by Robin Janney
W hen Craig arrived home, he could hear his friends arguing while he was still in the anteroom to the kitchen. Their voices were loud enough, and their tones heated enough, he didn’t think they’d heard him pull into the driveway or open the door. As he let Princess out and waited for her to return, he couldn’t help but overhearing.
“Damn it, Sherry! We can’t interfere!” Kevin was yelling. “It’s not our place!”
“Not our place?” The other man’s wife had no problem raising her voice to the same decibel, but Craig had no way of knowing who had actually started the yelling. “He’s been your friend for years, and you’re acting like you’re his fucking doctor instead of a friend!”
“Whether he ever admits it or not, he’s needed the doctor these past few months! Either way, it doesn’t give you the right to approach Angela about anything!”
Craig hung his coat up, thinking his friend was probably right about what he’d needed. He’d never heard Sherry this upset before.
“Aside from Craig’s repressed sexuality, you’re not even taking Angela’s issues into consideration. You saw her apartment just now! She exhibits classic…and you’re not even listening to me!”
Princess stayed near Craig as they walked to the living room and the arguing couple. “I don’t know about Kevin, but I’m sure the neighbors across the street have no problems listening in.”
Both looked at him, clearly startled at his appearance. Sherry was lowering her hand as if she’d been pointing at her husband.
“We didn’t hear you come in,” Kevin said, his voice its usual low and calm cadence. He took a step away from his wife. Who sniffed at him and left the room still in high dander.
The two men stood there looking at each other as they listened to her pounding up the stairs.
“She makes a lot of noise for such a small woman,” Craig said. As he watched, his friend’s body language changed to match his voice as he seated himself on the couch. If he wasn’t mistaken, Kevin had just suppressed his emotions. He’d seen Angela do the same thing often when their relationship had been just friendship. Well, she still did to some extent.
“You’re back sooner than expected,” Kevin was saying.
“It was a little uncomfortable,” he admitted as he sat on the couch next to his friend. He rubbed Princess’s belly as the dog flopped at his feet. “It’s the first time we’ve been alone in her apartment since New Year’s. She wanted to know if I’d be able to go with her to a wedding next Saturday. I told her I would, and that whenever she feels comfortable going outside again, I’d take her out on a date wherever she wants. I’ll probably take her out to lunch after her doctor’s appointment on Monday. Before you say anything else, care to share why you and your wife were yelling at each other like that?”
“Craig…” Kevin sighed. “Sherry’s just concerned about you and Angela. I mean, it doesn’t take a psychiatrist or psychologist to figure out the two of you have hurdles to overcome still. Sherry wants to step in and talk with Angela, see if she can’t encourage her to open up. I told her no.”
“Is that when the yelling started?”
Kevin slouched and leaned his head against the back of the couch. “It was.”
Processing this, Craig took a moment to consider what he’d overheard. What he was seeing in his friend now. Though a year younger, Kevin had been an older brother type from the first time they’d met in the dorm room. He’d always been there to give advice and guidance, had been a listening ear. He had arranged an intervention for Craig after the spring break of their sophomore year when Craig had stopped sleeping. It had been the last time Craig had gone to his father’s home for anything other than a short visit. But had he been there for Kevin in the same way? Sobered him up a few times before Sherry claimed his heart, but other than that…Craig suddenly wasn’t sure.
“What are you thinking?” Kevin asked him.
He shrugged. “Just that I’m unsure if I’ve been as good a friend to you as you have been for me. It’s always been about me and my problems. I’m sorry.”
His friend looked sad. “Do you remember when my sister suicided?”
“Yeah.” It was a little hard to forget how Kevin had been late returning from Thanksgiving break their first year.
“You told me how you’d tried once, trying to make me feel better by sharing a piece of yourself. Remember how hard it was for you to share about yourself back then? That gesture alone has always been enough to me to overlook the times you’ve needed the doctor in me more.”
“The past few months have been a rollercoaster,” Craig admitted. “And I’m glad you were able to be there for me. Is there still room for us to be friends? Because I still need my friend.”
The other man didn’t hesitate before answering. “I believe so. The lines between friend and doctor have blurred a bit over the years, so if I slip into doctor mode smack me like you did when I was a drinker.”
“I’d rather not do that again,” he said with a chuckle. “I know Angela and I have hurdles to overcome, but we’re working on it. She just found out she has no secrets from her parents. She’s told me she thinks it’ll be easier to talk to them about it. It’s probably just a matter of her feeling well enough to have the conversation. There’s more to it than her brother’s death, I’m just not at liberty to share. Not even with my doctor. I’ve told her I think talking about it will help her, because of how my talking with you has helped me. I don’t know if she’ll ever talk with a professional, because she had a bad experience with one when she was younger. Her parents don’t have anything nice to say about the experience either. Continue praying for the little girl you see.”
Kevin nodded. “I was worried about how she’d react to seeing me. But I think I was the one unprepared. It was a bit of a shock.”
“I could tell. Is there something else going on besides disagreement over how you treat me? I mean, Sherry’s never cared how you treated me before. I’m not quite sure if she even really likes me.”
“She likes you enough.” Kevin sighed. “We’ve been trying to start a family the past couple years. She’s had three miscarriages. She wants to keep trying. I don’t.”
“Three? You never said a word about her ever being pregnant.” Was he really that poor of a friend? He’d never caught a hint of the hurt he was seeing right now.
“We didn’t tell anyone, Craig. I’m not even sure Sherry’s told her mother. We were waiting for the three-month mark to announce it, which is when she lost the baby each time. I can’t keep going through that heartache and I don’t understand why she wants to keep putting us through it.”
Craig asked the obvious. “Have you guys talked about it?”
“Until we’re blue in the face. Sometimes our degrees aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.” Kevin sat up, running a hand through his dark hair.
“Have you prayed about it? Together, I mean?”
Kevin stilled and looked over at him. “You have changed.”
Grinning, he replied, “It’s what you’ve been praying for, right?”
“It is. It’s just going to take some getting used to. It feels so sudden.”
“I know it seems that way, especially since I didn’t call right away. My biggest concern was Angela. Listen, we can talk later. Why don’t you go upstairs and make up with your wife? I have to go check on the store anyway.”
Kevin nodded. “I hate it when we yell at each other.” He rose to his feet, held his hand out to Craig. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” He clasped the offered hand. “It’s what friends are for. Or so my friend tells me when I call him in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.”
Kevin laughed. “Sounds like good advice to me.”
“See you in the morning.” Craig watched his friend disappear up the stairs. He reached down and patted Princess again. “I’ll be back, girl.”
47
“A
re you going to pout the entire way home?” Crai
g asked his girlfriend as they left the doctor’s office.
“It’s another whole week!” Angela exclaimed on the other side of the truck cab.
“That he already told you he didn’t want you working or going to school anyway, so nothing’s changed.”
“Craig, my boss may be the most reasonable person in the world, but my professors aren’t. Neither are bill collectors. I have no choice at this point. I’m have to drop this semester.” She sighed. “It’s gotten easier to look through my books, and work on the homework, but I’m never going to be able to make up the lab work. I know it’s early enough to roll tuition over to the next, it’s just…so frustrating. And all Dad will tell me is he’s worked a new deal with the bank about the farm.”
Craig smiled. “I’m sure everything will work out just fine.”
“I’m glad you’re so confident. You just drove by our turn.”
“I know.” It was easier being alone with her in the truck than in her apartment. This was something they’d done many times.
“This isn’t the way home. Where are we going?”
He felt her curious glance. “I thought maybe you’d like something to eat before I took you back home.”
“Oh.”
And he realized his error. “I should have asked first. Sorry, I’m still trying to figure some of this out. Would you like to get something to eat?”
“Depends on where. I’m not carrying a lot of cash on me.”
“First of all, my treat. Second, I thought the Scenic Overlook would be nice.”
Her reaction amused him. “The Overlook! I can’t go there dressed like this!” She waved at her stonewashed jeans and the soft green sweater peeking out of her winter coat.
“It’s hardly that formal of a restaurant. Besides, you look fine,” he said as he made the turn up the mountain.
“You’re not even looking at me!”
He glanced at her, his eyebrow quirking. “Have you changed clothes since I picked you up?” She blushed. “I didn’t think so.”
Turning her head to look out the window, she fell silent. The winding road climbed, giving a spectacular view of the snowy evergreens blanketing the sloping mountainside.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been up here. I’d forgotten how pretty it is.”
Warning bells began chiming in Craig’s mind. “When was the last time?”
“Senior prom.”
Warning bells turned into a gong as he pulled into the restaurant’s driveway. He pulled into the nearest parking spot and prepared to go into reverse. “We can go somewhere else.”
“No. It’s…I want to make new memories. Like you said back at Christmas.” She shrugged deeper into her coat, beginning to fasten the top buttons.
He stopped her with a firm touch on her shoulder. “Are you sure?”
Angela nodded and looked him in the eye. “Yes. Just let me order whatever I want?”
Craig chuckled and withdrew his hand. “Order one of everything for all I care. Let me find a closer parking spot.”
“This is fine. Dr. Evans did say I could start going on short walks and outings as long as I’m bundled up.” She pulled her wide winter scarf up and over her ears, and he wondered not for the first time why she didn’t just wear a winter hat.
“Good enough,” he said, knowing full well he’d never ask her about winter hats. Especially since there wasn’t one on his own head. He put the truck in park and shut the engine down. Putting the keys in his pocket, Craig hopped out of the truck saying, “Stay put. I want to get the door for you.”
Coming around the truck, he was a little surprised to see Angela had waited. He’d half expected to find her waiting for him outside the vehicle. Helping his girlfriend out of the truck, he kept her gloved hand in one of his bare ones. Her look was one of amused pleasure.
Wanting to get her inside as quickly as possible, Craig didn’t ask her what she found amusing. He let them walk up the paved path to the restaurant in comfortable silence. Snow and ice lingered as they did in winter, the January thaw having occurred while Angela was in the hospital.
Craig wondered if anything in the restaurant’s landscape and interior had changed since the last time his girlfriend had been brought here. He didn’t ask. He wanted to, especially since he didn’t want to do anything to remind her of the boy who had abused her.
Once seated in a circular booth with a window view of the mountainside below them, they slid into the center to sit next to each other. They gave the hostess their drink orders and accepted the menus she offered before leaving. Angela didn’t look at hers very long, and he suspected she was just making sure whatever she wanted was still on the menu.
“Craig?” He heard her playing with her silverware.
“Hmm?” They had a wide variety of meals to choose from. He was torn between steak or chicken.
“You don’t have to try so hard. I already like you.” Angela shrugged. “I mean, I love you.”
He glanced over at her. “I know. I’m just trying to figure things out. I don’t want to remind you of anything in the past.”
Her head bobbed. She stopped herself from speaking as their server appeared with their drinks. Once the waitress had taken their orders and left again, he couldn’t help but tease her.
“The most elegant restaurant this county has, and you order a burger and fries?”
“Wait until you see it,” Angela said, her face reddening. Her hands began to move as she described it. “It’s huge, with bacon and lettuce and…and everything! Wait until you see what I order for dessert.”
“Something chocolate would be my guess.” He put his arm around her as they waited.
“Guilty as charged. Their triple layer chocolate lasagna is still on the menu.” His girlfriend gave a small giggle as she relaxed into his embrace.
“Sounds impressive.”
“It is. Dad usually gets me one for my birthday.” She shrugged.
Was that a hint? He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Can I ask about your relationship with Derek? What he did or didn’t do.” He felt a stiffening, but she didn’t leave his embrace.
“I guess that’s fair,” she said at last. “You have to understand, even though we only dated during my senior year of high school, we’d known each other for years. He was my brother’s best friend before the accident, so we saw each other a lot. I think we had crushes on each other from the start, but when I was dating bad boys just to piss my parents off…why do you think that’s funny?”
“Something your dad said once. Go on with your story.”
She gave a soft snort. “I bet. Anyway, Derek never asked me out. A comment here and there, to remind me he was still there whenever I was ready. He was a bit of a bully, but I thought he’d grown out of it. The summer before my senior year, I recommitted my life to Christ. It didn’t fix everything, didn’t fix anything really. I never really felt I’d strayed from Him, but I wanted to remind myself I guess. My vision from when I was four never went away. I started changing things, dressing more conservatively, trying not to swear, not dating bad boys.” Her shoulders moved in a silent sigh.
“It didn’t change what a lot of people thought of me. Most of my family thinks I’m a slut. But as I was trying to be different, trying to make my mom happy, I decided to ask Derek out. Obviously, he said yes.”
“You dated him to make your mom happy?” Craig didn’t understand why she seemed to think her parents were anything but proud of her.
“It was wrong, I know. I knew it then too, but I did it anyway. It started out typical enough. Movies on the weekends, hanging out during youth group. He managed to tag along on a couple school field trips. We’d hang out at either the Double Dip or the Burger Pit, then go up the mountain to talk and park. We used to talk about everything…politics, and movies and the outside world. We seldom agreed, but at the start we…he…agreed to disagree. He backed off when I drew lines about sex, at least in the beginning. I knew long before prom we
weren’t a good match. I should have listened to Dad and broken it off before then, but I was scared to. I was going to wait until I was away at college. Coward’s way, I know. Because…it was always the movies he wanted to see. He never wanted to hear about what I wanted to do. He decided to follow his father’s wishes to stay home even though he really wanted to go into the Air Force. He was to help with the family farm and eventually take it over. He even worked at your store for a while, but I’m not sure what happened to him after prom.”
Her hand came up to her face, rubbing it as if it was sore. “I already shared how he didn’t want me going to college. When he learned I had applied, he hit me. Just a face slap. I was smart enough not to tell him when I was accepted.”
Their food arrived, and Craig thanked the server. She hadn’t been kidding about the size of the burger, but neither made a move for their food. His arm tightened around his girlfriend, angry at what the boy had put her through. He wondered if he should tell her how he’d fired Derek, and why.
“It only got worse after that. Usually just face slaps. Pushed me a few times.” Angela pulled out of his embrace. “Never where anyone could see. He didn’t leave bruises where people could see either, not until the last time.”
“And you still went to prom with him?”
“I did.” He watched as Angela picked up the ketchup bottle and smacked the end in an attempt to pour it over her fries. “He was a good Christian boy my mother approved of.” The ketchup came out in spurts. “Why are you angry with me? Because I let some jerk hit me even though I should have kicked his ass long before I did?”
