Munro called out his name then, the sound of it loud enough for them to hear. She startled and looked at him.
‘I beg you to give me a chance to explain,’ he said, taking hold of her hand.
Munro’s call drew her attention once more and she walked out of the bedchamber towards the door. Before he could reach her, the door slammed open and Munro burst in. Dougal was right behind him, but Aidan waved him off.
‘I must speak with you, Catriona,’ Munro said.
‘Munro,’ she said, standing at Aidan’s side now, ‘I know how upset you are about me moving here and Aidan and my...’ He could tell she did not know what to call what existed between them. ‘But I love him, Munro. Your father is gone and I—’
‘Do you know how he died, Catriona?’ Munro asked in a harsh tone. Both of them carried wounds from their fight and both still bled. Munro must have continued struggling with Dougal for he was out of breath.
‘Do not do this, Munro. If not for the friends we were, then for her,’ Aidan pleaded with the man. The last time her world had collapsed, he was there to pick up the pieces and help her regain a life of her own. This time...who would do that?
Catriona looked at the two men, facing off now just as much as they had in the road a short time ago. She knew that the blood of young men ran hot and fights were commonplace among the laird’s strong warriors, but what had happened between these two was more personal. Sighing, she should have realised it was inevitable that they come to blows at some point over what Munro thought had happened.
‘Aye, Munro, I know how he died. His horse went lame and threw him on his journey back here from his assignment.’
‘Ask him how my father was sent on that assignment. Go ahead, ask him!’ Munro demanded. She jumped at the ferociousness of his tone. Looking to Aidan, she was shocked by the sad resignation in his gaze.
‘Aidan? What is he talking about?’ she asked, turning to the man she loved and whose bairn now grew within her. There was barely a pause and no chance for Aidan to answer when Munro said the words that would shock her to her soul.
‘He did it, Catriona. He asked his father to send your husband away so he could seduce you without a care. He sent my father away and to his death just to be able to rut between your thighs.’
If not his coarse words, his tone condemned her again of unfaithfulness to Gowan. She wanted to defend herself, but if what he said was true, then Aidan...Aidan....
‘You planned it all along? Did you?’ She looked at him, but he would not meet her eyes. ‘Did you?’ she screamed at him then.
He said nothing then and she threw herself at him, pounding her fists against his chest and crying out. His silence said more than any words he could say would. He took her by the shoulders and held her back a bit.
‘Cat, let me explain,’ he whispered.
‘Just tell me...is it true? Did you send Gowan away to...seduce me?’ She held her breath, hoping, praying, wishing he would deny it to her face, but he smiled that sad smile that always made her want to take his worry and pain away. Now, it damned him. ‘Is it true, Aidan?’ she cried out.
‘Aye, Cat. I told my father to send him away.’
Though she heard the words, she could not take them and all they meant in. Her mind rejected it all and showed her images of the two of them since she became Aidan’s leman...his whore. And all at the cost of a good man’s life.
For a moment this morning, after sharing her news—her news!—with Muireall, she’d begun to accept the idea of remaining here and raising her child, his child, there in the place where he’d grown up, around his kith and kin. But all of that crumbled as did all her hopes and dreams as the ground on which they were built were washed away by the treachery of his act.
‘Get out.’
Neither man moved, so she shouted it. ‘Get out now!’
She pushed Aidan towards the door, moving him only because he allowed it. ‘Get out. Get out,’ she repeated over and over again, only knowing she must rid herself of him and Munro, who was right all along. Unable to face her part in the sin, she needed them gone.
Neither one resisted or refused her then. When she reached the door, she noticed Rurik’s son standing there with an expression of shock that must have resembled her own. She slammed the door and was left alone in the house Aidan had given her and now she understood his actions better.
He’d sent her husband off to be able to seduce her without interference.
He’d sent Gowan to what would become his death.
He’d paid her blood money to ease his guilt.
He’d made her his whore and she’d loved every moment of it.
God forgive her, she’d accepted it all and never looked at the real cost of it.
For the longest time, she stood there, in the centre of the room, unable to move, unable to think really, unable to put all the pieces in this terrible puzzle together. Then, the silence was broken by a knock on the door. Still unable to do anything, she began to tremble as his voice spoke from the other side of it.
‘Cat, I beg you to listen to me. I know you are not ready to hear me now, but I pray you not to do anything until you hear me out. Please, Cat.’
Once his pleading would have warmed her heart. Once his pleading led to indescribable pleasure. Now, it chilled her from her skin to her soul. She would not answer him, even if she could. Closing her eyes, she prayed he would leave before she lost the last bit of dignity and control she held on to.
The sound of his heavy footfalls echoed into the silent chamber as he left.
* * *
Aidan followed the path back to where Munro stood waiting with Dougal. Without pausing, he punched the man who used to be his friend, knocking him off his feet. Dougal gave him a look of frustration, but did not intervene now. Hidden from view of the rest of the village, Aidan planned to say the things he could not say to her.
‘You had to do that, did you not, Munro? She was your father’s wife. I was your friend.’
‘That gave you no right to her,’ Munro argued back. But it was the tone of his reply, the hints of jealousy and possessiveness that Aidan had never realised before.
‘So you wanted her for yourself and I got in your way?’
The shock of his accusation flashed across Dougal’s face, but Munro’s reaction was more of the guilt he probably wore on his own face.
‘What did you hope to gain from telling her? That she would run to you and beg for your help? That she would be shamed into returning to you?’
Munro scrambled to his feet. Brandishing his fist, he fought with his words this time. ‘But I did not send my father to his death, you did that, Aidan MacLerie.’
‘Did I, Munro? I sent him away, I admit it. I wanted her from the first time I saw her and I sent him on a mission that would keep him away from Lairig Dubh so I could get her in my bed.’ Aidan shook his head. ‘But my aim was never to kill him or harm or hurt her. You did that.’
Munro gasped and shook his own head in reply. ‘I did not. I could not stand by and see my own father turned cuckold by you. So, I summoned him home to see to his own wife and her unfaithfulness.’
‘Munro,’ he said, talking now, not shouting. ‘Did you ever ask her if she’d broken her vows? You were my friend—did you ever ask me?’ He paused. ‘Nay, you did not. Instead you summoned your father back with some stories drawn from rumours and not the facts. Catriona was faithful to your father until and even after the day he died.’
Munro’s face drained of colour as the truth struck him then.
‘Between the two of us, we have destroyed two lives,’ he admitted. ‘I hope that God forgives us, for I doubt that Catriona will be able to now.’
There was nothing else to say now between them. Two men who had been friends and rivals for the same woman without knowing it and now were nothing. Only the thinnest of blood connections remained, leaving them related.
‘Come. Your father will have heard about this by now,’ Dougal counselle
d. ‘You should speak to him.’
Aidan did not wish to speak to his father—he wanted to go back and beg her forgiveness. He wanted to hold her and tell of her of the youthful madness and indefensible attempts at seduction that had driven him to have her. That he truly had not wished Gowan ill mattered not—he had, directly or not, brought about the man’s death.
Worse, he’d convinced Cat that he was better than the other men who had betrayed her in her own life. Just when she might have believed that he’d helped her, the truth came crashing into everything and she was left with a life in tattered pieces...again.
At least this time she had property and coins saved. At least this time she could walk away and live her own life with no ties to the MacLeries, if she chose to.
But he prayed that she would do nothing until they could talk. He wanted her to stay, to let him explain, but mostly he wanted her to wait until the shock of what she’d learned passed.
Aidan feared for her. He feared for their love even more.
* * *
When she was alone again, all control vanished and she crumpled to her knees and then fell to the floor.
He’d professed his love for her, to her, making plans and begging her to stay at his side. And yet, all the while, he was the one responsible for sending Gowan away. He’d given her the means to an independent life, more than she’d ever had before—property she could have called her own, money to use as she needed. He’d urged her to better herself and even his cousin offered her a place in her household.
She laughed roughly as she remembered the time she’d said something about his guilt driving all his actions and generosity to her, never dreaming she was right.
She’d been about to reveal the one thing to him that would chain her to him for life. At least God had some mercy and this happened first. An ill-begotten child from an ill-begotten love and life.
* * *
Minutes turned into hours and day became night, all without her moving or making a sound. Chaos reigned within her, her thoughts and feelings jumbled together like a tangled ball of yarn. When she noticed that the sun had risen again, she fought her way to her feet, changed her gown to one of the old gowns she’d brought with her and went to ask Ciara to set up a meeting with the laird.
By the time the sun hit the highest point in the sky, her life here in Lairig Dubh was done.
And two days later, Catriona MacKenzie was no more.
Chapter Twenty
Connor was in Gair’s chamber when Aidan crashed in. He saw everything he expected to see in his son’s eyes—fury, loss, frustration, mistrust, confusion. It was only a matter of time before he discovered his leman was gone. And then, only a matter of minutes before he came to see the man he knew would be responsible for such a thing.
He’d kept Aidan busy preparing for the visitors who would arrive at their gates this day and only when he disobeyed and went to see her did he find the empty house, the deed to it and the coins returned in the sack.
‘What did you do to her?’ Aidan said in a deadly calm voice. ‘Where have you sent her?’
‘She is gone from Lairig Dubh, that is all you need to know,’ Connor admitted as he closed the door. He did not want Jocelyn in the middle of this. ‘And since you have others things to put your mind on, I think it is good timing.’
Aidan resembled Jocelyn when she became irate and their son was certainly that. His hands balled into fists. Would he take that step and strike out at him? It was a time coming quickly and Connor knew, if not now, very, very soon. And that thought did not displease him. Every man must reach the time when he challenged his father. Connor was just disappointed that it was over this woman.
‘She should not be punished for my mistakes, Father,’ Aidan said.
‘What makes you think this is some kind of punishment? Your leman’s very existence was causing problems right now. The brawl in the village was only the latest. Now she is gone and you can move on and choose an appropriate wife without her as a distraction.’
‘So, you are punishing me by removing her?’ Aidan walked up closer to him. ‘I would not have thought you, even at your most ruthless, would do something like that.’
‘Aidan, it is time for you to marry.’
‘Why not...?’ Connor put his hand up in front of Aidan’s angry, red face to stop him.
‘My son will not take a whore to wife. Not while I am living and in charge of the people and lands of the MacLerie clan.’
‘She is not a whore!’ Aidan yelled.
Connor knew the moment Aidan’s control snapped and prepared as his fists came at him. He let his son take a few, good, close swings, before knocking him down. When Aidan regained his feet, wiping his face, Connor pushed him into the chair in the corner.
He’d discovered how Catriona MacKenzie had married Gowan and, though he did not condemn her for any of it, that knowledge became useful to him. He also understood how a man in love felt and saw the world. But, as Earl of Douran, laird and chieftain of his clan, he could not let his son’s first true love influence the decisions made—all must be done for the good of the clan.
‘I have spoken to most of the men who served with Gowan when he married Catriona those years ago. He was travelling through the edges of MacKenzie lands and came upon a man whoring out his daughter. Gowan bought her from him and brought her to our lands, kept her until he knew she did not carry another man’s bairn and then married her.’
Connor could see that Aidan was surprised to learn this about the woman he loved. He turned away and gave his son some time to think about it before continuing.
‘She had, at some point, given birth to some man’s bastard and resisted going back into her trade. Her father did not countenance her refusal and forced her to take customers whether she said aye or nay. Gowan took her from that life.’
‘I do not believe you.’
‘’Tis the way of things, Aidan. But you needed to know the truth of it. And the reason why she cannot ever be wife to you, my heir. Not when we can choose from the most virtuous, wealthiest women in the surrounding kingdoms. From women tied to every clan and family in power in Scotland, England and most of the Continent and the north. I will not accept a common whore as your wife.’
The strangest thing happened then, something Connor did not expect. Aidan matured before his eyes, his temper quelled, his face and expression grew calm and he nodded as though he understood. Connor knew he did not accept what had been done or said or decisions made, but he gathered his opposition under control. His son stood and nodded at him.
‘I have only one other question for you, Father,’ Aidan said as he walked to the chamber’s door. ‘Is she well?’
‘Aye. She is well.’ Connor could tell him that.
Aidan walked away then and Connor let out the breath he did not realise he was holding. Sinking into the chair where Aidan had just sat, he considered what his son would do next.
If it were him, he would begin sending out men to the MacLerie holdings and looking from village to village for a woman who’d just moved there. He suspected that was what Aidan would do now. It would do him no good, for Catriona was not on MacLerie lands—he’d sent her to Robert Matheson and asked for a place among his people for a widow who’d lost her husband in the service of his laird.
Although he allowed Aidan, and would allow anyone else who knew of his involvement, to believe he forced the matter, he did not tell his son that it had been Catriona’s choice to leave.
She’d arranged to speak to him at Ciara’s house and asked for his help in return for leaving and staying out of Aidan’s life. He paid her the fair value of the house and made arrangements for a woman called Coira MacCallum to travel to Matheson lands and live there. She said she did not want Aidan to find her and now he would not.
The strange thing was that she did not reveal her condition to him, when she could have used it to gain support for the bairn and for herself. Ciara had told him quietly before Catriona arrived at
her house and bade him to let her tell him. She did not.
It would not be surprising that his son had fathered a child on her for many MacLerie men had natural children. His own father produced several, including his half-sister Margaret. So it was not unusual at all. But her not wanting Aidan to know spoke of a woman who was cutting ties completely.
He would abide by their agreement, even if he pondered on it. It made things easier for him and he tried never to look for trouble.
He pulled open the door and he watched as the one person who did always seem to seek out trouble walked towards him. She would never understand the wisdom in what he’d done, so he had no plans to speak of it to her.
‘I went to see my son’s leman, after hearing about the fight, and she is gone.’ She crossed her arms over her chest, tossing her auburn hair over her shoulder and taking what he called her ‘fight’ position. ‘What have you done with her, Connor?’
He tried to look aggrieved, and part of him was that, at always being blamed for the things that happened that she did not like. He was laird. He was chieftain. He was earl. And with those titles and positions came great responsibility and the need to make decisions even when they were unpleasant, ruthless, expedient or wise. He could not reveal the truth about Catriona, for this time he’d only assisted someone who’d already made their decision.
‘Jocelyn,’ he drawled out, ‘I did nothing to the woman. She is well, as I told Aidan. She is gone. She is no longer our concern.’ She studied him in silence, so he held out his arm to her. ‘Come with me so we can watch for the guests who arrive shortly. What did Lilidh write to you about the MacKenzie girl?’
From her intelligent gaze, he knew he had not convinced her to desist in her concern for Catriona nor deflected whatever actions she would take. He only hoped that by the end of this visit, a betrothal would be in sight and her attentions must turn to that.
He could only hope.
* * *
Neither of the young women there to meet him reminded him of Cat and Aidan supposed that was a good thing. Their looks and manners never mimicked anything about her. But their presence did not ease the pain in his heart over her departure or over his betrayal of her trust.
Terri Brisbin Highlander Bundle Page 82
