Chapter Ten
Maddie woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She picked it up. It was Daya. She’d spent the night tossing and turning, but even her sleep-deprived brain understood that a call from Daya this early was unusual. She was not an early riser.
“What’s up?” she answered as she forced herself out of bed and headed downstairs for coffee.
“I got the job. After that second audition. Obviously, they couldn’t believe how amazing I was the first time around and needed another look to be certain.” Daya’s excitement sounded even louder this early in the morning. “I start in six weeks and I’ll be filming in Vancouver for three months. Three months in the rain.” She groaned comically. “I’m letting you know so you can start to prepare for life without me and,” she paused dramatically, “start arranging my fabulous going away party.”
“You got the hospital drama thing?” Maddie couldn’t stop smiling. Daya deserved the break.
“Dr. Marianne Theron, distinguished but slightly kooky psychiatrist, reporting for duty.” She laughed.
“That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you. But, damn, I’m gonna miss you. So is Mateo. Who’s he gonna eat ice cream with now?”
There was a pause on the other end of the call.
“He doesn’t look like he’s short of playmates to me.” The excitement disappeared and Daya sounded a little snarky.
“Huh?”
“I’m just saying maybe you’ll both be too busy hanging with Sofi to miss me.” She sighed. “I honestly don’t get why you’re so eager to be back in her orbit. It seems kind of masochistic.”
“I’m not back ‘in her orbit’—whatever that means—I’m redecorating her house, I already told you. I have to go there. I have to see her.”
“In the evening, with Mateo, and a big bag of fucking groceries. That didn’t look like a working visit, babe. Not unless you’re now moonlighting as a chef to the stars.”
“I just…” Maddie started to respond and then the penny dropped. “How did you know we hung out?”
“TMZ, Just Jared, Pop Crave, Daily Mail. Photos of you heading into her house on every entertainment website I looked at this morning. Most of them expressing more joy than they should at the idea of you two burying the hatchet, several wondering if this means the band is getting back together.”
Maddie typed her name into the search engine on her phone and cringed at the series of photos and stories that appeared.
“Dammit.” She’d assumed no one would be interested in running photos of her. Most of the photographers hadn’t even known who she was.
“You can see Mateo’s face.”
“Yeah. He takes a good photo. Gets that from his mama.” Daya still sounded pissed, but her tone was a little softer.
“I don’t want this.” Maddie kept scrolling through the stories. All very similar versions of each other. Same photos, same blurb. She stopped at one that had a picture of her arrival at Sofi’s house next to one of Noah and Sofi kissing on her doorstep. The kiss looked passionate, and the photo made her feel every kind of stupid for imagining that Sofi had been flirting with her with any kind of intent. She hated herself for clicking on the link. The story was short and highlighted the fact that Noah had interrupted his own tour to fly back and spend the night with his sick girlfriend, who was apparently being cared for by her “old friend” Madison Martin. Farther down was a photo of Noah carrying a bag of takeout food that was captioned #couplegoals.
She was annoyed. She told herself it was nothing to do with seeing them kissing and everything to do with the fact she’d taken the trouble to fill Sofi’s fridge full of healthy food. The article contained all kinds of guesses about whether Sofi would have had the energy for the kind of night that Noah might have been expecting. She felt tension in her body. This bullshit was exactly what she’d been happy to get away from when she left the industry—the endless innuendo, the intrusion, and the scrutiny—and she hated seeing herself, and Mateo, splashed across websites writing that kind of trash.
The unmistakable feeling of jealousy buzzed like a wasp at the back of her consciousness. Sofi had been complaining of loneliness, but here was Noah coming to her side like a knight in shining armor.
“Babe?” Daya’s voice reminded her she was on the other end of the phone.
“Yeah. Sorry. Went down the rabbit hole.”
“Be careful.”
“What?”
“Be careful with her. I’m not stupid, I know you guys left things unfinished, and I can imagine it’s hard not to want to talk about that, but I just don’t trust her and you don’t need her playing games with your heart again.”
“That’s not fair. We’re both sorry about what happened. I told you. We’ve talked and she’s explained. I feel like a lot of what we blamed her for wasn’t even anything she did. And I feel bad that we treated her so badly.” Maddie felt tired, like she wanted to crawl back into bed. She didn’t want to defend Sofi to Daya. “It’s just not anything you should worry about. And I’m not going to get my heart broken, it’s not like that.” Though, if Daya had asked, Maddie couldn’t have explained what it was like. She shook her head, trying to shake away the uneasy feeling that had settled in.
“Okay.” Daya spoke softly. “I don’t believe you, but okay. Just know that if you want to talk, or ever think you’re going to do anything stupid, I’m here.”
“Is that offer from Dr. Theron or Daya?” She tried to lighten the conversation.
“Me. I don’t think you could afford the good Dr. Theron, shrink to the stars.”
They said good-bye with a promise to meet for lunch later in the week and Maddie carried her coffee to the couch, wanting a quiet half hour before Mateo got up.
She was loving the project at Sofi’s house, but if she was honest, she had all kinds of feelings about seeing Sofi again. Daya was right, there were a lot of reasons to be careful.
* * *
Sofia had a headache. She didn’t know if it was the stress of the night before, a simple hangover, or linked to how badly this meeting was going. She didn’t care really. She just knew her head hurt and she wanted to be in bed.
They’d moved the meeting to her house, in recognition of her “need to rest,” but it hadn’t helped. She wasn’t in the mood for it at all and was starting to feel anxious as well as grouchy.
At one end of her living room, Rick stood next to a portable display screen, flanked by his far-too-excitable assistant, Carly. He was the video director that Sofia had worked with most often, and he’d spent the last hour talking through possible themes and visuals for the video to her new single. The single they were all worried about. The one that needed to do well to give the album a boost. They’d found fifty different ways to say how important it was that it sold well without really saying it directly, but she understood the euphemisms and she certainly felt the pressure. On top of that, the questions everyone asked about her health as they arrived were clearly loaded with worry that she might need to cancel more tour dates. She was just as focused on her career as they were, but sometimes she really needed the concern to be for her and not just for her sales figures.
She was on the couch. Her mom and Felix sat side by side on the couch across from her and two of the dining chairs had been pulled into the living area for Justin and Krissy. Both of them looked stiff and uncomfortable at having to meet outside of the record company offices where they usually insisted on doing business.
The meeting had started badly and gone slowly downhill. Justin’s opening contribution had been to ask if the decision to release “Not This Time” could be revisited. Sofia hadn’t expected to have to defend the song again, and she’d been annoyed that neither Felix nor her mom had helped her stick up for it. She loved the song, and when she sang it she felt like she was saying something that mattered, something that moved her. It was all about taking chances, about not allowing yourself to have regrets. And with Maddie suddenly appearing back in her life, the song mean
t a whole lot more to her now.
“It’s my choice to make. There’s no debate to be had.” She didn’t hide her annoyance.
“Yeah, obviously, no one’s disputing that. It’s just that the focus groups seem to have a strong preference for “De Nada.” We showed you the feedback.”
Sofia wasn’t stupid. She knew that the record company wanted her to endlessly release songs that were just like her mega hit single—a Latin-infused sugary pop song. They wanted a sure thing. And usually she’d done exactly what their focus groups recommended. But for once, she wanted to try something a little different, something that she felt more connected to.
“I know what the focus groups said. But I think this song could do just as well if we promote it properly to the right audience. And since that’s exactly why we’re here, we should get on with it.” Sofia had drawn a clear line. But then they’d spent the last hour looking at Rick’s ideas for the video and Sofia didn’t like a single one.
“Can we take five minutes and get some air?” Sofia stood and headed toward the deck as she asked the question, not really expecting anyone to say no.
“Good idea. This room’s like a fishbowl.” He smiled. “Write that down, Carly. New video idea—Sofia trapped in a giant fishbowl.” He was trying to lighten the mood and Sofia appreciated it. She wasn’t feeling his ideas today, but he was much too good at his job to take it personally.
Sofia stood at the railing and let the ocean breeze wash over her. She looked at her watch. Though the wine had made her memory hazy, she was sure Maddie had said something last night about coming by this morning to decide on which fabrics to use. She smoothed a hand down her yellow sundress. She had already kicked off the shoes that matched the dress perfectly, feeling stupid wearing them for a meeting in her own house and knowing she had dressed for Maddie, who not only didn’t seem to be coming but who probably didn’t even care what she was wearing.
Sofia sighed at her own stupidity as the door behind her slid open. She turned to see her mom.
“It’s so nice out here.” Her mom joined her at the railing.
Sofia nodded in reply.
“You okay, cariño? You seem not so good today.” Her mom looked at her with concern.
“I’m tired.”
“Yeah, I saw the bottles in the recycling.”
“Really, Mom?”
Her mom held up her hands. “I wasn’t checking, I just saw them.”
Sofia turned back to the ocean. Below them, at the shoreline, one of her neighbors was walking his dog. He waved at Sofia and she lifted a hand in response.
“I saw the photos too.”
Sofia was surprised her mom had waited so long to raise it with her. She kept watching the waves rushing toward the sand and then sliding away again.
“You said it was going to be all business. That you wouldn’t even see each other.”
Sofia turned to her mom. “She brought me food. It was nice of her. She has no one to leave Mateo with, so she had no choice but to bring him.” She hated explaining things to her mom. She didn’t really understand why she was. Maybe she just needed to say it to herself. “She was a really good friend once. I just want…” She stopped herself. This wasn’t something her mom would understand.
“Noah came all this way to see you. We made sure that the photographers were there to see him, but today the stories are all about her, not him. They’re talking about you wanting to bring the band back together. It’s not helpful, Sofia.” Her mom was not a monster and Sofia sensed her awkwardness, understanding that she had drawn the short straw in being the one to talk to her about this.
Sofia shook her head. Of course that was why the photographers were there. Her mom and Noah had sent them. This house was her only refuge from all the madness in her life, and they’d ruined it for another photo op with her fake boyfriend. Did she really need the publicity that badly? The whole thing was so unbelievably fucked up that she didn’t trust herself to respond reasonably. She swallowed down the words she wanted to say.
“Let’s just get this meeting done. I still need to rest.” Sofia spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m sure the one thing we all agree on is how much me not touring would cost us in album sales.” She pushed away from the railing and moved back toward the house. Her mom leaned in and placed a gentle hand on her arm.
“She’s not good for you, she never was.” Sofia heard genuine concern in her mom’s voice and couldn’t help but be moved by it. But she shook away the feeling, wanting to stay mad at her mom, at Felix, at Noah, at all of it. She needed the anger. She just didn’t know what for yet.
* * *
“I just think the song is a lot darker, a lot edgier than the vibe this is giving me.” Sofia spoke as Rick nodded and skipped to the next storyboard. “It’s about someone confronting the fact that they were too timid in the past, too willing to accept second best. It cost them a whole lot, and this time, they’re going to be braver and just go for what they want, regardless of the consequences.” She trusted Rick and loved working with him, but he just didn’t “get” the song yet.
The front door chimed and her mom went to answer it. Moments later, Maddie walked in ahead of her mom, looking hesitant, a backpack in hand. She offered Sofia a small self-conscious wave. Sofia’s pulse quickened at the sight of her. Hadn’t it always? She was in shorts and a long-sleeved T-shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and the neckline was artfully torn to reveal her collarbone. Sofia couldn’t stop the tug in the muscles low down in her belly that the sight of her produced.
“Hey, Maddie.” She lifted a hand and was rewarded with a nervous half-smile.
“Sorry for disturbing you all. I didn’t know there was a meeting today.” She swept the room with a hand as she spoke, sounding unsure. “I could come back tomorrow.”
“No, stay. We’re almost done. Come sit down a while. It might be good to have your perspective on something.” Sofia indicated the vacant space next to her, ignoring Felix’s quizzical look and the murmuring from Justin and Krissy. Maddie hesitated.
“Please.” The plea worked and Maddie crossed the room to sit next to her.
“You know ‘Not This Time’?” Sofia was making a big assumption.
“Yeah, I love that song.”
Sofia flushed at the knowledge that Maddie still cared enough to listen to her music.
“Describe it in three words.” Sofia was putting Maddie on the spot, knowing that all eyes in the room were focused on them.
“Wow, only three? That’s tough.” She chewed the inside of her cheek self-consciously and Sofia found it wonderfully familiar. “Okay, I’d say dark, sexy, and kind of mean.” Maddie smiled at her as she spoke and Sofia felt the room get a little warmer, felt her skin tingle. She held Maddie’s gaze for a beat and then turned back to Rick.
“Exactly that and that’s the vibe we need for the video.” She had always felt so sure of herself with Maddie at her side. They might not get her, but Maddie did.
“But I’m not sure the fans expect ‘dark, sexy, and mean’ from you, Sofia.” Krissy spoke up for the first time. “I mean, it might not go over well. Your usual vibe is a lot lighter.” She looked from Sofia to Justin and back again. “Maybe we do need to look again at the song choice. We all know the choice of second single is going to make or break this album.”
Sofia checked herself, getting hold of her frustration. There was no need to upset anyone, no need for angry words. They weren’t listening to her and they didn’t understand the song, but that didn’t matter because she was in charge. She might not always act like it, but she was.
“I totally agree with Krissy. I mean, I love the song, but maybe it’s not right for you, babe.” The voice came from the bottom of the stairs, where Noah—dressed only in boxers and one of Sofia’s tour T-shirts—was now standing.
“Hi, guys.” He addressed the room before crossing to sit in the space on the couch between Sofia and Maddie. He smiled the smile his fans found so ir
resistible. “Sorry for oversleeping. I’m on a different time zone. Just came to see my girl yesterday, to offer a bit of TLC in her hour of need.” He threw an arm around her shoulders and rested his head against hers. Sofia tensed. She hated him touching her when it wasn’t absolutely necessary. And the little performance he was putting on definitely wasn’t necessary because everyone in that room, with the exception of Maddie, knew that their relationship had been constructed entirely for PR reasons. She felt the weight of the lie yet again.
“You again?” Noah turned to Maddie. “Delivering groceries and now sitting in on creative meetings. That’s a pretty wide set of responsibilities for a decorator.” The sarcasm was obvious.
“Noah.” Sofia said his name like a warning, removing his arm from her shoulders and patting his hand. “Why don’t you go get showered? We’re nearly done and I think we’re going for lunch soon.” She wanted him gone, wanted him away from Maddie.
He looked like he was going to say something but then seemed to decide against it.
“Okay, sweetheart.” He leaned across and kissed her cheek, and it took Sofia a lot of effort not to slap him. She took a moment to compose herself, not daring to look at Maddie, knowing how close she’d come to telling her last night that she and Noah were faking it. He was such a jerk. However good they’d gotten at faking it, she couldn’t believe Maddie would think for a minute that he was her type. She waited till he had padded back upstairs before continuing.
“Whatever you all think, the problem is not the song. And we’re not going to change it, okay?” Sofia kept as calm as she could, despite the churning in her belly. If this went wrong, if the album tanked, it would all be on her.
She turned to Rick. “Can we try again with some themes that are a bit darker? A lot darker actually.”
“Absolutely.” Rick nodded. “I get it, Sofi. Give us a few days and we’ll come back and pitch again.” He began to pack up his laptop and notes.
“Thanks, Rick, you too, Carly. See you guys soon.” Sofia shook their hands. She could feel the tension in the room. It wasn’t just her asserting herself over the song, it was the fact of Maddie being here.
Not This Time Page 12
