The Middlefield Family Collection

by Kathleen Fuller

  “An interesting comparison.” Cora had to struggle not to scoff that a tiny bakery could compare to her massive business domain. “Thus, as business owners, you know you have a responsibility to your financial interests. Sawyer is the one and only heir of my considerable assets.” She adjusted the cuff of her cashmere sweater. “However, I cannot groom him for the business if he marries your daughter.”

  “Or joins the church.”

  “Precisely. He’s giving up experiences he can only dream of on a mere religious whim and the delusion that he’s in love with Laura.”

  Ella removed her hands from her stomach and leaned forward. Her small feet clad in plain black shoes barely reached the ground. She stared at Cora for a moment. Finally she spoke. “How much money are we talkin’ about?”

  “More than one billion dollars.”

  Her eyes widened. “That can’t be right.”

  “I assure you, I’m not exaggerating. Not about something this important.”

  “Let me get this straight. Sawyer knows how much is involved here?”

  “He does.”

  “And he’s givin’ all that up to become Amish?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  Ella leaned back against the couch. With one finger she wiped underneath her eye. “Unbelievable.”

  “Pardon me?”

  She got up, walked over to Cora, and took her hand. “I was so worried after I heard what Mark did to her. When she told me about Sawyer, I thought she was—what’s it called? When you fall for someone else because you’re hurtin’ inside?”

  “Rebounding?”

  “Ya, that.” She smiled. “But from what you’ve told me, I can see that’s not true. Your grandson is truly special.”

  “But—”

  “Who’s ready for some cold iced tea and oatmeal cookies?” Anna came into the living room carrying a tray laden with the goodies.

  “Oh, that looks yummy.” Ella took two cookies and sat back down. She bit into the cookie and nodded. “Gut, Anna. Worthy of our bakery, if you don’t mind me sayin’.”

  Anna smiled. “I don’t mind at all. Sawyer and Laura will be here in a minute with the ice.”

  “Great. I’ll just grab me another one of these cookies while we wait.” She looked at Cora. “I’m glad we had that talk, Cora. I feel like we’re familye already.”

  “I, uh—” Cora sputtered.

  “What’s that about familye?” Sawyer walked in carrying a large metal bowl filled with chipped ice.

  Ella stood. Walked to Sawyer and put her hand on his arm. “Your grandmother has been telling me all about you.”

  “She has?” Sawyer’s eyes widened as he looked at Cora. “Hope it was all good.”

  Ella gripped Laura’s hand and grinned. “Trust me, it was.”

  Cora sat back and watched in shock as the one person she thought could help her cause welcomed her grandson with chubby, open arms.

  CHAPTER 25

  “This is a surprise,” Katherine said as her father drove the buggy out of the driveway. After a hot day, the sun glowed low in the sky. The sound of cicadas and bullfrogs surrounded them as they made their way down the road.

  “We haven’t been for a drive in a long time.” Her father turned and smiled. “With you going back to work soon, I imagine you’ll be really busy again. I figured tonight would be a gut night to bring back some memories.”

  Katherine leaned back in the seat and smiled. When she and her sisters were younger, their father would take them for evening drives. At the time she thought it was her father’s way of rewarding all of them for good behavior. She found out later it was more to give their mother a break from three little girls.

  But the reason didn’t matter. Katherine cherished those drives together, watching the landscape pass by as their father, with an almost saintly patience, answered their questions about everything they could think of.

  Yet right now she valued the quiet. The past couple of days, since she’d seen Johnny and talked with her mother, had been difficult. She tried to keep her mind off everything by working on a baby quilt she had started before she’d gotten sick. Bekah had to remind her who it was for. Although it had only been a little more than a week since she lost her memory, Katherine had accepted that she probably wouldn’t get it back. And she realized her father was right—it didn’t make a difference. The present counted, as did the future.

  She’d also made some decisions during that time alone with her quilt, praying as she stitched. If she wasn’t meant to marry, her heart would eventually heal. God would fill her with something else. A yearning she didn’t know she had, and one that would be in accordance with God’s will.

  Wasn’t that what she should have prayed for all along? Not for Johnny to love her, or for her to let him go. But for God’s will to reign in her life. Her selfish desires had caused her to neglect Him.

  “You feeling okay?” her father asked as he directed the buggy down Hayes Road.

  “I’m fine.” At his dubious look she added, “Really, I am.”

  “I believe you. You seem more peaceful than I’ve seen you in a long time.”

  “I am. You were right about the memories. They don’t matter. Just like Mamm was right about Johnny.”

  “So you don’t think he matters?”

  “A part of me will always care for him, Daed. But I think I’ve finally reached the point where I can let him geh.”

  “I see.” Her father didn’t say anything else. He had no reaction at all, even when they pulled into Johnny’s driveway.

  “What are we doing here?”

  Her father brought the horse to a halt. “I’m giving you the chance to let him geh. But hear him out first. And really listen to him, Katherine, before you make your final decision.”

  She heard the squeak of a door hinge. Johnny came out on the sagging front porch, his hands clasped behind his back. He wasn’t wearing a hat, and he had suspenders on over his light green shirt. She hadn’t seen him wear suspenders in a long time, other than church. She turned to her father.

  “I suppose you’re not coming inside?”

  “Nope.”

  “Does Mamm know you did this?”

  “Nope.” He smirked. “But she will. Eventually. Now get out. John’s waiting for you.”

  Katherine couldn’t move. Her stomach roiled, and her body was a jangle of sharp nerves. She wasn’t prepared for this. Her mother had orchestrated things so she wouldn’t have to see him again, other than at church functions, where he’d always made it a point to avoid her in the past. The idea of letting him go seemed easier that way. She hadn’t thought she’d have to do it face-to-face.

  “Katherine.”

  She couldn’t ignore her father’s command. She stepped out of the buggy and looked at Johnny. Her father turned the horse and pulled out of the driveway. Hopefully he would be back soon; she didn’t intend to stay here long. The buggy rolled down the street, and the clip-clop of the horse’s hooves disappeared in the distance before she’d taken a single step.

  Johnny walked toward her. He put his hands in his pockets. When he reached her, he stopped a few feet away. “Danki for coming.”

  “I didn’t have much choice.” She blurted out the words, and for once didn’t care. “Mei daed didn’t tell me he was bringing me here.”

  “Would you have come if he had?”

  She looked away, willing herself to say no. Instead, she said the truth. “I don’t know.”

  “Can we geh inside? I want to talk to you.”

  “Maybe we should just talk out here.”

  “Can we compromise? Sit on the front porch at least?”

  “Do you think it will hold us?”

  He gave her slender frame a once-over, then smiled. “I’m pretty sure it will.” He rushed to the house and went inside as she headed for the porch. By the time she reached the top step he’d brought out two very worn kitchen chairs. He set them down and gestured to one.

  Sh
e sat down and looked at the front yard. She frowned.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m trying to picture a horse farm.”

  “And you can’t?”

  “Not right now.”

  He stared at the peeling porch boards. “Yeah, it takes a lot of imagination.” Then he grinned. “But I found an investor.”

  “You did?”

  “Ya. Soon enough I’ll have the funds to do whatever I want with this place.”

  “Like raise horses?”

  “And other things.”

  “Is that really what you want?” she asked.

  “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “You need to be sure, don’t you think?”

  “That doesn’t matter right now.” He looked at her intently, making her heart flutter. “I know you don’t trust me. I’ve been terrible to you over the years, and I’m sorry.” He turned in the chair, shortening the distance between them. “But I meant what I said the other day. I care about you.”

  She threaded her fingers together. “If it’s out of guilt, you can let that geh. You don’t have to feel guilty about arguing with me.”

  “Arguing? What are you talking about?”

  “Mamm said we were arguing in the living room right before I passed out. It doesn’t matter what we were fighting about. I realize I probably won’t get my memories back from that time. I’m okay with that. I remember what’s important.”

  “But we weren’t fighting.”

  She frowned. “We weren’t?”

  He shook his head. “I can see why your mamm might have thought we were. I’d stopped by to give you the bag you left at my haus. And I had promised myself I was going to tell you the truth. To finally be honest about my feelings for you.”

  “And?”

  “And—well, I told you. Then you fainted.” He smiled ruefully. “Wasn’t exactly the reaction I was expecting. But you were really sick.”

  “Mei mamm said you upset me.”

  “I thought I might have.” He shrugged and stared at the porch again. “I probably did.”

  “But since I don’t remember, we’ll never know.” She sighed. “Johnny. Look at me.”

  He turned, his expression the most serious she’d ever seen. “I’ve loved you for years, Johnny. You ignored me for almost as long.”

  He swallowed, his eyes turning glassy. “I know. And there’s only one reason for it. I’ve been a coward. You put me on a pedestal so high, I was afraid of falling off.”

  She drew back. “So it’s mei fault?”

  “Nee.” He rubbed his forehead with his palm. “That’s not what I mean. I didn’t think I was worthy of you. You deserve so much more than me.”

  She couldn’t believe he was saying this. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because I’m nothing special.” He shrugged. “I’m not saying that because I feel sorry for myself, or because I’m fishing for compliments. It’s the truth.”

  “You really believe that?”

  “I’m just a simple mann.” He took her hands in his. “I’m sorry I took you for granted. I assumed you would always be there whenever I got my act together. But you became sick, and I realized I could lose you. And that Isaac guy showed up at the diner that day. I could see you were moving on. You had a right to. But things are different now.”

  “How?”

  “I have this place.” He gestured to the farm. “A way to make a gut living. I’m ready to settle down. With you.”

  “Johnny.” She pulled her hands from his. “I appreciate you telling me this.”

  His face fell. “Appreciate?”

  “I’m glad you finally told me.”

  “But?”

  She crossed her arms. “This doesn’t change anything.”

  He gaped. “It doesn’t?”

  “I’m different, Johnny. I don’t know if it’s because of the illness or just me finally understanding what I’ve been missing. I thought if you loved me, if we were together, then everything in mei life would be perfekt. I put mei faith in you.”

  “And I failed.”

  “It was an unfair burden. I wasn’t putting my faith in God. All mei prayers were centered around you. Either asking Him to make you love me, or asking Him to make me fall out of love with you. Not once did I ask Him what His will was. Or what He wanted me to do for Him.” She looked at him. “It was all about me, Johnny. It wasn’t even about you.”

  He got up, paced across the porch, then returned and sat down in the chair. “What does that mean for us?”

  “It means we have to let geh of each other. For gut.”

  Johnny’s heart ached at Katherine’s words. He had her within reach. Now she wanted him to let her go. Not because she was angry with him, or because she had found someone else.

  Because of God. The last thing he expected. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” he pleaded. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

  “Ya, it does.” She stood. “This isn’t the time for us.”

  He shot up from the chair. “God told you that?”

  “He didn’t have to. I’ve always put you first in my life, in my thoughts, in my heart. It’s time for me to do that with God.” Her gaze was so bittersweet it tore at his heart.

  “So you’re saying we’ll never have a chance?”

  “Only if it’s God’s will.” She stepped down from the porch steps.

  He watched as she walked away. He fought for a way to change her mind. But the words wouldn’t come. They couldn’t, because he knew she was right.

  Yet he didn’t want it to end like this. “Can I at least drive you home?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll walk.”

  She was determined. And he didn’t follow her. Even though his heart lay bleeding in his hands, he stayed rooted to the porch.

  He wouldn’t beg. Wouldn’t try to manipulate her. Because she was doing something that made him fall in love with her even more.

  She was becoming a woman of God.

  “I can’t believe you went behind mei back, Thomas.”

  Thomas sat on the cedar hope chest at the end of their bed and watched Margaret’s nostrils flare, as they always did when she was upset. And she was hopping mad right now. He’d expected it. And this talk was long overdue.

  “You were being unfair to the bu,” he said. “You know that.”

  Margaret whirled around. “Exactly when was he fair to our dochder? He’s done nix but hurt her. And what do you do? Drop her off at his doorstep when she’s most vulnerable.”

  “She seemed fine to me.”

  “She lost her memory!”

  Thomas patted the empty space next to him. “Margaret. Sit down.”

  She crossed her arms. Gave him her hardest look, then plopped beside him.

  “We have to accept that Katherine may never regain that time she lost. But she’s going to be all right.”

  “As long as she stays away from Johnny.”

  “He’s made plenty of mistakes, that’s for sure.” Thomas took her hand. “I did too, if you remember.”

  She looked away. “I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.”

  “Because you forgave me for being a dummkopf.”

  “We were sixteen. It wasn’t like we were engaged. You could see whoever you wanted.”

  “But I still hurt you. You wouldn’t talk to me for weeks after I started dating other maed.” He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “But you forgave me when I apologized.”

  She sighed. “I know where you’re going with this.”

  “Gut. We have to show John mercy. We have to respect Katherine’s decision about him, and any other beau she might have. We can’t control her life.”

  Margaret leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m tired of seeing her hurt.”

  He kissed her temple. “Just remember, God loves her more than we do. When she hurts, He hurts for her. But He also knows what’s best. You’ve always taught our kinner to rely on God.”r />
  “Time to follow mei own advice.”

  “Ya, lieb. It’s all we can do.”

  CHAPTER 26

  The day after Katherine left, Johnny sat on his front porch waiting for the Wagners to show up. They were running late. He didn’t care. He’d spent all last night thinking about what Katherine had said and examining his own life.

  Had he measured his choices against what God wanted? He had no idea, because like Katherine, he hadn’t put God first. He’d shoved Him far down on the list. Now he was about to sign a contract that would change his life forever. And for the first time he truly asked God if he was making the right decision.

  The Wagners approached in their fancy car. Until the moment he saw them exit their vehicle, he’d been a jangle of nerves. Suddenly, calm washed over him as a verse he’d heard long ago during a church sermon came into his mind:

  Be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God . . .

  He had only been worried about being worthy of Katie. Worthy of his family. But not once had he thought about what he had to do to be worthy of the Lord.

  His father was right. Katherine was right. Everything he’d done, from buying the land to working with the Wagners, was impulsive. And as James and Lois Wagner reached his porch, he knew what he had to do.

  “John,” Wagner said, extending his hand as Johnny stood up from the old kitchen chair. “Good to see you again.”

  Johnny shook his hand but didn’t respond. He looked at Lois, who was fixated on the house, probably making mental notes about the bed-and-breakfast she’d create.

  “Lois and I are excited about this opportunity.” He lifted his black leather briefcase. “I have all the paperwork right here.”

  “Yeah,” Johnny said, putting his hands in his pockets. “About that. I’ve been doing some more praying”—he looked Wagner directly in the eye—“and this isn’t going to work.”

  Lois snapped to attention. “What?”