Reluctant Gods

by A.J. Aaron

  “Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions.”

  Edgar Cayce

  3

  I returned home from my crazy Ninee Aysel’s, put the box on the counter, and made a cup of tea. While it was steeping, I went into the living room to get a note pad and twisted my back again when I slipped on a newspaper.

  As I sipped the tea, I reflected on the meeting with Aysel and made notes to clarify my thoughts, just as I would solve problems at work. I examined the objects she gave me. It was surreal, as if I’d been tossed into another world. My back was throbbing. I jotted down the details and all the questions they raised.

  Making notes didn’t help as it usually did. The notes only confirmed my discomfort with it all. I was now more nervous and had more questions with how obviously abnormal it all was. I tossed the pad and it smacked onto the marble countertop.

  I went upstairs, cleaned out the tub, and put half a box of Epsom salts and half a bottle of bubble bath into it. Of course, everyone knows bubbles help keep the heat in the water. Plus, they smell good.

  I stripped off my clothes, slid under the bubbles and into the heat. My back muscles relaxed.

  Silence, drip, silence, drip, drip, silence, silence, silence. I played with the new rings on my fingers. I reached over to my pants on the floor, took out the stone, and held it. It seemed to vibrate.

  I heard my breathing diminish. My pulse beat slowly in my ear. My head moved ever so slightly with each slowing beat of my heart. I relaxed, felt the muscles in my legs, arms, and chest let go. I relaxed my face, neck, and even my eyelids. I recalled hearing that’s how one meditated. I didn’t know, but it felt good. They said you should stop all of your thoughts, too. I heard Aysel say, “Everything is exactly as it should be.” Yeah right.

  I tried to stop my thoughts, since none of them were making me feel better, just anxious and confused. I laid there with my eyes closed in the warm wet silence. I stopped thinking about the meeting.

  Shh…no thinking. Needed groceries for tonight. Needed to get wine to bring over Phil’s place. Shh…no thinking. Shh...relax the muscles again. Quiet.

  There. Ahh, colors…probably having eye problems now...colors gone—just black…relax…stop thinking…shh…silence, warm, relaxed… colors again…Shlunk! Whoosh!

  I passed through a tunnel then saw a woman’s face inches before mine. Smiling, with raven black, full hair, cut to her shoulders, framing a soft loving face, greenish-brown smiling eyes. White bright teeth framed with luscious full lips.

  Her look changed to one of empathy. A look that said, “It will be okay.” Who was she? Her lips didn’t move with an answer. Why was I seeing her? She had a resemblance to the picture at Aysel’s house. That’s probably why. Just my mind playing tricks.

  Her soft loving voice said, “Find me, Sevilen. We need to be together to live life. We need to help and guide each other. This is our time to be as we were. This is our time to continue where we left off and to move the family and the planet forward.

  “What happened to you in this life has happened for a reason. Now you can realize what the power of the universe is, the true power. You may have trouble accepting the teachings at first, but the universe will conspire to help you understand. It is time, it is your destiny, and I need your help. Be diligent, listen closely, have no fear.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She radiated a feeling that made me feel alive and loved.

  She continued, “Yes, let it fade. Anger, fear, anxiousness, and boredom are all lower level emotions and have no place in your new world. You must release it and allow higher energies to replace it. The first place to begin is to love and treat yourself well. Don’t give up on the rest of life. Balance is the key. Heal yourself.”

  Her image pulled back slightly, but she didn’t leave. She was cloaked in an ethereal, gossamer thin, indigo blue gown and had the shape of a goddess—slim yet shapely, with silken skin. She appeared to be about six or seven inches shorter than I was as I stood before her. She took my hands and placed them on her shoulders.

  “Explore me, I am for you to savor, to feel what it is that makes true lovers attracted to one another.”

  She slid my hands over her satiny curves. She moved toward me and settled against me. I smelled her hair so sweet and her skin like flower petals. We reclined; supported by something sensual and smooth, yet invisible. She wrapped her arms around me as we drifted. An energy of sorts gently flowed between and through us, as we seemed to merge forms. I was lost in her. I tried to analyze what was happening.

  In a start, I woke in cold water. My back felt fine now and my body felt refreshed. What happened? Had I fallen asleep? Was it a dream? I remembered her face, her body, her voice, her love. Great. I was living in a fantasy world now.

  I looked at the stone. It was glowing, from the water maybe, the way it made it shine. I held it tight. It felt comforting.

  I heard her speak in my mind, “No, love, not a dream, a premonition of what is to come that was once before. Be patient, you need to help me in the earth plane. Be patient. Do things for yourself today. Love yourself. Good things will come.”

  Shit, shit, shit! Making up voices in my head now. I stood, rinsed off, and got dressed.

  I decided to listen to the woman in my dream and be good to myself today. Heck, why not? So what if I imagined all this stuff. I decided to get some tasty groceries like lobster and clams, and a good wine and cheese, and some exotic fruits for a start. Forget going to Phil’s. I wouldn’t be very social after this anyway. I needed to relax so clarity could return and replace this madness.