yours and hers, Anton.»
«It was never ours, never.»
«Why?»
It was a good question. Why? I shrugged.
«You know, there are some animals that don’t reproduce in captivity.»
«There you go again!» the young woman exclaimed indignantly. «What captivity? You should be glad for her. Svetlana will be the pride of the Light Ones. You were the first one to discover her; you were the one who saved her.»
«For what? One more battle with Darkness? An unnecessary battle?»
«Anton, now you’re talking just like a Dark One yourself. You love her! So don’t demand or expect anything in return. That’s the way of the Light!»
«Love begins where Darkness and Light end.»
Tiger Cub was so indignant she couldn’t even answer that. She shook her head sadly and said reluctantly:
«You can at least promise…«
«That depends on what.»
«To be sensible. To trust your senior colleagues.»
«I promise halfway.»
Tiger Cub sighed and then said reluctantly:
«Listen, Anton, you probably think I don’t understand you at all. But it’s not true. I didn’t want to be a shape-shifting magician. I had healing powers, and pretty serious ones.»